AF Daily - Thursday March 24

[Doggygirl]

Hey fabbies! Happy Thursday! Hope everyone is having a solid AF day.

Yesterday was a lazy day for me. I thought it would be nice to just play it low key, hang out in the office, get stuff caught up. I ended up not doing much catch up, not getting much accomplished, and not feeling all that great about myself or my day at the end of it. This morning I'm trying to make sense of why I feel this way. I think being at home all day has a certain feel to it that reminds me of the isolation and hopelessness of the drinking days. My old life was characterized in the end by having some grand ideas for the day (which included "I won't drink today") but then I would end up drinking and getting nothing accomplished. So I don't feel comfortable with days where nothing gets accomplished, even though I'm sober now.

Anyway...just curious if anyone else ever feels that way and if so, what YOU make of it!

One thing is for sure....there will be NO drinking today for this girl!

DG

[momof3]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Good Morning All,

Thanks for starting us off DG. Good to see you here in the am. Yes, yes. I can relate to what you are talking about. I am not comfortable with idle days and when I don't have stuff on my agenda, I end up spending too much time on the computer or hanging out doing nothing. For me, I think it has to do with getting more comfortable having days such as this...to learn to have a day of rest and relaxation. I have been thinking alot about this. I feel as if I need to create more space and ease in my life and not feel like I'm having to "do" something at every moment.

I have been sick with a real nasty cold that just won't quit. Coughing til the wee hours in the morning. My body feels like a dish rag. No exercise this week so I feel like double crap. A cold is alot easier to handle than a daily hangover for sure. For that I am grateful. Plus, longer days and warmer weather are here. Spring is my favorite time of year!

M3

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Morning fabs!

I'm on that page too, M3 & DG. But I don't think I equate it with past AL consumption. I'm just the busy type. I've been toying with the idea of getting a firepit. I thought I wanted one, then said no.... I have a hard time sitting still and without another person there to "anchor" me, I probably won't use it, being una ble to just "sit there". Now I'm BACK on the page of getting it because I think using it and staring at the flames, coals, etc. would help me learn to sit still and have that quiet time. I mean quiet time in terms of quieting the mind, meditative sense. Good timing now that summer's approaching, eh?

Feel better soon, Dr. M3

Off to stretching class. Check back later!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

M3, I am so sorry you are fighting a cold! I too was quite excited about the arrival of spring. Now this morning there is a dusting of snow on the porch. :upset: Sounds like you know exactly what I'm talking about with the R&R days. I always look forward to having one, and then never seem to feel good about it in the end. I guess that means another learning opportunity on the horizon! I can't wait for the Fabbie wisdom on this one.

DG

[momof3]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

greeneyes;1083550 wrote: Morning fabs!

I mean quiet time in terms of quieting the mind, meditative sense. Good timing now that summer's approaching, eh?

Yes Greenie, this is what I mean too. I want to be more comfortable with "being" not always "doing."

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Good Thursday morning Abbers!

I certainly can relate to the topic of being unable to sit still - have been that way all my life! I think maybe I have a touch of hyperactivity!? As long as I have a useful way to channel that energy, I'm OK. I know I can be rather judgmental about 'lazy people'. I just don't understand why some people won't get off their butts & do the things they 'should' be doing

Feel better soom M3! Spring time colds always seem extra harsh :l

Greenie, I have a spot in the yard where I burn things. It's just a spot, nothing fancy but if I pile enough stuff & light it off we can roast marshmallows :H EB loves it!!!

Speaking of EB, he will be here this afternoon while his Mom is in class. So I'd better get some things done now so I don't have to write off the entire day

Have a good day all!
Lav

[Sarasmiles]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Good Morning Ab Fabbers!

Lavande, I was so glad to read that things went well with YB last night. Amazing how often we worry about things in advance, only to find that they're not as bad as we'd feared.

DG and all...Quiet days tend to make me very anxious. As a mother of 3, with a part time job, any "down time" feels like "time I should be getting something done". Sometimes my mind is just racing...should I do the laundry, or work out, or clean the bathrooms, or organize closets...there are days when I feel I haven't gotten much done because I've been so stressed out about choosing what to do! Even if I go out shopping, I'm often feeling torn...like I should be home getting something accomplished. I would like to work on living in the moment, being mindful of what I'm doing, and letting go of what I'm not.

