Moving thru May - week 3

[Lavande]

Moving thru May - week 3

Good Friday morning Nesters!

Moving like a slug here. A full week of clouds & rain will take the wind out of your sails, that's for sure

Had a blast with EB here last evening. He is so funny :H
I thank God for him everyday, he just makes my day

I need to get to work but I'll be back

Happy AF Friday to one & all!
Lav

[Chillgirl]

Moving thru May - week 3

Evening Guys

LBH - Its lovely to hear how you are enjoying sober parties, I too am no longer phased by AF socializing, what a difference from a year ago when I was terrified and so self conscious. It shows how we grow in strength.

Jolie - thanks for the story of your friend marrying the widower, how great to take on his children. This gentleman has now asked me to lunch next week and I will go.

Papmom - Im glad you are going ot give your fitness membership another go. For me its a priority for my wellbeing and therefore as essential as buying food. Its not just about keeping me physically well, the mental rewards are actually far greater.

Rustop - Looks like you are the Mum to young women now and not children. I loved my relationship with my Mum at that age, she really was my best friend.

Lav - I just love to hear about your dates with EB, meatballs and doughnuts! Delightful.....
We have also had a week of grey skies, rain, wind with low temperatures and it is set to continue next week :upset:

Despite the weather Im loving being back! Being such a control freak and organizer its amazing how I put up with the disorganized and backward ways in Portugal for so long. Its wonderful to meet my Mum most days for coffee and im interacting with everyone I meet which is such a novelty after the lauguage barrier. I thought Id turned into a really solitary person but Im realizing that there is a bubbly gregarious girl in there who loves to socialize.

[papmom3]

Moving thru May - week 3

The Paphut is Home! Pics tomorrow! zzzzzzz

[Cassia]

Moving thru May - week 3

Awesome! That has cheered me up no end! X

[Dewdrop]

Moving thru May - week 3

I can?t believe that my holidays are just about up and it?s back to work on Monday :upset: I?ve been working away in my garden the past few days, dodging downpours and it?s looking much better. Unfortunately gardens are simply a work in progress as I never seem to get to the bottom of it! Today though it?s looking good. The forecast for the weekend is not good with showers later so I am going to have a day off and relax before the onslaught of a working week. I?m off shopping with a friend and I have a 2 year old birthday next week so between us we will surely come up with something special.

I?m not going to try and respond to everyone as there has been so much happening but you are all in my thoughts, isn?t it funny how we are all connected and care for each other yet so far apart (even when the distance is short). My brother came over unexpectedly yesterday to help cut grass and when we were finished he said he fancied a beer, I had a fleeting craving for a cold glass of wine with him. Fortunately I had neither beer nor the wine in the house so we had a cuppa tea instead. I smiled to myself and briefly thanked you all as you were in my thoughts as I sipped my tea, there is something about collective consciousness at work I think. I?m wishing those of you with struggles ? cravings, miserable weather, money, and just life in general the strength to keep going because when you are on the ?dark side of the moon? you know where you are heading...... :l

Have a lovely weekend guys.

Dewdrop :h

[Stargazerlily]

Moving thru May - week 3

I am up way to early. I had a interesting day yesterday, both good and bad. However, I came through AF, and it was a close call for me. I actually stood in front of bottles of vodka and just could not buy it, I do not want to go back to how it was. It is not just enjoying a few drinks, it is misery, passing out, agonizing all night, feeling ill, I realize that, have for a long time. It is just weird how the hot weather makes it seem like it would be fun.

I got in an argument with my son, who is unfortunately still living here. I asked him to move out, told him to move out. He just needs to leave. He is disrespectful, entitled, and refuses to contribute to our household as an adult. He has been working for several weeks, and expects to have use of everything with no contribution on his part. He left, but not permanently. I just want him out, and a 25 year old man should have enough self-respect to get out. Unfortunately, with gas $4 a gallon and rents so high, it is not easy to afford your own place. However, I am in the state of mind that I do not care. So, it I will have to see if he again self-sabatoges himself and tries to blame me. I just am tired and wish he would get on with his life.

On the bright side, I bought a few plants and enjoyed some yard work. Cooked out and had some iced tea, delicious. Then, I crashed way too early, probably from the emotional exhaustion, and now I am up too early.

Dewdrop, vacation time always seem to slip away. I agree that the collective consciousness of this site keeps me grounded. It is wonderful to connect with people from all over the world on the same journey, I am amazed that we share so many of the same concerns. I too talked to my brother, and he told me that my sharing about the trouble I have with my off switch caused him to think seriously about where he is in his own drinking pattern.

