Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

[retteacher]

Hi All: I just read the end of last week's thread. Sober living & socializing: I never thought I'd enjoy it. I too thought I'd "plod" through my life sober (if I could stay that way). I'm finding that I don't miss AL at all even in situations where it's served. I don't go to that many functions w/AL being served, because now we tend to focus on AA type socializing. However, seeing someone have a glass of wine doesn't bother me. Drunkenness does. In the 2 years I've been sober, we went to 1 function (a wedding) w/an open bar. We had to leave early.

In the beginning of my sobriety, we didn't have any AL in the house at all. Now, my husb keeps some for the occasional guests who come over & want something. He keeps it downstairs in the basement, but even if it wasn't out of sight, I don't think it would be a temptation. I don't have any open bottles of wine in the fridge, as that would be tempting fate too much. I honestly don't feel cravings, & the more sobriety I have, the less I feel like drinking.

This afternoon we're having some AA friends over for coffee & cake. We'll probably play a game & chat about the program. That's the type of socializing I especially enjoy. Something simple: a cup of coffee, a walk, a potluck, etc. This makes my drinking activities look so yucky. I come out of these types of activities feeling fine instead of headachy & hungover.

Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Hi Everyone, just reading last weeks thread and thanks for all that posted, always get a lot out of all your posts.:h
Mary i do try and keep away from wet places now....
Last thursday had a bit of resentment i served this lady in work she brought 4 litttle minature bottles of wine i could not help myself but ask her that its not cheap buying the little bottles but she said if she brought a big bottle she would only drink a little drop, and that she would only drink one little bottle with her dinner....I think i just needed to hear that, confirming to myself that i cannot just drink one glass or one bottle.
I have to come back running out of time Hope all is well with everyone.x

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Am back lol....manage to get extra time on the p.c...
Right where was i....
I have got to say my house is a no AL house. BUt if we have to buy (i dont buy it my hubby does) AL for other people, if we have a gathering, the alcohol is only in the house for that day i have to make sure it is out of sight or just throw it.
I went BB study y/day took my friend with me she really got a lot out of it she is 4days in and i got to say she always keeeps on trying. we had a really good laugh on the way home about my resentment, me serveing this woman in my work. Its good to know i can laugh about it now and not drink on it. Last night we read The family Afterward. Really got a lot out of the people that shared this guy shared what Fu&king family :H he did shared about how he was 5years sober and he went away on hoilday, thinking that he knew it all, he said if your going to go away dont go on a all inculsive holiday.
Got me thinking because my mother inlaw wants to treat us and pay for us to go away on holiday, but am not ready to go on holiday yet am still scared to even think about going away yet. There are somethings i can relate in bb like i become less communicative and this was after i stop drinking it took a long time for me to get to know me who i really am, even now i still feel like am trying to find myself, i must remember not to stare at my past and just look at it and move on. Also it says about we should balance it out, this i do, it is important for me. Also its says about that twisted way of thinking i still get that now.:H

keep safe all and take it easy:l

Oh the post i did a few weeks back about the other havle of the serenity prayer, i think that come from the bible! am still trying to find out.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Catch: Thanks for your thoughts. There's something in the BB on being around alcohol. I'm not sure what chapter it's in. Bill W. felt that it was unrealistic to try to quarantine ourselves from AL. He said (I paraphrase) that even if we relocated to the north pole, an Eskimo would probably show up w/a bottle of scotch in hand. AL is there & a part of life for normal drinkers.

I too have noticed those small bottles of wine & thought: What a waste of packaging. But, if you only have a little, they're practical.


Mary

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Hi all,

Happy monday (I had forgotten what day it is, have a bad cold so feeling pretty shabby)!

Regarding alcohol around the house - I don't have much choice as I live in a shared house, but I always make sure before people move in that they are not massive party animals. I find it is not really a problem having a bit of alcohol around though obviously I wouldn't have it if I lived alone.

I can also socialise quite happily in a bar or pub, though my patience starts wearing thin as time goes on and if people have had a bit too much. So I just leave if I need to. I have learned to develop a sort of amused detachment to people who have been drinking too much - it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I am always in a better state than them in the morning...

