Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I'm back from FL visiting my mother. I just read last week's thread...lots of good stuff there. I'm going to make this kind of short, as I have a bunch of stuff to do. I just wanted to mention the "service" theme. It's emphasized in so much of the literature & at meetings. Being w/my mother gave me plenty of opportunity to do a different kind of service. She needs plenty of help, & that's what I do when I go there. It really does help my AA program along. I'm happy to be home & going back to my meetings. I really missed them...not because I thought I might drink. I missed them because they keep my head on straight. I'll be back tomorrow. Mary

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

Welcome back Mary - good to have you back here too!

K x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

Welcome home Mary! I always miss you when you are gone. You are such a very steady and wise presence for me and for all of us here. I really value what you share here!!!

I am so grateful to say that I haven't had a true urge to drink in a very long time - not even sure when the last real URGE was. I know I can't take that for granted. I too feel a NEED for my meetings especially if I haven't been for a few days. As you said - it just helps me keep my head on straight. I can always count on my 7AM home group (they meet 6 days a week!) for wisdom, a vision of contented sobriety, and a few laughs to boot.

Today a guy came through the food line at the Mission and said "I know you from somewhere - I'm SURE I do!!!" He looked familiar to me too. Finally he had a light bulb moment and whispered "B.W.????" LOL - I couldn't think what "B.W." was. Finally he whispered "Bill W." OHHHH!!!! There was a time when that would have made me uncomfortable. Not any more. I hope this is a sign of growth that I am not so worried about my "image" (:H) and what other people might think.

I love being sober. I am so happy to not be POSSESSED by thoughts of drinking all the time. I think about recovery a lot, but it's 1) not all the time like thoughts of drinking were and 2) it's positive rather than life stopping.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

DG: Many thanks for the kind words. I too haven't had a real urge to drink for quite a while. However, while I was at my mother's, I couldn't help remembering raiding her liquor cabinet in past years. I love my mom, but as do most moms, she gets under my skin. Instead of speaking up nicely (as I did this time), I used to drink my tension away. I couldn't help remembering those times & was certainly glad I didn't have to do that.

I too don't take my sobriety for granted. I don't want to ever lose touch w/the work of the 12 steps. I know how easy that can be for me. I still get plagued by those feelings of "maybe I wasn't so bad after all." I must actively try to remember:
-the sneaking around.
-the passing out.
-the blacking out.
-the humiliation & self-loathing.

It's so easy to forget all of the above.

On seeing people from the program "outside": We got a new priest in our parish...a young guy. I went to him for confession last year & told him that I've recently gotten much more honest since I joined AA. He surprised me by saying: "I'm a friend of Bill W's also." You never know who you're going to see at meetings. I recently saw one of my doctors at a large meeting.

I'll be going to a meeting tonight...meeting my sponsor there. Looking forward to it.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

Such uplifting words from you great ladies.
I agree, meetings keep me "right side up". Also, I can't believe how much fun I have at my 630am group. I've always said, if it ain't fun, I ain't doing it. Of course I used to think I could only have fun while drinking. Many of us think or used to anyway that drinking made me:
Better looking,
Smarter,
Funnier,
A better dancer,
And so on.....
Have a great week.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

Phil: Me too on thinking AL was the only way to have fun. However, after the first high wore off, it was all downhill pretty quickly. I'd drink all night to maintain that high but only got more & more down. No, I don't need it to have fun anymore. M

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

Hi fellow travelers!! Ack. Those thoughts of "drinking is fun"....OH that brings back some horrible memories. Now when I remember times that even *seemed* fun at the time, I cringe because I know that my *real* behavior was NOT what I thought it was. Better dancer? No...most likely to fall down on the dance floor. Funnier? No....LOUD. And obnoxious. Better looking? No....red eyeballs and a splotchy face. And what loud, obnoxious person is "pretty?" Pretty is as pretty does. And my drinking was NOT pretty - even on my best drinking day. Not by todays standards anyway.

So no...drinking is not fun. For me it's downright dangerous.

I participated in an on-line meeting today. I really prefer face to face but I'm getting more comfortable withe the on-line format if I can't make a f2f. Todays meeting was the best on-line meeting I've ever attended. It was an open topic meeting, and someone suggested we discuss the words "we" and "powerless" in Step 1. Most of the sharing was about "we."

It is so easy for me to gloss over Step 1 especially after working through other steps. I appreciated the chance to sit and really contemplate that one word, and how impactful it is to the AA program. I loved listening to other people comment. Some of the things I wrote down:

* "WE" are not alone struggling with our addictions.
* "WE" is an invitation for me to come out of isolation.
* "WE" tells me that in our own way, we are all facing the same struggles.
* "WE" tells me I'm really NOT different. (brings me out of my "terminally unique" status)
* "WE" is comforting to me.

One woman shared that she has always been close to her HP. She said she thought that her + her HP and tools such as the Big Book would be enough. She thought she could do it without other people. She said that did not work for her. It was only after she reached out to other people and found "we" did the promises start coming true in her life.