He told me he has been able to have two drinks when out, a couple of times a week, then stop. His attitude is that any more than that is a mistake, and if he finds he cannot do that, he will stop completely. I told him that I cannot stop at two, I have tried and it just has not worked for me. He understood. He said he never drinks at home. He had decided on that in his twenties. He also was concerned about socializing, and mentioned that he has a group of friends who party to get drunk, and he is no longer willing to do that. We'll see. He stated that if you don't drink at all, you cannot associate with people who do. I was confused, until he explained that if the point is to get together to party, and you do not drink at all, it would be weird. I agree. Why would you hang with people who are focused on getting drunk?

Chill, it was so interesting to read about the cultural differences that you are experiencing. I wonder if the hot weather makes for a more laid back attitude? It would drive me crazy, too. How lucky you are to visit with your mother. The man you met sounds nice, I am pleased to hear you are going out for lunch with him soon. Have fun.

Pap, good you are getting your camper, it will be fun.

Has anyone heard about the Eat Clean eating plan? I am currently reading the book and find it interesting.

Have a great AF day.

[paguy]

Moving thru May - week 3

Good Saturday Morning!

I've been enjoying myself here in Florida for a few days and will head back home tomorrow April and May are 2 of my favorite months down here. The weather is predictably very nice - not too warm and little humidity. What I enjoy so much is the rich, lush landscaping of the community where I am. The complex is about 30 years old (which has some drawbacks) but the positive side is that all of the landscaping is mature and just gorgeous. The oleander right now is bursting in red, pink and white. I love it!

As I was taking my post-dinner walk last night, I suddenly realized that this is my first trip to Florida since I 'kicked the sauce' (LBH - I'm borrowing your term ). What an unbelievable difference. I feel so much more alive and aware and FREE. No longer spending my vacation time waking up hungover and beginning to plan my drinking for the day around noon time. So much wasted time and no real purpose.

That's not to say that I haven't had fleeting thoughts of drinking since I've been here. The surrondings themselves are the triggers I used to succomb to all the time. I'm on vacation! The weather is beautiful! Let's get trashed! - NOT!

Star - I found your comments about the conversation with your brother interesting and I tend to agree with him. I am finding myself pulling away more and more from situations where I know people are getting together to party and drink themselves into oblivion. I cringe now everytime I hear one of my friends say that she 'enjoys her glass of red wine.' I feel like saying, 'It's not a glass you're drinking, honey... It's more like a bottle'. I know because I'm the one who cleans up the patio the morning after and the empties are still out there.

Sorry you continue to have difficulty with your son, Star. Entitlement seems to be rampant in young adults today. Based on how I was raised (I started my first job the day after I turned 16 and have never been without a job since then), it's hard for me to relate to these behaviors. And, not having children of my own, it's hard for me to say how I would react. Hang in there.

Papmom - Be sure to post pictures of the 'Paphut', will you?

Chill - You are an extrovert, right? Of course, you want to be out with people and socialize. That's how you draw your energy! I think it's great that you are settling in and getting to know people. If it was me (extreme introvert here), it would be 6 months before I would even think about getting to know know people! :H

Cassia - I think you asked about websites that list running activities. Here is one that I use alot. It has a section where you can search for all types of athletic/outdoor activities in your area: Online Registration & Local Event Directory by Active.com | Sports, Running, Classes, Camps, Training Plans, Triathlons, Marathons, Soccer, Drills & Youth Sports

I have running events the next 3 weekends back home: a 5K, 10K and then another 5K. Planning these events really helps me stay focused and driven.

Yesterday, at the pool, I had some positive reinforcement that made me feel great. I was at one end of the pool area reading for about an hour and then got up and walked by some folks who live here year round and they said they didn't recognize me. I told them this is the 'new me'. I didn't share with them that there's alot more to the new me than shedding 40 pounds

Greetings to all and hope everyone has a great AF weekend!

[Lavande]

Moving thru May - week 3

Good morning May Movers!

Yawn - I didn't bother getting myself up until 8:30.
BUT the sun is back & I can't wait to get outside

Have a baby shower to attend this afternoon but I won't be staying too long. I'd rather be out playing in the dirt ~ mud that is

papmom, I hope your camper likes it's new home

Greetings Cassia - hope you see the sun today too!!

Dewdrop, going back to work after vacation was always such a sad thing for me too. I hope you can retain your relaxed & calm feeling for a while.

Star, I'm sorry you are still dealing with your son's issues. My best friend's son, 28 years old is in jail right now - due to be released next week. His ADHD life led him into a lot of stupid & illegal activities over the years & it all finally caught up with him. He was jailed because he (stupidly) never finished the ARD program he was sentenced to several years ago after a DUI. Once they had him in custody the powers to be realized there were also loads of unpaid fines & even child support judgments against him. He has no driver's license, not a dime to his name & no where to live when he is released next week. I feel so bad for my girlfriend struggling with all this & feel bad for you as well:l I wish you strength!

