monday 30 may af

[bear73]

day 1- for the last time. I chose to drink - I didn't enjoy it - I'm not doing it again.
I didn't get myself out of the situation.I would have had a better time sober, I let the 'I can just have 1' thoughts creep in.Onwards and more vigilance - I had drinking thoughts and chose to go out anyway - friends came over for drinks before we went out (unplanned).
It threw me and I knew there was wine in the fridge.I chose to drink.

today I am pottering and not feeling sorry for myself,or beating myself up but moving on.
Off to gym later, watching dvds tonight and making a nice home made paella and using up old bananas in chocolate and banana muffins.

I need to be vigilant and not complacent.

[Doggygirl]

monday 30 may af

Hi Bear. You post made me think back to my big relapse. (the one after 60 days af) There was a bottle of vodka in the house. I had left it there all that time. I thought I was proving how strong I was over the vodka. Well, I should have listened to the people who suggested not having any AL in the house, especially during early sobriety. Once I finally managed to get back on the wagon, I did not make that mistake again. Not sure if that was a mistake for you or not - I'm sure you will determine that as you assess what happened and modify your plan.

Scottish Lass, welcome!!! You can stop the madness now if you want to. You don't have to wait. You don't have to drink at the upcoming conferences. I used to attend a LOT of business functions and yes, there was a lot of drinking going on. But you know what I have realized?? For every person getting smashed there are at least two others who are nursing a drink or two and can't wait for it to be over. And there is also at least one other who is not drinking AL. In my drinking days, I gravitated to the heaviest drinkers. That way I didn't feel "so bad" and could convince myself that "everyone drinks like me." Now that I am a non-drinker, what a revelation to find that there are other non-drinkers or almost non-drinkers around that I can find and hang with. Who knew.

If we wait for the perfect time to stop, it will never come. I remember when I was in that horrible down spiral after relapse. I kept saying I was going to stop after the next event....after vacation.....after a holiday......after the weekend....etc. Chief PM'd me and said WHY NOT STOP RIGHT NOW? Finally I did. If I can do it, and these other fabbies can do it, you can do it too Scottish Lass, Cuckoo, and everyone else struggling in the early days AF.

Hello all other fabbies! I'm off to visit Dad this morning, and possibly see the brothers from out of state. Nobody has bothered to make any plans to get together. There is a part of me feeling a bit pissy about that. (the self centered side of me) The other side of me realizes it's a hectic time for all. I think my brothers are helping my Mom with stuff too. And of course all time spent with Dad by all of us whenever we can is the top priority right now. So I'm going to go visit and if I encounter the others, fine and if not, that will be fine too.

Later, Mr. D and I are hope to go fly kites.

Hope you all have a fabulous day!

One thing is for sure...there will be NO drinking for this DG today. I don't need the misery in my life.

DG

[cuckoosnest83]

monday 30 may af

Unfortunately, bear, same here. My neighbors saw me pull up in the driveway and called me over for a cook out. Ended up having 2 beers. I was feeling so strong on Saturday because my computer crashed and I couldn't log onto MWO but I made it through without drinking and I was feeling very proud of myself because I didn't succumb to the chatter in my head that day.

Don't know what else to say. No excuses. Just need to start day 1 again today.

[Doggygirl]

monday 30 may af

I strongly suggest a written plan of daily ACTION that helps keep one sober. My plan forces me to be honest with myself. My plan gets revised over time so it continues to work for me. I can't leave my sobriety to chance.

Good that you are right back here and working on it again.

DG

[Guitarista]

monday 30 may af

Hiya Bear, DG, Cuckoo, and Fababber's everywhere!

Have a safe, sober, and magical day folk's. We must be ruthless with our sobriety. There is no 'if, but, maybe, or try', for me anyway. Of course, the choice is our's. Folk's with a terminal illness don't get another chance, but we do.

Best wishes all!

[Lavande]

monday 30 may af

Good morning Abbers!

Sorry bear & cuckoo that you decided to drink!
It is a decision & the only way to get sober & remain that way is to consistently say 'No Thanks'! It is hard at first but if you stick with your plan it does get easier.

Good morning DG & G!
I'm not flying a kite today but will be super busy all day prepping for today's BBQ, playing with the kiddies & being grateful for my choice to not drink

Wishing everyone a safe & AF Memorial Day!

Lav

[Kaslo]

monday 30 may af

Good morning all, what a gorgeous morning it is here. Very sorry to see Bear and Cuckoo reporting back to square one, but I have been there myself and its unfortunate, but you CAN DO IT. You can finally get past the point where you are free and dont look back. Having said that I am now officially at four and a half months and I could slip up too, except I am determined this time. This time, I really refused to get back into it because I made myself read medical journal articles on what AL overuse (which turns out to be a few drinks a day, and worsens with volume consumed) actually does to the liver, kidneys and blood system, then to the brain and the rest of you. Day one, again, but like DG says make a LIST. Keep it with you and consult it, what you abs HATE about AL. Guitarista, Lav and DG...have a wonderful day AF.

