AF Daily~Thursday Feb 24

[bear73]

AF Daily~Thursday Feb 24

mmm cheese me too - I have some cheddar with chillis in at the moment - lush and I love St agur and brie with truffle butter mmmmmstill have blue cheese in fridge from Christmas (unopened?!)

Finished bit early today as I've got evening meeting and early morning meeting tomorrow.
Just stocked up on french roast coffee,lipstick,vitamins and papaya - oh and 2 krispy kreme donuts!

Quit dates that's an interesting one for me - I came here because kept failing at stopping smoking due to smoking when i was drinking socially - someone i knew gave up smoking by quitting booze for 3 months and i thought - i couldn't do that - then i thought well it's not good that that idea scares me so much! I was surrounded by heavy drinkers, social life basically consisted of gettign hammered n the same place with the same people.

I also missed gym at weekends due to hangovers/felt ill every weekend/went out at 4pm one year on my birthday rather than the full day I had planned/put on 2 stone over last 9 years - basically due to booze,resultant bad eating and lack of exercise.
I also got worsening depression and anxiety.

Since then I've toyed with mods and abs - I'm not good with focusing too much on the idea of really committing publicly to never drinking again(as I worry I'll deliberately sabotage myself and fail) .
I KNOW I can't drink to be the best I can be.

Today I am on day 5 - previously I have done 2 months af twice - longest I've ever gone.
I am 10000% better mentally, emotionally, financially and physically with no alcohol.

Yet I still haven't deep down ACCEPTED that I can't ever drink again - I KNOW IT but accepting it and coming to terms with it are 2 different things to me.
I don't feel ok with the idea or happy about forever - but I guess that is normal - I have a history of lapsing at stopping smoking,losing weight, starting running programmes etc.
For now my focus is on today and how much better I feel (already!) and keeping it to myself to stop my inner saboteur popping up.

[AAthlete]

AF Daily~Thursday Feb 24

Bear, keep up the great work. This really is a journey that we are on, and it doesn't happen all at once. For me, I really did have to make that commitment to never drinking again before I could truly get sober. I found that not doing so always left that door open just a little bit in my mind, and when a challenge would pop up in my life it was easy to open that door all the way...

Thank you for sharing though - and you're never along in this.

[AAthlete]

AF Daily~Thursday Feb 24

F*CK THIS IS HARD!!! Just got back from my swim class, and while I don't hate IT I am having a hard time not HATING MYSELF! This is me letting my insecurities fly their true colors, and being humble is trying its hardest not to fly out the flipping window!!

Okay, deep breaths....

Somehow, someway, I've apparently forgotten almost all I ever knew about freestyle swimming. The real issue for me, though, is I've run into something that physical talent alone can't push me through.. Running, cycling, etc. always came easy because for better or worse I've got a big aerobic engine that allowed me to perform well even when I didn't train to my fullest. Won't work this time though - I have to put in the effort if I want to be successful.

Okay, pity party is over, as in the grand scheme of things this is pretty minor. Also, my brain likes to block out all the positives that came out of class as there was noticeable improvement from last time.

[Cassia]

AF Daily~Thursday Feb 24

Aa - if you can put in the effort o keep your sobriety then you can do this! Keep at it! X

[Lavande]

AF Daily~Thursday Feb 24

Probably couldn't swim to the other side of the pool anymore myself AA. I love the water but I think my coordination deficits are a huge problem :H

Great news about your sister LVT!
I listened to that Doreen Virtue telecast too a while back - very nice.

Marshy, anything can happen as we age ~ develop new allergies, lactose and/or soy intolerance, etc. That's why I wish I really could stay 29 forever

Must get back to work for now.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily~Thursday Feb 24

AA, I remember cycling with a group of much more experienced friends. They would hammer me. They'd be circling at the top of a hill while I was giving my all to go one mile an hour up the climb. They'd call out "You OK?" And I'd be hating the ride, my bike, them, me and thinking "Those feckers, I'm never riding with them again, why the feck to they call me to ride, I can't keep their fecking pace," ... and so on. Thank goodness for them making me keep up as I eventually kicked arse in the races.

So... put your big boy pants on and get in the pool.

STORK!

[Lavande]

AF Daily~Thursday Feb 24

Greenie,

Like oney says - feck the feckers :H

My daughter emailed me & said she is sitting home eating everything she can think of to induce labor. She's researched & compiled a long list - hope she leaves room for those cookies :H

Flooding rain & high winds (60 mph) moving in for tonight & tomorrow. Who the feck ordered that???? I'd better go out & put the life vests on the chickens :H

[jennyneric]

AF Daily~Thursday Feb 24

Chickens in life vests. . . .LOL! Well today was ok, my boss started getting very agitated with me around 2 and I really started to wonder if it was me not remembering what he said or if he was really changing things at the drop of a hat. . . I said some thing to my other boss about being yelled at since 2 and we laughed and I went on. . . .well around 5:30 my boss text me (I was off work and driving home) asking who had yelled at me. . .I text back "huh?" and he text "(so and so) said that you said someone had been yelling at you "since 2" and I wanted to know who so I could fuss at them" . . . now I don't know if he was kidding or what so I text "humm wonder who that was" and he said "you think about it and get back to me" and I said "I will try to job my memory".

Now I'm rethinking. . .is he mad. . .is he kidding?. . .did he know I was talking about him or does he really think it was just someone? I'm nervous about dealing with this tomorrow. Hate this.

Just wanted to check in. Have a great night! At least tomorrows Friday and my boss is out of town till next Tuesday so maybe I won't have to deal with it. Fingers crossed!

[Determinator]

AF Daily~Thursday Feb 24

Happy late night ABerooooos!

Jenny, thanks for the kickstart

AAthlete, I remember you posting after the couch incident you described today. I remember it like it was yesterday, wow. I felt to bad for you at the time, and now I'm so happy for your sterling track record.

Marshy, thanks for the tip on the cheese. I like really good gourmet cheeses very much. Just had a fresh assiago last week (it's soft and white). fabuloso!

well, here in yet another hotel room. Had a good AF dinner, an odouls and then....... drumroll please....
a huge piece of chocolate cake!. ughh! hahahaa, so I'll be ready for bed in a few days. boing boing boing

be well loves