John - 40 lbs? Good God, I am supremely jealous :H
I'm glad you are enjoying your vacation

I have a baby shower to attend then plan to spend the rest of the day playing in the garden

Wishing everyone a good AF Saturday!
Lav

[Cassia]

Moving thru May - week 3

Hi everyone! Been a bit AWOL lately with getting settled and organized. I actually had a rough night last night with just general sadness. I miss my husband. I miss my friends. I dont miss the weather. I miss my cat. I dont miss my job. Sorry rambling.

It was a gorgeous day in jersey city today. I looked at my first apartment, it was a hole. I have bags of time but want to get an idea of what I can get within my budget so my expectations aren't too high. I had a great Skype session with my mates earlier. It was a real laugh. Didn't feel sad after, it just felt quite normal.

So I nearly bought nonalcoholic champagne today. Don't know why, just been feeling a bit out of the mix cuz I am not drinking. I guess I am just lonely and want to feel like part of the company and be normal. Anyway, I didn't even think to buy the alcoholic stuff which is good.

Apologies for not responding to everyone individually but it has been great reading what you are all up to. Star, I am sorry you are having such a hard time with your son but I agree - at 25 he needs to stand on his own two feet and he an adult. Yes gas and rent are expensive but you make sacrifices. I think you are doing the right thing. Stay strong!

Love yas mucha
Lynne x

[Cassia]

Moving thru May - week 3

Ps - lav I am heading over your way tomorrow. Going to Levittown. X

[Lavande]

Moving thru May - week 3

Cassia, Levittown is a lot closer to John's area I think
I'm actually located as far south as you can go in PA. It only takes me a few minutes to walk into Maryland Have a good trip to PA! Hope your apartment search goes well!

Went to my niece's baby shower today. I have to admit, once again not being too thrilled with a few loud & obnoxious females hanging around the 'spiked' punch bowl ~ really When did they start serving booze at baby showers anyway??

I did have a nice time hanging out with my 2 newest granbabies this afternoon though

Wishing everyone a good night!
Lav

[paguy]

Moving thru May - week 3

Good Evening Friends:

Cassia - Levittown is in my county (Bucks) - about 30 minutes from where I live (Doylestown, PA area). I'm not too familiar with that part of Bucks county. Are you looking for a place to live there?

After I finished my morning posting here, I went out to the car to drive myself to the gym and zippo - the battery was dead - ARGH! I called the car rental company to have someone come out to give me a charge and they informed me there would be a charge of $49 - NOT! I remembered that I have a AAA membership so I called them and they came out and started the car for FREE. Then, I called the car rental company back and told them I wanted a new car because I was concerned that the battery would not hold the charge and I'd be SOL again. They told me I would have to drive the car back to the airport to get a new one. I wanted it towed but they said I would be charged for the tow!!! Needless to say, I will never use this rental car company (National) again.

So, my morning was hijacked by unplanned events (this doesn't go over too well with 'Mr. Everything Has to Be Planned :H )but I kept a level head and took care of what needed to be done and I was finished by 11am. Then, I went to the gym and ran my 8 miles. I was determined to not let the unplanned events ruin my day and set me off. In the olden days, that is all I would have needed to justify starting cocktail hour in the sun at 12 Noon.

I actually ended up having a very nice day. Had a very nice lunch overlooking the Gulf of Mexico and a very enjoyable dinner this evening. Back to reality tomorrow morning!

There is such a wonderful breeze blowing off the water right now - I have all the windows open and I'm savoring the moment. Ok, I'll shut up now... :H

Lav - Alcohol at baby showers just doesn't sound right. Unfortunately, our society today uses any type of excuse to include alcohol.

Well, folks, hope you all have a restful evening.....

[Chillgirl]

Moving thru May - week 3

Good morning gang

So much going on here as usual....

Star - I'm really sorry to hear about your argument with your Son, confrontation is such a negative drain on our energy. Well done on walking away from the vodka, you don't drink anymore, remember

Cass - sorry for your emotional ups and downs, it would be strange not to have these feelings, sometimes sadness for what I've left hits me like a tidal wave and I immediately change my focus to what I've gained being here. The weather has got worse since you left, it's been really stormy.

Paguy - it's just the best feeling when the new you gets noticed and you have much to be proud of. I used to be pretty out going but then I thought it had just been the booze. I then went through so many stages, of shyness, being painfully self aware etc and now I seem to have emerged out the other side just as outgoing as I was before AF which is quite a surprise to me. What I love is that my confidence this time round is real and I own it!

Lav - is there anything left socially these days that doesn't involve AL?!