K x

[_EndOfTheLine_]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Had a horrible day, I have already hit the wall I think (after 8 days AF). I seem to hit it sooner and sooner these days. Its days like this I think that it is impossible to stay sober, I could barely get out of bed. How long does post quitting depression last, I can't stand it!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

End: I didn't have post-quitting depression. My depression (& humiliation, guilt, etc.) happened as a result of drinking. That said: I found relief in going to meetings. I was terribly nervous about it in the beginning, but I pushed myself. I desperately wanted to quit for good. I had a horrendous time in the last few months of my drinking & didn't want to go back there. I'm not sure if you said you attend meetings, but that's the only thing that worked for me. I love MWO, but I really needed human contact w/other drunks. Good luck. I know AA isn't for everyone, but you won't know until you try. I had a million pregudices about it, but desperation made me overcome them.


Mary

[_EndOfTheLine_]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Thanks for the reply. I began to fell better after I did a bit more reading and went for a walk, its shows how transient these things are. I do attend meetings but I don't tend to want to go when I'm pissed off! Anyway, I'm sure there are worse off out there!

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Glad you feel better now, EndOf. Yes it's important to recognise that these feelings come and go and are not a reason to drink.

Yeah I don't feel like going to meetings if I'm in a bad mood or down or whatever either, but I still do and they always make me feel better.

K x

[InChains]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Interesitng topic on avoiding AL. I don't have a choice about whether it's in the house as (being a bit of a youngster) I still live with my mum and siblings. I seem to be in the weird kind of limbo with my mother who implies she knows I have a problem - yet as she has never mentioned it I feel unable to ask her about storing the family drink out of plain sight. So far there is only one person in my life who is aware of the issue, and unfortunately he is an alcoholic (with a bit of denial going on I think too) so avoiding AL situations is I think going to prove difficult

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

TG!!!!!!! Welcome back my friend. How are you doing?

Speaking only for myself, it is usually pride getting in my way when I don't want to ask for the support I really need from close friends or family. I don't want to admit to them that I have a problem. I don't want to be seen as "weak" by asking for support or help. That kind of pride doesn't serve me very well. It leads me down a path of dishonesty.

Even though it can feel very uncomfortable and even scary, I rarely regret setting my pride aside and asking for the support I need. The people who really care about me WANT to support me.

IMO, admitting to a problem and asking that family members keep AL in an "out of your face" place would be very reasonable.

It's really good to see you.

DG

[InChains]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

Heya DG, long time no see right? I'm doing alright, been a bit of a crazy two years since i left this place though thats for sure haha. Glad to see you're still around and going strong Lookin' at the date in your sig looks like your coming up to 3 years! thats pretty amazing.

And I can sympathise with the pride thing, but I don't think I'm ready to tell anyone just yet, especially as I'm not far away from getting my own place and being able to choose for myself at long last!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

In chains: Our AL isn't in plain sight, but it is here. I know a person in AA who plays in a band & is in bars all the time. He's been sober for many years & says that when it becomes an issue he'll deal w/a new profession. In the meantime, he's OK.

End: I subdued all my emotions w/AL. I didn't know what they were until I got sober. The hardest part of being sober is taking life on life's terms. Just because I got sober, my life didn't suddenly get perfectly care-free. I actually encountered the biggest challenge of my life (my daughter being diagnosed w/breast cancer) right after my 1st anniv. in AA. I managed to get through the crisis sober & learned a lot about myself in the process.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

I too have a lot of pride. I'm much more accustomed to being the helper rather than the helpee. It's great having a sponsor, because I can step out of the wise woman, know-it-all role that people sometimes see me in...a role I've fostered over the years. I like that I can show weakness & humility in AA & don't have to be perfect.

Mary

[InChains]

Weekly AA Thread - Mar. 21 - Mar. 27

I've always been a similar way, always supporting a family member or friend when things got tough - I've learnt to be a very withdrawn person emotionally these last couple of years. I've always liked the idea of having a sponsor but I wouldn't be comfortable going to AA - I don't think I could cope with the religous aspect and also being vulnerable around other people. I have nothing against religion, just some bad childhood memories (a mixture of horror films and a priest who liked to talk about hell alot, I'm still scared to go into churches alot of the time) and I am also painfully shy around people and tend to put on a huge, ridiculous act of confidence around them - I could never be myself.