AF Daily - March 21 2011

[Doggygirl]

Hi Fabbies!! Oops I forgot to put "Monday" in the title. Oh well. Happy Monday!!!! :yougo:

BIG welcome to Tipplerette! I'm sure it's a challenge to stay AF in the midst of much entertaining. But others have done it and that is what tells me you can do it too! ODAT is a good way to go with a nice near term 5 week goal I think. Glad to have you with us.

Cassia, what day do you leave? What all is on your itinerary? (sorry if I have missed a lot of that since I'm not able to be here every day!)

Greenie - hopefully you are back to 100% today. The party sounded very awesome - especially the full moon gazing by the fire pit!

Lav - keep the Lily piccies coming!!! We finally got smart enough to put straw down in the muddy parts of our small fenced in yard. With 5 dogs and spring rain, there is just no way to keep it un-muddy. The straw is really helping! I got a car wash pass at one of the local gas/car wash places so now I can just go through the fast line and get as many washes per month as I want for $12 a month. That also gets me 3 cents per gallon gas discount. No more excuses for a dirty vehicle!

Cinders - SO happy to have you here with us!!!! Congratulations on these AF days. I am rooting for you. :l

Jenny - you sound like you are doing good too. Unplugged. Can't imagine. Loved reading about your special moment at the end of yoga!!

Sara - your description of the 1 hour TV limit reminded me of "when I was a kid." I'm curious what the typical agenda is at your SMART meetings? I really wish those had been more productive here, but am glad they are getting positive traction in other locations!

LVT - outdoor projects are starting to call my name here too. I just keep trying to delegate to Mr. Doggy. Success is limited.

Auntie - so very good to have you with us too! Thank you for the b-day wishes. 29 is such a fabulous age to be! I'm loving it! I too get a lot of benefit from being with others who share my AL addiction. Secrecy was such a hallmark of my drinking years. It's nice to be out in the open about all those secrets with people who share them.

Hi P3!!! Nosework sounds like it incorporates lots of good tracking and search elements! How fun! Mr. Doggy tracks as part of his Schutzhund work. His older dog is a REALLY good tracker. Just found out Saturday that he will be trialing for Schutzhund 1 in 5 weeks. I hope they pass this time! It's a really really challenging test. Protection is the difficult part with this dog. I hope they pass mainly so they can then go on to try for some of the advanced tracking titles. That's really where this dog excels. The younger one? Protection is no problem. The patience for slow and methodical tracking will be much more of a challenge. :H It is very interesting that in tracking, all the handler work is really done before hand setting up the scenario (or someone else sets it up.) The dog has to do ALL the work with no help from the handler once the rubber meets the road. I love that part of it. Mr. doggy does too. Many handlers DON'T like it because it requires a lot of patience and "thinking" to figure out ahead of time what to set up for the dog to learn. But then you really can't help the dog once you get going. Lots of Schutzhund people decide to move to ring sports (french ring or mondio ring) because they hate to track. :H Sounds like some of the nose work your are doing is more along the lines of the type of training done for bomb detection, drug detection, etc. Footstep tracking in Schutzhund isn't really good for much else but Schutzhund unfortunately!

Hi to everyone else and all yet to come today!!!

Well, Weight Watchers on-line and on-site training is done. Now I am waiting for work! I'm also having a busy streak here with Mary Kay. No time for AL, that's for sure!!! Zoom zoom!

One thing is for sure...there will be NO AL in my life today.

DG

[bear73]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

hey all - beautiful day here - I'm off to tip to declutter then a run/walk in park as it is so lovely and then off to spa later. Off to stock up on nice ground coffee- caff and decaf versions.
I am loving my coffee at the moment.

Later on may go to spa for some relaxation/steam and sauna maybe a little swim.

Really glad to have today off - loved seeing friends, I need to get out and about more - off to see parents this weekend - will be taking my elderflower cordial and sparkling water.

Got plans for birthday weekend as well now - woo!

[universal]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Hi guys!

