AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

[Doggygirl]

Hi Fabbies!!

Day 4 sugar free today. It's a drug like AL as far as my ol' bod is concerned.

I've been squirreling away my Mary Kay money with the idea that it is for VACATION and not for other expenses. It's amazing how it adds up - just sticking $20 here, $50 there into a savings account. Now I have to keep selling Mary Kay to pay for the plane tickets, because I don't think we can walk to Turks and Caicos!!! :H

Speaking of Mary Kay....have some of that to do this morning, then volunteer work this afternoon, then working a Weight Watchers meeting tonight. A full day - one thing is for sure, there is no time for AL today.

Hope all you fabbies are off to a great start today!! And for you HC - hope you HAD a fabulous Thursday!!

DG

[universal]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

Oops! 2 threads started - I will copy mine here and erase the old post.

Where has everyone been the last couple of days!!!

Another AF racked up for me last night - still feeling a little shaky from my last binge Monday but am feeling good and more positive every day.

It's a beautiful day outside and I am going to go for a nice walk. As well just some tidying up around here. I have a self esteem group tonight for 2 hours as well that I am looking forward to.

Writing that letter to my dad was the best thing I could have ever done. I feel like I did a deep internal house cleaning and got rid of a bunch of garbage bags. I know there are a lot more in there but at least it's a start!

I hope everyone has a great AF Thursday - one thing is for sure here.

Love and hugs,
Uni__________________

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

Hi Uni! If your weather is anything like ours has been the last few days, a walk will be glorious!! I'm so glad that you are feeling better.

DG

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

Hi guys.

I hate it when two threads get started. It makes me feel schizophrenic.

Uni, I never posted to your threads and I am sorry. I feel so much like you and I didn't want to post some drivel that wasn't real. It is hard. I know it and you know it. We can do this, Uni. We, us, wir, nous can do this and we are worth it.

My hubby also makes me feel very badly about myself when I drink. Unfortunately, I do it anyway.

More importantly, I dishearten my 13/11/8 year-old grandchildren who want to see Granny when she gets home. They are, of course, not allowed over here when I am drinking.

Not sure where my bottom is but it is already pretty damned low.

Just know I love you, I understand and care. :l

Everyone else, please have a wonderful day.

I always read this thread, even when I don't post.

Oh, and btw, day 5 here.

Love,
Cindi

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

Good morning Abbers!

Thanks to DG & Uni for waking me up :H
I've been sleeping a little too well this week - not complaining

The sunshine has arrived - Yay!!
I'm going to run to the nursery today & bring home some plants for the empty deck pots & window baskets. I'm ready for some color

Looking forward to the newest baby, his big brother EB & their parents coming for dinner tonight

Wishing a great AF Thursday to one & all in Abber-land!
Lav

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

Cindi, it's so good to see you post here. Never give up!!!!

Lav, you sound so happy when your grand kids are headed to your place!! I'm still :H thinking about your chicken story from yesterday.

DG

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

Hi DG, Uni, Lav, Cindi, and Abber's far and wide!

Great stuff on day 5 Cindi! Keep it going friend. When i got off the booze, i'd just break it all down if getting sober was too overwhelming, and i'd tackle little things one by one, and at my own pace, and tough titty to everyone else if that was an inconvenience. If we need to get ruthless with our sobriety, and i did, then we have to do it, to preserve it, and nurture our healing, and especially nurture ourselves in early sobriety. Take care of yourself.

Have a great day everyone, and go hard or go home!

[universal]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

I mailed the letter to my dad! OMG! I feel so FREE!!!!! I accept that when he reads it he may decide to never speak to me again but you know what? I'm at peace with that. I'm okay with it because he has caused so much pain in my life that maybe that would be better anyway.

I am so happy to have cleared that out - just had to share. He should get it sometime next week so I'll keep you posted!

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

It is snowing here. I mean it looks more like December 14th than April 14th. We can always use the moisture though, I'm trying to look at the bright side. My son's track meet was canceled (thank God), so I am trying to get some chores done here.

Fun evening planned a the local library. The coalition sponsored a project called photo voice and one of the members took it and ran--to the 6th graders. They are having a display at the library called "Shadow and Light." They took photos of the things that are positive and negative to them in our community. Some of the stories behind the photos are sad, but it really turned out amazing.

Have a great sober day all!:h

[bear73]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

hey all busy week at work - usual ups and downs but on an up today and trying to keep it that way.
met some of the team in the pub today for friends birthday - we had food and they had drinks - stayed for 3 hours - everyone getting a bit drunk by that point. I'm not good in big groups sober when everyone else is drinking. Decided to leave - I drove deliberately and am pleased to be home sober and in my pjs with the cats. I'm going to catch up on here and watch a comedy dvd with a decaff coffee.

Feel like I can't be entertaining company tonight and feel quite quiet - I guess that is ok - I will feel up on other days. Why do I feel this pressure?there are some extroverts in the group - felt liek my words were literally stuck in my throat tonight. It's day 12 here - finding it tough today. BUT I know I won't just have a few like my friends - I'll want and possibly have much more, feel ill and feel anxious.What great laugh! Half day at work tomorrow and then rollerderby - hope some of my AF books arrive in post - ones I already have but have lost!
Good night all.

