April Appreciation AF - week 1

[Newgrange]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Hello everyone. What a great post chill girl. Happy April.

Today I went for a late lunch with a dear friend and indeed our jobs are similar, high stress. We rarely take time out but when we do we tend to enjoy our share of alcohol. When it came to ordering wine I said I was not drinking alcohol. This was met with disbelief. I said no and immediately confided that the reason I had given up was because I could not control it and that there was a strong relationship between the stress of work and drinking at home which was no life at all and I have stopped.

Throughout the meal I was surrounded by bottles of wine stacked in wine racks a few inches from my eye level! She admitted that she too drinks too much. I drank sparkling water and she drank wine. We enjoyed the chat and I feel well, clear headed and sober.

A small significant milestone on my AF journey.

Thanks for the support.

[Chillgirl]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

:goodjob: Newgrange

That was by no means a "small" milestone, that was a HUGE significant milestone and I hope you are feeling very proud of yourself. When I 1st quit I told my girlfriends I was having a month detox then I just carried it on and said I preferred not drinking. I actually wish I had come clean and told them all the truth at the beginning. Im sure there has been much speculation behind my back and it would have been better for me to explain it to them. Now it never comes up in conversation so I think its fantastic that you came clean and were honest. I really believe that speeds our healing process, so well done!

[Newgrange]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Thanks Chillgirl. I am really delighted and I will have no hangover tomorrow!

[mario]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Chill Girl;
[B wrote: "This month I choose to be aware of my thoughts. It is my goal to only choose those that contribute to my well-being and that make me feel good......"[/B

:good job: That's going to be my motto for this week and people I will be meeting chillgirl in person again this monthusual place usaul herbal tea & cappuccino

[Lavande]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Hi Newgrange!
Great to hear that you did so well with your friend & lunch - nothing like progress

Mario, that motto Chill posted is a good one for each & everyone of us to use this month

Just had a short but nice visit with my daughter & granddaughter :l

[papmom3]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Happy April everyone!!

Chill-wonderful summary! Thank you so much for taking the time to do this every month! RE: RLS-I have read that intense exercise too close to bed will definitely set of RLS so I think you have your connection. IT's definitely not mine however!! :H I think have always had it-even as a kid but just didn't know what it was. Hope you never experience it again!
Chill-I am SOOOOOO happy for you on your move!! I know you'll miss the warmth and beauty of Portugual but being home among friends and family will be so good for you! I'm sure you will have no trouble renting out the house. I LOVE your idea of driving back to Scotland. How cool is that that you can actually drive the whole way!! It will be slower but less stressful for you and doggie. Just make sure to get that 4WD fixed up real good and safe! Yee haw!!

Dill-welcome back from NO!! So glad you had a fabulous time and were able to stay AF!!

NG-what an awesome day you had! You did fantastic!! Now just keep this feeling right in front of you!!

I had to catch up on 3 days of posts and already my brain is fogging up trying to remember everything. I haven't eaten dinner yet so that is proabably one reason. I read them all believe me and all of you are in my thoughts constantly.

Will check in tomorrow.

:l

[Stargazerlily]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Good morning to all....

Chill, like your plans....what an adventure. Would you feel comfortable sharing reasons you are going back to Scotland? I guess I just want to compare my own situation. My husband has wanted to move to a warmer climate, Florida or Arizona. I have not shared that desire because I want to be close to family, and weather is not the main determinant to me. I know that if we moved, I would see my daughter only once a year, if that on average. That does not include my Dad during the summer when he is back in the Midwest, and my good friends live here too. So, just wondered. It is so interesting, the life choices we make. I am fascinated by our stories, our journeys and our progress or lack of. Thanks for sharing as much as you do Chill, again, you have helped me so much.:l

Newgrange, welcome. It is huge to go out with friends who are drinking alcohol and choose to drink tea, or whatever. Huge. I always find I have a much better time AF. I am able to really enjoy myself, not drug induced. I laugh harder, am quicker witted, remember everything and have no regrets. Surprise Surprise.

Dill, so pleased for you, AF in New Orleans, that is quite a feat. You and I have gone back and forth so many times, right now we are both in a good place, AF for weeks/months. I just have to remember that the one hour or so of drinking is not worth the 24-36 hours of feeling ill, anxious, etc. I am feeling stronger and stronger and will soon be in the triple digits, not bragging, just humbly grateful this time. Also, feeling increased health and confidence.

That said, I am fighting a bug of some kind. I wish I could just stay home, curl up on the couch and rest, but I have stuff to do with friends and don't want to cancel. I guess I must not be that sick.

Greetings to all of you lovely people, have a great AF Saturday.

[Chillgirl]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Good Morning Appreciators

Star - I wish I could sum up the "why" of my move but its a million little things. I was listening to Anthony Robbins yesterday talk about the pain v joy that we all subject ourselves too. There is a point when the pain becomes too much, i.ie. a bad relationship, miserable job, unhappy with our drinking, eating, lifestyle etc. These things have caused us pain for many years but we reached a point when the pain was too much. Then we act to change things. Its only then we can really look back and see that we were suffering all that time and didnt do anything about it. Its really interesting, wouldnt it be great if we could move that pain point back a bit, endure it for less time before we reach the point of having to change it.

