Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

[retteacher]

Everyone: I just read the last few posts of last week's weekly thread. There's so much gratitude there. DG, yes, it is difficult to capture the emotion & meaning of the meetings. I went to 3 good ones over the weekend. Last night we celebrated 2 annivs. Good stuff. I too am so grateful for the friends I'm making in AA. It's based on honesty which is very different than my old ways. Also, I'm a much better friend to my old normal-drinker friends. Sobriety just works. As for fun: I never knew how much fun I could have being sober. Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Hi everyone...

Very good to read your posts!!!! I've been to some really good meetings this past week. Not sure if you guys ever feel this way. Some of them are so powerful for me that it's really hard to come here and describe them. Trying to put the experience in "black and white" words just doesn't seem to carry the punch it did at the meetings!!!!

DG yes i find it is hard to put it in black and white even somethimes trying to explain how i feel ....i feel i find it easy now to really share from the bottom of my heart how it was for me, like y/day when i went big book studys reading the chapter another chance, i was just saying how the alcohol changed my brain chemistry in the way i was thinking in the end of my drinking, especially when i go out with friends, it was like the alcohol was making me feel big and powerful inside me i was not scared of anyone, and i can remember walking out of the resturant with two bottles in my hands thinking i had every right to do so the waiter catch up with me outside on the street, in the end i give him his 2 bottles back he could of easily called the police thats where my drinking days was leading me . This guy come up to me and said you really explain that well how the brain changes over a long time of drinking.
Take good care all.x

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Hi everyone -

I agree 100% DG, Mary, and Catch! I've gone to so many meetings I really want to share with everybody here, but often it is so hard to truly describe them. I find I am really enjoying connecting with others on a meaningful level. This is not something I've experienced much as an adult. The closest I can think of, is having a best friend in high school, and a few in college.

There was a new woman (just moved here) last night who I had a really good long conversation with after the meeting. Of course, I forgot to get her phone number! I told her about tonight's women's meeting, so maybe I'll see her there. In any case, it is wonderful to get to be truly honest, and hopefully learn to transfer these skills over to real life. Something as seemingly simple as talking to people I don't know - that's a big one for me! No wonder making friends was something I was never too great at!

Hope everyone has a great day and a great week!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Catch & Dance: In reading your posts above, I can see why I really needed face-to-face contact w/other alcoholics. I love MWO, but the level of responsibility & committment needed for becoming an acitve member of AA was just what I needed to stay sober. Last night's BB meeting was pretty crowded, & w/the exception of 2 brand-newcomers, I knew everyone else in the room. There's nothing like that for me in terms of the feeling of belonging. I know if I ever drank again (God forbid), I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. Maybe some people do that, but I don't think I ever could. There are a few people that have been struggling w/relapsing. Every time they come back into AA, they pick up a 24 hr. chip. It's important to keep that level of honesty & to allow the group to welcome you back. I certainly don't plan on relapsing, but if I ever did, I hope that I would get right back into it again.

Tomorrow, my sponsor is coming over for breakfast. I'm going to review Step 1 & officially take it w/her. As long as I keep admitting my powerlessness & life's unmanageability, that stinkin' thinkin' ("I'm not so bad.") won't get a grip on me.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

To any lurkers or newcomers that might read this:

2 years ago, I was just getting serious about sobering up. I had a bad drinking experience but was still drinking some of the time...though I knew in my heart that my drinking days were numbered. I was starting to go to AA meetings & was so scared & terrified. I just read the post I wrote above & marvel at how I've changed. I'm amazed that I can walk into a local AA meeting & see friends sitting there. 2 years ago, everyone was a stranger to me. I'm not sure how long it was before I started to feel I belonged, but if you're thinking AA might help you stop drinking, give a meeting a try. Yes, it's scarey for some of us. But, I couldn't be happier that I put my preconceived (& erroneous) notions aside:
-AA is only for guys.
-AA is only for hard cases.
-I'll never fit in.
-I'll never identify.
-etc.

I got over it.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Mary,
Thanks for the great reminder about our early days in AA. I forget how scared I was to walk in the door. And now...gee...I'm at a 630 am meeting every day. Amazing...or perhaps a miracle.

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Hi all,
Thanks Mary for starting the thread. I agree with what has been said about the human contact, face-to-face being second to none. And also the fellowship - I love to go somewhere where I know I can get a hug if I need one. Thats a big thing for me.

Hope everyone has a great week.
K x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

My sponsor came over this morning, & we took the first step together. I was surprised at how emotional I was. I spoke w/her about sometimes letting my stinkin' thinkin' get into my mind:
-I wasn't in a lot of rehabs.
-I didn't lose my family.
-I didn't go to jail.
-etc.

She said she sometimes had those thoughts well into her 2nd year in program. She'd share these doubts (am I really an alcoholic?) w/her sponsor. Those things I listed above are "yets." Had I continued to drink they would probably have occurred. They hadn't happened "yet."

Anyhow, it was pretty wonderful taking step 1 w/my sponsor. I have some reading to do on Step 2 & am anxious to get started.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Congratulations Mary! I think it is very neat how you are taking the steps again with your new sponsor. Different people seem to have different ways of going about it, and I'm looking forward to learning how multiple people approach the steps over time.

OK folks. ARE YOU READY??? Founder's Day registration begins MARCH 1 at 9AM!!! THAT's NEXT WEEK!!! Can you BELIEVE it????? I was just talking to one of my gal pals here locally last night and we are going to register and GO!!! It would be so fabulous if some of you went too. Just looking around the web site, there is so much AA history in Akron. I hope to meet some MWOers there!! Akron, Ohio - Birthplace of Alcoholics Anonymous

Kimberly, I too love that "get a hug" part. We're a pretty huggy bunch before and after meetings around here.

