Moving thru May - Week 2

[Lavande]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Cassia,
I totally agree with you about our Moms :l

[paguy]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Lavande;1115372 wrote: I guess I'll just sit here in cow country & watch the weeds grow after all this rain

:H:H

Seriously, Lav... this rain is just too much!

Cassia - I ran my best time so far this year for a 5K last weekend and I've finished in the Top 10 in my age group in 3 of the 4 races I've run so far Two more races to go and I hope to stay in the Top 10.

Happy Monday everyone. It is misty and foggy here this morning. Should be an interesting drive to work.

[Jolie]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Good Monday morning everyone!

Well Lav and John, the sun is trying to make an appearance this morning but rain is in the forecast all week. I was pleasantly surprised that yesterday turned out as nice as it did!

John - what a shmuck to make that comment to you. It's amazing how differently we see things now that AL isn't coursing through our veins! I don't like to be caught off guard like that either and this person probably had no idea how their comment would affect you. Hope you are getting all the kinks worked out - a massage sounds heavenly!

Cassia - welcome home! Must have been quite a trip and hope now that the emotional good byes are over, you can settle in and get accustomed to living in good ole U.S. again.

Papmom - I know what you mean about the procrastinating thing - I just could not get motivated yesterday and there are several walls with peeling wallpaper calling my name. Anybody ever use a steamer to remove wallpaper? This crap has been on the walls for 20+ years and is driving me insane! Of course it's not peeling off in big strips like all the info on the net says it should - no, it is coming off in tiny little pieces and I'm about ready to call in a professional. My last resort is to try a steamer but I'd like to get anyone's advice out there that has used it before.

I know one thing - there will NEVER be another wall in my house covered with wallpaper!!!

Okay - I'm done venting for today.

Have a great day everyone!

[Rusty]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Good Morning Moving Friends,

A happy, unhung hello from Athens, AL....home of nothing.:H I am here through Thursday and thought I would just poke my bobblehead in to say hello.

Cassia-Welcome Home!:h I was reading your earlier post about how you went to the UK for school and lived there for many years and are back in the States, hoping to have little Cassias down the road.:l You're very young then, aren't you? You're not going to ditch us and start your own "Young People Only" Forum, are you? Wow, good for you for addressing your AL issues at such a young age. You are amazingly bright and successful for a person so young, and I bet your mom did shape your life in many ways. But how sad that you lost her when you were so young!:upset:

LBH-I loved your story about your Yorkie. My sister just got a Morkie...a Maltese and Yorkie mix puppy, and she and her husband used to be big dogs only people....black labs only, but this dog, I will tell you, has both of them wrapped around his little paw. You said you lost your family when you were young, too? How tragic! I cannot imagine something so horrible.

You know I was thinking about Cassia's loss of her mother at such a young age, LBH's losing her family at a young age, Lav's YB being not at all present, and my own situation with losing my best friend, and my father, and my brother, and breaking up with my mate all within a few years. I think that the sense of abandonment seems to be a common denominator with why some of us here drank excessively. I know I tried to drown out the feeling that I had been abandoned by people I thought I would have with me forever and I don't think there's any feeling worse than abandonment and the sorrow of losing someone you love.

Paguy-congratulations on your race results. That is amazing! I hope you have a great time in Florida this weekend...you certainly deserve the rest. And Ugh, that bore who made the comment about you not drinking. I have an ignorant co-worker who makes stupid comments like that. I told him once, "You know that filter between your brain and your mouth? Yours isn't functioning!"

Chill-dear friend-how well I know the feeling of moving somewhere where you know NO ONE. I think the online dating service is a good one. That's nice of McNotsodreamy to come and see you. Is there some way you can get involved in the community? You have so much to give....and you'll meet people. I also think you should go down to the boatyard and stand next to the nicest yacht you can find and see if some good looking guy doesn't drive right up and introduce himself. :-)

Well, it's a Monday morning and I'm happy and unhung! May 28th is my 1 year drunk-free anniversary.

Ok, I better hit the treadmill.

Have a wonderful AF Monday!

Hi Jolie! Cross post! When is your son's wedding?

[Cassia]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Morning all from a wet NYC. It can't even decides whether it wants to rain or not...it's like spirit. But I don't care because at least it's warm! Well to me anyway. It's warmer at seven am here then noon in Glasgow.

John - well done on your personal best for this year! Is there a website you use to enter races? I quite like running shorter distances so getting into racon might be a good idea!

Jolie - nope not me either! I would not wallpaper - it's just messy to remove unless you can hire someone to do it for you! :H

Rusty - yeah, I am 30...will be 31 in September! My dad is a recovering alcoholic so I have always been hyper sensitive about my alcohol consumption. As I am sure you know there is very much binge drinking culture in the uk and I had no off switch so decided to stop. So while I don't necessary classify myself as an alcoholic, I was defo a problem drinker and that was only going to go one way. So I cut it out an found all you wonderful people.

