af daily sat 19 march

[bear73]

hey all - off on travels in a bit.
lovely Spring day - looking forward to seeing friends and being Up North.
4 weeks today - feeling anxious - not about drinking - everything else!

must dash - have a great Saturday will check in on mobile but can't post again until tomorrow
Sara - I agree with Det - take what you need and ignore the rest - will always be there somewhere in our lives. no smart meetings in Uk so am browsing their online site the way they talk about it and techniques/thoughts really appeals to me/helps me.

Happy Saturday!

[Marshy]

af daily sat 19 march

Hello abbers!

Lovely sunny morning. Can just about see it through the window at work :H

Have fun up north, bear. (There are some Smart meetings in UK - lots in Scotland but only one in London on their website. I first checked them out when Doggygirl went to their meetings a couple of years ago but the number of meetings in London, or down south anywhere, doesn't seem to have increased since then.)

Uni - the book I mentioned the other day is called The Art of Choosing by Sheena Iyengar. Good to hear you're feeling a bit better.

DG - not easy to "let go" and watch as someone does their own thing when we desperately want to help them. It's a very diiffcult situation.

Sara - I haven't seen the thread you mentioned and certainly won't be going looking for it. I think it's easy sometimes, especially early on in sobriety, to get caught up in the enthusiasm for the latest miracle cure or to follow a method that "allows" us to drink but be true to yourself - stick to the things that are helpful for you, steer clear of things that might be triggers (as you would in real life). Keep plugging away at what works for you - it's working, right!

And hello to Det :hiya: - because I'm always tucked up in bed by the time you post.

Have a good day all!

[greeneyes]

af daily sat 19 march

Abberroooooos!

Bear CONGRATS ON 4 WEEKS!!! I think you're headed to a birthday dinner if I recall correctly - I'm wondering if that is part of your anxiety feelings? I hope you have a great relaxed time and you that sparkles around this notch in your belt!

Marshy, it's going to be lovely sunny here too - when the sun comes up. The tile guys will be here in an hour and stay all day to tile the bathroom. I already feel tied down and I miss Saturday yoga - boo hoo.
BUT! There is a dinner at someone's house tonight. It's a loose version of the supper club people so I'm delighted to be invited. I've been there once for a birthday party and the host is an award winning beer brewer so there is a lot of focus on the beer. It isn't tempting in a "I wish I dould drink sort of way. But it felt odd to decline the opportunity to taste and express appreciation of his efforts. It felt very "alcoholic" to say, "No, sorry, not even a taste" and frankly I didn't like that. One of the women that is part of the group (wasn't at that particular event) has been AF about the same as me (with no relapse) so at least I'll have company in that respect. Hummm... I'm sitting here suprised that the beer issue came out of nowhere. I guess I had ignored that and now here it is.....

Sarah I avoided that thread, but did go take a look when you mentioned it. I don't think it's a good idea for my brain to experience anything that tries to duplicate a high and remind me of that. I just think that would only lead to cravings for me.

Coconut cream pie.... tsk, tsk... deter!

Right well I better get dressed so the tile guys don't catch me nekkid. I'm pissed that I didn't finish the walls in there yesterday. I had all day to do it and just didn't. WTF?

Have a great Saturday - even people like marshy who have to work.

[Lavande]

af daily sat 19 march

Good morning Abbers!

20 degrees cooler here today but still kind of Spring-like

Congrats on your 4 AF weeks bear!!! Great work, now stay strong

Hope your workday goes fast Marshy!

Greenie, good luck with the bathroom remodel. I'd rather do just about anything else because I've been through all that in the first three houses.....

Deter - coconut cream pie sounds rather sinfully delicious :H:H

About that thread Sara mentioned yesterday - I saw it too, didn't like it & just clicked out of it & moved on. I don't want to tortue myself, that's just plain stupid. :H

Not sure yet what I doing today - guess I should figure that out!
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Saturday!