Have a great day one and all!

DG

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Hi everyone!!

Mary... thanks for your wonderful reminder , you and I sound a lot a like in our drinking thinking.
deep down I knew but the battle with myself wouldn't stop the fight for soooo long.

I need to stay vigilant as I approach 9 months, since you give me such good reminders that I can't get lazy, and the rewards of new , old friends after 2 years are coming!!

re: the hugs at AA, funny story, my mother works at a church that has a daily noon AA meeting and one day the coffee maker just came up to my Mom and said "can I have a hug", my Mom hesitated but said sure and she said it was a really great thing!! I thought that spoke of AA's heart!

hope all is surviving this winter... can't wait for spring!!!

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Hi everyone, I get so much out of everyone post...

You know when the saying goes you take the bandy out of the fruit cake, and what are you left with.....
well something happen to me the other day and am not sure if this has happen to me before but cant remember. well someone txt me the other day, i txt back, not got a reply back, but the next day i thought i got a reply txt back from this person the person on the other end was confused so they rang me, to make sure i was alright. I was so confused in my head, trying to explain this is very hard but what i was reading was different to what was going on in my head. It like am seeing different words to what i am reading, it also like that with numbers, because i have catch myself out in work giving out the wrong change, dont want to tell no one in work....if i was drinking i would not of known any wiser, not sure what to do ! How do i explain to the doctors that am seeing different words it like am in a daze.

catch22 x



.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Catch: I'm not sure you even need to see a doctor. Maybe. Just explain the best you can. That said: What I'm finding in sobriety is that I do make many mistakes. They are sober mistakes because I'm human. I think it was Einstein who said that 25% of what we do is going to be a mistake. I've burned things in the oven, misplaced countless things, miscounted my change, had mishaps w/my car, etc. It's normal. When I was drinking, I was totally paranoid about mistakes. I was very afraid of being discovered drunk &/or hungover. Now, when I make a mistake, I take it more philosophically. I was just talking about this w/my grandson this morning. He was reminiscing about the time I forgot to prick the baked potatoes & they exploded in the oven & set off the fire alarm. I'm just glad that I'm sober when I do these things. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Hi Cherbear! That's a great story about your Mom and AA hugs. I guess I should be more aware that after a couple years of AA, huggin' all the time has become very natural for me - maybe not so for the rest of the world!

Seems appropriate to resurrect one of my favorite Youtube videos of all time. I've started a video in my head for MWO. So far, Phil is the only one in it but I'm hoping for more someday! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4[/video]]YouTube - Free Hugs Campaign - Official Page (music by Sick Puppies.net ) (I wonder how many dirty minded will click the link just to see exactly what sort of video I'm thinking of... :H)

Mary, I really love what you wrote about making mistakes before when drinking, and now when sober. There is a HUGE difference for me too. I was always SO paranoid that somebody would figure out I was drinking / how drunk I really was. Mistakes were a tragedy as far as I was concerned. I thought ALL of them were due to drinking. Little did I know. It really is nice today to just chalk mistakes up to human error and move on.

Catch, of course if you think something beyond the norm is going on then certainly talk with your doc!!! :l Making some mistakes or forgetting some things is pretty normal I think. Mary, that's interesting what Einstein said about 25%.

We discussed the Daily Reflections reading today at the morning AA meeting.

MYSTERIOUS PARADOXES

Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength
arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss
of one's old life as a condition for finding a new one.
A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46

What glorious mysteries paradoxes are! They do not
compute, yet when recognized and accepted, they reaffirm
something in the universe beyond human logic. When I
face a fear, I am given courage; when I support a
brother or sister, my capacity to love myself is
increased; when I accept a pain as part of the growing
experience of life, I realize a greater happiness; when
I look at my dark side, I am brought into new light;
when I accept my vulnerabilities and surrender to a
Higher Power, I am graced with unforeseen strength.
I stumbled through the doors of A.A. in disgrace,
expecting nothing from life, and I have been given
hope and dignity. Miraculously, the only way to keep
the gifts of the program is to pass them on.

What really stood out for me was the part of the line I bolded. As much as my old life in my later drinking years was not much of a life at all, and I didn't want to live like that any more, it was still scary to let go of it. And I had to totally let go of it in order to grab onto my new sober life. It was easy to think of letting go of the hangovers. It was NOT easy to let go of the idea of not having a social lubricant. It was easy to imagine not having stupid and alcohol fueled arguments with my husband any more. It was not so easy to imagine how I would cook dinner without a glass of wine by my side. It was fun to imagine not getting falling down, rip roaring drunk any more. It was NOT fun to try to imagine how I would ever have fun without drinking.

But...

I had to let go of ALL that stuff from the old life as a condition of finding a new sober life. Even the stuff that was hard to let go of. Even the stuff that was inconvenient to let go of. Even the stuff that SCARED me to let go of.

I've been skydiving one time in my life. A tandem jump where I was attached with equipment to an experienced sky diver. I will never forget what it felt like to walk out of that airplane. That's sort of how it felt letting go of my drunken, guilt and remorse ridden familiar life, and grabbing onto something completely new and different for me.

I don't know where the courage came from to do that. (well, yes I think I do. ) But I'm grateful to be here on this side of it.

DG

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

I love that vid DG!! Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside

K x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Kimberley;1065076 wrote: I love that vid DG!! Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside

K x

Me too K - me too. :l