Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

retteacher;1082430 wrote: I too have a lot of pride. I'm much more accustomed to being the helper rather than the helpee. It's great having a sponsor, because I can step out of the wise woman, know-it-all role that people sometimes see me in...a role I've fostered over the years. I like that I can show weakness & humility in AA & don't have to be perfect.

Mary

Amen Mary!

The meeting I attended this morning was very powerful for me. It's open topic on Tuesday. A guy who is just 20 days sober suggested "sober spring" as the topic. Watching him over the last 3 weeks has been incredible. He came in so broken and could barely get a word out. He was just surviving the withdrawls, the shame, the feeling of defeat. A glimmer of hope is starting to appear. He is starting to say a few things in meetings. The fact that he suggested a topic today is huge progress. He has a sponsor now and in baby steps, he is coming to life. It is such a beautiful thing to watch. I felt the presence of Step Coach saying "I LOVE watching recovery!" There was talk around the tables of handling our first season opener baseball games sober, doing yardwork sober, not worrying about whether there would be AL available when planning the years first outdoor activities. There was talk of the former insanity. Sitting in a bar all winter long talking about wanting spring to hurry up and arrive. Then when it did, just propping the bar door open for a little fresh air. :H I've sat on a lot of bar stools like that one. (before my days of primarily drinking in isolation.)

I am so very grateful to be sober today. I am so grateful to go to meetings and look in the eyes of recovery. That means I also look in the eyes of sadness, hopelessnes, and relapse. But as long as we are here there is hope. As a group around the table we convey hope I think. I'm grateful sometimes just to just sit in the spirit of that hope.

I am 34 months sober today. I am always reminded of my monthly anni because there is another man who always comes by on the 22nd of every month - his anni too. We have a little ritual now.

I never in a million years would have believed I would be an AA member. But here I am, and glad I am.

DG

[InChains]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Wow DG, congrats on 34 months! I haven't even done 34 days in... 7 years xD

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

TG, the things you describe in your post? Lots of people around the tables describe those very same fears and concerns going in. Not telling you to go - just sayin'. Your feelings are not at all unusual. We have a lot in common.

There is a saying I like. "Find the people who have what you want. Do what they do and maybe you'll get what they've got." That's what I try to do as a student of sober living.

DG

[InChains]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Frankly I'm more scared of seeing somebody I know there, one of my old teachers even, the shame would kill me

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

In Chains: I was scared to death of seeing someone I know in meetings. Then it happened multiple times:
-people from the community.
-former students (I'm a retired teacher).
-parents from my grandkids' play group.
-my optometrist.
-etc.

I think people were surprised, but no one said: "Oh My God! You're an alcoholic!" My sponsor told me that fearing seeing people I know is my pride getting in the way. I'm still nervous about it, but now I feel that when it does happen (& ineviditably it will happen), it's meant to teach me something...humility. I can always use a few lessons in humility.

Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

_EndOfTheLine_;1081930 wrote: Had a horrible day, I have already hit the wall I think (after 8 days AF). I seem to hit it sooner and sooner these days. Its days like this I think that it is impossible to stay sober, I could barely get out of bed. How long does post quitting depression last, I can't stand it!

Hi Endoftheline_ Just wanted to say give it time, i remember my first year i was crying for no reason at all i was on a emotional rollcaster ride, i did go to my GP and got help. Put me on anti depressants but that not for everyone, am not on them no more, and if i was honest with you getting out of bed was a big thing for me, its only been those last two weeks that am getting out of bed and not wanted to stay in bed....
oh and the Best time to go AA is when you dont want to go, believe me i thought i would only be there for 3months and i would be able to do this on my own, how wrong was I......
Everytime i look back and i can see a change in Me it my be little changes, but it so worth it! Y/day i went on a bike ride and today am going for a little ran i can feel it inside me that am getting better...keep moving forward, it does get better.:l

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Kimberley hope your cold gets better! x

Welcome to the new ones its always good to read your post.....

