AF Daily - Wed 3/16

[greeneyes]

Morning fabbies!

It's trash day! Yay!

Well the shower got ripped out last night and DG & M3 were right about the dust. A fine powder coats 2 rooms. It takes everything I have to keep this is proper perspective. I hope I can maintain that when it's clean-up time.

LVT, Doreen Virtue is on the Aware Show tonight. Lisa Garr hosts and she's a good interviewer, IMO. The Aware Show Teleseminar Intensive 6:00 EST I think. Did you get her book?

Jenny, sorry about the choice you made.... a hot family issue on a Friday night = Danger Will Robinson! What are your new rock solid plans for this weekend?

OK I've got to throw my tax info together and get out the door. Have a day better than you hoped for!

One thing's for sure!

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Hello Fab Abber's!

G'day Greenie! Have a wonderful day my friend.

Best wishes all.

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Hello Fab Abber's!

G'day Greenie! It's been far too long! Have a wonderful day my friend. :h

Best wishes all.

[jennyneric]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Good morning! Wow I thought I would never make it through last night! Alone and vernable but here I am! Up before the sun and feeling pretty good! Much better than the last 4 days anyway! I did choose to drink but if there is an up side to that I did not drink to much at all. More than "normal" people of course and much more than I would ever want to (none) but I didn't black out or drive drunk or do things I would regret, I just drank, and drank again, and again, and again. There in lies the problem.

Anyway. Here I am back on the wagon, with all of my wagon friends! I'm happy today, I believe that has something to do with the L-glut, it seams to be a mood stablizer for me.

Have a great one. Greenie I will get back to you with those plans!

One thing is FOR SURE!!!. . .:thumbs:

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Morning Greenie, and all to come.

How are your teeth? Sounded very painful!

I've applied for tickets for next year's Olympics. Don't know if I'll get any yet, the whole procedure is a bit tortuous. Previously, I might book things ahead (although never *that* far ahead, I'm not that much of a planner!) and never know if I'd actually be able to go because of drinking. I've cancelled holidays at the last minute and lost all the money, and let down friends. Now, I know that next summer I'll be sober and will be able to go to anything I get tickets for. How cool is that?

DG, following on from your comment about your dad making choices yesterday: when my mum first became ill she was absolutely adamant that she didn't want to have chemotherapy (because she didn't want to feel even more ill and didn't want her hair to fall out). I at first thought maybe she ought to try it but then I realised that it's so important for her to make decisions about her own healthcare, even if she is going against doctors' advice etc (In fact, the docs offer a range of options and are very much concerned with allowing patients to choose what they want to do as there are no guarantees anyway and the docs don't know what the outcome will be anyway). I really had to *let go* trying to gently persuade her in one direction. Instead, she has chosen her treatments and I now happily support the decisions she is making. I think it's doing her good to be in control of what's happening (as much as she can).

Coincidentally, I'm reading a book about the psychology of choice at the moment. And there are lots of examples of experiments done about how allowing people to choose for themselves has a positive impact on their health. One experiment done in a nursing home showed that a group who were allowed to choose simple things (picking out their own pot plant, deciding which night they wanted to watch a film) were much happier and healthier than those who were not allowed to choose (were given a pot plant, and were told which night they would be allowed to watch a film).

I hope your dad is doing well

Have a good day everyone!

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Hi Guitarista & Jennyneric! Jenny - well done on getting through last night, that's great!

[bear73]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Good morning all -- taken day off again to gather myself and get over cold.
Will go back tomorrow - using day to do some chores as well - state of house was making me feel worse. I have also planned out decorating/house sorting month by month until November. I will defeat this procrastination - we have lived here for 8.5 years and painted one room/bought zero new furniture.The house doesn't look how I want it to look.

Just sat here with cats and radio and it's great - will be 4 weeks AF on Saturday. Invited to birthday weekend away this weekend - not going as it is just too soon in AF land.
Instead will go to 2 skating sessions,possibly go for a run/gym and buy nice food for me and be helping out at the bout.

