The drunk scientist

[Kaslo]

I thought I would relate last nights experience. I am 57 years old, and sober now for 4.5 months. I was always a closet drinker, never drank much while working out in the field. And certainly never got hosed at conferences. I drank too much at the end in my room, before going home, at home alone, etc. I am at a conference in my field in a northern city in Canada, and last night I stopped in at the dinner, arriving to late for the main event. At the end of the night i found myself talking with my mentor, who was not drunk and some expert in something (doesnt matter what) who was clearly soaked in booze. He was not listening, actually falling asleep while standing, slurring, saying innapropriate and embarrassing stuff, and I just thought, you poor bugger, I wonder if he knows how pathetic he looks and I was a bit angry that this custom we have of drinking to excess seems so accepted and even encouraged.....because he IS an expert and a fine scientist and has contributed a lot but, he just looked like a complete idiot last night. It was sad. Thats all nothing profound to say about it. Dr. X will have a hell of a hangover while the speakers drone on today....

One thing is for sure...

Kaslo:hiya:

[Doggygirl]

The drunk scientist

Hi Kaslo. I was holding my breath reading that example from your conference. Drinking at industry events is the norm in my field too. (at least when i was a corporate slave) I always thought it was ironic that drinking and partying seemed "expected" and yet "overdoing it" was the kiss of death.

I realize now that drinkers like me were really the ones taking all the risk. I'm sure there were plenty of other people at all of these events who either didn't drink at all (and retired at a reasonable hour) or just had one or two. That just wasn't me.

I can also relate to the drinking in isolation. At events, I ALWAYS made sure there was booze in the room for before AND after the official events.

Oy. I'm just glad to not be living that way any more.

DG

[Kaslo]

The drunk scientist

DG, thanks for your response. I hope I didnt cause you dismay. AL overconsumption IS the kiss of death at these things. I know I must have at a few of these little episodes too.... but not many, as I was terrified of exposing that side of myself to my peers and superiors in my field. Still am. Now at least I can just worry about screwing up the facts and interpretation while sober...

The thing is, at professional events with other academics, regulatory scientists, etc MOST if not all people may overindulge but they dont become obviously impaired, and this fellow was doing his best to hide that he probably had drank at least one or more of the many bottles of wine left out for everyone, two to four per table! I recognized his state because I saw myself in him. Its just that this disease really crosses all lines and infects a huge number of people in all walks of life and we all deal in it and with it in different ways. Yes this guy was taking a risk, to be seen as a drunk at a scientific conference is a huge risk. To hide that fact is a matter of temporary attenuated abstinence, something I did all the time. I am very glad I am free of that burden.

Incidentally I did not see him among the participants this morning in the round table introduction....poor guy. Part of the difficulty of dealing with this, is there is so much shame and secrecy around it, and AL is SO hard to shake off. Thanks for responding to this. Again, I hope I caused you no harm.

We are in it to win it. AF for life (I fervently hope).

Kaslo.

[retteacher]

The drunk scientist

Kaslo: I too was a solitary drinker, similar to the pattern you described of yourself. I was able to function as a professional pretty well by pacing myself, not drinking as much during the week, & a number of other tricks that kept me going in my job. I retired at the height of my drinking & it would probably have interfered w/my job performance had I continued to work during the alcoholic progression. I thank God I got off the merry-go-round when I did. My bottom was pretty humiliating, but I think it could have gotten much worse had I not heeded its warning.

I feel for your over-drunk colleague. I've been there, done that. The following day's regrets & reciminations were awful. If I couldn't remember what I'd said or done, that too was bad. And the hangovers: I can't imagine anything worse than going to a conference hungover.


Mary

[Doggygirl]

The drunk scientist

Oh no Kaslo - you did not cause me any grief!!! Whenever I read something here that just hits very close to home I stop breathing for a very short time. (not long though!!) So all I meant was that the story you shared has very familiar threads for me.

Toward the end of my corporate life as my alcoholism progressed to an unmanageable level, I missed many a morning meeting / function due to incapacitating hangovers. My ability to push through all that really diminished in the end.

Like you Mary - I'm glad I got off the merry go round before any more consequences occurred....

DG

[Lavande]

The drunk scientist

Kaslo,
Your colleague sounds like a living example of what we don't want to be (anymore).
Hope he comes to his senses sooner rather than later.

[Kaslo]

The drunk scientist

Some very interesting comments here, and thanks DG, Lav and Retteacher for posting. Yes, being hung over at a conference would be painful in the extreme. Especially if you are a presenter. Yikes. Like Ret i was very circumspect. Not that this is admirable, its not. I was an idiot, as soon as I got myself home. Its all relative in time and space.... I dont think that poor fellow even came back to the meetings at all now. I wonder how many people face this in professional life???

[Determinator]

The drunk scientist

I'm pretty sure I was granted an honorary doctorate in drunk and disorderly conduct. LOL sad more than funny I guess, but it's good not to be there anymore. Well done Kaslo on maintaining your path in the presence of such things.

[Stargazerlily]

The drunk scientist

What a sad but common story. I too have been to work related social events and conferences, and have seen my share of people making fools of themselves. Why or why do they serve alcohol at work events. I guess the better question is why would anyone drink at one? I was always very sneaky, never drinking at work stuff, knowing I could not trust myself, and hating the way I act and talk when drinking. I am just not myself. Is anyone really?

Thanks for sharing this story, it is good to keep things fresh, for all of us to forget the past is a sure path to repeat it.

[momof3]

The drunk scientist

Kaslo,

Reading this story made me cringe because it reminded me of how I must have appeared at many a business event/conference.

During the last 2 years of my drinking, I began to lose clients because of it. After a long day of meeting, I would "unwinde" at the bar at the hotel; many of which had happy hours. I would end up getting stinking drunk and cannot even recall the things I must have said.

Now that I am sober, it amazes me how people's behavior changes from drinking; even when someone has had 2 or 3 drinks. They start repeating themselves or saying things that really don't make much sense.

Thanks for sharing this story. I am so happy that you are here and a big congrats on 4 1/2 months.

M3

[KateH1]

The drunk scientist

Reading experiences such as these, makes me shudder! Like Sherrie and DG, I am also so very greatful not to be living with my own drinking behavior any longer! I spent my career in the business world, in an industry that was big on drinking and partying. Tens of thousands of dollars were spent on Marketing and Sales meetings, corporate "retreats" as well as client and partner events. At every one of these events, professionals at every level would be anywhere from a "Little Tipsy", to "Blackout Drunk"....so sad! I fully admit that I was at one time or another in both of these catagories. No matter how many times, I would "Plan" not to drink too much, I often did just that. I can clearly remember the shame and fear of facing colleagues after such events, knowing that Silence and pretending did not make this shame disappear!

The thing is, no matter how intelligent, accomplished or successful we are, when we are alcoholics, we simply cannot drink. If we have the first drink, we never know where we will end up at the end of the night. Alcohol controls the alcoholic, the alcoholic never controls the alcohol.

These days, since I no longer drink, During events, I try to reach out to colleagues that I see might be going over the edge......encourage them to go and get food with me, or switch to something other than another drink. I have also reached out and shared some of my story over lunch etc. We can all reach out in a kind and none threatening way.

I am so very greatful to have found my way out! I wish the same for others!
Kate