Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

[keg]

Well, I have gone 7 months AF...and this during the 4th of July, Thanksgiving,Christmas and new Years! Now my husband and I agreed that I would try moderating. 2 glasses with dinner, an after-dinner drink to get us in the mood, 2 glasses at his office gathering. Somehow, that has thrown me back into my old ways! I drink alone and once I get started, I can't stop. I've dissapointed my husband once again and I am beating myself up with the Whys? What caused me to do this? I know now that I cannot take that first drink. xanax is getting me through today and for tonight. Then, I'm back to AF. I actually liked being AF so I'm not sure where this came from. Anyone else have a relapse story and got back on track? would love to have some encourage:l:hment...

[mollyka]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

Hi Keg, yep, I also relapsed after about 6 months and then again after bout 8 months
I also love being sober - I didn't 'slip', I planned it both times. I didn't enjoy the drinking, I didn't enjoy the consequences, my only saving grace was that I pretty much got straight back on the wagon. I have no idea why I did it, I was devastated both times. I think it is just the power that alcohol has over us as alkies. My spin on this (for me) is to learn from both experiences. I KNOW I cannot moderate now. Maybe without those two occasions I wouldn't know and that would be at the back of my mind.
Anyway, Keg, truly cut it short. The longer you drink the harder it will be to get back on course. You'll have a tricky few days, be prepared for them - but literally within days you will start feeling good - about yourself, your health, your family, it does come back very quickly. The one thing that I found difficult that I lost and to a certain extent still have lost is the 'trust' of my family. No one to blame but myself, and it is only with a sober life that I can gain that trust back
Sending you hugs:l
Molly

[mylife]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

Hello Kegs,
I agree with Molly. I tried Modding after some AF time and I was soon back in my old habits as well. Best to get back on track as soon as possible. You can do it.

[Lavande]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

keg,

The important thing is you have learned that you cannot take that first drink - period!
It doesn't matter what your husband or anyone else thinks - you know the truth now!

I started & stopped so many times on my own over the years, it was discouraging. I thought I was a total loser. Finding MWO & finally learning the truth about myself made all the difference for me

Stick with us - you can do it too
Wishing you the best!

Lav
2 years AF today!!!

[Doggygirl]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

Hi Keg. I too had to have a go at "moderating" (well, there was nothing "moderate" about it) after a period of abstinence. I feel a bit like Mollyka does about it - I think it was something that for me, had to occur in order for me to 100% accept that I am alcoholic and cannot safely drink, ever. It was truly a gift for me to finally understand and accept that fact.

I hope it is your gift as well.

Rule making - whether my own rules (i.e. I won't drink until after 5pm, and then only 2...) or someone else's rules (you shouldn't drink more than 1 at this luncheon...) just DID.NOT.WORK. The only thing that works for me is 100% abstinence.

I hope you find yours again. I know you can!!!

DG

[jane jane]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

I absolutely agree with Doggygirl!

[Newgrange]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

Thanks

Hi Keg and all.

This is my first post but this rings true for me too. This is my second real attempt to give up alcohol. Did really well for several months AF and then at a celebration I slipped and have been slipping since. In truth I slipped into poor health completely due to the constant excessive intake of alcohol. I never missed a day at work, usually drank at home only in the evenings and was on a destructive treadmill going nowhere. The health issue gave me a much needed jolt.

This is day 18 AF for me and things are ok so far. I gain huge courage from all of you here and thanks. I have a long way to go but with insight this time round.

Without alcohol I feel alive and more energetic. abstinence is the only way for me.

Good luck Keg and congrats Lavande on 2 years AF. Thanks keg for posting this.


I like the toolbox and read it daily.

Newgrange

[Doggygirl]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

:welcome: Newgrange and congrats on your great AF progress! Guess this "can't mod" lesson is one that many of us have to learn the hard way. The important thing is that we learn it!!!! Don't be a stranger!

DG

[keg]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

Thanks to everyone for your posts. Yes, this has been the "gift" I needed to show myself that I can't mod safely. I need to remain AF. I was resisting AA (have been several times, but never felt connected), plus my husband and I are very social and almost all of my friends drink--at Book club, at dinners, at brunch after church, etc. i honestly thought that with so much AF time under my belt that it would not be difficult to slip back into the social scene with a few drinks here and there. I was wrong, because most of my drinking ended up being at home alone after a long day with the kids. I'd allow myself "just two" but we all know the bottle was emptied. Every time. Sometimes another was opened. I don't know why, but i guess this bump in the road has really made me accept that I am an alcoholic. I am an alcoholic. there, I said it. I must accept this. Your posts have helped me to see the light. Thank you. You will see me on here more often now.

[Hippy Chick]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

Hi Keg.

I can soooooo relate to your post. I found MWO January 2010 and was sober for 7 months thanks to these lovely people here and this fantastic program. Then..... I was like you... thought with all those months AF I would be able to handle a drink or two. Thought I had beaten the beast..... thought I was different to everyone else and did it without putting in the hard work.

But!

I was wrong! And now after a six month binge I am back and sober for 6 days now. I have finally realised that there is no moderating for me. I was told at the start that if all you change is the contents of your glass, you wont suceed and as that is all I did, that is what happened. I could recite all the sayings related to drinking that anyone could, but as I didnt put them into action, I suffered.

I am so pleased you have discovered MWO and keep visiting us. Join us in the newbies nest, alot of similar stories there.

Hippy

[Stargazerlily]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

Keg,
I too have an allergy to alcohol, and that one drink is never enough for me. I have tried so many times to have the normal one or two drinks, and as soon as I have the first hit of alcohol going down my throat, it sends an insatiable urge for more. Exactly like people with food allergies, they crave the thing they are allergic to, and gorge on it. I love this program because it addresses the physical, biological piece of this, and the supplements and vitamins help so much. AA and MWO address the psychological needs of education, support, spirituality and understanding, and we have to accept that one drink is too many, a thousand isn't enough.

Keep close to MWO and keep trying, so many of us do and find a new and worthwhile life, free of shame, sickness and guilt. Instead we find peace, strength, and hope.

[papmom3]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

Keg-There isn't much more i can add here. I too relapsed twice but neither time was an attempt at moderation which I knew deep down I couldn't do. I finally faced the truth that I have no OFF switch and therefore can't afford to engage the ON switch anymore. With the help of this community, supplements, lots of reading and a belief there is a better life on the other side I have been successfully AF for almost a year. There's been a lot of onion peeling, feels of deprivation and how "unfair" it all is I can't drink "normally" but slowly I accepted the reality and the truth. You can too. There are so many great threads in this community that meet all sorts of needs. I hope you find the one or 10 that meet yours and stick to them like glue. You have the whole world (literally) waiting to help you out-all you have to do is ask. Good luck with your journey and hope to see you around the boards!

NewGrange-great job on your stretch of AFness-keep it up!

MollyKA and HC-so good to see you guys! i've missed you and feel bad you've both been struggling so but glad to see you back on the horse. PM if you want so we can catch up!!

:l

[spacebebe01]

Slip up/relapse? How to deal with it?

Hi, I have relapsed so many times in the past but that does not mean total defeat, the only way imho to deal with relapse is to learn something from it, start to make a new plan and look forward to a great future. The alternative to me seems to be to wallowing in guilt, if only's and regret, which only help fuel the alcohol cravings.
Get all the help and support you can, and good luck for a happy life, you can do it.