Wonderful posts from yesterday. Sara said something that really stood out for me:
Anyway, the last thing I want is to begin the "I was never that bad" kind of thinking that has led me back to drinking again and again. When I was drinking it was like I was in this deep murky water, and although I could still just barely keep my head above water, I was in constant danger of drowning. Last night I heard about people who had gone under. "There but for the grace of God go I" I guess.
I'm not as uncomfortable with those stories today because I have accepted that if I drink, that's where I'm headed. It's just a fact of my addiction - not some scary mystery any more. I understand it now. The scary reminders serve to make me very grateful that I have sobriety today. My addicted brain would love for me to forget the pain I did go through, and also forget what I've heard about the progression of this addiction. By making myself listen, I can keep my brain in the center of the road where I need to be.
Sara, I'm really glad you shared that. It was good food for thought for me this morning.
So...one thing is for sure!!
DG
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