AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

universal;1113014 wrote: There are 2 more beers in the house, I am drinking the first one and will drink the second one.

:b&d: You know better. That is all.

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

Uni, let me tell you about the last drunk I had, I ended up in the Emergency Room with Alcohol poisoning.... A neighbour called an ambulance. I had NO idea how I got there, where my daughter was (although she was camping with Nana). I was dwelling on the death of my father and how I was 'robbed' of my childhood. I didn't understand why my mother hates me AND everyone I am related too thinks I am a chronic drunk that would never change.....

I was isolating, and let my whirling, self-pity brain get the better of me. Hospice has helped me so much since that day.... so has my Dr.

It scared the absolute shit out of me. That was my rock bottom. Although I can go periods of time without drinking, when I do, I drink more than ever before. Extremely dangerous.

I felt so much remorse and hated myself after that day for a few days. BUT, in order to really, really, really, realize that I can never drink again, I had to stand tall and just thank my lucky stars I didn't die.

I really have taken it as a sign. A real sign that alcohol will take my life unless I wake up and realize I cannot ever drink, ever again. My daughters will be without a mother. What a horrible affliction to instill on them. It was time to get help... talk to people who understand the grief I was feeling.

I have been now, fighting this with my everything. I want you to do the same. You and I and all of the rest of us here deserve a happy and healthy life. There is one without the alcohol!!! There is so much proof of that here! xoxo

(I didn't want to share this story with anyone that didn't know of it in my 'real life'. But I feel, in order to possibly help someone else, it was time.)

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

AFM, thank you so much for sharing that. I'm guessing that was hard to do. It is sometimes so difficult to talk about the worst of our emotional grief, and especially the worst of our efforts to deal with it using alcohol. It ALWAYS helps me when others share about how it was when they hit their bottom. The worst thing IMO for me to feel is a sense of isolation or a sense that my circumstances are unique, and therefore MUST be impossible to overcome. Knowing what you went through, and that you were able to overcome the drinking lets me know I can do it too.

I guess on some level I am just very very grateful that I didn't have to die to hit my bottom.

Uni, you do know better. :b&d: You can always chose this exact moment to pour the rest of it down the drain. I really really really hope you decide to do that.

DG

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

Uni-CUT THE CRAP!! That is all.

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

I vividly remember dumping the last of the wine down the drain ~ making a ceremony of it so I will never forget how fecking desperate I felt at that moment. I never want to feel that desperation again - never!

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

DG, it was the most scariest thing I had ever gone through thanks to my drinking alcohol. I awoke with such fright. Laying on my side, with an IV in my hand. I had a blood pressure cuff on my other arm. My first thought was, 'where was my daughter... then it was, was I in an accident?' Pretty fricken scary. I guess I had passed out on a lawn chair in the front yard for quite sometime. I live in attached townhomes, and thankful that a neighbour took caution and phoned an ambulance.

I drank a mickey of Fireball straight, in about an hour. (it's cinnamon flavoured whiskey). I found it (left behind by ex bf in the extra room closet on the top shelf). I should have dumped it out. It was full. I was alone. Really dumb.

When I was released from the Emergency Room and came home... I must have peeled off 20 stickers that were all over my body to read my vitals. From my ankles all the way around to the back of my shoulders. My face was severely swollen...... my ex bf did not recognize me when he picked me up. That was from the alcohol poisoning and when they apparently pumped my stomach and administered the charcoal.... it took over two days for the swelling to come down.

When the ambulance came I was non-responsive. I guess when the neighbour tried to wake me, I was non responsive.

It honestly was a horrific experience that has scared me sober. That was the first time in a couple of months that I had drank any alcohol. The fact is that I have NO CONTROL - quite obviously.

Also, written on the inside of my left hand was 'Dad, I really miss you xo'.

I didn't mean to overdose, but I did. I had to reach out and talk to someone and stop suppressing my angst over my father's death. I was also given a book to read called, 'Don't let death ruin your life'. It was good and helped.