And on the last note i like to say,

A Big Congratulations to Mary 2years Af so glad your here Mary on mwo it means a lot and helps me a lot to always read your post, Thank you for all your support and advise.:l Have a lovely day and enjoy your day! God Bless You! x

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Congratulations Mary!!! ::l:happy::wd::yougo::rays:

K x

ps thanks catch, I am starting to feel better today

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Good Morning, All!!!!
:bday3::bday3:
Happy Birthday to Mary!!!!

Just wanted to congratulate Mary and let her know how much she has helped me on this journey. Your honest sharing of your experience, strength, and hope has been a huge blessing to me and I'm sure to many others here.

You were instrumental in opening my mind and my heart to the idea of AA. AA has made all the difference for me. I spent a great deal of time trying to avoid help from others thinking I could recover in secret just as I had drank in secret. I think the face-to-face contact as well as the accountability was what I really needed all along. Before, I was only accountable to myself, and found that I am very easy to fool and deceive.

Thank-You God for sharing Mary with us. You Rock!!!!!!!!


Happy Birthday!!

HG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27


:yougo:CONGRATULATIONS MARY ON 2 YEARS AF!!!:yougo:


I wish I could be there with you when you pick up your coin!! I too love your wisdom on this thread. Thank you for being here for the rest of us - sharing yourself every step of the way.

I too had a lot of pride getting in my way of recovery. Didn't want to be honest with others about my alcoholism. Worried about "what will they think." Worried about being seen parking at the Alano Club.

Working past those ego driven fears has been a blessing in my life. I just didn't know what a ball and chain it was - so limiting - to let my pride get in my way like that.

I see people I know from AA at other place.

I see people I know from other places at AA.

At first it felt SO scary.

Getting past that fear has been part of my growth, and in a very positive way.

I'm not a perfect person. I'm just another person with my own collection of strengths and weaknesses - learning and growing while I'm here on the planet and have the chance.

That's a HUGE improvement over what I used to be doing - trying to put on a facade that wasn't real, and dying inside the whole time.

Today, I would rather be "outed" as an AA member than give up my life today which is so much richer than I ever could have imagined at the end of my drinking career.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

First: Thank you all for your congrats. I feel pretty proud & happy. I'll be receiving my coin at Friday's meeting...from my sponsor. I'm excited.

Horsegirl: You put it so exactly right! I too thought I could recover in secret, just as I drank in secret. No one would be the wiser. I didn't understand the power of the fellowship & how much I needed it. When I think about it, how arrogant of me!

I've found AA, a whole lot of friends, & my sobriety of 730 days.

Mary

[InChains]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

A bit later than the rest but well done Mary on your 2 years! thats such an amazing achievment and you should be truly proud

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Again, I am proud. I feel stronger than ever, though I never, ever take my sobriety for granted. I will go to a meeting tonight, but tomorrow night will be special, as my sponsor will be giving me my coin. I've been reflecting on how different I am now that I've got 2 years sober.
-I'm not hiding anything.
-I have an HP today.
-I can say what I mean, mean what I say, wo/saying it mean.
-I'm getting back my self-esteem.
-I'm figuring things out...my feelings, my thoughts, my opinions, etc.
-I'm making friends who know the real me.
-I'm able to get through difficult situations wo/having to numb out.
-etc.

I haven't felt all of the promises of the program all the time, but I have felt many of them. I still have some regrets, but I feel them fading.

My daughter still has a hard time w/the cancer, but I can be there for her in a way that I never could.

Life is good.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Mary, I am so very very happy for you!! You show us on a daily basis that getting AL out of the picture is only the beginning of the work. But the rewards following the effort are all worth it. I'm so grateful to *know* you here.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

DG: Me too. You embraced the AA program amazingly. Sometimes I wonder how we got here...it's a miracle I guess. For me, it was about hitting a bottom & finally saying: "This is it! I don't want to & can't drink anymore." And yes, AA is not just about putting down the drink. It's a way of life. I've been reading: "As Bill Sees It" which my husb got me for my b-day. Bill says that over & over. Giving up the drink is the easy part. Living a good life is harder. Thank God I have the 12 steps as a guide. I could never do it on my own. I wouldn't know where to start...even if I did stop drinking (which I couldn't have on my own). Anyhow, I'm rambling.

Mary