Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

DG: The words you bolded certainly apply to me. I do feel that I've lost my old life. I'm amazed at how much more effortless life is wo/AL. I get much more accomplished w/a whole lot less effort. I still have ups & downs, but now I don't have to feel like I need a crutch. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Hello all! I'm very excited that one of my sponsees is back and wants to dive back into Step work. I love that - it means I get to re-work the steps right along with her. Plus she's a nice and fun person. Life is good.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Everyone: Tonight's discussion was on denial. Whew! There was a lot to say about that. Having just done my step 1 work w/my sponsor earlier this week, I was able to say alot about denial. I was so glad to be there for that discussion. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Mary, I'm really glad you mentioned the topic of denial. I was the queen of that for SO many years.

1. I was not an alcoholic. I just had bosses/husband/family/customers who pissed me off. They were all impossible. YOU would drink TOO if you had to deal with all these trouble makers every day!

2. I just needed to try harder next time to control it.

3. As long as I could push through those horrible hangovers and do my job, then everything was fine.

4. I didn't drink (very much) and drive...at least not very often. (OMG the risks I have taken!!!!! I am SO LUCKY!)

5. I'm not hurting anyone but myself.

Etc.

I like that I can come here and go to AA meetings and stare at the truth for a while. Keeps me out of the river.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

DG: Me too. Regarding denial, I didn't identify as an alcoholic for quite a while when I first joined AA. I don't know ANY normal drinkers who drank like I did, so I don't know what I was thinking hanging on to the idea that I might not be an alcoholic. Thank God I did admit it, because I'd be out drinking right now if I didn't. For step 1, I went over all the times I drank to excess & made my life unmanageable. It was a real wake-up call: vomiting, black-outs, hangovers. That's not normal. I still get into denial when I hear some people speak about losing everything. I didn't (thank God), but I did lose my integrity & self-respect. Those aren't small losses. I'm just getting them back now. Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Feb. 21 - 27

Hi Everyone,
Finding it hard to get on here ! but am here today, Thanks for your replies, I did share this at one of my meetings and after the meeting someone come up to me and just said thanks for sharing what you did, i did say i feel stupid going to my GP but the person seem to put my mind at ease so will book appointment with GP maybe it could be am Dyslexia.

I have to be careful with denial, with myself and my own feelings..... sometimes i catch myself out being in denial.
The thing is i drank on all my feelings and emtionals pressing them down ( back log) not feeling any pain anymore, so i hurt myself to feel the pain, crazy i drank to feel no pain, but i hurt myself because i wanted to feel pain. Today am learning how to feel the pain the way it should be...I remember when my one to one sessionwhen she said to me write down your feelings as soon as you want to have a drink but i could not write down how i felt i didn't know how i felt there was notthing there because i had to much back log.

For the first time i text my step10 resentment over to my sponsor yesterday had to mu mother inlaw is a control freak in MY house i mean in My own house!!!!, it is a good way doing it straight away... she text me this morning to see how i am well i feel a lot calmer but the funny think is i said i have to pour this red wine down the sink, but instant i hide the bottle of red wine behind my daughter birthday cards it like old behaviour without drinking, crazy i know. she did say we need to be in fit spiritual condition to deal withit .It creeps up on us unaware.... canning and buffling alright.

I think i said enough it hard i got a friend next to me that does not stop talking finding it hard.

Take care all.x :l