Focused February - Week 4

[Chillgirl]

Focused February - Week 4

Good morning guys

Lav -is this baby hanging out for a March birthday I wonder?

Jolie - I'm delighted you explained your journey date and I think Papmoms response was wonderful. I don't want to nag but what Pap describes is a very common pattern for relapse and I just want you to see it. These family occasions soon become the norm AF, I remember last summer dreading going out with my Sisters who I used to get drunk with. This week when I saw them, they both had two drinks with lunch and never batted an eye over my slimline tonic.

Dewdrop - 6 months AF AND a sober date!! I too had my 1st sober date around my 6 month mark and got myself in a bit of a state about it, that few glasses of wine would have been such an icebreaker but at the end of the day, whoever is in my life will have to only know the sober me now! Congrats to you, will there be a 2nd date

I met Wanna last night for dinner and will head back into Dublin today to meet JC, Starty, Oney, Molly, Bandit and KTAB. Have a wonderful Saturday guys.

[Guitarista]

Focused February - Week 4

Great stuff Chilli! You must be having a ball with those good folk.

To folk's who are struggling a little with their respective AF time, Gratitude versus deprivation thinking. There's some essential reading on this subject in the 'Toolbox' thread.

Hi LBH. Congratulations on 12 day's. Keep it going!

[Stargazerlily]

Focused February - Week 4

What a great bunch of posts. Inspiring indeed!!

I remember when I first found MWO, it was in 2008, and I had woken up wanting to die, I felt so hungover, guilty, shamed, and scared. I did not want to live like this, had not wanted to for a long time. I found this site and thought about it, ordered the stuff, and started the supplements, not the medication. I did well for a time, felt healthy, learned alot about myself, then, maybe went out to dinner and had the infamous, "just one." After all, this program is about moderation, right? Roberta Jewell explained in her book, that she was able to moderate. It opened the door and I went back to my old ways, for the most part, but it would never be the same for me. I knew too much. But the lure of the "fun" of alcohol is so powerful. Now, I realize, that for me, I really need to be AF. I have had years and years of partying, it is time to stop and live. Did everyone know that Roberta Jewell had posted that she too is abstinent, totally. No more moderation for her either. So for alot of people, the allergy to alcohol is just too powerful. I don't feel we drink cause of psychological stuff, or trauma, etc. I think the allergy some of us have to alcohol is primary. One is too many, a thousand is not enough.

LBH, you described me as a warrior, I love it. Thanks. I have always loved your way with words, you are such a special person. :hWe are lucky to have you back on this thread for as long as you feel it is helpful or useful.

Cassia, Friday nights are the hardest for me too. But it is so great getting up on Saturday morning and feeling healthy and honest with myself.

Last night, (yes I am changing the subject) we saw the movie, "The King's Speech." I loved it. My husband fell asleep through some of it, but there were no car chases, naked women, and there was a story.:H So, if you like history, which I do, you might want to see it.

We went to a new restaurant last night and they had Marvelous Martini's. I looked at the menu, wanted one badly, but thought it through to the eventual outcome, for me. I would never have just one, I have had no pain in my right side, I would have to start all over again, I would toss and turn in torture all night, and hate myself in the morning. Yes, all of those thoughts got me through. I had flavored ice tea, and it was really delicious. So, I made it through another Friday. Yay for me.

Have a great AF Saturday. If you are struggling, please post. We want to be real here, in addition to sharing our lives.

[Rusty]

Focused February - Week 4

Good Morning Everyone!

Dewdrop, Congratulations on 62 days AF!!! Congratulations on the sober date, too.

Chill-thank you for the summary.....always fun to read but I do not deserve the attention you give me. Have fun with the gang. Whatever happened to McLibra, Chill? Is he McNowhere now? I am writing the season finale for the MWO Daily Mail so you can PM the details if they're too steamy for this forum.

Welcome, Prancy!

A cheery welcome back to Dill, LBH and Shelley. Shelley, I hope you are feeling better.

Dill-I feel badly that you felt that you didn't have anything to contribute. You have NO idea how much I missed your posts. I counted 8 quotes that you posted that I have saved. And, you have your own subfolder in my MWO folder on my laptop. Do you know how prestigious that is? It's almost as good as seeing your name in the phone book. HAHAHA. Just kiddin.' But I really do refer to them during the day when I'm working and need a lift.

Lav-I hope that stork isn't on the beach in Florida.

Star-LBH is right. You are a warrior. The depth of your concern and thought for others astounds me. I bet you have boatloads of friends.