Yeah - I agree with rusty on the relationship between abandonment and excessive drinking. I felt abandon twice in my life...losing my mom and then when my dad left me with nothing in the uk (thru drink) at eighteen. Thing was that I only felt like my drinkig became a problem after I finished my exams (at 25) and no lover had that focus. I spent so long burying the pain of feeling abandoned that when I had to deal with it, I dealt with it badly and all my emotions would come out when I was drinking. Don't get me wrong, I do go through m daya thinking woe is me but I do have my momenta. I adjust glad al doesn't make those moments ten times worse.

Xx

[Lavande]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Good morning May Movers,

Half-way thru the month.......wow!

Thanks for putting me in tears already this morning Rusty - just kidding :H
Everything you said about feelings of abandonment is absolutely true for me. I hate feeling like an 'island'. I really need loving, human attachment :l

Jolie, I have experience with that crappy, nasty old dust covered, allergy producing wall paper. :upset: Wear a mask!!! Honestly

Hi Cassia!

I have to run right now but I'll be back.
Wishing everyone a good AF Monday!

Lav

[rustop61]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Hi everyone

Having a crazy week so not getting much time to post. Daughter had her 17th birthday party at home on Saturday night. It went ok but it was stressful, thats it no more parties at home. If she wants an 18th it will be in a hotel like her sisters. We have a graduation cermony with mass and a reception for my older daughter tonight. The 17 year old Transition year graduation is tomorrow night. Wednesday the older one has an audition at one of the Universities for a scholarship, school tour Thursday, so its all go.

Rusty - you struck a chord with me when you mentioned the abandonment issue and loosing people close to you. I lost my mother when I was 17 and most of my close extended family over the last few years. One more thing that a lot of us have in common.

Big hello to everyone else, have agreat week.

Rustop

[ladybirdheart]

Moving thru May - Week 2

A good late morning from here. John, I think your matter of fact response to that intrusive fellow was perfect. You probably know this but there is a French phrase ?l?esprit d?escalier? which literally means ?the wit of the staircase? or all of the clever things we think of later, when an uncomfortable or challenging exchange is already over. I find myself with increasing sobriety moving away from having my ego involved so much in banter let alone one-upmanship or sarcasm, you are gracious and have nothing in the world to be defensive about, and it is amusing that this gentleman thought you might. I can be very deadpan when asked why I am not drinking and I tell the simple truth that I don?t enjoy it anymore the way I used to.

Thanks everybody, Cassia, Rusty, Lav, Rustop for talking about loss and how it impacts our drinking history. So much loss is out of our control, people die without warning or with long goodbyes that defy us, and alcohol has had a complex fit in my life, helping me control strong emotion, putting a barrier between my self and intimacy, and keeping my world very small and contained. While I became more in control of my loneliness rather than at the mercy of others or bad fortune, it was still lonely and increasingly seemed to be also, for lack of a clever, witty remark, rather stupid. Have a good sweet day. Hi Jolie, Star, Dew, Cyn and all to come by. Love, Ladybird.

[Chillgirl]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Evening guys!

We should be on week 3 - I will start it tomorrow if I get here 1st.

Its never stopped raining today and apart from the gym I havent been very far which was a great opportunity to catch up on paper work and emails.

I just wanted to respond to something that really struck a cord with me that Cass said. When I think back to being 30 I would describe how I was then as a binge drinker. Always going over the top at nights out and parties. It was really only in my 40's it went from bingeing to nightly drinking and I think thats probably a common progression. So Cass, how absolutely wonderful to stop when you have. I would love these 10 years back.

Im feeling so much more organized, my brain can only cope with so much at once and now there has been some space cleared for other things. I applied for a job today in a real estate company and I have another one to call tomorrow which is market reseach about wills, doesnt sound very interesting but its only part time and would give me time to find something better. Everyone tells me its so hard to find work and there are 100's after every post, for now i will concentrate on getting interview experience and not take it personally if Im unsucessful.

McNotso arrives on Sunday for 3 nights and is staying in a nearby hotel as I have no space for guests, that will give me some breathing space as Im not sure if im looking forward to it or not. He is one of the kindest people I know but he is also one of the dullest and I feel bad to even say that but its true! :H

I joined the online dating and recieved over 40 responses. Out of that there were a possible 3 and one of them is calling me tonight to arrange a date!

[papmom3]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Chill-all of this is wonderful news (exceptof course for the weather but we on the east coast of the US are experiencing same). Please be safe about the date. You're a big girl with lots of smarts so I won't go into Mom mode. I'm not at all surprised at your 40 responses!! That is fabulous! Good luck on your interview and good job at being so pragmatic about the experience.
Who knows, maybe outside his comfort zone McNotso will be more interesting if just to see him squirm! I still can't forgive him about his attitude towards Elle. Hrmmphh. That is all.
:l

[Lavande]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Cassia,
You know I'm a grandmother & all but honestly........you are only two months older than my son - geez I am old!!! It's wonderful you have taken these steps now!