I was never able to avoid drinking on my own. Not even for a day. The first addiction I struggled to quit was smoking. I absolutely could not do that alone either. (Quit Smoking All Together: the Web's Largest Quit Smoking Community was my salvation!!!). It was my experience with Quitnet that led me to My Way Out when I was at my wits end with the drinking.

So yes. I need "we." Thank you all for being here every day.

DG

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

hi teach not tht anyone said i think dog lady did your learning your special

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

like me hahahaha

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

DG: I've noticed that all the steps are written in the first person plural (we, our, ours). The steps are meant to be done w/someone...a sponsor. They are designed to help us break out of isolation as well as set us on the proper path in life. I go over the wording of them in my head quite frequently. Each step starts w/an action word. This is a program of action & camaraderie. Unique in all the world as far as I can see. M

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

Hi everyone,
It a beauiful day here, :rays:
Just come back from MIND meeting talked about anxiety, and other things which i feel will help me a lot how to copy with different matters.

Its always good for me to pop in and read all your post Thank you all for taking so much of your time for posting.x
Special is that you Gyco? if it is love your new name. and i like me 2

I know they say there is good AA and there is the Taliban AA has anyone experience in the taliban AA or been to there meetings, i have been warn about them. so i will know if one does approched me.:H

Had a bit of bad day on saturday morning but felt so much better by going to a meeting sharing it, because if i did not share what was going on up there!,, i would of felt ill inside me and depression would of set in and other things as well. ( i have good friends in AA they seem to know when something is wrong with me without me say a word.

Anyway am glad it is a WE program there is no way i would of done this on my own thank you all.....
Not sure when i be able to get on here next, but take good care and keep safe!x
God bless you all.x:l

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

Everyone: I just got back from a gratitude meeting. Good stuff.

Right before I went to the meeting though, I attended a thank-you reception for a local charity we are donors for. There was lovely light food & glasses w/champagne, wine, & sparkling juice lined up. I was later thinking about it. If I had a drink of either the wine or champagne, that's all I would have been able to think about. I wouldn't be able to make conversation or listen to the talks wo/obsessing about when I could have my next drink. I'd be sidling up to the drinks' counter trading my empty for a full glass as many times as I could wo/attracting attention. What freedom to not have all that in my way!

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

Hi everyone! Catch, what is Taliban AA??? Haven't heard that one. I've been in some meetings where some bombs were dropped though (in a manner of speaking :H). Your post made me think about all the times I've had something upsetting going on in my life and how great it has been to just go to a meeting and be among "my people" whether I even talk about the issue or not. Most often with me, I'll get all wound up in my head over something that really is not a big deal. Usually just getting out of my own little space and into a meeting with other people and a broader perspective is enough to snap me out of it!

Mary, I can really relate to your description of the party and the obsession with "more" and with sidling up to the table hoping nobody would notice the extra refills. Been there done that, and so grateful not to be there any more! In the end I just skipped events like that anyway because 1) I was already too drunk to go anywhere and 2) I had no desire to go anywhere that I couldn't drink like I wanted to. That was part of my AL prison for sure.

I have been having a really good experience with on-line meetings / discussions this week. I already posted about the "we" discussion. Yesterday there was a great discussion acceptance. It really spoke to the question that often comes up - doesn't acceptance make me a doormat? A woman made this point and it really spoke to me.

Acceptance is about FACING THE FACTS of a situation. She used an example of someone who is in a violent relationship but keeps staying in it. "Acceptance" does not mean to accept the violence. "Acceptance" means facing the truth about the situation so that an honest decision can be made about it. So often, we refuse to accept the truth and think we can change other people, or somehow magically something outside of our control will change. Wanting the truth of it to be something other than what it is.

That really got me thinking. Much of the turmoil in my life has been related to that exact sort of thing. Wishing things to be different and not accepting the facts, and making my own decisions accordingly. I am still very capable of viewing situations in a different light from reality. This was a powerful message for me this week on an "old" but always meaningful (to me) subject.

Saturday is the Alano Club fellowship banquet. I'm very excited to be going with some gal pals this year. My sponsee who is recently back to the program is "getting involved" this time and she is going to. I remember my first banquet. I wasn't all that comfortable going, but I went anyway. I recognized the discomfort as just being a new and unfamiliar situation, without my old non-friend AL by my side. Always have to push myself outside my box! Some people go with their spouses and some like mine don't really care to go, but I'm grateful he is very supportive of my involvement. So I just hook up with the other women who are single or who have Mr.s like mine! I'm going to dig out some sequins I think. :bling

Have a great day one and all. I am SO grateful for sobriety. What a gift. And there was a time I would have read sentences like that and thought "geez what a bunch of saps." :H "Your opinion of me is none of my business" is my attitude now.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

Everyone: We had a business meeting last night, & I was struck by the fact that while there were many differences of opinion, nobody got personal or nasty. I think that most of us feel the absolute importance of the fellowship & wouldn't want to put that in jeopardy.

I was asked to speak (my first time) at a very large 2-speaker meeting on Mon. the 18th. It'll be an adventure I'm sure.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 4 - Apr. 10

Mary, I wish I could be there to hear you tell your story! Yours is an amazing story that will give hope to many others, I am sure.

DG