Focused February - Week 4

[ladybirdheart]

Focused February - Week 4

Hi there Prancy and good show on your two weeks. And thank you, thank you dear Chill for noticing that it has been hard to come here when things are not particularly positive and upbeat with regard to alcohol. I think it is natural for threads to change over time and I realized last fall that if I ever had problems with relapse again I would not be comfortable talking about them here. I have been unsure as to why the thread has still been divided into weeks, its hallmark in the beginning, to ensure that people who struggled still had manageable goals. It seems I am not alone in fading away:l. I am on my latest version of Day 11. I do feel a shift in the nature of my commitment, its not really ?stronger? as in white knuckle, puffed up, I am going to beat this strong, or more ?scared? as in drink is going to ruin my life or kill me, it is more simple, quiet, practical. I am just doing what I need to do and not being such a bleeding rebel about the whole thing. My best to everybody on the path whether if be a public forum or your own heart. Love, Ladybird.

[Cassia]

Focused February - Week 4

Hi all,

I would like to wholeheartedly second what chill has said. I want everyone who is struggling to feel that they can come here and talk about it. There has been a lot said on the forum recently about drinking thoughts and how they make effect other peoples sobriety and I wonder if that is why people have not felt comfortable to discuss it openly in threads that have abstinence associated with them.

I want to make a CLEAR stand and say that if I start drinking it is my own choice and that's it. If any of you are struggling and want to have an open, honest and frank discussion, please please please pm me. I am always happy to listen and help where I can. I may not always say what you want to hear but it is coming from a place of love and concern.

We are have our own way out - let's help each other. If there are any topics you want to tear into then let's do it!

Can I just say well done to everyone and particularly to those who have recently rejoined. You made a great step by getting back on the threads!

Also, if any of you think I am talking a load of guff please say!!

Xx

[Chillgirl]

Focused February - Week 4

LBH - I'm so glad to see you checking in and I hope you will stay with us and let us support you on whatever path is working for you. This thread is for anyone with plans for monthly abstainence and NOT restricted to long termers. It's lovely to have had newcomers joining us recently and I hope we can truly help everyone who drops by.

I have just spoken to my friend who's husband is still in Libya and as he has worked out there for over 15 years he is helping the British authorities reach expats in the remote desert areas. I'm praying he stays safe.

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 4

Afternoon folks,

Chill, I hope your friend's husband is safe himself in Libya.

LBH, in answer to your question about how the thread ended up broken down into weeks.......
I think it was originally Dill's request~- when she didn't feel ready to make a longer commitment.

Prancy, good to see you here as well

Grateful at the moment that I just received a new work order $$

[Cassia]

Focused February - Week 4

Hey lav...congrats on the order! X

[Chillgirl]

Focused February - Week 4

Ok my focused friends, this is a few days early but I leave tomorrow for Dublin and wanted to share this with you before I go.
Here is some of the things we've been up to this month........

We have had blizzards, storms and dare I mention Snow?!
There has been healthy eating, groundhog day and Houdini exploits....
Monkey suits, power cuts, super bowl and sinus ops (ouch)

19 year old triplets, blue eggs?! Backache and night sweats.
Our darling Rusty reached the big 5 zero and continues her pursuit
of worthy stories for the MWO Daily News

We saw Zak the rescue dog, more Snow
Lav's been chasing chickens and baking labor cookies.
There's been crockpots, fish tanks and my Scottish home coming,

Cass with new job prospects and some seriously missing storks!
We have expressed gratitude, experienced calmness,
dealt with cravings and endured trashed friends....

There's been knitting in bed, ladies football and a
forthcoming trip to meet some MWO-ers in Ireland.
We welcomed Piper, My Life and Jolie. :welcome:

Sent loving thoughts to NZ, peaceful ones to Libya and healing ones to Sped.
Extra special :l for LBH and Dill and calling out to everyone else to check in soon

Finally I want to say an enormous CONGRATULATIONS to Doggy Girl who this month reached 1000 AF days and continues to be such a positive asset to this site :yougo:

[Dewdrop]

Focused February - Week 4

Chill you said -
I have to say that it has concerned me recently with some of us struggling that maybe we are not supportive enough on this thread. I think it's wonderful we exchange the goings on in our daily lives which is an important insight to give each other of how life goes on but maybe we don't discuss AL enough?? I don't like to think any of us feel they can't come here when it all goes pear shaped. I'd love others to tell me what you think...

Chill I appreciate your thoughts yet I do think most on this thread really do support each other and are very concerned for eath other when things are difficult. I know we each have personal responsibility but I have only seen a great deal of support and friendship when things are going wrong for each other, and others reaching out to people they think are struggling.

I guess my question is 'Why do people feel unable to seek help - what is stopping them?

