Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: Last night's BB meeting was very relevant to me. We read 2 short stories, both from women, in the section of the book on higher bottoms. The stories were all about:
-hiding the drinking.
-not admitting to being an alcoholic.
-having alcohol gradually take over your life.
-keeping up a front.
-not losing everything (except for your self-respect).
-etc.

Every story has relevance for me, but these particular ones were just what I needed to see. It was a good meeting w/some great discussion.

One guy talked about the fact that whenever he did anything around the house, he always drank while doing it. I used to do that.
-clean the garage: drink.
-cook: drink.
-garden: drink.
-etc.

Did I think drinking made everything easier? The stinkin' thinkin' just went on & on. There was not logic.

For me, sobriety is freedom.
-freedom from the vicious cycle of preparing to drink, drinking, & recovering.
-freedom from lying & hiding.
-freedom from destroying myself.
-freedom from self-hatred.

It's hard for me to believe that I've escaped all that misery. All it took was the willingness to put the drink down & commit myself to AA.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

I just read the last post in last week's weekly thread on denial & feeling our feelings. I too drank to push my feelings down. I guess I was afraid I'd have to do something about them. I'm finding that feelings are not fatal...even the so-called negative ones. I can live through them. Step 10 is a great way to get past our bad feelings: guilt, anger, fear, etc. I'm finding myself doing a step 10 many times during the day.
-When I clear something up w/someone (as long as I do it in a non-judgemental way): that's a step 10.
-When I tell someone the truth about how I feel (again nonjudgementally): that's a step 10.
-When I say "no" when I don't want to do something: that's a step 10.
-When I apologize: that's a step 10.
-etc.

I'm finding that step 10 is a way for me to move forward w/a clear mind. I didn't learn how to do this earlier in my life, but I'm not too old to learn now.

Mary

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Good Morning Mary and all!

Great start to the new week and soon new month,
I sure can relate to what you posted.
especially the part where I was hiding the drinking, and keeping up a front and drinking while I did everything .... after about 4pm, that way I could convince myself that I wasn't alcoholic.
I can remember holding a glass of wine while watering the garden, how many times did I set it down in the dirt and couldn't find it!! until the next day. good grief.
Also, had a glass of wine with me when I put the kids to bed... I am ashamed of that especially, my sweet kids never said a thing but I wonder what was going on in there heads.

The freedom of the mind games is what I cherish now, the obsession is less, I can't say completely gone as I am still working on things. I no longer count the hours and minutes until 5 pm! I thank God for that especially.
Thanks for the step 10 reminders, I am on step 8 so I haven't done a lot of reflection on step 10 but I especially know that now I am doing that a little more automatically.

Today I am trying to find a fitness club or yoga on this island I live on now, Need to go back to my healthy routines that I had when I lived in the big city.

Have a great sober week all.

[universal]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

I am so excited and feel so free right now. I just did step 3 with my sponsor. What an amazing feeling overcame me when I gave my will over. Like a huge weight was just lifted from my shoulders! So happy right now, want to scream it to the world!

I now have to start on my grudge list - this will be a long one........but it's okay because I know I can do it now and I know that I am not alone and I can pray for the strength to finish taking out the garbage.


Uni

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Universal: Congratulations! I'm working on step 2 w/my sponsor. Having her makes all the difference in the world. The steps cannot be done alone...they aren't designed that way. You sound like you're on cloud 9 as well you should sound. Step 3 is a biggie. My own will is what kept me drinking on & on. Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Hi Everyone...

Uni, got to say step 3 was very special for me with my sponsor, she lit a candle and we knelt down in her house and said the step3 pray together and i felt really emotional and had tears in my eyes. The next day we met up and went to church and did the same thing and i felt the light inside me, at that moment in time i wanted it to last 4 ever. The strength i got that from my faith, it took time, but i got it now, and the amazing thing is that it keeps on growing and growing inside.

catch22 x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Uni & Catch: It is so difficult to capture in words the feelings that these spiritual experiences give us. However, you both did convey the wonderful step 3 experiences you had. It's so easy to get caught up in life's daily trials. Your spiritual experiences gave me a gift & short reprieve from the humdrum of life.

There was a seventh anniv at last night's meeting. The recipient of the medallion teared up when she accepted it. I knew exactly how she felt, because we can't get & stay sober alone. It's a fellowship, & she gave credit to the group for helping her through tough times.

Nice.

Mary

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Hi all,

Thanks to Mary for starting the thread. I picked up my 2-month chip today. I haven't made it to 2 months sober since i lost my job about a year ago. I still haven't got a sponsor, although I am on the lookout, but something about AA is working anyhow.

Hope everyone is having a lovely week!
K x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Just catching up on things for this week and just want to thank everyone for your wonderful uplifting posts. Just what I needed tonight!!! First smile on my face in a few hours - very emotionally difficult afternoon. Good to know I can handle it sober. It was funny - on the way home I thought "if ever I should WANT to drink, now would be a good time." I thought about the taste of wine and made a huge face. Yuck. I thought long and hard about some serious sweets though. Didn't cave to that demon either. Thank God for AA and MWO. And good supplements.

Congratulations Uni!!! I'm so very happy for you. :l

Kimberly, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! :yougo: I hope you find the right person to be your sponsor soon! Wish I could have been there to watch you pick up your coin.

Catch, I love your description of taking Step 3 with your sponsor. Twice! How cool!

Mary, I always love your summary lists. Those are me too.

