af daily sunday 27 feb

[Doggygirl]

af daily sunday 27 feb

Hi Uni!

EnglishWriter77;1067002 wrote: Hi DG,

I AM having the hardest time accepting there won't ONE day again be a time I can enjoy a glass of wine with friends or celebrate getting a new job (how silly of me!)

EW

I struggled with that one too. Just to bust up that little fantasy, I thought one day about when I EVER had "a" drink. One. I honestly cannot think of a single occassion in 30+ years of drinking nearly every day where I only had ONE drink. In fact, nothing made me nuttier than to be in a situation where "one" was the appropriate number. (i.e. a lunch where ONE glass of wine was served) I did nothing but jones over getting MORE. Sneak more from the bar? Have a flask in my purse? Leave early and head for the nearest bar/liquor store / home? ONE was not something I could do, and pretending to do ONE was extremely agitating and frustrating.

So no, I no longer entertain ANY fanstasies about "enjoying one." I never ever did that, and I know better than to think I ever will. (barring possible meds or something - I'd rather just abstain than try to TAKE meds to drink safely.)

I am finding new ways to celebrate. Things that make me feel WAY better than getting drunk, feeling all the guilt and shame and remorse that inevitably go with drinking for me, and are WAY better than a hangover. New shoes are just one example of a great way to celebrate something.

I hope you will continue bringing up these kinds of thoughts so we can talk about other thoughts that serve AF living a little better.

DG

[EnglishWriter77]

af daily sunday 27 feb

Thanks DG,

It is always comforting to read that other people have done all the things we only ever thought WE did, sneak a drink from bar, or hide a bottle in the laundry basket!!!!!

Yes I do understand I can never have just one now or even try and think one day I can. It's just a bit like giving up an old 'friend' (misnomer!) or waving goodbye to being a normal adult.

I am going to try and do some volunteer work until I find a new job and I have a LOT of screwed up finances to keep me busy

EW

[Doggygirl]

af daily sunday 27 feb

EnglishWriter77;1067036 wrote: It is always comforting to read that other people have done all the things we only ever thought WE did, sneak a drink from bar, or hide a bottle in the laundry basket!!!!!

Oh man you are NOT kidding about that!!! There were so many things I thought I was the only one who did them. I really was shocked to find out that nearly every alkie out there has done the exact same nutty stuff I did. At first that was very unsettling news, but now I find it comforting to know it's the AL talking.

Another big dawning realization for me is that *everyone* doesn't drink like a fish. In fact lots of business events where I used to get embarrassingly shit faced, I thought *everyone* was drinking a lot. Come to find out, us heavy drinkers were in the minority, and lots of people don't drink at all at these events. The heavy drinkers stick out like a sore thumb so now I know what I used to look like.

There are many many people living very full and happy lives without AL. You can be one of these people too. Not all of them are recovering alkies. Many of them are people who just don't care for the effect of AL. They are actually the ones reacting "normally" to a toxic substance.

I think it's FABULOUS that you plan to do volunteer work until you figure out the job situation. I find that type of work very rewarding and it helps me get outside of my own crazy mind. This is a good thing!

DG

[papmom3]

af daily sunday 27 feb

DG- my thoughts and prayers are with you, Mr DG and your poor doggie. I know intimately what you have just gone through!! May the digestive gods show mercy today and tonite!!

EW-It is OK not to use wine or any other AL as part of being grown up or celebrating. I too couldn't think of my life that way for a long time but as DG said, once I accepted it it was very freeing. I don't have to think at all now except what do I want in my cranberry juice-seltzer with lime or lemon . volunteering is a great idea and you may be surprised at what comes about as a result. give a big hug to your doggie for me and keep him/her close to you in these tough times.

Well I am obviously procrastinating about the taxes. crap.
BBL.
:l

[Doggygirl]

af daily sunday 27 feb

papmom3;1067054 wrote: crap.

That word has taken on a whole new meaning for me.

We need a :crap: smilie. Except that what I have in mind would consume too much bandwidth I think.

OH. I guess we DO have a :crap: smilie!!!! now I feel so much better! The new washer and dryer are getting a real test today....

DG

[momof3]

af daily sunday 27 feb

Good Morning All,

Happy Sunday. It was a great day yesterday. My middle daughter won 3rd place All Around (all events) at her gymnastics meet amongst some tough competition. She has already qualified for states and I think she will have a strong showing there. Did not get home til 10:00 though (late for me) and to sleep til 12:30 so I am dragging a bit today.