Rustop, the busy woman! Your kids are lucky to have you available & so involved

LBH, learning to deal with life sans AL is a real project, isn't it? It takes time to adjust your thinking & basically learn new ways to 'react' to certain situations. I learn a little more each day

Chill - wow! You have some fast movers over there on the dating scene - be careful now!!

papmom, still raining up there? The rain clouds parted for the day but I think they'l be back before long. I took my daughter & Lily outlet shopping in Lancasrer Co. today & we cracked when we saw a duck fly into the parking lot along with a bunch of sparrows - definitely too damp around here lately :H

[papmom3]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Hey Lav-yep, still raining and will be all week. No real hope of sunshine. Yesterday was a lot warmer than I thought it was but today is just downright raw!!

Things are still pretty sucky in my world. I stayed home today and worked from here. Just couldn't face the ride in and dealing with my boss who was in for the first time in a week. Did I tell you guys that last Sunday he supposedly fell and broke a cheekbone? Said he got up and fainted. Anyway, I did talk to job #1 this afternoon and he says there is nothing they can do about the offer. Some sort of union formula BS. I gave him my spiel, he totally agreed but no sale. I said I would sleep on it but seriously I would be looking at $160 less per month. Since I'm already in the hole each month by about $145 and that is taking into consideration the zero commute and that is with NO frills at all there is no way I can do this. I know that today was Employee Spree Day at Job #2 (that had to suck with the torrential downpours-no BBQ that's for sure!) so I didn't expect to hear anything. I'm not even going to pull the "I have another offer" card as I just wouldn't feel right. I also got a call from the RV guy up in Maine and it really is going to cost about 1K to get the brakes and tires done. My sis says go for it regardless of financial worries. I really do want my camper but am I being unrealistic? I might never be able to afford to tow it anywhere but I guess it could be a retreat when the boyz get on my nerves :H. Well, at least my brother can get some use out of it.
So that's whats happening in my world today. Pretty sucky but at least I'm AF!!

[Cassia]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Hi everyone! Just moved into my new place and have organised my room. I really love the area that I am living in so hopefully the commute will be ok and this could become my new home stomping ground. We will see.

Chill - Regarding the job situ, one thing that I found from loving in Scotland is that people tend to be pessimistic. Ok, there is a recession and all that but jobs are out there so dont be deterred! Keep plugging away, get the interviews and most importantly stay positive! Something will come up. You should consider setting up a linkedin profile (happy to help you out with that) and just reach out to people. What kind of real estate is your speciality. I did a few deals with the bank in commercial real estate so I can let you know about various companies etc. Enjoy your date! Excited to here about it.

Lav - oh this rain! I just left one wet country; I must have brought it with me. apologies!!! And your are not old at all!

LBH - good to see you and thanks for sharing about loneliness.

p3 - that totally sucks about the job but I agree, I don't think it's a good idea to do the counter offer if you don't have one. I always feel like those things can come back and bite you on the ass. I feel your pain about the camper. I want to get a car now but I just can't afford it right away...I have to get some more savings behind me. I think your sisters chat re: financial worries is ill advised. I actually think getting the camper may make you worry more especially if you won't be able to use it as you want because of the additional costs. Please think long and hard before taking the plunge.

Hey rustop! Sounds like a busy week. Enjoy and take time for yourself next week.

Well, I am exhausted! So much running about and still jetlagged. I really need to get back into some exercise because I am starting to feel it in my body. I think a gym membership will have to be bought sooner rather than later. I also have to phone the accountancy board here to see what exams I need to do to get licensed in nj. It's never ending!!

Speak to you all later. X

[Lavande]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Papmom - seriously.......
there will be other campers, maybe this isn't the right one for you
I have to agree with the $$ Lady Cassia - don't put yourself into an even bigger rut right now.

Here's something to make you smile. This is a baby shower gift for my niece. Maybe I'll make one for you too :H



Cassia - you get things done pretty quickly girl - good for you!!!
I won't hold this rain against you :H Can you make it go away?? :H

[papmom3]

Moving thru May - Week 2

Oh Lav-it is so cute! All my favorite animals too!

I have some time to think about the camper. Still need to talk to my financial advisor (dad). I can't beleive things have gotten so bad. Something always works out for me-could this be the one time it doesn't? I am definitely not taking Job #1 unless a miracle happens overnite and they suddenly find out they did the calculations all wrong. yeah right.

Thanks Cass for the advice. You are the $$ lady! Wow-you sure move fast but then I guess you have to. Good luck with the car thing-rental maybe? Do you have to commute to the city? As far as the gym goes, don't forget that walking and an inexpensive set of dumbbells and exercise bands plus dvds from the library do just as well (says she who can't even get up in time to take the dogs for a walk!!) until you can afford a membership. good to hear you are settled in your room-hopefully you can make it as cozy as possible until you can get your own place.

I've been paying $10 a month to Planet Fitness and haven't gone since Feb? I think. Will be cancelling that tomorrow. Will also cancel my WW etools since I haven't used those in months either. I do have new coupons so I know I have to get back there at some point but I have the points calculator on my droid and I can use the paper journals just as well as the etools. Etools is only 13/month but still. Little by little I will dig myself out of this!!