Lav

[greeneyes]

af daily sat 19 march

FFS!!! There's a pinhole leak in a shower pipe (old copper stuff) so nothing is happening today. I have quite little prior experience with this stuff so this is a real learning curve. I have to say it is most advantageous to be clear headed.

[LVT25]

af daily sat 19 march

Hello friends,

Congrats on 4 weeks Bear!:goodjob: Keep it up!

I got home kinda late last night (went bowling can you believe that?) and decided to check in with MWO. Now, I hate to open any wounds here, and I didn't comment on this particular thread, but comments such as these rub me the wrong way.

"Before this another episode occurred. One member who had been a long-time poster on the Abs threads admitted to drinking three beers. She was castigated and ridiculed and left as a result. Jesus people, there are tons of others here doing the same - drinking and then admitting it, yet staying on the Abs threads. No one is attacking them."


I could be wrong, but this particular member was defending the thread Sara was talking about.
For as long as I have been here, there has been just a little (and sometimes alot) of animosity between the Abstainers and the Moderators. If it weren't for the comments we get once in awhile from people that say they gain a little motivation and inspiration from the monthly and long term ab's thread, I think I would recommend we take our little friendly support group and go somewhere that no one else has to put up with our castigating (going to have to look that one up) and ridiculing. Or could it be no one is attacking "us" because it didn't happen. IMHO the person in question took great offense to being questioned about their intentions. Just to use Bear as an example--here she is 4 WEEKS sober, would she be that far today if she was told it was ok to drink a few beers once in awhile even though she said she wanted to be AF?

There also seems to be some contention that there are cliques and private groups here. My point is "what is wrong with that?" We are all supportive of each other, we always welcome anyone that has the common goal of being AF (It IS a separate forum btw) and we have become friends. I for one, stay out of the Mods forums, that just doesn't interest me. I rarely read anything except what is in the Ab's section. I've been sober for over 2 years and I would probably totally leave the site if it weren't for this thread.

Ok, I am off my rant for now. Just had to get that off my chest. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and taking a risk with the comments, but it's how I feel. I think we have to be able to speak our mind safely here. I will say I'm sorry the above mentioned person had their feelings hurt, and I do miss them.

Since I am getting stuff off my chest this morning I will also say this. I want to say how much I love getting comments from the people that take the time and effort to do that. It strokes my ego and lets you know I care and I think those of you that do that have a definite gift. I'm sorry I don't have that gift or time to do that. I just want everyone to know how much I appreciate who they are, and I love hearing about your lives. :l

I looked at my calendar this morning and I have absolutely nothing on it for today!! It's a miracle! I spent 2 full days cleaning my office, now I have bathrooms and the rest of the house and I hope by the weekend this place will at least be tidy.

My son's speech team is going to state! They asked him to join after basketball season because they needed another person for their O.I.D. It's not really his favorite thing, but he has natural talent there and it is good for him. I'm going to go watch them at state and go visit my sister, who is once again in the hospital. I'm afraid the Cushings Disease is getting the best of her. She is extremely weak and she will probably have to go to a nursing home. So sad.:upset:

I hope you made a sandwich!:H Have a great sober day all!:h

[mario]

af daily sat 19 march

Hello bear,marshy,greeneyes,lavande,lvt25,

Hope you dont mind me droping in , just saying hello.

Well done bear on your 4 weeks, keep it going its so worth it, hope you all have a lovely sober day. :-)

[Marshy]

af daily sat 19 march

LVT - I saw that thread and thought the "ridiculing and castigating" comment was ludicrous. I considered dropping in to defend the Abs thread, but then thought what's the point? That poster had obviously made her mind up who the bad guys were and nothing was going to change that. Plus, I'm into non-conflict at the moment :H

I think if someone wants to drink, says it's no big deal to drink and that they want to be able to drink on "special" occasions, the Abs thread is not the place to be! That's a totally different mindset from someone who doesn't want to drink and is working on staying sober even if they sometimes don't manage that.

[greeneyes]

af daily sat 19 march

Hey ho mario!!!

