af daily monday 21 Feb

[bear73]

hey all - day off here for me - been catching up on posts and reading the 'why i hate moderating' on long term abs thread - inspiring stuff. Re-affirmed for me that i can't do it -but I really need to work on truly accepting it - have been reading about being high functioning alcoholic/high bottom drunk - this helps.

I think i can't relate to the drinking all day pattern as I don't do it .YET.Regardless alcohol has made me fat,unfit, more anxious and depressed,lose interest in looking after myself and my home and meant I am 'not there' a lot of the time(drunk or hungover).
I know this will only get worse too,like it's so good now hey?!

Anyway sat here with my coffee and toast, a load of washing on, washing to put away and washing up to do.Then shopping(for af drinks, more healthy food),next stop gym then spa for reading af material and chilling out. Healthy salmon and veg and baked potato for dinner.I usually turn spa day into stress - 'need to be up early,out of the house etc' - this time I'm taking my time ,doing the daily boring stuff I so easily ignore and then going to gym/spa.

This year I plan to decorate/declutter - been here for 8 years and decorated 1 room!
Anyway good day all to come - going to be here daily - you're such a strong group.

[greeneyes]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Morning bear and all AFers to come!

Bear, I'm wondering if decluttering ever ends. I believe I'll take your lead and do some boring stuff right off the bat. I hope you take P3's awesome post from your thread to heart. You know the saying.... "this ain't no dress rehearsal".

Zooming off and one thing is for sure!

[momof3]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Good Morning All,

Happy Presidents Day to those of us in the US. Hubby and kids have the day off but I am going to yoga and then working.

It was a very full and busy weekend. I had a friend over that I have not seen in over 8 years. I lost touch with her as my drinking escalated. It was so nice to reconnect and to have her spend time with my kids. (She does not drink so it got a little hard to be around her as my drinking progressed).

Bear, I read your post on the "why I hate moderating thread." It sounds like things for you have progressed in terms of alcohol consumption yet it sounds like you are not totally convinced that things are so bad that you should stop. Only you can make that decision and I do wish you all the best.

Speaking from my own experience, my drinking never escalated to the point of losing a job, getting a DUI, etc. From the outside, things looked great. I had a good job, great family, and friends. On the inside though, my life was an empty shell because it was ruled by drinking, wanting to drink, or trying to control what I drank. The friends I chose to spend the most time with were those who enjoyed drinking like me. Many days, i dragged myself around with a pounding head and a severe hangover. I just became more depressed and more anxious.

It took many attempts to quit or to moderate before I said enough. And then, I had to give it everything I had to stay AF. That meant putting my sobriety first and foremost. This was not an easy thing to do at first. Transformation in ones life is never without discomfort. The benefits on the other side though are profound.

So, I leave you with these questions Bear because you have been here so many times before speaking almost the same words. What is it that you need to do differently if you truly want to stop drinking? And, if you do want to stop drinking, what are you going to do to put being AF as the number one priority in your life? Commitment to being AF takes some courageous and audacious changes.

M3

[Jolie]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Bear - have a great time at the spa - I'm jelous!

My new favorite AF drink is cranberry-rasberry juice (light of course) with a splash of club soda! Same fizz as a diet soda but I like the taste a whole lot more!

Love my sleepy time vanilla herbal tea before bed as well - helps me sleep better I think.

Have a great day!

[momof3]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Hi Greenie and Jolie. Cross posted. Zooming out now.

[momof3]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Deleted this post because it was a duplicate of my previous post (not quite sure how I managed that)

[Mstall]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Morning all!

I am off work today for PResidents Day and had planned on going to yoga this morning. However the 15" of snow that fell yesterday and the 3 more expected today means another day in the house for me.

Instead i will be cleaning some more and putting in some treadmill time and shoveling off the exit off my patio so my poor old dog can get out and not get lost in the snow mounds.

I am thankful that i bought groceries on Saturday and went to my AA meeting! My 16 yo DD considered yesterday the longest day of her life since she was stuck at home with me. :H We watched movies and worked together putting up a tv stand for the treadmill. It's a job thats been waiting to be done for 6 months. I may conquer another old job on my to-do list today as well.

Have a wonderful Monday all! I am really enjoying my sobriety at the moment, hoping to hang onto that feeling for a long time.

[one2many]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Morning Guys!!!

Bear, p3 said it all in her post, I never drank during the day, I never puked, i never fell, I never passed out, in fact nobody knew I had a problem, but I did, rather I do...and I CANNOT mod, no way no how. Found if hard to accept at first but them is was like a weight off my shoulders...like someone took their foot off my head and let me come up for air....a peaceful easy feeling..cue song..



Greenie, My decluttering went deadly and I found it to be very cathartic

Shite phone BRB

[Lavande]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Good morning Abbers!

Good to see you back Bear & hope you can find a way to stick to your plan. Putting off the inevitable is something I did for way too long. I had to quit & I knew it. I have to tell you though I haven't regretted my decision to remain AF for even a second! It was what I needed & I finally found the fortitude to just do it!!!