I have to go back and catch up on weekend readings. It was BF's bday so we spent the weekend together.

It was nice actually - I felt calm and relaxed and I haven't felt like that in a long time. We went and saw the new movie adjustment bureau. Really good! Thumbs up from Uni if you guys are thinking of seeing it.

Also had a nice hot bath in the jacuzi tub, and then parents over for cake later on.

I am off to go read some threads, need to catch up. I have my therapy appointment today as well and then meeting a friend for coffee. Should be a good day even though it is rainy and miserable here and I am feeling a little tired. But I choose to have a good day without AL this Monday!

Love and hugs to all to come,
Uni

Oh, happy belated DG!

[jennyneric]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Good morning DG, bear and all to come! Hope everyone is well! I feel good and productive and strong today! Sometimes strong is bad for me because I get bossy but you know if you would tell yourself to do it I wouldn't have to! Bossy is part of my personality, it's not something I can change! At my first yoga class this weekend the room was small and dark and the newbies couldn't see past the door so we didn't know there were more spaces in the front of the room. As more and more people started coming in there was less and less space and some of them were just standing at the back cause they didn't know what to do. My first instent was to get up and move people and mats and turn on the lights and fix this, however, I sat on my mat crossleged closed my eyes and told myself not to open my eyes when the door opened and then repeated "this is not my problem to control" over and over until the instructor came in. Guess what. . .he turned on the lights and fixed the problem and I didn't have to! I laughed to myself and looked up and thought "this was your first test of the weekend huh, can Jenny really let someone else be in control, can Jenny wait and not just jump in" why yes I can, had to think about it but I did it. It really was a fabulous weekend. The last couple of hours kinda suxed but as Bikram says "don't let anybody steal your peace from you" and I didn't!

Make it a great day all

One things for sure. . .

[Lavande]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Good Monday morning Abbers!

Woke up to darkness & the sound of thunder this morning but it is Spring

Keeping the mud at bay is one of my hobbies these days DG :H
Do you really have a choice?

My DIL's due date is April 5 but judging by the look of her yesterday I'm wondering if I should begin the stork count now ~ she looks so ready. I still can't believe EB is going to be a big brother

Hope everyone has a fantastic AF Monday.
Lav

[Cinders]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Good Morning!!

Such ambitiious souls on this thread. Up and at 'em so early.

I have started a very light (read that very light) exercise routine with bands. I learned it in my last rehab and quit exercising when I got home.

I may add a beginner's yoga routine in the early evening. I loved yoga when I was younger. It actually helped me train for my running. Kept muscles from getting too tight in my legs.

I am afraid to run at my age after so many years of laziness. But, walking seems quite within my reach.

Okay. Help me stick with this, friends. My last rehab said that exercise is one of the building blocks to help overcome addiction.

Hope all are well, happy and sober today.

Love,
Cindi

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Mornin' all!

Still trotting along. I am so HAPPY it is finally Spring!! My little one is on her second week of Spring Break and the weather has been pretty crappy for the most part. I will be happy once she is back at school because at least there she isn't bored out of her tree. There are only so many things I can do with her to keep her occupied, it seems.

Well, I guess I should shower. I am bored already and it is only 8am in the morning. lol!

[LVT25]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Hello friends,

Preparing to zoom, zoom here. I heard from my client that I enter all of her checks/deposits and reconcile 3 accounts for her-- a whole year's worth at a time. She needed me to put every check/deposit into a "class" and I misunderstood--so I did not. I am angry with myself, but I am going to fix it so she doesn't have to. It will probably only take 8 hours or so! :crap:

Cindi--so good to see you here posting. I'll join you on the exercise bandwagon! I love yoga and have a class twice a week when I make it. But, I really need to get back into my walking routine. Since I'm not doing sweets right now--I am over compensating with bad carbs (crackers-bread) and I've gained some weight.:upset:

Hi AFM--good to see you too!

