tuesday 31 May af

[bear73]

hey all - final day off - and it's a busy one - meeting friend for coffee,buying cruelty free perfume, buying flavoured coffee,off to the gym, cooking healthy dinner and then off to visit injured team mate.

I have been doing some reflecting I need to listen to myself - I was having thoughts (whenever I get to 2 months, 1 month, 3 months a little bit of me still talks of moderation BUT I can't do it,I don't even want to do it and I know it - I need to ignore that voice).
I didn't even enjoy the drinking/the feeling drunk. The rest of the wine is down the sink.

I had choices - I could have gone for an hour,made excuses and left - I could have chosen to 'ride out' people having pre party drinks.I could have stayed home.

I have put on weight due in part to alcohol and resultant bad eating and I didn't go to the gym yesterday.Refocusing on my goals today and what I want from my life.
Alcohol is poison, it has only brought me problems,prevented me from being the best I can be and I don't want it in my life anymore.

[papmom3]

tuesday 31 May af

there ya go Bear! That's good thinking, not stinkin' thinkin'. You had one other choice: When your friends said "Hey Bear, we're meeting at your place for pre-party drinks!!" you could have said, "sorry guys, I don't drink anymore and have no interest in preparty or any type of drinks. I'll meet you at the event." And then like you said, gotten the heck out of dodge after an hour. Sometimes early in our sobriety we can only make an appearance and then call it a night if we even make an appearance at all.
Next time listen to your AF voice. It's worth it.

[jennyneric]

tuesday 31 May af

Good Morning Bear, P3,

Bear. . .I have that mod voice also at 30, 60, 90. The voice that says " hey your cured! you will be fine, have a drink or two you'll see! we can do this now!" That is just the beast in a different form. He's lying, you won't be fine but he will be! DG had it at 60 days. Greenie had it at a year and so did P3 a little bit. It's pretty common so don't worry. Everyone here understands. Just know that if you are going to count days that voice will be there sometimes when you think you have reached a milestone, celebrate that milestone and acknowledge it. . .with something other than a drink. Happy travels! 8 more weeks is just around the corner!

I start school this evening! I'm nervous! Haven't been to school in 18ish years. Class is at 8:10 so I want to get there at 7:30 so I can get a parking place and find my class and pick my seat. Also I think I need to get a student ID and a parking pass. I think I will try to do that when I get off work. Have a great Tuesday guy's. I'll check back later!

[greeneyes]

tuesday 31 May af

** SANDWICH ALERT! **

bear73;1123329 wrote: Alcohol is poison, it has only brought me problems,prevented me from being the best I can be and I don't want it in my life anymore.

AMEN, SISTAH!!!!

The self-invited guests thing turned out fine. She is friends with FH & brother from way back which is how I inherited her. FH's brother took us & doggies to an island on a beautiful lake and we had a really nice time. Water skiiing and jet skis are not allowed so it was very quiet. No bugs either. The nuclear plant musta killed them off.

This is what I am learning..... People who are in your life for whatever reason often serve the purpose of mirroring for you those things in yourself which you dislike and have rejected. So as I feel my irritation with some of the behaviors, I pay attention to those behaviors as I consider this aspect. Rather humbling I must say. Especially for the :crowned:

Jen, glad to see you holding tight! (I have to mop and mow too -ugh) bear and cuckoo, bummer choice you made; good to see you working on what will be different next time. About AL in the house now.... as a former smoker, I remember the vow to quit followed at some point by searching in the dark with a flashlight around the seats and under the floormats of the car for a cig. Having the addictive substance at a convenient distance is just not a good idea. That is all.

Scottish lass good to see you here!

Det, congrats on your certification! Now you can go shoot in the snow/rain/hail? Seriously, I forgot exactly what it was for.

Lav, so how did you feel about YB showing up uninvited (regardless of the beer)?

M3, when does your daughter go camping? I agree with Lav, a great experience all around!

DG, how'd your visit with your dad go? I looked at my swim cap and it's a baraccuda. I think I used to wear their goggles. Marshy what brand do you like?
I too would like to be Kaslo's uninvited guest We can take turns going on the trips and tending the garden at her house.

P3 bummer about your willow fencing. I felt like that when my wood pile fell over. :boohoo: Glad the paphut is still with you.