LVT, we are talking about bridgett bardot, right? If so, it is my opinion that absolutely no ridicule or castigation took place. Her presence or absence on an AF thread is a result of a personal decision. When she announced her intention to leave, she was openly welcomed to remain sans AL glamorization. As for the other thing.....I was a participant in the humorous end of it after-the-fact and on another thread entirely. A public thread on a public forum; no secrets behind closed doors. The jesting was proved an effective way to diffuse brewing ill feelings from some unfounded remarks and/or their interpretation as such. Laughter is the best medicine after all and there was not meanness behind the activity. So, besides being queen of the universe, I am also her royal tartness although no longer exemplified by the color of my font (spoken with a raised eyebrow and a silent t, please). That is all.

[Sarasmiles]

af daily sat 19 march

Hi Everyone! Just finishing up a morning at work and wanted to come by. I appreciate the responses about contentious threads and posts. I will do as several of you suggested and just stick to this thread for the most part. One major difference between this site and SMART is that there is a lot less policing here. The MWO book, intended to help those who want to moderate as well as those who want to abstain, opens the door to moderation support here, so that seems perfectly natural. At SMART, no one is "allowed" to say that moderate or social drinking is their goal. Of course, everyone has tried it, but the site is abtinence based, and those who are posting about their continued efforts to moderate are warned to knock it off or be banned. I originally left SMART and came to MWO wanting to moderate. I came here specifically because I wanted support with that. I got it. But now as I look back I realize that I was prolonging my agony. If "moderation" hadn't sounded so reasonable and doable, maybe I would have quit sooner. Of course, we all have to come to these decisions in our own time. Maybe if I hadn't had the Mod Squad thread back then, I would have given up on getting any help at all, and just gone on struggling all alone.

Anyway, this is indeed the world we live in; SMART protects us from that, but only on the boards...our lives are going to be full of drinkers and non-drinkers; people who are trying to cut back, people who have quit (I haven't found many of those in "real" life yet) and people who are hoping that if they take the right medications or supplements they will be able to continue drinking. By the way, is that the primary purpose of Baclofen, or is it used primarily for people who want to abstain but are finding the cravings unbearable? I ask that as a sincere question, no judgement involved at all. I just don't know anything much about it. I googled it last night, and then got this scared feeling that maybe once again my addictive self was looking for an out..."ooohhh...maybe there's a drug that would make me a normal drinker". You know what? Even if there is, which I doubt, I don't want it. I really don't want to play with fire anymore. Too many lives, including my own, are at stake.

Okay, now I haven't responded individually to anyone, and I'm sorry. But this post is long enough, huh? Let me just say a huge CONGRATULATIONS to Bear on 4 weeks, and also LVT how AWESOME that you've been sober for over two years. I didn't know it had been that long for you, and it's inspiring!

Looking forward to another sober Saturday night, made fun by a movie and popcorn with the kids, lots of cuddle time, and an alert mind to read in bed when the kids have gone to sleep. Probably sounds boring to many, but I love this life!

Sara

[Sarasmiles]

af daily sat 19 march

Greeneyes, I cross-posted with you and I have no idea what you're talking about, since I was out of the loop for so long. :H I don't need to know.

[Lavande]

af daily sat 19 march

What you said Marshy is right on!

I saw that same thread.......sometimes people's comments/complaints just seem immature or childish even & not worth a response.

LVT, I'm thinking of you & your sister :l

[Doggygirl]

af daily sat 19 march

Afternoon Fabbies!! I am celebrating my 29th (53) birthday today. So far, I went to Weight Watchers receptionist training, Curves for a workout, returned some excess stuff I bought, ate some leftovers for lunch, and played with some confetti poppers in the driveway with Mr. Doggy. He has video of that which will probably come back to haunt me. :H

I am SO GRATEFUL to be sober today. I wanted to die when I was still drinking. I just couldn't imagine continued drinking with the toll it was taking on me and my life. And I couldn't imagine NOT drinking because I just couldn't figure out how to do that. I'm still not totally sure what miracle has left me in a state of contented sobriety today, but here I am - very thankful for that miracle. I'll just keep doing what seems to be working for me.

