AF Daily - Thursday March 24

[caper564]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Hi,
i can relate to a couple fo things here. the "mind racing" I would drink so I could sleep at night and just relax. or thats what i told myself.
and making a fool of myself while drunk. I did so many stupid things when I was drunk that I conditioned myself to wake up feeling guilty first, then try to remember what I had done or said the night before. its a terrible way to live.

one time i was in a bar at a long table in the corner. i was at the end and I had to ask everyone to move so i could get out to go to the bathroom. there was about 12 of us. it had been a couple of hours and i drank beer after beer.. then i felt it, I needed to throw up.. right at that moment. everyone was talking and laughing, not really noticing me. and yes i leaned over and puked on the floor of the bar right next to my seat. The saddest part is nobody noticed because they were all so drunk. I staggered to my feet and excused myself and went home. sad sad times

[Sarasmiles]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Welcome Shelby and Caper564!

Falling down is a scary thing. I have a friend whose thirty-something sister died when she fell down drunk and hit her head. It was shocking and terrifying to hear about, but it didn't stop me from drinking. It's amazing how we have found ways to convince ourselves that we don't have to quit.

I also once fell down in front of my oldest son. I think it was about three years ago, so he was 8 at the time. I'll never forget the fear in his eyes when he looked down at me and said, "Mommy??? are you all right???" I still didn't quit. Oh, I quit for a couple of weeks, I guess. Then I was determined to just drink less; keep it under control. I must say it's a great joy to know that if I choose never to drink again, I am choosing to be sure that I will never fall down drunk again! Isn't it great, really, that we can make this choice? It never has to happen again, Shelby. And Caper, you never again have to throw up in a bar after drinking beer after beer. And one thing's for sure, Doggygirl, you will never again fall backwards into a band at a reception, or hit your head on a bathroom sink because of drunkenness. All we have to do is make this choice, and make it stick.

My kids have been getting on my nerves this afternoon, bickering with each other, and I've had a few moments of remembering that familiar impulse to drink in order to try and ease the irritation. It's helped already to come here and read your posts, and to be reminded about falling down in front of my dear, dear son.

I'm going out tonight, to a friend's house for dinner with a group of people I did a YMCA team training program with. I imagine they'll all drink. The hostess has already made a point of it. I am bringing a big salad and Grapefruit-Perrier. I think my biggest fear is that I will feel like I'm boring. Too quiet. Not fun and relaxed like everyone else will be after a couple of drinks. But I also know that even if that's the case, that doesn't make it worthwhile to drink. So what if I'm boring, or quiet or shy? I'd rather be any or all of those things than be drunk or hungover, or ever again fall down in front of my children. Hell, it would be better to say I don't feel well and LEAVE than to drink. Anything would be better. As I try to remind myself, no one ever says, "did you see that woman at the party who was kind of quiet and a little shy?? She sure made a fool of herself!"

I plan to check in when I get home to let you know I didn't drink. I like to be accountable.

Be Well Everyone! Stick with us, Shelby and Caper!

Sara

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Welcome caper. Glad to have you with us too!! Wow - so many stories we can all relate to!!

Sara, you are SO right. I would much rather have people wonder why I'm being quiet and shy than wondering why I'm drunk and making an a$$ of myself!!!! When I read "grapefruit perrier" my mouth started to water. That sounds really good.

You know, for whatever ups and downs that go on in my life right now, I truly don't have the compulsion to drink. Not yesterday and not today. Can't say what will happen tomorrow, but it's really a relief that I am no longer fighting those types of cravings and urges. I am grateful!!

I just heard from a woman I know from AA. She has really struggled getting a short time of sobriety and then relapsing. A little sober time then relapsing. Inside she is a beautiful person - just stuck in the AL rut like the rest of us. Hearing her describe the things that seem to happen when she drinks just made it so clear how we are truly STUCK when we are drinking. It is only with continued sobriety that we can truly make forward progress and really start healing. A couple months on then a couple months off just keeps us on the merry go round of addiction....

One thing is for sure...a Snickers bar might not be safe from me tonight, but AL is.

DG

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

OK - screw this relaxation stuff. (just kidding) Where's G-Man? I'm working the Buddy Guy concert Saturday night. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CVNfZy-dgc&feature=related[/video]]YouTube - Buddy Guy plays the blues.

WOO HOO!

DG

[jane jane]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

I'm in, if it's okay. Three weeks and two days without a drop, so I'm finally officially declaring myself an abber. And damned glad to be one!

Spent all morning gardening in the beautiful spring weather, exercised, worked on some decorating projects, and made a delicious veggie quiche for supper: spinach, roasted red peppers, artichoke hearts, and three cheeses---quite good!

Love this sober life!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

:welcone: jane jane! Congratulations on your AF progress! Those early days are not easy so GOOD FOR YOU!!! :yougo::yougo: So what sort of gardening are you doing?

DG

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Hi Shelby, caper & jane!
Glad to see you all here posting tonight in the serious about being sober thread

Sara, a day with the kids is a day with the kids.....I remember
Hope your night out is not troublesome for you!