One thing that's different for me in taking this most recent (and final/forever) AF path, is that I don't feel guilty taking time to read and post here. It is part of my recovery, and my recovery is not a selfish act. I may have to behave in ways that I once would have considered "selfish"...taking time for myself when there are chores I could be doing for my family. But I no longer feel it's selfish to take the time I need to heal and grow. Everyone in my life will benefit from it in the end. I lost that grip last weekend when I decided to clean the house instead of going to a SMART meeting. I'm going to try to hang onto it.

Have a good, sober day all. I am most definitely, positively, absolutely, NOT going to poison my brain or body today!

Sara

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Hi Greenie! X-post! Your fire pit sounds awesome. I know what you mean though about not using things - and I think we are onto something here with the "quiet" things. There is a hot tub sitting on my porch all fired up and ready to go. I can sit in there and just relax and enjoy the swirly water any time. But I never do.

momof3;1083554 wrote: Yes Greenie, this is what I mean too. I want to be more comfortable with "being" not always "doing."

Ditto yes - the "mind racing" and physical racing to go with it.

Lav, your burn pile sounds cool.. Mr. Doggy LOVES his burn pile!! EB sounds so cute with this stuff. Have fun today!

Sara, I'm with you 100% on recovery activities not being "selfish" or "lazy." You are right on with that I think!

Well, I'm going to try this relaxed day thing again today. I got a little office work done this morning, and there are a few more things that need my attention today. But I cancelled a couple other things that will still be there tomorrow. I'm heading off shortly to run a couple of errands and get my nails done. Then after that I shall play it by ear try to just "be" a little. Maybe doing that in the hot tub would be good.

Thanks you guys for always being here and sharing. It means a lot to me and I learn so much from each of you!!!

DG

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Noooooooo! Give me a day with nothing to do and I'm as happy as a pig in the proverbial. Although sometimnes I do have trouble relaxing, mostly I'm pretty good at it!

Greenie - fire pit sounds great. Ditto the hot tub, DG. Both sound great for relaxing and also sort of giving you something *to do* so maybe you won't feel you're doing *nothing*.

Still a bit nippy here but days of lovely spring sunshine.

Greenie, will definitely be taking pix in Greece. I'm hoping to buy a new, better camera when I'm in Noo Yoik next month (along with a whole list of clothes to restock my wardrobe, oh, and the GF wants an iPad).

Hi to Lav, Mom3 and Sara!
Gotta zoom. Unfortunately it's not a "do nothing" day today :H Have a good day all!

[momof3]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Sounds like I could learn something from you about relaxing Marshy!!

That so many of us have trouble sitting still or quieting our minds makes me wonder if this made/makes us more vulnerable to drinking.

Sara, you have the right attitude!

Lav, YB REPORT please.

M3

[shelbysmiles]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Can I join you on this thread?

I used to post a while back but quit. (Not drinking, posting!) I'm really nervous to post again but my drinking has reached new levels that are scary. My latest is falling down. I've fallen down my stairs but the worst was falling down in front of my kids last night. I need some support! I want to quit desperately. I've tried so many things including Baclofen but nothing has helped. I can't do this on my own. I plan to go to an AA meeting this Saturday.

I think this would be a great thread for me to post on because I can not pick up the bottle again. It's scary to think what might happen the next time I fall. I'm scared I might not get up.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Hi Shelby and welcome. I hope you will post lots on this thread!!!! :welcome:

I am an AA goer and I have found it very helpful. For me, face to face support from people who truly understand what it's like is priceless. There is also a Weekly AA thread in this Monthly Abs section of the forum and that's also a good place to share or ask AA related questions. (those questions / sharing are also welcome on this thread!)

I can relate to things getting worse and starting to fall down. I remember falling backwards into band members at a wedding reception. Not only was my family there but also my boss. One time I was on an award cruise for work - top honors in the company. My boss was there and all the executives and my most successful (by sales standards anyway) peers. I got drunk the first night and fell in the bathroom. I hit my head on the edge of the sink and spent the rest of the cruise with a HORRIBLE black eye. I thought I would die of embarrassment. (I still had a long way to go though, before I saw AL as a problem!)

Anyway...I understand and I know everyone here does too. Read, post, don't drink. :l

DG

[bear73]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

hey all flying in bought a smart recovery book by philip tate great

[shelbysmiles]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Thanks DG! It was hard to admit here what happened last night!

I'm going to stick close to the boards this time. And ask for help. That's so hard for me to do.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Hi shelby! I remember you & I'm so glad you're here :l You can do it and you'll be SO glad!!

Hi bear!