Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I'm writing this on Sun. night, as Mon. AM is a difficult time for me to get on the computer. I just got back from my BB study. We've been reading the section of the newest edition of the BB on higher-bottomed alcoholics. I so identify w/many of the stories of not losing the tangibles but definitely losing self-respect & in my case my integrity. Tonight there was a lot of talk about exactly what a HP/God is. I think the general consensus is that it is a mystery our rational minds cannot comprehend. There was also talk about when the "fun" of drinking clicked off & the misery clicked in. I can't remember when I switched from drinking working for me to drinking wrecking my life. It was a pretty long time ago, because I remember years & years of wanting to stop but not being able to. I'm just so grateful that I found a way out. MWO really is such an appropriate name for how I felt about my drinking. MWO & AA turned out to be the answer for me ODAT. Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Thanks Mary for starting the thread, am so gratefull for mwo and AA,
Someone here on mwo pm me this last year and wanted to post this, but never got around to it.

The Serenity Prayer..... (Full Version)

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference,

Patience for the things that
take time,
Appreciation for all that
We have, and
Tolerance for those with
different struggles
Freedom to live beyond
the limitation of our past
ways the Ability to feel
Your love for us and our
Love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is
Hopeless.

Just love reading the other halve......

Love catch22 x:lx

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Morning All it a nice sunny fresh day here.

I didn't realize that the above serenity prayer is not the original one, so if anyone knows where this one comes from would love to know, because i cant seem to find it anywhere not unless my friend that PM'd me had made it up. But i got to say i do Love this one....

You know Mary am not sure about when i step over the line with my drinking but i do know that i was in denial with it all, until i come on here and realize shit i do have a problem someone once said if you cant stop for 2days then your got a problem i thought in side my head thats easy i can do that, but when i couldn't get pass 2days i realize i was not in control with my drinking no more. I was going a bit crazy inside me, if that makes sense....because for that moment i was not in denial.....

Wont be able to go to meeting much because am overdrawen , i have not much money to put petrol in my car, i dont want to spend money i have not got, which i have done already. The thing is i feel it now when i dont go back..... Thinking back Bill and bob only did meetings once a week or twice a week and they seem to of got by ok. There town was only small plus there was not a lot of poeple at first they had to drag the ones of the street that were drunk to make it a meeting. They never said about doing the 90days meeting at first that come later on, very later on, if am wrong please let me know, but it doesn't say in the big book about 90days meetings. If it does please let me know what page it is on.....because am learning something new everyday......so i know what to do is to do, keep doing the step 10,11, and 12.

Thank you all for reading my post.

Have a lovely day ALL my lovely mwo friends.:l

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

MWO was also a wake-up call for me. I came here in April 07 when I knew I had a problem but didn't want to admit I was an alcoholic. I typed: Alcoholism + recovery into google & got this site (among others). For the first time, I was reading stories similar to my own. I wrote & wrote & gradually I began to have periods of abstinence. Those were very important, because it made me realize how much I needed to stop drinking. Eventually, I did go to AA in order to "stay stopped." I look forward to coming here to MWO daily. I thank you all for being here. Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

I think I stepped over the line when I began drinking alone & hiding it from my family. That really escalated my drinking.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Hi everyone! Mary, thanks so much for getting us started this week. You raised several really great topics for me in your kick off post.

In the end:

I didn't lose my house but I lost my freedom. All I wanted to do was sit home alone and drink.

I didn't lose my drivers license but I lost my connection to the world around me. I didn't give a crap about anything but drinking.

I didn't lose my husband but I lost my happy marriage. AL came first. AL makes a miserable partner whether AL is the second in the relationship, the third, or whatever party to it. While it was me, Mr. Doggy and AL (not necesssarily in that order) I was miserable.

What self respecting person would live like that? I don't know. I sure wasn't self respecting.

Mary, I think I crossed the line from the get go. I really don't remember a time when I DIDN'T drink alone and hide it from my family / loved ones. AL grabbed me very early that's for sure. It's a wonder I didn't lose everything considering how important my drinking was to me for so many years. That's a baffling one.

Catch, I love that version of the serenity prayer. I've not seen it before. I'm going to print it out. "Freedom to live beyond the limitation of our past." Indeed! I too have heard that the 90 in 90 suggestion was not in the BB (and I've not seen it there) Much evolved as AA grew and meetings multiplied and (IMO) AA members saw more and more of what worked best for the most people. We here at MWO are fortunate that we have two ways to connect with other alcoholics - through meetings and also here. (and of course there are many web sites for that part of it!!) I often consider my time here particularly important on days where I don't attend a meeting.