This was in April. I vow, for the sake of my wanting to live and for that of my children's well being, I will never, ever, ever, ever touch a drop of alcohol ever again. EVER!

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

Happy Wed ABland! still weak but feeling better happy to say.

ok then, ommmmmmm "I love myself. I am a good person. I deserve a wonderful day and therefore, today I will be alcohol free."

nice

AFM bless you hon. glad you're with us xxxxxx

Uni, glad to hear you've got some AF support to get you back on your feet. Next week we're going to help you celebrate a week AF ok? pinky promise!

be well everyone

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

Hi again!

Deter, I am so glad you are returning to the land of the living! And very glad you are loving yourself today enough to be AF.

AFM, I am so sorry you had to go through all that. Sometimes in this life, the scariest moments really are a blessing if they save us from ourselves. It sounds like out of this horrifying experience, you reached out for some help dealing with your fathers passing and have also sorted out where AL belongs in your life - it doesn't belong in your life. Those are very important milestones on this journey of ours.

Hi Lav and P3!

Couch to 5K, Week 4, Run #2 is done! Another 16 minutes of running down the hatch.

OK you runners out there....M3 or anyone else.....How do you carry stuff with you? Like a towel for wiping sweat, a cell phone, some water, etc.?

One thing is for sure...running and sweating my a$$ off in 88 degree heat is a deterrent to drinking AL!!!!!! I would barf!!!!

DG

[momof3]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

((AFM)) A very close call. I am so glad you are still here with us. I know that if I had continued drinking, I would surely have been in such a life threatening situation in short order. Your story brings up memories of Cowgal whom we lost. I still wonder whether she intended to die or if it was an accidental death.

Hey DG, There are some nifty water bottle belts out there that you can clip around your waste. They usually have small pockets for some money, a protein, bar, or phone. There are straps you can buy to put around your arm too to carry a cell phone. I have one for my iPhone. Check out a running store or a place like Sports Authority (or whatever is the equivalent in your area). No room for a towel but you can buy little wrist things that are made of heavy terry cloth to wipe your brow with. Or, I tuck a bandana in my shorts or tie it on my water belt.

M3

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

momof3;1113175 wrote: Hey DG, There are some nifty water bottle belts out there that you can clip around your waste. They usually have small pockets for some money, a protein, bar, or phone. There are straps you can buy to put around your arm too to carry a cell phone. I have one for my iPhone. Check out a running store or a place like Sports Authority (or whatever is the equivalent in your area). No room for a towel but you can buy little wrist things that are made of heavy terry cloth to wipe your brow with. Or, I tuck a bandana in my shorts or tie it on my water belt.

M3

See? All KINDS of ideas I never would have thought up on my own! You guys are fABulous!

DG

[universal]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

Det - pinky promise......Love you.
7 days from now. Pinky promise from Nevada to Canada.....

[momof3]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

Doggygirl;1113185 wrote: See? All KINDS of ideas I never would have thought up on my own! You guys are fABulous!

DG

Love you DG. That is all.

Marshy, I forgot to mention that I LOVE the pic of you and your partner. What a couple of cuties you are.

M3

[momof3]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

universal;1113014 wrote: There are 2 more beers in the house, I am drinking the first one and will drink the second one and then I am done. My friend will kick my ass. I am so glad I have a sober friend to help me.

WTF???? Playing with fire is all that is.

[Newgrange]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

Hi all, just checking in. AFM I am sending you a huge hug. Very scary experience. Go easy.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wednesday May 11

Hi Newgrange. So glad to see you checking in.

M3, I love you too. :h:l

Uni, are you still lurking? I was just wondering if you have an appointment coming up soon with your therapist. If not, should you make one?

I hope you decided to put down the drink and maybe take a hot bath and have some water or tea. If I can do this and the rest of these Daily AFers can do this, I know you can do it too. None of us our super heros - just regular people like you.

Tomorrow is a new day.

DG