Sarasmiles and English Writer, welcome back. EW, it is so true that coming to terms with saying goodbye to alcohol for good is like grieving the death of a friend or loved one. There are the stages of grieving, denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance, etc. It is a normal and natural process. The hardest part for me was accepting that I could never drink again and commiting to being AF. SS, it was also important to me to admit this to my loved ones. Without the commitment and public outing (to a very small group), I would have been leaving the back door open to letting alcohol creep into my life again. If eliminating alcohol from my life forever is all I have to do to live a healthy life, I consider myself very lucky. I think about the many people I know who have chronic and life threatening illnesses that will progress regardless of what they do. All I have to do is to never pick up a drink again.

Greenie, I have always wanted to go kayaking...being one with the water and surroundings and getting some good exercise to boot.

I imagine Lav is having a wonderful time with baby Lily.

DG, Sounds like you are up to your elbows in dog shit. Not a very nice way to start the day.

Papmom. Sorry to hear about those little fish.

Cassia, Thanks for sharing the story about your Uncle. What a wonderful, powerful role model to have had in your life. My dad was (and is) one of my heroes and he was an alcoholic. He had stopped drinking well over 20 years prior to his death though.

Hi Uni, Bear, and all to come. Rock this AF Sunday.

Can't wait for the Academy Awards tonight. Love, the red carpet.

M3

[papmom3]

af daily sunday 27 feb

DG- You are SO funny!! I think the fumes have gotten to you!!

Dr. Mom-eloquent as usual. You are so wise and I love reading your posts!!
Fish are still hanging in-at least they were an hour ago. I kind of get scared to walk in the room now!!

Lunch then taxes. In that order.

[papmom3]

af daily sunday 27 feb

Oh!! M3!! Congrats to your daughter!! That is indeed a huge accomplishment!! She'll do great at states!! so exciting!! My sister was an accomplished gymnast in high school. I think I still have her second place at states pic. Unfortunately she broke her ankle senior year in the last meet of the regular seaon. Finished her routine however. tough girl. never participated again however. It was a bad break and she chose a college that only had a club team and she wasn't interested in competing at that level. She can still do a cartwheel and probably a handspring tho at 49 yo!!!

[momof3]

af daily sunday 27 feb

Hi P3

Crossed posted. Wow, very cool about your sister. I wonder how my daughter's gymnastics life will unfold.

I am putting off taxes too. Not good. I vow to make this the first year in several that I DO NOT file for an extension.

[Lavande]

af daily sunday 27 feb

Congrats to your daughter M3!

It's warmish today here papmom but rain moving in tonight - look out!

Had a nice visit with my daughter & granddaughter this morning. The baby slept thru the entire visit.


EW, hope things look up for you very soon.
Greetings DG, Greenie & everyone today
Lav

[Doggygirl]

af daily sunday 27 feb

:crap:

Just had to say it again! Although my last load of throw rugs is at least in the washer now. Then on to the regular weekend laundry!

:crap::crap::crap:

M3, FABULOUS for your daughter! How exciting!!! When are the states? And I too love the wisdom of your posts and am so glad to be on this journey with you.

P3, :b&d: GET ON THOSE TAXES!!!!!

Lav, what a beautiful baby!!! LilyLilyLilyLily!!!! What does EB think of his new cousin?

:crap: beckons....

DG

[greeneyes]

af daily sunday 27 feb

Quickie fly by! Lily has the prettiest little lips EVER!!!

[papmom3]

af daily sunday 27 feb

Oh she does doesn't she greenie!!
Nice pic Lav. Can't wait for the rain to get here-never did get out to shovel today.

I'm DONE!! TAXES ARE DONE!! And I'm getting $300 more than last year!!!!:happy::happy: We need a money smilie!!

[EnglishWriter77]

af daily sunday 27 feb

Congrats on the baby!

Just a fly by to say hi and thanks to everyone for today's words of wisdom and support.

I NEED to get some sleep tonight so see you allin the morning.

Nu-night

EW

[Determinator]

af daily sunday 27 feb

Wooooooo! happy Sunday ABeroooos

extra hugs for Cassia XXXXx and for those cleaning up liquid doggy waste, eeeeeew!

EW, getting cocky after a period of AF is still a big challenge for me as well. My wife's mantra to me is "don't get cocky" really!

well, I'm a person of radical contrasts it seems. yesterday I attended a Systema class (Russian military martial art) outside in a foot of snow for 3 hours. I was wet, frozen but fought through without a moment of calling it quits. came home exhausted and happy. and then today i actually shed a couple tears watching (you wont' believe this) 'toy story 3'. WTF? i guess my warrior side needs a big softie side to balance things out. at least I've left my drunken dumbass side in my wake where it belongs.

Lav, what a total cutie!

be well everyone