Hello everyone. Have a great sober week all!:h

[universal]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Okay - so my daughters father and I have talked about this for months since I have been dealing with my trauma and depression and we decided that now is the time to do it. So basically, instead of her liveing here full time and us just f###ing up the schedule when I have a bad day (which has happened) we have decided that for her sake and the less confusion that she will be with him one week and me the next. I will still see her ( he lives 5 minutes away) and she has hockey which I always go to but it is probably better for her in the long run to have more stability. Lately when I have had a depressive episode I don't have time for her and am just not the best parent. So I know this is the best solution. And she is totally cool with it. She actually likes the idea. So why do I feel like the biggest bag of shit ever right now?

[Cinders]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

universal;1081890 wrote: Okay - so my daughters father and I have talked about this for months since I have been dealing with my trauma and depression and we decided that now is the time to do it. So basically, instead of her liveing here full time and us just f###ing up the schedule when I have a bad day (which has happened) we have decided that for her sake and the less confusion that she will be with him one week and me the next. I will still see her ( he lives 5 minutes away) and she has hockey which I always go to but it is probably better for her in the long run to have more stability. Lately when I have had a depressive episode I don't have time for her and am just not the best parent. So I know this is the best solution. And she is totally cool with it. She actually likes the idea. So why do I feel like the biggest bag of shit ever right now?

OMG, Uni!! I can understand from the depths of my soul. Our "place" is to be the go to for all things for our children. Sometimes, we just can't. But we want to be and we don't want to abdicate.

Your decision was so wise. It really was.

You are not a bag of sh@t, you are a caring mother who knows that it is best for your girl to be with her father while you are sorting things out. (Sorting things out is a euphemism for getting better so you can always be there for her.)

I am so incredibly proud of you.

What a DIFFICULT decision. You made the right decision based on what you have said.

:l:l to you.

You are an incredible mama.

Do not let anyone ever tell you otherwise, including yourself.

Love,
Cindi

[Sarasmiles]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Hello Ab Fabbers,

We have snow here today; just when it was starting to feel like spring. So, I've lit a fire in the fireplace and am curled up with my laptop to say hello.

I ended up not going to my SMART meeting last night, because in the afternoon I had suddenly decided to totally rearrange the furniture in the downstairs rooms of our house. So everything was a mess and I just felt I had to put it all back together again. If I had been feeling vulnerable or fragile, I would have gone anyway, but I felt strong. I realize today that I would like to make it a priority to go, even when I don't feel like it or have other things to do. There will always be some reason not to go, and I need to do whatever I can to make sobriety stick for me this time. Doggygirl, you asked about the agenda at the meetings. We start with a check-in, with everyone telling what their addiction/abuse problem has been. Some people say, "I had a problem with alcohol, but I've been sober for x # of weeks or months". Some say, "alcohol abuse is my issue". I think the wording is kind of interesting, because some people put it in the past tense and some in the present. I say, "I've had a problem with alcohol for a long time" or words to that effect.

Anyway, we also make note of any particular issue we're dealing with that week. After everyone has checked in, the facilitator chooses someone to start with; usually whoever has the most pressing concern that night. Sometimes it's more general, like, "sounds like several people are having a problem with coping with stress..." or whatever it might be. Then we have a group discussion about the issue at hand, and apply the "tools" that are the foundation of SMART. These are exercises from Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, which is a form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. We look in detail at how our thoughts are making us feel, and how we can think about things differently to feel less stress, anger, sadness, anxiety...whatever emotions we end up struggling with, some of which may have led us to drink in the past. We talk about how to cope with urges, and how to deepen our commitments to remaining abstinent. We wind up with another check in, when people say something about how they felt about the meeting, and often people say, "I'll be back next week" If there's time left, we do a guided meditation for stress reduction.

I must say that I think one of the most powerful things for me is the act of stating, in front of 20 or so people, "I have had a problem with alcohol". Before this, I'd really never admitted to my problem to many people other than on line friends. It's important for me, because it makes it feel real, which, of course, it is.

