AF Daily Wednesday April 6

[momof3]

Good Morning All,

Is there a new grandbaby in Lav's life yet?

Lots of food for thought in yesterdays AF Daily thread re: "I'm not that bad" or "I was never that bad" thinking. It kept me drinking for years. I am grateful for getting out of that cycle and for stepping off of the elevator before it went all the way down to hell (I was pretty damn close).

M3

[Cassia]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

Hi M3,

Happy Wednesday!

I know what you mean about comparing yourself to others. I also did it for a long time and it was only when someone said to me that if I am unhappy with my drinking then it was time to do something about it, I was able to sit up and take notice. X

[jennyneric]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

Good Morning. Me and Kasia talked about that yesterday momof3. I've never lost anything to the drink, except my happiness and my self esteem. I don't want to loose more than that!

I had a really busy weekend planed but the Sunday plans just feel through and I am disappointed but, my hubby is home so maybe we can go see a show or something fun! All is not lost! Always have a plan B!

I go to the collage for orientation today! So excited! 35 and about to go to collage for the first time! It took me a while but I did it!

Have a great Wednesday all! No AL here to ruin this day for me!

[momof3]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

Hi Cassia and Jenny,

Good morning to you too.

Very true about comparing oneself to others. Thing is, there was always someone who I could compare myself to who was worse off than me. That's the way the alcoholic brain works. It kept me from being honest with myself for so long.

Jenny, That is so awesome that you are going back to school! Woohoo! It is amazing how the opportunities and adventures present themselves once we have made a firm commitment to be AF. It frees up so much time and energy. What will you be studying?

M3

[Marshy]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

Hello mom3, cassia, jennyeric & all abbers!

Beautiful sunny day in London - almost hot!

I went to visit mum & dad at the weekend. Mum is holding her own and we had a lot of laughs.

Re the "I'm not that bad business". The very first AA meeting I ever went to was held next door to a homeless hostel, so most of the people attending had been living on the streets. There was a real hierarchy among the men about whether or not they had been violent to their wives/girlfriends - with those who hadn't been violent making the point that "I never hit a woman". It struck me that even people living on the street would still be saying "I'm not that bad" even though alcohol had had such a huge impact on their lives.

Have a fab day everyone!

[LVT25]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

Hello friends,

Just a quick check in this morning before I start another full day. This will be the 2nd day of the conference on the "Life of an Athlete" program, and I can't wait! Yesterday the speaker (John Underwood) posed the question why do teens drink? Why does anyone drink alcohol? Why do you drink alcohol if you do? He went on to say that there really is no good reason to put that into our bodies. It's unhealthy, and it is the biggest problem in our society today.
We have been programmed to believe that we need it and deserve it. Hmmmm....

I was pretty disappointed in the turn out for this program. NONE of our school administrators were there, and apparently the athletic director had another meeting he was told he had to attend. No school board members or city council members either. Imagine that. I am so disappointed in my community right now.

One of the stories he told was about a high school football team that was undefeated and heading into the state tournament. Five of their starters were caught at a party the week or two before the championship game. They were of course suspended--they had signed a code of conduct. The parents got lawyers and it went to a judge. The judge upheld the decision. The coach went ahead with the championship game, and had to play some 2nd and 3rd string players--including the quarterback (the 5 boys were all key players). This quarterback had not played in a game all year (Prolly something wrong with that scenario). But, they WON the championship game 21 to 17 WITHOUT those boys. Who'd of thought that could happen?

Anyway, here is the link if anyone is interested in reading more about it. This guy has quite a history, he has trained Olympic athletes and was a world champion runner himself. He has also worked with the Navy Seals--he's a scientist.

American Athletic Institute

My son started painting his room last night. He is so adamant about doing this all by himself, but trust me he needed a little guidance. It will be fine. My hubby wanted to check it out last night and he actually praised him--which is amazing in itself!

Ok, I better get busy. I have a lot to do before I go to the conference.

I did want to say--way to go Jenny! How cool is that going to school at your age! I wish I wasn't so busy drinking to even consider it when I was your age. :goodjob:

Have a great sober day all!:h

[Hippy Chick]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

Hello there,

Just checking in before bed, am knackered as I had a hot day in the sun with the horses. Not looking after myself too well the last few days so before it gets out of hand, have had a strong word with myself and got back on track. Although drinking is not a thought at the moment, the destructive behaviours that got me to where I was are still there. So am trying to recognise them and act on them ASAP.

I went to see a naturopath on Monday and she has given me something to help with the anxiety and depression. She said I was in a permenant "fight or flight" situation and producing too much adrenaline/cortisol (?) and it was wearing me out. It is so true as I cant relax very well (well, actually I can relax remarkably well but have to consume a particular poison to do it!!), so I have to find something that I can do that relaxes me, maybe meditation or yoga. Only problem with doing a class it brings out the panic attacks of having to face people in an unknown environment, so not sure if a class is the way to go. I wonder if there is a meditation class on the net?