LBH said 'thank you dear Chill for noticing that it has been hard to come here when things are not particularly positive and upbeat with regard to alcohol. I think it is natural for threads to change over time and I realized last fall that if I ever had problems with relapse again I would not be comfortable talking about them here. I have been unsure as to why the thread has still been divided into weeks, its hallmark in the beginning, to ensure that people who struggled still had manageable goals. It seems I am not alone in fading away'

I guess as I am relatively new to this thread and I don't know the past, however I hate to think that people on here cannot be comfortable talking about their struggles, surely relapse is out there for all of us and something we need to support each other in. Me included in this, I am still fairly new to all this compared to many. I actually feel this is the place where I can be me and talk about my isues and problems with or without drinking being the central thing in my life. I am confused and maybe need to go and think about this. I feel this little corner of MWO is my lifeline yet my heart stops when I hear LBH says 'It seems I am not alone in fading away' - that really saddens me.

Dewdrop :h

[Chillgirl]

Focused February - Week 4

Dewdrop - thanks so much for your response, it's very encouraging to hear you do feel you can come here and spill your guts. I have on many many occasions and hope most of us feel the same. I was just concerned that because we don't focus specifically on daily sobriety those struggling might feel they don't want to admit when they slip. As a few have recently, I just want to know if we could do anything differently that might mean they could come here when considering to drink and be talked out of it. I had a few such occasions last year and went onto the army thread where I was immediately reminded why I didn't really want to. I am so very grateful to have had this support.

[Cassia]

Focused February - Week 4

Chill - thanks for the monthly round up and have an ace time in Dublin.

Dew - I think you touched on a very important ie, what is stopping people from seeking help. Why don't we address this is part of our march thread? Thoughts from the longer term members?
Also dew, feel free to pm me any time if u want a chat.

On an unrelated note, I was not awesome at footie tonight. Some may even say shambolic. I am looking forward to next week though.

Oh one other thing. I had a fight with my husband. I had a craving but it passed. However its been the first in a while. I am still struggling with forever. Things are working great right now and long may it continue. When did u all realise that actually forever ain't that bad?

X

[prancy]

Focused February - Week 4

I think one reason is that when you have decided upon drinking, you don't' want to have others point out to you how stupid that path is. You don't want to be talked out of it. Then you come back, head down. At least for me, that was part of it. I knew that drinking again was idiotic, but I wanted to.

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 4

Another interesting summary Chill, thank you!

New work is always appreciated by me Cassia. Hope the fight with your husband was just one of those normal, average, everday events.

I think I need to say something..........
By talking about everyday, usual events & activities IMHO is one way of focusing on sobriety. When we are drunk or eternally hungover as I was daily activities were curtailed, dismissed or simply ignored. I was crippled with anxiety & unable to get into my car & go anywhere (although I did find a way to get to the wine store). My work suffered, my miserable husband got even more miserable, life just wasn't happening as it should. Now that I am functioning like a 'normal person' I'm busier, accomplishing more, reaching out to old friends & making new ones, learning how to be a Mi Mom, etc, etc, etc. These things are my focus

I certainly hope anyone who comes here feels perfectly free to talk about anything they want to talk about. As a matter of fact I strongly encourage everyone to do just that. This is a virtual support meeting so we should all take advantage of that fact.:l

I don't go to AA, so I can't speak about that. But I have read many books suggested on some of the threads such as Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping - has helped & is continuing to help me. I've learned to tune in & listen to telecasts by some great motivational, spirtitual speakers. I've learned to fire up a smudge stick as the full moon gets near (no kidding). Point is, I think we can all pick up & use what we find here to help us & leave the rest.

Shut up Lav

[Guitarista]

Focused February - Week 4

Cassia;1065540 wrote: Chill - thanks for the monthly round up and have an ace time in Dublin.

Dew - I think you touched on a very important ie, what is stopping people from seeking help. Why don't we address this is part of our march thread? Thoughts from the longer term members?
Also dew, feel free to pm me any time if u want a chat.

On an unrelated note, I was not awesome at footie tonight. Some may even say shambolic. I am looking forward to next week though.

Oh one other thing. I had a fight with my husband. I had a craving but it passed. However its been the first in a while. I am still struggling with forever. Things are working great right now and long may it continue. When did u all realise that actually forever ain't that bad?

X

Greeting's Fabulous Focuser's, and Mental Maraudingly Marvellous Magician's and Mesmerising Mammoth MegastarMarcher's!

Hi Cassia,

Forever is a big word, and i still find it a bit overwhelming. I just do what i have to do now, for the foreseeable future. Even one day at a time if that helps you. Of course, living in the present, the now, the moment, is the ticket. If we live in the now, the moment, (which is forever, non?) there is less, or theoretically no dwelling on the past. The moment, the now, is all we have. This is how i try to think, to be, for what it's worth, and it makes a lot of sense to me.

(and i know you're NOT an accountant. You are a funky, hip, groovester, who know's no bound's)

Have a great time in Dublin Chilli! Give my love to Oney. x

[Guitarista]

Focused February - Week 4

Hi Lav!

Good to see you Prancy.

[Jolie]

Focused February - Week 4

Chillgirl - YOU ROCK! What an wonderful way to sum up the past month on this thread - and I've only just joined in here.

Awesome job! Look forward to more!

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 4

Hi G

You reminded me of a book recommended to my by our very own Dill a long while back - The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle...........another great book.

Prancy, there have been a lot of discussions about Acceptance around here & other threads.
When you are finally ready to accept the fact that you can no longer drink safely then the question is off the table & it all seems to get easier - at least that's how it worked for me.