Greetings Greenie, M3, Jolie, Oney & Mstall!
Sorry about the snow in the midwest - that sucks! It was supposed to snow/rain/sleet whatever here today but so far it's dry & that's OK with me

Oney, I'm thinking about renting a dumpster when it warms up a bit here to rid this house of the rest of YB's belongings. I've told him repeatedly to come get his shit out of here because I'm sick of looking at it but he's ignored me - what else is new? I have thrown away a lot already but removing the last traces of him would be cathartic for me

Well I hope the stork is kinder to my daughter today after yesterday's false alarm. That was supremely annoying & disappointing for her & for me as well.
Lets all think STORK together

Lav

[AAthlete]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Bear, thanks for getting us started this morning, and it's great to see everyone up and around so early!

For me, I was okay until I started drinking - but I suffered from the 'one is never enough' syndrome.... I could start out with a beer(s), but after one or two I would invariably switch back to vodka, as the beer was just enough to 'prime the pump,' and hell I had already starting drinking so I might as well do it right! I even got to the point where I would by NA beer just so that I would have an excuse for the booze smell on my breath, and would then mix vodka in with the NA beer. God it tasted like shit - but then again by that point I couldn't care less about the taste - it was all about the effect....

Wow, still makes me shudder to think about, but I have to remember what the insanity was like cause I never want to go back there..

Mstall, can't believe you guys got that much snow! I think we're supposed to get 3-5 inches today, but most of it has been rain up until now (thank God). Bought a new triathlon bike yesterday so cannot wait for the good weather to roll around. Now I just need to justify having three bicycles to my wife!

[LVT25]

af daily monday 21 Feb

STORK--STORK--STORK--STORK--STORK--STORK--STORK--STORK--STORK--STORK !!!!

Hubby has the day off today, but since I am finally starting to feel human again, I plan to start catching up on all of the work I didn't do last week. I also need to start taking a little better care of myself with exercise and eating right. Praying more and worrying less as well.

Bear, it's good to see you back here, you know you will get sound, no bullshit advice. I can really relate to Mom3 and her drinking history. I was very fortunate that terrible things never happened all those years of drinking, but bad things did. If I let myself think about it too much I have a ton of regrets. You can still save yourself that.:h

Have a great af week all!:h

[universal]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Hi guys,

Just checking in - feel like crap today - stupid headache is back. I really do hate these post accute withdrawals - looking forward to when all toxins are removed from my body!

Okay, off to lie down - going to be a lazy day for me and thats okay!

Love and hugs,
Uni

*** Bear - glad to see you back - I think you really have to come to the "jumping off point" where you make the firm decision that you cannot drink and then just throw your all into it. Maybe a treatment program or a day program would be an idea? Or even try an AA meeting in your area? Just a thought, that is what worked for me to finally accept that I am an alcoholic.
Good luck hon.

[Cassia]

af daily monday 21 Feb

Hi all,

Good day and thanks bear for getting us started. I also agree with everything m3 has said and if you have been here on a nimbler of occasions before then now is a good time to say no more. We will all do what we can to support u. What else is going on in your life that we keep going back to drinking out with moderation? Is there something that scares u about going af?

For me, the permanence of af scared te crap out of me. But now I almost don't care. Almost! My work colleagues were talking about the weekend and the hangover and I really don't miss that. I like being af. It's actually pretty awesome! I think we would all agree (nod with me folk!!)

Lav - why wait till the weather is better- throw his stuff out now!!!

Heya everyone else!!!

X

[greeneyes]

af daily monday 21 Feb

So nice to see everyone here today!

Lavande;1063691 wrote: Oney, I'm thinking about renting a dumpster when it warms up a bit here to rid this house of the rest of YB's belongings. I've told him repeatedly to come get his shit out of here because I'm sick of looking at it but he's ignored me - what else is new? I have thrown away a lot already but removing the last traces of him would be cathartic for me

Lavande (she says in her formal tone ), For MONTHS I talked about FH getting his stuff. Then I neatly packed it up and stacked it in the driveway. Waited. Then covered it with a tarp. Waited. Then FINALLY I paid a guy with a truck and trailer and we loaded it up and put it at the hole. It took 3 trips, but I was SO HAPPY!!! DO IT! Whether you realize it or not, it's rainin' on yer mojo! The queen has spoken.

[LVT25]

af daily monday 21 Feb

I just went back and caught up on yesterdays thread and since a few of you asked I thought I better give you an update on my sister--:thanks::thanks::h:l!

She is still in the hospital-going on 4 months this time. She has had so many abdominal surgeries that the surgeon said--no more. She recently developed another abscess which they placed a drain for which seems to be working so far. Her hubby got her a laptop and when I was back I got her back up on facebook, and she actually posted that she had a good day and was feeling stronger. So, that is a good sign. She was giving me a hard time about being sick and not being able to come see her. So, she continues to be one tough cookie!

Thanks so much for asking.:l:l