I've been to some good meetings so far this week. Probably the best was an "open topic" discussion where a man with many years sobriety, but a relatively new wife AND a surprise live in step son+family talked about alcohol in the house. He has never allowed AL in his house since sobering up years ago. However the step son and son's wife brought AL in and now they drink every night. It's bothering him. He was thinking that it SHOULDN't bother him because of all his sober years. There were lots of great comments from the group about AL in the home. Some of the best for me were:

* We all have a right to decide our own policy about AL in the home, and should not feel bad about it.
* The man who relapsed after 17 years said he got complacent about things like no al in the house, and he said he has gone back to his original policy of no al in his house.
* We are not "weak" or asking others to accomodate us when it's OUR HOUSE we're speaking of. There are a variety of non-drinkers who live in AL free homes. Not just alkies do this. We don't have to feel bad!
* Another man spoke of his wife who is a normie, and who kept AL around during his numerous attempts to get sober. The longest he made it with al in the house was 6 months. They no longer have AL in the house. He says it made a lot of difference for hin getting to the 1 year mark recently without AL "in his face" everyday.

Anyway...very practical stuff and very good to hear from the older timers. Bottom line? Never get complacent. I don't care for people drinking in my house anyway so no booze here is quite fine by me.

DG

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Hi everyone

Kimberley.... well done on 2months AF, am so glad that something about AA is working for you it funny that something, will become something, if you know what i mean !

Reading your post DG...... yesterday my hubby brought 4cans of super beer, he put it in the fridge still in the little black bag, i knew straight away what was in that little black bag, after dinner i when to a meeting come back, what was the first thing i did was to look straight in the fridge just to see if the little black bag was in there, but it was not. I think deep down my hubby knows am not ready to have any AL in the house every day, and to be honest i know am not ready because if he started to buy AL every day and started drinking in front of me it wont take long before i say to myself i might just test the waters out, just to see how it taste, and feels again theres no harm in that is there this time round it might be different. ( but i know better now ! )
It going to be my friend birthday this saturday she invited me to go out with her and all the girls to a place called Romford, were they will be doing lots of drinking, I had to text her back and said i cant go,( if it was for a meal in a resturant i would go) she ok about it, but do i really want to go out with people that are going to get pissed out of there heads, that will really piss me off straight away, and know what will happen i cant trust myself i still have to keep myself safe.
My friend in my fellowship christan group is in hospital again, i would not know where to begin she has got so many things wrong with her because of AL, am not sure how long she got, i know she not got that long, she a really fighter, she so tiny as well......

Take care all and God bless you ALL:l

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Simple things.....

So grateful y'all are "here"this week. I'm on the road and made one meeting this week.
This morning I was thinking how long it took for me to finally make it to the Monthly Abstinence Group. And now I take it for granted. That could be dangerous thinking. I need to remember every day that I am an alcoholic, same as yesterday, today will be no different and so on from one of the readings.
Have a great day.

[universal]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Hi everyone,

Yes, I can't have Al in the house either or it will stare me in the face. And as for getting complacent? That is also a dangerous road as far as I am concerned.

Tonight is my home group which I always look forward to. It is a speaker meeting but I just love the acceptance I get from everyone there. I will be picking up my second one month chip after my rough go a month ago. I'm back on track now.

I went to a great meeting the other day where the topic was depression. It was a very small meeting and I was so glad to discuss something that I struggle with and everyone there struggled as well. There was no judgement or "AA" philosophy that once you do the 12 steps all depression will be gone. It was nice to have people validate that depression is a real illness and sometimes we need outside help outside of AA.

Kimberley - good on you girl! Keep going. AA works if you work it.

I have started on my grudge list for step 4. Holy cow, it just keeps growing and growing! I am surprised at how much crap I have inside of me!

Have a great day all.

Love and hugs,
Uni

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

I love this group too...the posts are so uplifting.

Alcohol in the house: At first, I could not be around it. I guess I was afraid I'd drink it. We have many normal drinker friends, & I just felt uncomfortable serving a nice dinner wo/AL. I began to have it in the house & found it didn't bother me. In fact, we've had a half bottle of wine in the fridge for weeks, & I actually forgot it was there in the back. I find that as I watch normal people drink, I realize how impossible that would be for me.

That said: I would not feel comfortable w/my husb drinking every night...even just one or two. I think I would have to ask him to stop. If he didn't, so be it.

I'm very fortunate that there are no problem drinkers in my life. I don't like being around highly intoxicated people. That has happened only once in my sobriety...at a wedding. We ended up leaving early.

Last night my daughter & I went out w/2 of her breast cancer buddies. The others all had a glass of wine which lasted them a good 2 hours. I don't know how they did it, but I again realized that I wouldn't be able to do that.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Kim: It's so great to be on the other side clapping & cheering as people pick up their chips. I love that tradition & am grateful that many of my groups have it. Congratulations! Mary

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread Feb. 28 - Mar. 6

Good Morning, All !!!!

Great posts this week.
:goodjob: Kimberly on your 2 months!! We have an old-timer in our group that always says "Thats a long time for a drunk to stay sober"


Thanks Uni for sharing your third step work with us. How awesome!!!

Good to see you back and settled in, Cher.

I liked everyone's input on complacency. There is a story in the back of the Big Book (Keys to the Kingdom, I believe) where it states that some people can afford to rest on their laurels and not have goals to strive for, but for us that is lethal. I like to think of this often to keep me motivated to keep working. So far, it is easy for me to stay motivated because I feel so much better and happier when I am working and learning the principles of the program.

As far as alcohol in the house, my husband is a normal drinker, and he does keep it in the house and does drink in front of me, but so far I have been OK with that. I'm grateful not to have the obsession and the all-consuming preoccupation with AL that I did before.

Thanks to all of you for sharing here. All here and in AA are making my journey through sobriety so much easier.


Have a super, sober day!!!!

HG