Wow DG - Buddy Guy! That's awesome!!!!
Maybe G will surprise you & just jump in & play along

Had a nice dinner with my son & grandson. I picked up a fire truck bubble machine at Walgreens for EB. You would have thought I bought him a real fire truck, he was so excited :H

Hope everyone is having a good evening. It's downright chilly here in these parts. Not sure what happened to Spring

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

jane jane!! Yay for you!! So glad to have you here too! And caper, I hope you stick around.

Since AF, I can't remember the last bruise I had. That is all.

Buddy Guy! Sweeeet, DG!

BTW, the firepit thing I like showed up on sale in a flyer that came in the mail today!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Hey Lav! Can I come over and play with EB's Firetruck Bubble Machine? Sounds like fun!!!

Greenie! The fire pit is clearly meant to be. The XDrunk has spoken.

DG

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Hey All!
Greenie-I've been toying with a fire pit myself for almost a year. My sis has one I can have-all I have to do is spray paint it cuz the rust is pretty bad. I don't know if I can sit still long enough to enjoy it all by myself tho. Anyway, it kismit that the one you want is on sale. Go for it!!

I'm with everyone else about the busyness part of me. I cannot sit still. I can't even watch more than 1/2 hour of tv without doing something during the commercials. I just have no interest anymore!!
I do think I used the AL to fall asleep. I still can't fall asleep without some kind of help but at least it's not AL. Just picked up the new issue of Women's World. On the cover is somthing about new high tech pajamas that help you sleep. Can't wait to read that one!! :H

M3-so sorry you're fighting the nasties. I have a slight cold but nothing serious yet.

Welcome to Shelby, Caper and Jane Jane! Congrats on the 3 weeks JJ!!
That's awesome!

Sarah-I do hope you check in tonite. Sounds like a sketchy situation to put yourself in but you sounded strong and resolved. Hope you had fun!

I'm sure i did some stupid things too when drinking but I can't remember them! :H No that's not true. My last broken wrist was a direct result of AL and back in 2002 I think, in front of my family and my brother's friends, I almost fell into a firepit that was lit!! Luckily I missed it and only ruined my white capris. Of course I had a mother of a hangover the next day and had to go to a college fair that was held in a solarium with NO AC!! I can't beleive I didn't get sick!!! Those are the 2 events that stick out in my mind.

Nice dinner at dad's tonite. We switched cars so he could bring mine in for repairs. $940 later I have new bushings, links, a swaybar and 4 new tires (do not ask me what those all do, and why they cost $400 except for the tires of course!!). Now I don't rock in my car like it was a boat and there's no groaning when I go over bumps. Brakes are next but hopefully can wait until the fall. Anyway, dad made me salmon (yummo), asparagus and baked potato. I was so happy to tell him I finally got an interview at the college where he is a professor emeritus and which I've lived across the street from for 16 years. I've applied for numerous jobs there, been interviewed twice but obviously never got the positions. I feel like the 3rd time will be the charm. the position is perfect for me. It's not a promotion but the money might be better than what I'm making now. Its going back to admissions but on the community college level which is a whole different ball game than what I did before in admissions. Interview is April 8th. I'll be asking for pings and prayers as the day gets closer.

Where's Cassia? Hope things are going well in the NYC, PA and NJ for her.
:l

[Sarasmiles]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Hey Everyone! It's 5 minutes to midnight, so I'm just making the cut-off for the Thursday thread! My dinner/evening went well, and although I was the only person not drinking, it really didn't bother me. No one drank much except the hostess, who had four glasses of wine and got a little silly. I felt pretty relaxed and not particularly shy. I had a moment when I went to the bathroom that I looked in the mirror and felt so grateful to see that sober woman looking back at me. So grateful not to be in there holding my head in my hands and trying to keep it together.

Welcome and Congrats, JaneJane!

DG -what does "working the Buddy Guy show" mean? I mean, I know who Buddy Guy is, but what will you do? I have this confused image of Mary Kay sales and weight watchers counseling at a Blues show....:H

Lav- You sound like such a wonderful Grandma. I wish my kids had a grandma who was as attentive as you.

papmom, that's exciting news, about the interview. Very cool!

Greenie...A firepit sounds lovely. We have a ring of rocks we use as a fire pit, but it gets messy and hard to clean up. The pit sounds much more elegant!

Hi and love to everyone else....12:09 now, so maybe I'm closing down Thursday's thread.

Sara

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday March 24

Sara, it sure is (was!) a lot of work to drink and try to maintain a facade of sobriety, wasn't it? Good foryou on the evening. These days I too find I'm not as shy and uncomfortable as I thought I was. Finding myself I guess!

I recently trained for volunteer work at our local Theatre. So Saturday is my first night on the job. I will probably be ushering but who knows! The Rialto Square Theatre

I also signed up for Dionne Warwick and Lucille Ball. And the Organ Extravaganza.

I would love to give all of them including Buddy Guy a facial. That group is probably pretty scary up close.

DG