I am about to get up and get packed for a week of work at the beaches. Its a veg study, and its lovely. Its studying the effects of flooding on vegetation... I have a crew of four including my youngest daughter who is a biology student (she wants to teach), two senior biologists (one is pregnant) and two techs and myself. Gotta get going... Sposta rain, so I gotta find my better raingear. I may not be back on here till later in the week so have a great early week with projects and enjoying a clear head and healthy lifestyle. I myself and SO INCREDIBLY grateful to be free from the beast of AL binge drinking.

This is near Bonnington in the Kootenay River. Rivers rule!

[jennyneric]

monday 30 may af

Good Morning.

Sorry Bear and cuckoo, I have been there! Well I think most of us have really. Dust off and just jump back on and keep going!

I had major al premeditation dreams yesterday during my nap (yes I'm 35 and love naps!) I woke up and had to talk myself out of it. I have just been board sitting here watching movies for 2 days resting my foot. I can only do 30 minutes of activity at a time without it really starting to hurt again. The swelling is way down though and I think the rest has been good. I so want to go to the gym but I can't ware a tennis shoe just a flip flop and I don't think they would like that much. As for swimming, I think it will be another week or two till I can kick without pain. Grrrr so stupid! Breaking my ankle. Let me tell you though, it might be the one thing that makes me stay sober for good. It is very hard to forget a broken ankle and what it felt like to tell everyone how you broke your ankle. And the best part is I had to make stuff up because I can't remember how I broke it, I just know it's broken.

Well enough of that. How are y'all? DG have you run again? How did your knee feel? Lav, I would love to come to your BBQ! Hope y'all have fun! Keslo pretty picks, I start school tomorrow, I am going for a bio chem degree, it may take me 10 years but hey look where you get to work, I think its worth it. I want to do DNA processing though so I don't think my surroundings will be as pretty as yours are! Hey G good to see you round these parts!

Hello to all to come. Have a great AF day!

[greeneyes]

monday 30 may af

FABBIES!! I made it though sunday's posts but can't do today's right now.

DG, wet your hair and apply a bit of condtioner before you put on your cap. Just get one from a sporting goods store. TYR, speedo etc probably make them. It will be tight. You need goggles. Are you stretching for knees before you run? I bet that was in M3's link.

Gotta go - the gym closes at 2 today. They are open 7 - 2 today for the holiday. Isn't that weird? You think they'd be open later instead of earlier.

[momof3]

monday 30 may af

Good Morning All,

Hope you both get back on the wagon and stay on it Bear and Cuckoo. I must say Bear, that when I read you post yestereday morning about the birthday party and the "boozy" (your word) night it was going to be, it made me cringe. Especially when you said that you have been having drinking thoughts. I don't know of anyone who can "party" and be around others who are drinking and be successful at being AF free in the early stages. But you know that right?

DG, I am usually the big planner in my family. I have been super busy with work and did not plan a thing this weekend. And guess what? We are not doing anything. Big payback for my hubbie though. I told him that I had lots to catch up on around the house since I've not done a thing because of work so he could hang out with the kids :H Happy to hear you have a good pair of running shoes. I could never really tell when my were getting too worn other than when I started feeling some pain (which is too late). I know there are guidelines about there depending on how much you run per week. For some reason, an average of 6 months comes to mind. Fyi, I know nothing about swimcaps but sounds like Greenie gave some good advice.

Greenie, How did things go with your company this weekend? Did you survive it?

Jenny, Good for you for not acting on your drinking thoughts. Just keep busy if you can't exercise. Congrats on going for the biochem degree!!

Kaslo, I envy your life!!! I love rivers...the sounds, the smell, the movement. I recently took my kids to Florida and canoed and swam in the gorgeous Spring fed rivers there. The water is crystal clear.

Lav, I wish you a beautiful day with your children and grandchildren.

Superhot here today..in the 90s

[momof3]

monday 30 may af

Interesting column in today's paper about socializing and drinking. I found the comments in response to the column even more interesting.

Pulling back from the alcohol scene - The Washington Post

[scottish lass]

monday 30 may af

Day 2 has started well, thanks for all the support and cheers! Feeling good today, slept well (thanks to calms forte) and no hangover - what could be better!
I will work out how to stop having to start again - I really will!
and I will use this support to get thru the struggles I know June will bring me - wise words Determinator! Nursing drinks DG - I will look for the nursers and avoid my usual drinking buddies!
Happy Memorial Day/Whitsun to all

[Lavande]

monday 30 may af

Hey Abbers!

Long, hot, humid day but it was good

Kaslo, that picture is awesome!!!

Just wanted to tell you that an univited guest showed up at the BBQ with a cooler of beer. Yes, it was YB - he invited himself. He drank several beers, my son had a few, my son-in-law never drinks and that was that! I didn't say anything about the beer (I never cared for beer) & I didn't get offered any :H

Wishing everyone a good night - I'm beat

Lav

[Determinator]

monday 30 may af

weeeee, happy, sore, sunburned and happily AF here

wrapped up my class with flying colors and got my certification. going to be taking it real easy for a couple days now, although I've got to be back on the road Wed so I have to get my mind back in gear for dealing with hotel lifestyle.

Bear and Cuckoo, much strength to you. No al in my house either, it's just not logical to have that laying around waiting to cause trouble.

great job on being AF at your barbyQ Lav,

Kaz, another stellar photo, thank you and wow.

well, time to do laundry, clean guns and sort a few emails

be well loves