I guess LVT is up an at day 2 of the tourist extravaganza! Hope she packed epsom salts for her poor legs. :H

Kas, have a good trip & remember us waiting for your recap and photos!

Where's Uni? Do you leave tomorrow?

Threedognight, if you're lurking, go ahead & post why don't you? As you can see, you are not alone in making the unfortunate choice.

One last thing. A dear friend will sudden unexpected surgery (Wed AM) for some cancerous spots on her lung. Prayers and pings would be most appreciated.
Do have a tantalizing tuesday, won't you? sans alcool...

[Lavande]

tuesday 31 May af

Good humid morning Abbers!

Ugh, warm & muggy ~ frizzy hair weather!

bear, keep your thinking just like it is today & you'll do fine

jenny, good luck with your class!

Greetings papmom - no rain here, just continued heat & humidity - yuck!

Greenie, glad your visitors were decent.
How did I feel about YB's appearance yesterday? Well, it didn't bother me as he was behaving decently & I know full well he is beginning to miss his family life. One odd thing he did though was to go off into a corner & eat alone. It was kind weird - I just let it go

Work awaits -
wishing everyone a good AF Tuesday!

Lav

[momof3]

tuesday 31 May af

jennyneric;1123375 wrote: Good Morning Bear, P3,

Bear. . .I have that mod voice also at 30, 60, 90. The voice that says " hey your cured! you will be fine, have a drink or two you'll see! we can do this now!" That is just the beast in a different form. He's lying, you won't be fine but he will be! DG had it at 60 days. Greenie had it at a year and so did P3 a little bit. It's pretty common so don't worry. !

Good Morner Fabber Abbers,

Going to be another hot one hear today. My older daughter is home with a sore throat. It really throws me off. When the weekend is over, I want them back in school so I can get back to work. Oh well, it's a preview of the Summer.

Jenny, I highlighted your quote above because I would like to say that ALL of us have those thoughts of modding and they are quite strong early on. You are so correct in saying that it is indeed the beast that is talking. My last relapse before I finally got it was at about 45 days days after I quit. It scared me so much that I quit the very next day. Prior to that, I stopped drinking for 7 months and then relapsed for almost 2 years. I am so happy that you are going back to school. It is really the beginning of a new chapter for you isn't it?

Greenie, My girl doesn't go to camp until the end of Jully. Don't know what the heck I'm going to do with her until then. She doesn't like to go out of the house much and she has no friends. I am happy that you had a nice time with you BIL and SIL. I admire your insightfulness and willingness to look at yourself!

I just wrote a story about my daughter that I'm going to read at an upcoming presentation. My best friend cried when I read it to her. I have thought about sharing it here too. But maybe it's TMI (too much information) even though many of you know more about the more painful aspects of my life than most.

Bear, Onward with Day 2. What changes are you going to make in your plan? What role does your OH play in all of this? This nosy gal would like to know more about OH if you are willing to share. Stay strong you BAD ASS ROLLERDERBY GIRL.

Lav, you sound much more detached and accepting of YB. I can tell that you feel sad for him but know that it is he who has to change.

Hugs to all,
M3

[jennyneric]

tuesday 31 May af

greeneyes;1123382 wrote:

This is what I am learning..... People who are in your life for whatever reason often serve the purpose of mirroring for you those things in yourself which you dislike and have rejected. So as I feel my irritation with some of the behaviors, I pay attention to those behaviors as I consider this aspect. Rather humbling I must say. Especially for the :crowned:

About AL in the house now.... as a former smoker, I remember the vow to quit followed at some point by searching in the dark with a flashlight around the seats and under the floormats of the car for a cig.

Do have a tantalizing tuesday, won't you? sans alcool...

Lavande;1123400 wrote: Good humid morning Abbers!

Well, it didn't bother me as he was behaving decently & I know full well he is beginning to miss his family life. One odd thing he did though was to go off into a corner & eat alone. It was kind weird - I just let it go

momof3;1123409 wrote: Good Morner Fabber Abbers,

I am so happy that you are going back to school. It is really the beginning of a new chapter for you isn't it?


I just wrote a story about my daughter that I'm going to read at an upcoming presentation. My best friend cried when I read it to her. I have thought about sharing it here too. But maybe it's TMI (too much information) even though many of you know more about the more painful aspects of my life than most.