[Newgrange]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

Hello all. Well done cindy, keep going. Bear You seem so cosy relaxed at home AF. It is really tough to be in a pub situation so well done for getting out. It is hard to converse in a pub crowd so go easy.

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

Bear,

BUT I know I won't just have a few like my friends - I'll want and possibly have much more, feel ill and feel anxious.What great laugh!!

There is a reason that we say one or two will just piss us off!! And, one is too many and a thousand not enough. (In my case, whatever it takes to black out and pass out. omg)

G, Hugs to you.

You are so kind and one of my heros. I still love your MWO song but lost it when my laptop crashed. If you remember my email, please resend it. Otherwise, pm me yours and I will send you mine.

Uni,

Good for you. In my last rehab (sigh) I had to write a story of my life and the things I felt were important. It took two weeks of writing some daily. It was difficult. I then had to read it to my counselor. No, this was not like a Step 4 in AA, but then again it was. Hard to explain. I remember crying as I read it. I think I will pull it back out and read it again.

Luckily, we didn't have to share with those we wrote about who hurt us, or I would be divorced by now. :H:H

DG,

Another one of my heros. :h

Newgrange,

Great to meet you and thank you so much!!

LAV,

It is so good to see you I is wonderful you are sleeping so well. At 5 days, you know how bad my sleep is!! :-)

LVT,

When I lived in Colorado for 10 years, the only time this southern girl got homesick for the south was this time of year. It snows there in the spring, great for skiing, sucky for flowers. My mind would wander to visions of the redbuds, dogwoods, laurel and azaleas. Of course, the rest of the year was fabulous. I loved living on the front range. I have no idea where you live but I imagine your climate is very similar.

Well, off to do some housework. Eek. I really should hire a housekeeper for once a week. I work so hard most of the time that even when I am home, I don't have time to clean. When I am gone and come home, the last thing I want to do is spend my time vacuming, mopping and dusting. (plus all that other stuff that needs to be done.)

I will hire a housekeeper to come once a week when I get some things paid off. Until then, the house will just have to stay dirty. :H:H

Love to all,
Cindi

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQb6g_BCAHA&feature=channel_video_title[/video]]YouTube - 'Startingover again blues'

Here you go Cindi!

I'll pm it to you as well.

[Sarasmiles]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

bear73;1098306 wrote:
Feel like I can't be entertaining company tonight and feel quite quiet - I guess that is ok - I will feel up on other days. Why do I feel this pressure?there are some extroverts in the group - felt liek my words were literally stuck in my throat tonight.

Those feelings are so familiar to me, Bear. You really put it well. I don't really know why sometimes I feel like I could talk with anyone - chatty with store clerks and friends - and other times I have that same feeling like my words are stuck in my throat. I like your "I guess that is ok - I will feel up on other days". Yes. It seems healthiest to accept these moments or days peacefully, and do as you did and go home. Who's to say we have to force ourselves to socialize when it just isn't working for us? The "up" days will come, too.

Uni, I'm so glad you found a way to release some of your pain. Sounds like writing the letter and sending it were very brave and therapeutic acts. How wonderful!

DG, Hubby and I honeymooned in the Turks and Caicos. What a wonderful place, especially for snorkeling. We loved it. Try the conch fritters! What does an organized sober vacation like that involve? Meetings, or just time with other sober folks? I love the idea.

We're headed to Florida for school vacation next week. We go just about every year to visit my husband's parents, who spend the winters there. This will be the first time ever for me to be there and not drinking. I don't recall ever over-doing it there, but there was always wine on the deck in the evening, and a ritual of having a drink while watching the sunset. Time for a plan for me, huh? I think as soon as we get there I'll stop at a convenience store (OMG, I just remembered the drive-thru package stores we used to hit!) and pick up seltzer and juices. I want to run on the beach each day to stay de-stressed, and maybe without hangovers I'll get up early to walk alone on the beach and do some yoga. I plan to bring a couple of books about recovery to read to keep me focused.

Lav, so happy for you, surrounded by grandchildren.
Cindi, I'm glad you're here and doing well! Hi and good wishes to Newgrange, Guitarista, LVT25 and all other Ab-Fabbers!

Sleep tight and wake proud of yourselves in the morning!

Sara

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Thursday April 14, 2011

About bedtime for me but wanted to check in again!

Cindi - congrats on your 5 days AF (we cross posted this morning)!
I know you're not sleeping great right now but you know the routine......it does get better.
The arrival of my first grandchild is what finally got me to get off my ass & do something about my drinking problem. Before he arrived I just really didn't give a shit. I am so grateful to be present in his life........I can't imagine now missing all this happiness & joy. And now with the arrival of two more grandkids in recent weeks I am one happy, sober & commited grandma. Keep all that in mind as you move forward Cindi :l

Uni, here's a great big :l for you too!
I'm glad you mailed that letter - it needed to be done! I hope you feel peaceful forevermore '

G - I still love your tune & am looking forward to hearing more

Wishing everyone a very good night!
Lav