Today was open topic Tuesday. A woman suggested the topic of turning it over to a higher power. I haven't seen her in quite awhile (although I heard she was coming back 'round of late). She told a bit of her recent story which was sad, and which could be any of us if we pick up a drink.

* She lost her apartment, her drivers license, and her kids due to drinking.
* She came to AA and worked her program - things started getting better. She got a new job, got an apartment, and last I saw her she was on the road to getting custody of her kids again.
* She took her sobriety for granted.
* She slacked off on meetings and eventually stopped all together.
* She decided to try a little drinking, thinking she could stop again if it didn't work out.
* She couldn't stop.
* She kept driving without a license, and while drunk.
* She got arrested.

Today she is in court and will find out whether she gets 3 - 7 years in prison, or whether she gets probation. I'll tell you what - she had a way better attitude about the whole thing than I probably would have. She was humble, and she turned it over to a higher power saying she was prepared to accept whatever the judge hands down, and do it with dignity.

She got a ton of support around the table. There were a few others whose consequences from drinking included jail or prison time. I'm guessing she found their experience, strength and hope very useful. I found myself hoping she gets probation.

This was particularly poignent for me because I remember how she was when she first came to the tables. A mess. physically, emotionally, spiritually. I watched her resurrect her life and grow and blossom as a person. Then she was gone. AL does such horrifying things to us inside and out.

I hope I never forget how it was. The day my memories of what it was like to hate myself and see suicide as my only way out start to fade - well that would be a bad day for me I think. I need to remember how painful it was to be a drunk, and all that came with it. That memory saves me from thinking I should go back there.

Thank you all for being here!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

The relapsing is so, so sad. I see it around me from people who really thought they had been to hell & back. I think it was you, DG, who said we have to get our priorities straight:
-#1 priority: staying sober
-#2 priority: everything else.

-I cannot have any happiness, serenity, or peace if I am drinking.
-I cannot let up on my meetings.
-I cannot stop doing service.

When I first got into program, my then-sponsor said:
-Trust God
-Clean house
-Help another alcoholic

Pretty simple stuff.

Mary

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Hi everyone,

As usual fantastic words of wisdom on this thread this week.
"High bottom drunk" I guess that was me... when I crossed the line, not sure, like you Mary, I tried to stop and wanted to stop for years and years. But I used my alcoholic first husband as my reason I wasn't an alcoholic. He was the problem for everything.
I thank God now for drawing me to this site which I started way back in 07 but the stopping never stuck until I joined AA.

Catch... I only can go to about 2 meetings a week now and I'm doing ok, but boy if I didn't have those I know I would get squirly. That word squirlly has been used so often by people in AA and when I first heard it I knew I was with "my Peeps"

Have a great week all.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Cherbear, it didn't take me long either after starting AA to know I was "with my squirley peeps" - all of them just like me whether they are in a suit or live under a bridge.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Good speaker meeting last night: A friend from my weekend meetings spoke. He's a suit in real life, & I'm sure most of his colleagues would never guess that he's an AAer. He hit a pretty low bottom: losing wife, child, love-of-his-life, job, self-esteem, etc. Like me, he was always an over-achiever & used AL as a way to decompress. Then, like me, AL took over his life. He's been in AA about as long as I have. He's very serious about his program: praying, doing service, attending meetings. As he put it to me after the meeting: "I do what's necessary, because I do not want to go back there."

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Wow! Great words this week. I'm in downtown Chicago tonight back to Texas tomorrow. So glad y'all are here for me and others.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Phil - I can't remember if you told me you've been to the Mustard Seed or not. If you haven't - try to catch a meeting there. I've heard it's quite an experience!

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Hi DG.
Yeah, I made it to the Mustard Seed last summer during my vacation here. I think it was a Sunday afternoon speaker meeting. It was way cool, like church except really fun.
No meetings this trip, but reading here at MWO.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Again some words from Tues. night's speaker (a friend of mine): He heard at a meeting: a guy told his sponsor that what he really wanted in sobriety was happiness. His sponsor retorted that what he should be looking for is a way to be of service to another alcoholic (or anybody for that matter). "How can I be useful today?" I'm finding that the more of service I am, the happier I am. Hmmm, could there be something to that? I think I was looking for happiness:
-in what other people could do for me.
-in situations that might please me.
-in the bottle.
-etc.

I never did find happiness in the above.

I have found happiness in service.

Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread Mar. 7 - Mar. 13

Happy Birthday Mary!!!!! I hope you have a wonderful day!!!!!:bday7::bday1::goodtime::crowned::bday2::bday3: