Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

[retteacher]

I didn't get on line yesterday, as I had a very nice potluck party w/some of our AA friends. We had a great meal & then played a game. We all marveled at the wonderful time that can be enjoyed sober. There's no need for alcohol in order to have fun. In fact, after we ate, we played a thinking game. There would have been no game had we all been drinking. Afterwards, everyone helped clean up (remember having to go to bed inebriated w/the house totaled?), & we all went to the big speaker meeting in town.

I'm continuing to think about acceptance. There's a story at the end of the big book (in the page 400's about a doctor) which has the acceptance passage in it. Last night before we went to sleep, I read it aloud & talked about it w/my husband. There's so much in everyone's life that needs acceptance. No one has a perfect life!

I'm working on my 3rd step. I read all the 3rd step entries in my Daily Reflections & my 24 Hours. Of course, turning it over is all about acceptance. So, I guess that's my lesson for a while.

I can see why the old-timers stress the importance of working the steps formally w/a sponsor. It really does prevent us from getting complacent & letting them go.

I hope all is well.

mary

[Newgrange]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

I hope your daughter is ok Mary.

Acceptance is difficult. I am working on it too. I have to be aware of my thinking.

Have a good week everyone.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

Hi fellow travelers and Mary, thanks for kicking us off for the week. What sort of thinking game did you play? Sounds like fun. I know what you mean about games like that and drinking. I just couldn't play at all! I love that passage on acceptance. Acceptance (lack of it) really is at the root of so many of my problems.

Hi Newgrange and all yet to come check in this week.

Yesterdays meeting was very powerful for me. We talked about the first drink. That's like the fork in the road. If I take the first drink, I know where that road goes just as sure as I'm sitting here. The only way for me to stay on the good path is not to take it.

One woman shared something very moving. She spoke of "Drinking on the Lie." I really didn't know what she meant at first. But she described exactly how it used to go for me. How I often justified my first drink. Then the game was on.

She said she would call her friend and say "let's go grab a quick beer before we pick the kids up from school." (How many times did I say stuff like "let's stop and have ONE on the way home from work.") THAT WAS A COMPLETE LIE. She never stopped at one, and never really intended too. Neither did I. She went on to describe the subsequent events and consequences with tears in her eyes. (leaving her kids stranded, not knowing how they got home, etc.) I thought about my own consequences after repeatedly "drinking on the lie."

She said, "If I drank on the truth, I would have called my friend and said SCREW our children. Let's go get drunk and blow off our responsibilities. Let's let our kids find their own way home. And feed themselves and put themselves to bed. Let's just go get drunk."

This made me really contemplate the level at which I am capable of BSing myself. It is really easy for me to slip into that mode of doing things on a lie rather than doing them on the truth.

This was good food for thought for me. Rigorous honesty is not as simple as it sounds - especially in my mind.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

DG: What food for thought! One of the things I used to say to my husband: "Let's have a cocktail hour before dinner." Then he'd have one, & I'd have the rest of the big bottle & maybe open another. I would serve dinner in order to cover my tracks, but then I'd have to crawl into bed early & pass out.

On Monday, there was a great speaker who told my story. She was a functional alcoholic who didn't admit to her addiction for many years. She was a closet drinker like me. We talked after the meeting, & I told her how "good" I got at hiding my drinking from my husband. She laughed & said that she was so good that right before she got sober, her partner had gotten her a subscription to a wine connesuer (sp?) magazine. She received that magazine well into her first year of sobriety. Of course, our husbands/partners have their own denial. My husband still shakes his head at how oblivious he was.

The game is pictionary. We play it in teams. I have an easel & pad, & we draw the names of books, movies, & songs while our teammates try to guess what we're drawing. You need all your faculties for drawing & guessing. It's fun for sober people. Drunks wouldn't have a chance.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

Good words y'all. Man oh man, I did a lot of "drinking on the lie". We read the preamble every morning at our meeting. Those are powerful words "rigorous honesty".

I'm driving about 110 miles a day this week due to work. A little over 2 years ago I would have a six pack on the trip home. Thanks to AA, a higher power and you guys that I don't have to live like that now.

[daisy45]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

Doggygirl, I am so glad I checked in tonight. Needed a bit of a 'kick in the arse!' 16 days today and that old drinking thinking was creeping in again.
Thank you for sharing that - 'drinking on a lie' was me every time! Newly inspired for tomorrow!!!!:thanks:

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

Daisy: "Drinking Thinking" is so powerful. The thought would just lodge there in my head until I did something about it...call someone, go to a meeting, come to MWO, read something, etc. I'm finding that the urges & cravings have left me. However, that's only if I continue to work on myself. I will not go back there. Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

Hi everyone,This is always a powerful thread for me, so thank you all for posting.