Been reading lots of SMART recovery info on their site - I like the behavioural aspect to it and focus on changing feelings/thinking/getting rid of procrastination/mindfulness.
I also today contacted a counsellor/hypnotherapist who listed key areas as alcohol,eating disorders and depression. I made it clear that I had already quit drinking and felt much better that way and had tried to moderate many times before without long term success,and that for me dieting/alcohol and depression are all linked quite tightly and ongoing battles.

Positive first steps - feeling really anxious today but not ready to go back to work yet and am trying to sit with the anxiety and accept it rather than fight it.

Anyway good day all.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

BEAR!! :goodjob::goodjob::goodjob:

Jen, glad you made it through last night

Marshy tooth was sore, but not even bad enought to take anything. The worst part was the needle in the roof of my mouth. GAWD!! :upset: A tear ran out the corner of my eye and into my ear!
You are absolutely right, the ability to make plans and keep them IS awesome!

G - :bigwink:

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Good Wednesday morning Abbers!

Aw Greenie, that tear of yours made me want to cry too! Glad you are OK today

Marshy, I am a firm believer & advocate for patients & their choices. How horrible would it be to have the medical community take away or limit your end of life chices? So glad to hear you are on board with your Mom & her choices.
Good luck getting those tickets

Good morning G!
Glad to hear you are back on board Jenny. A plan to circumvent similar instances AF in the future is essential.

bear, congrats on your decision to avoid temptation this weekend! It will be so much better to enjoy your 4 week anni AF - good for you!

Not sure yet what I'm doing today. I seem to be a totally last minute person these days :H
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Hump day!

Lav

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Hello everybody!!!

Greenie, I am listening to the Healing with the masters audio right now. :thanks: I will check out the Doreen Virtue link as well. My computers/Internet providers are causing me extreme frustration again. Who knew streaming Pandora Internet radio would use up all of my allotted Bandwidth? I haven't bought the book yet, nor downloaded the audible books/meditations due to the above mentioned computer issues. Soon though--this fascinates me.

Yesterday I dealt with a project I have been trying to get to (procrastinating) for years. I put the boy's baby/little boy pictures in frames and put them on the wall. It's not perfect, and I need to get some more frames, but it's done! Feels good except for figuring out what to do with the bulletin boards I took down to make space.

I listened to "Sober For Good" while working on the project. Interesting listen for sure.

Well, it is supposed to be 75 degrees here today!!! I need to get my inside work done, open the windows and find something to do outside. I looked through the seed catalog this morning. Hubby insists he and the boys are going to help with the gardening this summer. :H The boys will be happy to hear they will have chicken chores as well.

It's yoga day, I hope it's not canceled like it was Monday.

Pap--it really is hard around here to find a good doctor that is personable and one I can feel comfortable with. I usually list my gyno as my doctor, because I've known him forever, he saved my son's and my life, and I love him. Recently I used one of our doctors here (they come and go like the circus) and was sorely disappointed. I admit I laughed out loud when you described the comment from the med student.:H The treatment from your doc sounds unacceptable and I don't blame you for looking for a new one.

Gotta run. Have a great sober day all. I think I might go see my sister tomorrow.

[universal]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Morning abbers!

Still feel rundown over here in Uni Land but at least I am not pukey today. Going to sleep all day (again) and get this stupid flu bug out of me.

Marshy - that book sounds really interesting - would love to read it - what's the title and author?

Bear - :goodjob: - You are making choices based on your AFness - that is wonderful. Keep fighting the battle - you will win if you don't give up. Is there any way you can take a leave from work for a month or so? I notice that you are off quite a bit which is great as you need to take care of yourself - wondering if they will give you a short term paid leave while you get stronger? Just a thought, all companies are different in what they offer.

Jenny - good job on battling through.

Greeny - sorry about the sore tooth! :l

To everyone else, I hope you all have a great AF day. It's Wednesday - halfway through the week. Glad to be back in AF/NF land after some struggles earlier in the month.

Have an awesome day everyone - I'll check in later.

Love and hugs,
Uni

[momof3]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Good Morning (Almost afternoon) All,

Greenie, Sorry about the dust...like talcum powder I know. It wreaked havoc with my sinuses and caused massive headaches. Neti pot works wonders.