Sorry I digress :H I woke up the other morning, it was really cold and I ran through, made a cup of tea then got back into bed and thought to myself, I've had enough! Life is passing me by. Its a really slow unsophisticated way of life here and if you are financially comfortable and have a partner its great! You can play golf, wine and dine, entertain and enjoy the sunshine. All the things that are now of no interest to me.

I have to rebuild my life. I believe in divine timing and this is it! I took the well needed time to get sober and build my strength to face the big wide world again. Here I have a beautiful peaceful way of life but there are no job prospects or events to plug into. I need to start living again, I want people, towns, night classes I can go too, maybe the chance of meeting a nice guy. It will be 10 years in Sept we made our plans to move here. I want to be gone by then.
I also need to leave behind Oliver (my husband) or I will never learn to let go :upset:

The UK is home, it doesnt matter where you go in the world, where you came from doesnt change. When you are vunerable, like a child wants its mother, I want the UK. I have both my parents living and two wonderful sister who would do anything for me and it will be nice to spend more time with them. Im a bit of a loner and would be happy to settle in a new town where I knew no one but my 1st stop will be the town where my parents live as they are going to take care of my dog while I find work.

Now the decision is made I want to go today!! Im SO excited about the fact I have no idea what lies ahead of me, that is a real thrill. Papmom, even the road trip will be exciting and I will be much happier knowing my dear dog is with me.

[Lavande]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

GM Kids!

Chill, I am very excited for you & understand your need to move on

I'm going thru a bit of that 'needing to make some changes feeling' myself. I am going to stay put in my home but I am thinking about certain changes within my home. I have been in a super duper throwing junk out mood And that includes YB's stuff too since he ran off in such a hurry & left it all sitting here.

Yesterday I emptied my hope chest & tossed my wedding gown & also my mother's - really don't need them for anything, do I? I want to get rid of the chest itself as it was a gift from YB before we were married. It just doesn't do anything for me anymore. I found a box full of letters & things I saved from as early as 1970. Reading a few of the letters he wrote back then.......what an eye opener!!!! His thinking was as messed up then as it is now! Why the hell did I think that was OK???
I really thought he would settle down & relax once he got away from his abusive family - I sure as hell did! Now I know my thinking was wrong as well.

Well, on that bright note I will wish everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[Chillgirl]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Lav - I love throwing out stuff! Luckily I weed a lot as I go so its not going to be a huge task. There is something soooo therapeutic about getting rid of stuff, its almost like "dare I?" oh yes I do and it feels great!!!

[DSLR]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Hi Chill, reading your post made my spin tingle, I feel exactly the same!

I live in France and during the process of planning to be AF (D Day will be Monday 4th) I decided that one of the reasons I am so unhappy and drink to blot out the pain is due to how I feel about being here now. Lovely country, great people, but it's just not where I need/want to be, so I can understand how you feel.

Wishing you all the very best for your move back to the UK and well done for being so strong.

[Chillgirl]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

DSLR - :thanks:
Are you from the UK? Any plans to go back?

For me its not that im unhappy here at all. I have done a lot of work on myself and im truly happy on the inside. I think now I could be happy wherever I am. It because I feel that way that I now have the confidence to make the decision to move, whereas before I was paralysed by fear.
Wherever you go, there you are.

[papmom3]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Actually I'd like to rent a dumpster and just TOSS all the junk instead of putting it on freecycle or craigs list or take it to Savers. Soooo time consuming and I just want the junk gone and the house ready to get cleaned and painted. I sooo want to move out of this *&^% city. However, patience patience. Gotta get through my interview next Friday first and then make a decision based on whether I get the job or not. If I do, it sure would be nice to walk to work for a change and come home at lunch and let the pups out. In that case, making changes inside like Lav makes a ton of sense as well as refinancing for a lower interest rate. However if I don't get the job then house hunting begins in earnest and I will probably get that dumpster!!:H

Lav-it sounds like you are ready to move on and leave YB in your dust!! How eyeopening those old letters were! Now you know for sure-it's never been you!!! Welcome to the second half of your life-your possibilities are endless!! :h

Welcome DSLR!! Good luck on your start date and stick close to us for support and to get through the tough trigger times.

[dill]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." ~ Winston Churchill

I am loving the positive "can do" attitudes that are shining through these posts.

It's a cloudy, drizzly day here so I've been busying myself with indoor activities like reading and cooking. I have some pork loin and cabbage in the crockpot and it is smelling pretty good. I hope everyone is enjoying an AF Saturday.

[sooty]

April Appreciation AF - week 1

Hi everyone, sorry I couldn't get on yesterday to wish you all a Happy April.

There seems to have been lots going on in just one day - we are a busy lot.

Chill - your move sounds exciting - what a journey you are going to have, you'll see lots of nice places on your way back to Scotland. I hope your dog is a good traveller!

And Lav the writing is always on the wall - I think it takes us a long time to see it. My first husband sounds like YB and I think I always knew our relationship was doomed - I just thought that I could help him change and how wrong was I !

Well Mr Sweep is watching the rugby and its quite stressful sitting here cos he keeps shouting at the screen so I think I'll take myself upstairs for a bath and a quick meditate. I hope I don't fall asleep cos its too early for bedtime.

Have a good Saturday folks, I've been for a nice walk this afternoon and dare I say it - I caught the sun on my arms. Not a tan more a light pinkness. Must remember the sun cream next time.

See you later
love Sooty