For me i shared the other day before i moved into acceptance from denial i had to go through anger first and then sadness and acceptance, this only happen to me only when i started working my program and it took me a long time to move to each stage, to feel each one i had to go through some kind of pain...
Today i just come from a step10 meeting very powerful stuff. CONTINUED TO TAKE PERSONAL INVENTORY AND WHEN WE WERE WRONG PROMPTLY ADMITTED IT.... It funny when i started to share i shared about the drilling going on outside this is happening every week now and i said am getting resentment on the guy that is drilling, am sure his doing it on purposes and on the same day as our meeting but this guy has got a job to do, like everyone else. The drilling reminded me of the dentist guy, that i had another resentment on. He said it would only take 10minutes to take my tooth out and it took 45minutes funny how one resentment can lead to another.....:H
But i have to be careful not to let my feelings go on auto pilot because once i start not feeling my feelings that when my watered down defects starts to get strong and will float to the top of the water, and before i know it my resentment has build up to 3days how did that happen, the next stage is Fu*k it i show you i will drink on this now. (This is when i have to ring my sponsor up and talk about what has happen and past it over.) So i have to be aware of this and where did i play my part and say sorry straight away without using the word but or because...
Daisy...That drinking thinking like mary said is so powerful cunning and buffling it always gets you by surprize,( bit like being on auto pilot) I was eating my dinner the other day and got something stuck in my throast drank lots of water to see if i could wash it down but it did not work then all of a sudden i saw my other half skol super on the table all on it own like it was waiting for me to pick it up, for a split few seconds, eye to eye contact i thought that if i drink this it will do the job it will wash what ever is stuck in my throst....IF i was not working this program or going to meetings i know i would of picked it up.
Have a lovely peaceful weekend all and keep safe.x




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[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

I feel that the 10th step is like keeping our house in order. I get to clear everything out every day. I really feel that unfinished business was one of the main reasons I drank. Often I felt angry, resentful, guilty, etc. & didn't talk about it to anyone. Then, my payoff was a drink, because I felt so bad. Now I get to discuss what's bothering me (through the 10th step). M

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

Hi all. I love today's Hazelden reading.

Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been."
--John Greenleaf Whittier

Unless we live in the now, we are in danger of suffering the agony of regret. We can't spend all our time thinking "life's not fair." We cannot afford to excuse everything with "what ifs?" We used those words constantly during the years we wasted on obeying compulsions we knew could destroy us.

We remember the years before recovery and accept them as object lessons of what it could be like again if we become careless or complacent. But we don't regret them. Regret only leads to depression and perhaps a return to active addiction.

We must stop dwelling on the impossibility of undoing the wrongs of yesterday. Instead, we must begin enjoying the "right things" that are now possible in recovery.

It is impossible to relive my past. I can only create a good past now by living this day the best way I can, so that tomorrow I can look back without having to say "It might have been."

The issue of remorse over past events comes up a lot on this forum. I love the reminder that the ONLY way forward is to live today. Hope you all have a wonderful time living in today today!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

DG: I just read that reading right before I came here. I try not to regret the past, but sometimes I just cringe at some of the stuff I've done. The other night we had guilt as a discussion topic, & there was much that people felt guilt about. I think the antidote to guilt is gratitude & committment to AA. Yes, all we can do is move forward. For me, regret is fading, as I continue to do the next right thing for the next right reason. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

We are creating a better history for ourselves with each day we keeping doing the next right thing.

My program has lacked focus lately. An opportunity came up to volunteer to chair a weekly meeting, so I put in my name. I know my initial resistance was just laziness. It's nice to go to a meeting if I feel like it, and skip it if I don't. That doesn't make me a good carrier of the message however. So...this way I will be there every time, and taking time to prepare will get me to work on my program again.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 31 - June 5

DG: I too can be complacent about service expecting others to do the heavy lifting. I try to make sure I do something on a weekly basis...even if it's just bringing a batch of cookies to the meeting. There's so much that can be done, & I cannot count on others like I did in the beginning. I'm not a newcomer any more, so I must step up. I'm also finding that having a sponsor & going through the steps formally keeps me on track. When I start letting my life intrude on my program, I say: "Oh yes, I have to do some work on step 3." It's a good discipline. I keep remembering the saying: "We must walk the walk, not just talk the talk." It's a daily effort. Mary
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