Bear, congrats on 4 weeks!!! I hope you have a great trip. Good to hear that the SMART tools are helping. Stay true to YOU!

Hi Marshy! Hope there is still some sun left for you when you finish up at work. Yes - letting go is tough. But it's the right thing. I'm so glad to have you here to "vent" to and know that I will get excellent feedback. Thank you so much! (Marshy and ALL fabbies!) Dad is home now.

Greenie, I hope the leak in the pipe is not a big deal to fix. Always seems there are unwanted suprises with these projects!!! It's going to look FABULOUS when it's done - keep thinking about that!! With the work stoppage, did you get to go to yoga after all? Have a great time at the party tonight.

Deter. I feel your sugar pain! A constant battle here for sure. At least if you were going to eat your weight in something sugary you picked something good. :h I hope you are heading home today rather than another night in the middle of nowhere!

Lav, whatever you decided to do today, I hope you are enjoying it!

LVT, I am so sorry to hear that Terry is going back to the hospital and possibly to nursing home. She is so brave with this terrible illness. Whenever you mention her, it really gives me pause to think about the petty crap I allow to upset me sometimes - stuff that just doesn't matter in the big picture. I hope when I face adversity, I can do it with the grace that you and Terry do it. That is exciting about your son on the speech team! Great experience I'm sure - even if it isn't his favorite thing right now. That skill will serve him well.

Hi Mario!!! Just love seeing you here lately!! You have so much to offer - I really appreciate all the wisdom you share here at MWO.

On the castigating and other mean stuff that us mean old meanies dish out: What Marshy said!

I think if someone wants to drink, says it's no big deal to drink and that they want to be able to drink on "special" occasions, the Abs thread is not the place to be! That's a totally different mindset from someone who doesn't want to drink and is working on staying sober even if they sometimes don't manage that.

Staying abstinent is very, very hard work as all of us - whether we have one day or one million days of sober time under our belts. I know that my own mind is a very, very tricky place. It can so easily fall for BS. My own included. If I ever come around here saying I drank 3 beers, and it really didn't cause a huge problem, and that now I want to drink socially sometimes, PLEASE CASTIGATE ME, WHATEVER THAT IS. You would be doing me a HUGE favor to put the truth in my face. To ask me the tough questions. What changed? What has happened in the past when you "drank a few beers?" What do you think has changed? Why would it be different now? Oh - and if moderate drinking is your goal, I can't help and support you in that cause BECAUSE I CANNOT DO IT MYSELF. There is a different section of this forum where people post who drink moderately. That's the proper place to go for support - where the people are able to do what you want to do. If that is castigation, then please lay it on me if I need it. I COUNT on you guys for that support. Support is telling me the truth, not agreeing with my bullshit.

As for the "substitutes" well....I was too busy reading about the negative side effects of AA to read about all the great substitutes for alcohol. Seriously - this is a wide open forum where we are free to discuss whatever we want. That openess has pluses and minuses. I'm really glad that we can discuss the My Way Out program, but also AA, SMART, Antabuse, Bac, TSM, etc. etc. Along with that freedom of speech comes freedom to agree or disagree. Freedom to choose which threads and posters to commune with, and freedom to look the other way on stuff that clearly doesn't fit my program.

I think the hardest part is just looking the other way sometimes. But that's what I'm trying to learn to do.

Mean time, here we are on AF Daily helping each other in our quest for abstinence today. FABULOUS!!!!!!!!

OK. Lunch and fun is over and it's time for me to put together some Mary Kay orders. YAY!!!!

One thing is for sure...

DG

[mario]

af daily sat 19 march

Happy birthday doggy girl and I hope you have a lovely day, It is fantastic the way your living your new sobriety life. Inspirational to everyone who wants to listen,

[Doggygirl]

af daily sat 19 march

Thanks Mario! Life is good. What a blessing.