Day 1

[Cravie]

I have finally had enough. Enough of hurting and destroying myself as well as opportunities and relationships in my life. I am afraid because at the back of my mind I have doubts of myself failing. Will I be able to stop drinking for ever? What if I can still learn how to manage alcohol use? What if I just need a break? At the same time for the past few years I have not managed that and by abusing alcohol destroyed quite a few good opportunities in my life. I go on a drinking spree for days at a time, then I snap out of it and then after a while fall right back in. I cannot take the pain anymore I cause to my loving and wonderful fianc? who wants to support me in getting better. I cannot take anymore this person I change into. This rude, selfish and useless person. I want to and have to change my life right now. But I am so scared of not being strong enough again.
:new:

[Miss Behaving]

Day 1

Hi Cravie!

It sounds like you are in a place that many of us have been in before. Just for now, forget about tomorrow, and the "what ifs". Get through today. Lots of water, and looking after yourself, and things that you like to do that don't involve alcohol.

This is a great place for you to get space to work through all the issues that come up when you are confronting your relationship with alcohol. There is lots of support and practical advice. Just ask for what you need and you'll get it.

And well done of having the courage to make your first post :goodjob::goodjob::goodjob:

[Lavande]

Day 1

Hi Cravie,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place! It has helped so many of us

Be sure to download the MWO book from the Health store here to help you get started & look in the Tool Box for ideas to help you make yourself a good plan.

You can do this with a good plan & a strong desire to quit. Posting daily on the threads helps so much. I found the MWO Hypno CDs very helpful in changing my thinking about AL - get them if you can.

Wishing you the very best

Lav

[Guitarista]

Day 1

Hello Cravie, and welcome.

Have you seen our https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Check it out. It's a great resource with plenty of useful tip's, strategies, idea's, and info.

Well done on tackling day 1! This will be hard, but stick with it, and get yourself through the first week. Read the Toolbox, and keep yourself distracted and busy.

Great to see you here. You can do it. Keep it going!

G-bloke.

[Cravie]

Day 1

Thank you so much for your advice and support. Truly appreciate it. So far my first day felt like an emotional roller-coaster accompanied by a physical exhaustion. I know it is going to be hard road and there is still a long way to go. I feel very grateful for finding this site, reading your posts already made my day easier. You guys are my inspiration and you gave me hope for a better future.

[Newgrange]

Day 1

Welcome cravie. :welcome:
Guitarista gave good advise to check the toolbox. I found it incredibly helpful. Good luck and everyone is very supportive here.

[retteacher]

Day 1

Cravie: I too couldn't handle alcohol, & by the end of my drinking, I lost my integrity & self-esteem. I went around in circles for years trying to:
-manage my alcohol consumption.
-moderate my drinking.
-stop drinking & take a break.

All to no avail. I always went back into it & was a spree drinker also. By the end, the sprees were happening several times @ week.

I've now found that I cannot take that first drink. As soon as alcohol enters my system, all bets are off. I'm off & running.

I've been sober for 2 years now. I know that I'm susceptible to wrong thinking:
-"Maybe now I can drink normally."
-"Maybe I wasn't so bad."
-"Maybe I can moderate."

That kind of thinking would be my undoing. I cannot drink normally. My husband & many of my friends drink normally:
-1 - 3 drinks in a whole evening.

That is not the way I can drink. No way. I obsessed about how much I could drink w/nobody noticing.

Anyhow, good luck.

Mary

[Newgrange]

Day 1

there is a lot of wisdom in that post Mary. That thinking was indeed my undoing too and i am succeptable to that thinking too. A good reminder. thanks.

[Cravie]

Day 1

Thank you Mary. I understand what you saying. I dont want the wrong type of thinking put me back into "the old me" behavior again.

[Doggygirl]

Day 1

Hi Cravie. Just wanted to jump in and join the others in saying :welcome: to My Way Out!!!

I too love Mary's post about the stinking thinking. Thoughts that I could drink, and somehow the results would be "different this time" kept me spiraling downward with alcohol. The only way drinking was ever "different" for me was that the consequences progressively got worse.

It was a relief to finally just accept that I cannot drink normally, and get on with recovery!!!

It's a one day at a time thing for me. Now I focus on ALL of life one day at a time. I try to make the most of each and every day I have. Get the fullest experience out of life that I can. That was NEVER possible when I was drinking. Alcohol took pieces of my life away from me.

I wish you well. The toolbox is good and there are lots of good support threads on the site. If I can sober up and Retteacher can and Guitarista can and Lav can and Miss B can and Newgrange can, than I KNOW you can do it too. I was so afraid at first. Not any more.

DG

DG

[papmom3]

Day 1

Hi Cravie-I just want to add my :welcome: to the rest. What you describe was my life as well so I totally get what is going through your mind right now. I even announced on FB last Feb that i was going to stop drinking wine for 2 weeks! Didn't last 3 days!! But here I am almost a year sober and life is so good!!
I found the Newbies Nest to be a life saver my first few months into my journey so definitely check that out if you haven't already. Also chat saved my butt a few times when I was white knuckling it. I can tell you with absolute certainty that it DOES get better tho!
Good luck to you and read read read, post post post as much as you can.
:l

[mumofsix]

Day 1

All I want to add to this thread is that - however many days ago I was where you are now. I think I'm on day 7 - I use the drinks tracker and put the day in every day. I feel better already. Yes I want a drink, yes I'm anxious still,yes I'm moody but also I'm sober and feel strong. I went for a 15 k run this morning and have spent the afternoon relaxing with my hubbie lying in bed watching TV while the kids play on the computer. Normally by now on a Saturday aftenoon I would be drinking. You will get through day one and then day two and then day three - if you choose to.

[Doggygirl]

Day 1

Wow mo6. 15K. I just started the "Couch to 5K" program 2 days ago. That was a total of 8 actual running minutes, and my legs are so sore today they will barely move!! :H Maybe if you can run, I can too. (with a lot more practice!)

DG