A warm hello to G, Paguy, Rustop, Sooty, Cassia, Papmom, Cyntree, Mylife and anyone I may have missed.

SD-where are you? Check in please!

I am in a funk today and need to break out of this mood. So I will get to the gym. Have a wonderful AF day, everyone!

[Rusty]

Focused February - Week 4

Cassia, I re-read your post about being AF but feel like you're missing out on the atmosphere. I understand that. Maybe with more AF time under your belt you'll feel strong enough to be with your friends who drink so you can still enjoy their company. I admire your clear head and your strength in keeping the beast away. You are a wonderful addition to this thread and I read and re-read your posts quite a bit.

I have felt rather weak myself this week....and discouraged despite the fact that I was AF this week and worked out every day, I ate like a pig....and all the wrong stuff, so I didn't lose a pound! It's my own fault. I need to remember the concept of urge surfing. Those urges WILL pass.

I wanted to share something with all of you because I think it's important in our journeys to be around people who have given up alcohol and yet they don't feel like their social life has suffered. Last week, I met the wife of one of my clients. Jodi is 52 and a very attractive woman with a kind personality, and looks way younger than her years. Just 2 years ago, she was suffering from a fatal lung disease and was waiting for a double lung transplant. She was within hours of dying when she received the lungs of a 16-year-old boy who had been killed in a car accident. She now enjoys life to its fullest and can ski, bike, run, anything she wants to do. Before her transplant, she was a moderate drinker but she quit the day she got her new lungs. She told me that she got a second chance at life and she just could not see poisoning herself with alcohol. She and her husband have a very full social life in prosperous circles and while everyone else is drinking, she is sipping water. She said she doesn't miss alcohol at all. She is an inspiration to me.

[dill]

Focused February - Week 4

If you can imagine it, you can create it. If you dream it, you can become it. ~William Arthur Ward

Hello Focused Friends, it's nice to be back in the game!
Rusty, you made me feel so good with what you had to say. I am glad I have been a help to you. The favor has been returned many times. I'm sorry you are feeling down. You are an awesome person and an inspiration to others. Thanks for the story of your new acquaintance. She is one who knows the value of the life and time we have here on this earth. It is so important to live it to the fullest. Not like the walking dead that alcohol turns us into.

It's almost March! It "comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb." I'm looking so forward to the lamb part!

[rustop61]

Focused February - Week 4

Good morning focussed friends

I dont have time to post more than a few lines. Just wanted to let you all know how wonderful it was to log on and see all my old friends here again.

Here's to a wonderful March.

Rustop

[Rusty]

Focused February - Week 4

Dill, thank you thank you for your quote. You made me cry with your kind words but I feel so undeserving of such praise.

Someone here....maybe it was Cassia....asked what prevents people from asking for help? I will use myself as an example. My father's brother was an alcoholic and my dad saw alcoholism as a self-induced affliction caused only by the lack of self-control of weak people. So, I grew up hearing this all the time...and I really believed it until about 5 years ago. I thought I could handle this all by myself with no support. I didn't want to admit I had a problem because I am a successful businesswoman and I didn't want to ruin people's image of me that I was this confident, independent person. I was ashamed. I also know, from speaking with my sober for 9-years friend, that companies are never very understanding when it comes to addiction and alcohol-related lost work time, etc. I also wanted to keep my drinking problem a secret from people in the community since I live in a small town. I have seen how people gossip, and for the new people here on this thread....many years ago, before I ever drank, I met some people who were active in AA here and all they did at dinner was talk about people in their AA groups using first and last names....and it was not complimentary talk either. So much for anonymity. Fortunately, in those 3.5 years when my drinking escalated to out of control, I didn't miss many days of work. For me, I worked sooooo hard and so many hours (like 90 per week) to build up my business and be a leader in my field that there is just no way that I would let alcohol ruin it for me. This forum, and particularly this thread, and Baclofen, saved my life, my career, my family, from being destroyed by booze and I will forever be grateful!:h

[paguy]

Focused February - Week 4

Good Morning Friends and Warriors (aka Star!)

Happy unhung Saturday - it feels great to start off the weekend this way. I actually woke up at 4am, read a couple of chapters in my latest book (The Tricking of Freya by Christina Sunley) and now I am having my coffee getting ready for a 10 mile run this morning. My half-marathon race is just 2 weeks away and it give me something to really stay focused on.