Be well everyone!

Sara

[Cinders]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

I must say that I think one of the most powerful things for me is the act of stating, in front of 20 or so people, "I have had a problem with alcohol". Before this, I'd really never admitted to my problem many people other than on line friends. It's important for me, because it makes it feel real, which, of course, it is.

And it makes us accountable, which we are.

Love,
Cindi

[universal]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Cindy - thank you for your kind words. I know for my daughters sake that her having more stability in her life is what she needs. She doesn't need to "think" she's coming to mommy's house and then find out mommy is having a bad day so she's at daddy's. She needs stability. Which is what we are going to do. I have the best ex husband in the world, I swear. I really do. He is so supportive and understanding and sometimes I think I don't deserve that. But he lived with me through depression, he saw me on the medication, he knows the drinking for me was a "cure". I am lucky. but it still sucks knowing that I will go an entire week without my baby. But the problem is my "baby" for me is a suckhold blanket almost - I use her hugs as a way to hug my inner child and that is not healthy for her or me. So I know this is right. And I'm proud that I have made the right decision. But yeah, It sucks. Making the decisions that we know are the best for us and for our recovery suck. Period. They suck. but at least I'm making them. I gotta give myself credit for that at least. At least I'm trying.

I already talked to her - said she was going to be with dad this week. She was like "okay, that's cool mom, can you bring me my journal and my ipod and will you still be at my hockey game?". She is just the best kid ever. How did I get so lucky? I don't know but I thank my lucky stars.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Uni, all I can say is that someday, I hope you YOU realize how very blessed your daughter and her Dad are you have YOU in their lives. It sounds like they see it - sometimes it's so hard for us to see what makes us fabulous. :l But you are. Just because we have difficulties doesn't make us bad people. :h

Cindi, I love that you are here today.

Sara, thanks for sharing how your meetings go. Maybe someday I will get the chance to go to another SMART meeting when I'm traveling or something. I too find admitting my problem with alcohol in front of others to be very freeing. Keeps it real for me too. For so many many years I struggled to hide everything from my fears to how many drinks I had. I just find it nice to be honest and move forward.

You bring up a good point about finding reasons not to go. I too get busy and skip meetings sometimes. Then it never fails - I will hear from someone who relapsed. And they inevitably say that somewhere along the path the to the decision to drink, they moved away from their support systems and sobriety affirming activities. And this seems to happen early in the process. So I think we are wise to catch ourselves at any level of avoidance - even when it seems "justified" on the surface - and reign that in.

LVT - I am so happy we found that :crap: smiley. Aren't you? I hope it doesn't take as long as you think and that it goes smoothly!

Good to see you AFM!! I got spring fever today too and now my toes are a BRIGHT shade of coral.

Lav, I am having a hard time too imagining EB as "Big Brother." STORKSTORKSTORK!!!

Jenny, I too like to "fix manage and control" everything around me. It is really taking a lot of effort for me to separate things correctly into the two types of business - My Business and None Of My Business. Sounds like you did very well at yoga!

Well, lunch break is over and now I've got some Mary Kay prep work to do for a makeover tomorrow. Zoom Zoom! Very glad to be unhung and LIVING today.

One thing is for sure...

DG

[Lavande]

AF Daily - March 21 2011

Uni, gald to hear you have made peace with your decision. Kids adjust much easier to changes than adults do, really.

Hi Cindi, nice to see you!

LVT, I don't envy your job ~ I hate any kind of paper work, numbers, etc :H

Well, after seeing an alarming number on the bathroom scale this morning I decided it's time to stop putzing around & rejoin Weight Watchers online. I mean really, what the hell have I been eating all winter?
I also dusted off the perfect treadmill I have here, there's just no excuse - bad Lav

YB just emailed me & said he wants to go to dinner Wednesday but didn't say why.
His sneaky behavior makes me just plain paranoid. I said yes then immediately regretted it - damn!

Oh well, I will try to not worry ahead of time