I had the most amazing date yesterday! I met this lovely guy for a coffee and got home 8.5 hours later....... Coffee turned into dinner then he wanted to take me to see the house he is renovating but I didn't want to leave Elle home alone much longer so we stopped off and picked her up. She then met Charlie his Irish Setter and we all rambled through this old house which he is beautifully restoring. We then wrapped up and braved the rain for a walk on the nearby beach in the dark. Then back for mugs of tea before he finally took us home. Whatever becomes of this, I think I just meet a special friend. McNotso arrives later today and it's going to be quite a task to entertain him for 3 days when the forecast is for torrential rain! :upset:

[Dewdrop]

Moving thru May - week 3

Okay first things first - Papmom I haven?t had the chance to say a huge congratulations on your 1 year anniversary, that is such an amazing achievement lady and you should be very, very proud of yourself. I know that you are going to really enjoy the paphut (even if it comes with a few money worries) and will find a way around it all. You are such an energetic and lively person and I empathise when life sucks and gets you down. Keep working away on the job front and something will come along for you this year I am sure of it. Star I?m sending you big :l:l on the family situation with your son, I know this is a very difficult situation for you and not one that can be remedied easily, just know that you are in our thoughts and we send on the strength to find a solution (even in the short term). Just stay away from the vodka, right. Paguy your trip to Florida sounds wonderful and I had no idea you had lost so much weight, what a healthy life you have now with your running and also such a healthy attitude to life. I can?t believe the hard neck of the rental company talk about bad customer service!!

Lav you have not had much success with the weather your way and I can understand you feeling a bit fed up with it, hopefully there is sunshine under the clouds waiting to break through for a change. And I am with you on the wine/punch at baby showers or any gathering, drinking seems to have sneaked its long tentacles into all parts of our culture and its now acceptable anywhere, anytime. I feel I sound a little evangelical but it strikes me more and more the longer that I am sober. I am seriously thinking of getting a kindle and have looked at them on and off for a few months now so it?s interesting to hear that you love yours. I think I might treat myself at the end of the month.
Cassia you are settling into your new life like a duck to water, stay strong when the drinking thinking starts because you have done the hard part. Once you get your teeth into your new job and flat hunting you will be busy, busy, busy and have no time to think those thoughts and remember the L in HALT. Chill you are not hanging about on the dating front ? good on you girl and you seem to be meeting some lovely men, isn?t it comforting to know that there are still some out there. You have every right to be feeling confident and able to face the world head on, I?m sure you will find some way to entertain your guest for the few days he?s with you despite the weather.

I had a very restless sleep last night for the first time in ages, was awake most of the night and finally got up at 4:45 and made a pot of tea and messed about on ebay and amazon for ages (just looked, didn't buy!). It has taken me a long time to sort out my sleep, well over 6 months but the last couple have seen an improvement so that I am usually getting a good unbroken sleep of 6 hours, however that can be disrupted by work ?issues? now and again. So last night was a surprise but it made me realise how much I?ve improved on that front and the odd restless night I can deal with especially when today is Sunday. It?s another rainy day so I?m going to potter about the house today, dye my hair chestnut brown and sort out some work clothes so that I?m ready for next week. Can you believe that we will be Moving into Week 4 shortly and then it?s June ? any ideas for a name??

Dewdrop :h

[Stargazerlily]

Moving thru May - week 3

Names for June, how about joyous, jubilant, jazzy......I love June, it is my favorite month of the year.

I appreciate all the support, thanks. Yesterday was a good day, I planted some stuff and felt close to nature. It was raining a bit, a good time to plant. Now, I have to keep up with the plants, something I normally did not do. Today, a beautiful, warm, sunny morning. Everything is so green, I love it. I think that living pretty far north, I really appreciate when the warm weather comes after the harshness of winter.

PAguy, what a great time in Florida. I am afraid to go on vacation for the very reason of drinking. I think I need more time. I am jealous of 40 lbs, wow. Good for you. Thanks for your reflections on the changes in perception made when AF. I am so surprised that my brother continues to have dialog with me about alcohol. He has had some serious episodes, it runs in the family.

Dew, thanks for your lovely post. You are a great member of this group. Time is moving quickly. I hope your weather improves. I understand that Scotland can have rainy/cold summers, is this true?

Chill, you never cease to amaze me, meeting new people, being open to new experiences. How fun to explore someone's house that is being renovated and getting to know a new friend. I do agree that having guests is stressful, with the entertaining and all that. Next weekend is a holiday in the states and we are having my daughter and sil to visit. I am already starting to plan activities to keep them busy. I hope the weather is good, although it usually always rains on Memorial Day weekend!!!!

Lav, hope you had a good Saturday. I cannot believe there was alcohol at a baby shower. The last baby shower I was at did not have booze. However, I have even been to kid's birthday parties with booze. I don't approve, the adults need to focus on the kids, not getting a buzz. Oh well, we can only control ourselves.

Cassia, change is hard. We are here for you, keep posting. I only made a job change and have struggled, you have moved to a new country, left husband and family, of course it will be challenging. Hope you find a good place to live.

Hello to Rusty, Jolie, LBH, Guitarista, and all, have a great AF day.