Bear, so happy to hear from you and it sounds like you are making some really good choices. I too noticed lots of things around my house, etc that were left unfinished. It is quite eye opening to see how much does NOT get done when the first priority is drinking. Fortunately, you will have LOTS more energy now and will have fun getting everything done that you need to. I too had lots of anxiety when I drank and for awhile when I stopped but I have little to none now. You are doing GREAT!!!!

LVT, I have read some of your past posts and I am so very happy to hear that your son is doing well!!!

Marshy, Olympics. Wow. Keep us posted.

Jenn. I am happy to hear that you are back on track.

Uni, I hope you are feeling better soon.

DG, Lav, Marshy, regarding choices. Yes, I went through this with my dad when he was diagnosed with lung cancer but it was the other way around. He wanted to do it all (he was 73 at the time)...radiation, chemo, etc. He got through the radiation treatment and was ready to start chemo but he took a turn for the worse. The doctors did not think he would survive the chemo and I was the one who had to tell him. It was on Valentines Day of 1999. A heavy heart day. He went into Hospice care shortly after that and died on March 4th. I was happy that we were able to keep him at home and he did not have to go into a hospital or nursing home.

Hi Guitarista, Mario. Good to have you great blokes here.

[universal]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Well, I just had a conversation with my father that I didn't want to have. He called me and I was stupid enough to pick up the phone.

*sandwich alert*
As you guys know I have been dealing with deep depression and other emotional issues. A lot of them stem from my childhood with my father. He was not abusive or anything, just never there - physically or emotionally. And he is yelling at me on the phone wanting to know why I am reliving the past and why I can't just forget everything. Why doesn't my mind work like normal peoples, these are things that I should just forget? Why do they bug me? For example (like I said, I was lucky, no abuse) but I remember his 30th birthday they had a big party at our house (I was 8) and they hired strippers. So I sat and watched strippers lap dance my father right in front of my mom. This upsets and confused me then and it still bugs me. All of the episodes are little things like that - my dad's second wife had a daughter who was a gorgeous model. I was 15. All I heard was how great Jennifer was and how much money she made etc. etc. So to get his attention, what did I do? I became anorexic and bulimic and was able to become a bikini model for 2 years. But I still didn't receive the love or satisfaction I required. Now at 36 his 3rd wife has 2 kids - one lives in New Brunswick - 15 hours from him. (I live 1 1/2 hours from him and have his grandchild). He has been to NB 4 times a year for the past 5 years and here once in 3. I see my sister in Florida more than him. So yeah, things like this and all the past hurt me. And he doesn't get it. Can't see why it bugs me. Can't see why I'm in pain. And that's just my dad, not to mention the other things I am trying to deal with from my past.

I explained to him that I have a mental disorder. That I am sick. That I have depression and anxiety and that I am trying to deal with these things which is why I go to therapy. That quitting drinking has brung up these issues and that is why I am working so hard at getting well.

To which I get " Well, I just don't understand why these things bother you so much anyway - those were my choices, why did my choices even bug you? You are an adult - grow up".

I knew I shouldn't have answered the phone. I knew it. I am in so much pain right now. Fuck.
I'll be okay - I just really needed to vent - I'm sorry.

[Cassia]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Uni - I am so sorry to hear that. Parents can be such selfish people and as I have discovered with my dad, they are not too keen on self reflection. It appears to me that your struggles are making him think about his behaviour which is making him very uncomfortable. It really is his problem, not yours. You know what you need to do and you have got a long road ahead of you but you will get there. It may have to be without his support. You gotta loom out for number one babes.

Big hugs to you,
L x

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Wed 3/16

Uni,
Your Dad sounds about as insensitive as mine was......a real piece of shit really.
Somewhere along the line I just had to accept the fact that HE was a LOSER, he was the problem, etc., not me! Once I finally made myself believe that fact - things eased up for me. It wasn't an easy thing to do, belive me as he lived the last 12 years of his freaking miserable life in MY house!!!!!!
Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that you don't see him often. Get caller ID if you don't have it - saves a lot of stress. I don't pick up the phone anymore when I see an asshole is calling

Feel better soon :l