Lav - The winds have really died down in our area so maybe the stork will be able to come in for a landing this weekend?

Rusty - I was really touched by the story you shared about the wife of one of your clients who had a double lung transplant and has a new outlook on life. That is so fantastic. I, in fact, have a friend who is a heart transplant survivor (12 years and still ticking) but unfortunately, he drinks like a fish. There have been so many times over the past several months when I've wanted to pull him aside and say Hey, wake up and smell the roses. You've been given a 2nd chance here. The 16 year old who was killed tragically to give you his heart wasn't so lucky. It's interesting to see how similar situations can be handled so differently.

Star - You really are amazing and an inspiration to many of us. Those fancy martini menus can be so darn inviting, can't they? But both of us know, it would never have ended with just 1 martini. I loved your perspective - 'One is too many, a thousand is not enough' - so true!

Well, I have to feed the dog and get to the gym. My iPod is loaded with some old disco dance tunes from the 70's and 80's so I'm ready for the treadmill!

Have a great Saturday, folks!

[Guitarista]

Focused February - Week 4

Rusty;1066431 wrote: Dill, thank you thank you for your quote. You made me cry with your kind words but I feel so undeserving of such praise.

Someone here....maybe it was Cassia....asked what prevents people from asking for help? I will use myself as an example. My father's brother was an alcoholic and my dad saw alcoholism as a self-induced affliction caused only by the lack of self-control of weak people. So, I grew up hearing this all the time...and I really believed it until about 5 years ago. I thought I could handle this all by myself with no support. I didn't want to admit I had a problem because I am a successful businesswoman and I didn't want to ruin people's image of me that I was this confident, independent person. I was ashamed. I also know, from speaking with my sober for 9-years friend, that companies are never very understanding when it comes to addiction and alcohol-related lost work time, etc. I also wanted to keep my drinking problem a secret from people in the community since I live in a small town. I have seen how people gossip, and for the new people here on this thread....many years ago, before I ever drank, I met some people who were active in AA here and all they did at dinner was talk about people in their AA groups using first and last names....and it was not complimentary talk either. So much for anonymity. Fortunately, in those 3.5 years when my drinking escalated to out of control, I didn't miss many days of work. For me, I worked sooooo hard and so many hours (like 90 per week) to build up my business and be a leader in my field that there is just no way that I would let alcohol ruin it for me. This forum, and particularly this thread, and Baclofen, saved my life, my career, my family, from being destroyed by booze and I will forever be grateful!:h

That's a beautiful post Rusty. Thank's for writing it.

I too, feel like i have another chance at life. My sobriety is an absolute blessing. My life has turned around 360 degree's, and i'm doing thing's now i used to dream of, but was too much of a lazy, 24/7 messed up drunk to follow through. A friend asked me today what i thought was the biggest difference between my life then, and my life now. One word stands out to me, and that word is ACTION.

A safe, sober, and happy week to all, and alway's great to read each and every person's post's here.

G-bloke.

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 4

Good morning Focused friends!

Yes, yes, yes the stork is about to arrive!!!!!!
My daughter texted me at 8:25 this morning, is in L&D now, looking forward to getting her epidural :H
I will keep you posted

Hello to everyone & sending wishes to all for a great Saturday!
Lav

[Guitarista]

Focused February - Week 4

Bravo Lav!

:h

[dill]

Focused February - Week 4

Hey Lav! I'm sitting here in a virtual waiting room for you to appear with the news!

[Jolie]

Focused February - Week 4

Chill - you are absolutely right! I know how easy it is to slide back down into the dark hole of despair and be back to drinking the way I was. My situation is that no one in my family knows the extent of how bad it was - since it was always done at home in secret. Can honestly say I never really made an ass of myself anywhere in public - sad but maybe if I had, I would have tried to start this journey sooner. Thank you for your gentle "naggin" and I'm seriously thinking of changing my plan next time we all get together - no reason why it should seem a big deal if I don't drink AL.

Dew - congrats on 62 days! quite an accomplishment!

Rusty - very inspiring story - her story is very special. IMO - all of us who can change our lives for the better by giving up AL have been given a 2nd chance at life. Don't want to think about my life continuing the way it was.

Have a great day everyone!

[Lavande]

Focused February - Week 4

Good evening all

Great news, my granddaughter has arrived safely, thank God!
Lily Marie weighed in at 8 lbs 7 oz & is 21" long.
Mom, Dad & baby all doing just fine.
Mi Mom is very happy

Hope everyone is having a great day too.
Lav