Check out the multi quotes! Go Me!

Greenie, that is so true and I will use it to look at myself in the future!

Lav, maybe he just needs to work his was back in slowly, maybe he was feeling uncomfortable right then and wanted to regroup

M3, I think it is a new chapter for me. I really think I get it this time and am moving on to a bigger and brighter future for myself. I think I learned that I can think about myself and it's ok. We (ok I would I can't speak for anyone else)would love to hear your story about your daughter. I'm sure it's not TMI you know quite a bit about me so if your willing to share I'm willing to listen!

Thank you all for being so wise and just there!

It's gonna be a great day!:l

[Nelz]

tuesday 31 May af

Alcohol is poison I LOVE that line, that makes it easier to keep it away from my lips

[bear73]

tuesday 31 May af

hey all just flying in back after gym and shopping trip (got a bit over excited on cruelty free perfume front - oops!)

Mof 3 - I'm nosy too!!OH is a lovely man, very supportive and he has cut down on drinking himself and is happy if I don't drink, so long as I am happy really. the drinks were unplanned - people just turned up with booze - I have booze in house and it really doesn't bother me at all - apart from white wine.I feel lucky on that score - he doesn't hassle me to drink/pressure me to as he knows how rubbish I feel afterwards.

must dash - need to cook dinner,shower,see counsellor and off to visit friend.

[Marshy]

tuesday 31 May af

greeneyes;1123382 wrote:

I looked at my swim cap and it's a baraccuda. I think I used to wear their goggles. Marshy what brand do you like?

I don't use goggles or a hat. Freewheelin' Marshy I don't like feeling encumbered by anything. I'd swim nekkid if they'd let me :H When me & GF go to Greece in July there's a nekkid beach near our hotel so I should get my wish then
GF has two pairs of goggles, one of which steams up when you swim, the others don't and are good but I suppose you can't tell if they're going to steam up until you use them which is a bit annoying.

I've been for a hot stones massage today which was fantastic - came out all floaty.

Greenie - pings to your friend. Cancer is a horrible disease. My mum is waiting to hear about a schedule for her brain radiation. Hopefully it will be next week. She has to get a mask moulded first that will protect her face during the treatment.

Lav - YB eating by himself in a corner is weird Still, it's good that he's finally realising what he's missing!

Kaslo - I was toying with the idea of going on a kayaking trip down the Kootenay river a couple of years ago but when I checked out how to get there from here... BIG HASSLE! It looks gorgeous.

Jenny - good for you for studying! It's great to find new interests to help with staying AF.

Hello to Bear, Nelz, Mom3 and papmom. Have a good day all!

[greeneyes]

tuesday 31 May af

Marshy;1123531 wrote: I suppose you can't tell if they're going to steam up until you use them which is a bit annoying.

She has to get a mask moulded first that will protect her face during the treatment.

Lav - YB eating by himself in a corner is weird

The have anti-fog ones. And anti-fog drops.

You mom's ordeal must be a frightening experience for all invloved. :l

Yeah...along with lots of his behavior in the past year+.

[Lavande]

tuesday 31 May af

Greenie,
The new kids who moved in across the road a few weeks ago just invited me to a BBQ on Saturday. They know I have kids & grandkids because they have met some of them. They said to bring the family along. They don't know anything about YB so I won't be bringing him :H

I just signed up for an account with Square Up. They send you a little device that attaches to your smart phone so that you can process credit card payments when you're out on the road (craft shows, etc). No monthly fees, just pay per use
My daughter has some ideas for combining jewlery making, beading, etc with small embroidered lace pieces - I hope we can figure it out!

Still very hot & humid & buggy outside - yuck!

[greeneyes]

tuesday 31 May af

Lav, by the way, how's piggy swissy?

[scottish lass]

tuesday 31 May af

Day 3 today - tough day, lots of cravings and feeling down today, but i know this too will pass!
quick check in, when i don't post I drink, not chatty today, but staying on track...

[Lavande]

tuesday 31 May af

scottish lass - post as much as you need to, OK?
Congrats on your 3 AF days. I know it's hard now but it will get better soon

Greenie, Maxie is OK but she has deleloped a raspy cough (likely due to swallowing a lot of blood Friday afternoon). She's on an antibiotic so I'm not worried. She is my security system so I have to keep her in good shape Thanks for asking!