Anyway feeling good about not wanting a drink. Am slowly turning my life around in a better direction that I was heading a few short weeks ago. Feel free to kick me up the backside if I start heading off in the wrong direction.....

Take care.

HC

[bear73]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

hey all - missed this thread first time round so this is what I'd posted originally.

I am day 2 AF and planning to stick that way - f**k pleasing everyone else anymore (or thinking I am by drinking) and being in denial 'I'm not that bad' - I am better AF and have a better life AF and plenty of problems caused by alcohol already.

Momof3 - your old situation is the same as mine.

Hippychick I really related to the drinking to please others/even if there is no pressure I pressure myself to fit in in those situations.

Papmom - I agree.

I have to change this BS I am angry that I fell for my own BS - spent morning in bed today reading smart recovery book and doing exercises - lots of talk of low frustration tolerance,all or nothing thinking,drinking to escape/numb which I really identify with.

I don't keep wanting to feel how I felt yesterday - blue, sulky,drained and fat and unhealthy and no enthusiasm at all. It is on with the daily work of being sober today.This all may sound totally unrelated to not drinking BUT for me there is something about getting my surroundings close to being straight.

Today my plan is to try out out paint colours for my kitchen, I will paint it during the 2 weeks I have off at end of April (injured knee skating). I am also buying some garden canes and gro bags,maybe some flowering plants and dumping some old clothes I never wear at the recycling point.

Tomorrow the plan is paying my birthday money in, picking up a dress I ordered and returning some others. Got evening work meeting slap bang in middle of week off - grrr - but hey cant change it.

Friday I will be putting old winter clothes in loft, bringing down last year's summer gear and cleaning house ready for friends' stay at the weekend.

Good day all to come - late shower and getting dressed time for me.

[Lavande]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

Good late morning Abbers!

THE STORK ARRIVED AT 7 am!!!!
A big & healthy boy weighing 9 lbs. 3 ounces & 21" long

My son & DIL dropped EB off at 1:15 am on their way to the hospital! I had offered to go to their house but they brought him over anyway. He went right back to sleep & woke up happy. He doesn't really have a clue to what's going on, honestly!

I'm off to the hospital now to see my new grandson & get a pic or two

Hope everyone has a fab AF Humpday!

Lav

[jennyneric]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

momof3;1092572 wrote: Hi Cassia and Jenny,

Jenny, That is so awesome that you are going back to school! Woohoo! It is amazing how the opportunities and adventures present themselves once we have made a firm commitment to be AF. It frees up so much time and energy. What will you be studying?

M3

I will be studying science. I want to get my degree in biochemistry and work for the state as like a CSI or DNA analyst. The retirement benefits are what I'm after with the state and the interesting work! It will take me 5 or 6 years but I think it will be worth it to not have to eat cat food through my 70s,80s, and 90s!

[momof3]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

Yeah Lav. Happy Grandbaby day. A big baby boy!

LVT. I think it is fantastic that you are committed to raising teenagers awareness of the dangers of alcohol and stopping the romanticizing of it. Kudos to you. I love the story of the football team and the presenters question: Why do you drink alcohol.

Just came back from yoga. Off to the shower I go then lots of house cleaning before kids get home. This is my version of a day off of work (paid work anyway).

M3

[jennyneric]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

Oh I forgot to say. . .Hi everyone

And a BIG congrats to Lav and son in DIL! So cool! Love babies! What is his name???

[universal]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

Hi everyone!

Holy lots going on since I left yesterday! Happy Baby! Happy College! Happy Birthday Bear (glad you are feeling better today - don't give up honey)

I had a great time with my GF last night. We haven't seen each other in 10 years and literally it was like we spent every day toghether. It just all flowed back so naturally, it was wonderful. We looked at pics from high school, had some great laughs and I got to meet her children. I just feel so happy. And then because I think she just somehow knew I needed it, she laid beside me on the couch and just gave me a nice friend cuddle and rubbed my back and said she was glad I was there and that she loved me and that I can always count on her. It was like a big sister kind of moment - just what I needed. I'm so happy and feeling so loved right now.

Marshy - glad you had a good weekend and that your mom is holding her own.

I know I missed a ton of people and I'm sorry for that! But I love you all!

xoxo

[jennyneric]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

That is sooooo wonderful Uni! So glad to here you feel happy and loved!

[universal]

AF Daily Wednesday April 6

It was, It was such a great time, I am so glad that we have reconnected. Amazing, sober moments just feel so nice eh? So nice to reconnect with friends. I am really feeling happy right now.