Joyful June - week 1

[Chillgirl]

Joyful June - week 1

Evening guys

Dewdrop - wasn't our weather just perfect today! Sadly it's not to last so I made the best of it and was out every waking minute.

Star - glad you checked in, I worry when you dont :l I hope it went well today, how nice of your step mum to be that thoughtful.

I had a nice dinner date tonight with a guy i met a few weeks ago, he is funny, charming and good company and he trying very hard to win my affections. However having been swept off my feet by the crazy Doc, it's hard for anyone else to compare. I have now started working for the Doc as his dog walker although I haven't actually seen him for over a week. I have keys for the house and this week he has been on call most days. I'm falling in love with Charlie the irish setter and today we galloped on the beach. Tonight Doc called and poured his heart out to me about his pending divorce. He is devastated and heart broken about it and I now see why he is not ready for another relationship. I am totally happy to remain as just friends and hope I can be of some support to him.

After the reclusive life I had in Portugal I'm loving all this new interaction and socializing and as I approach 18 months AF next month I really feel so confident in my sobriety. Any sooner would have been too difficult but now I'm so proud to be ordering my soda water with dinner and would never swap a single minute of this fantastic new life. I remind myself that tomorrow will be Saturday, the day I used to feel the most trashed in the week, only I will be waking up hangover free and very grateful.

[Cassia]

Joyful June - week 1

Hi all
Big congrats to Jolie on 5 months sober! It's a great feeling to be racking up the months!!! :goodjob:

Star - I hope today went as well as can be expected. No doubt your dad appreciates having you there and what a nice thought to pass some of your mom's things to your daughter. I dont have much of my moms things but I cherish what I do have.

Rusty - welcome back and I am well chugged that you had such a good time at the conference. I bet seeing those pictures made you grateful for how much you have achieved over the last year. Well done!!!

Lav - are you in total prep mode for your eb visit? I hope you have a smashing time! Looks like the weather is meant to be crap on sunday! My mate has a wedding in doylestown on Sunday and it's outdoors!!!:upset:

Dew - awesome news about the appraisal and how thoughtful of your son to take you out for dinner! I hear it was a right scorcher in the UK! At least you made the best of the weather.

Chill - I can't even imagine how hard it must be for the docto go thru a divorce. A few of my friends are divorced and it is a horrible experience. Good on ya to provide support and compassion. Btw, if you aren't getting a response from jobs just chase them. Unless they say that only successful applicants will be contacted, it is terribly rude to not reply.

P3 - have a great week off! Sounds like u will be busy! What type of part time work are u looking for?

So I am in bed sick! Crap! I hate being sick! All the running about has finally caught up with me. I got tickets for great adventure! (awesome theme park in nj) and I can't wait to go!!! Going to look at cars tomorrow so I can get to said theme park! Then brunch in the city. I also spoke to my hubby and told him I want to go to colonial williamsburg when he gets here. I am so excited to explore this amazing land!

Speak soon. Love u all

Xx

[Lavande]

Joyful June - week 1

It's almost 11 pm but just wanted to check in - I survived day 1 with EB.
He fell asleep sitting straight up on the sofa because he wasn't tired or ready to go to bed :H

Papmom, enjoy your time off with the paphut

Dewdrop, so nice of your son to surprise you like that!!!

Cassia, hope you feel better very soon. You'll love Williamsburg, great place to visit.

Hello & goodnight to everyone! Needs to catch some sleep before day 2 begins

Lav

[Chillgirl]

Joyful June - week 1

Good Morning Gang

Just back from a long walk along the coast with Elle and enjoying my toast and coffee...

Rusty - I hope you are home and having a relaxing weekend. Your story about your ex is so so tragic, being on the other side now its hard to believe people cant see their way out but AL blinds you to reality and feeds you evil logic.

I have recently found out from my Mum that her cousins son, who I only met once as a child, is a chronic alcoholic aged 42, never leaves his room apart from to buy booze, he doesnt wash and is more or less a down and out. His elderly mother was recently taken into hospital and the police had to remove him from her house as he is a health hazard, leaving burning cigarette and passing out. They put him in a shelter and last week he was arrested for stealing wine from a shop. Although I dont know this man, I feel akin to him as a relative and would love to contact him to see if I could help but it also scares me as i think Id be completely out my depth with his level of alcoholism.

Sometimes I get so angry at our society for allowing AL to be such an acceptable mainstream drug. Dewdrop, you have probably been aware of the recent controversy surrounding a documentary series "the scheme" which is only 15 mins from where I live. It highlights the epidemic levels of AL & drug misuse is deprived areas. Its all so very very sad.....

Sorry guys... on a lighter note I hope we are all having a good weekend, Papmom in her papmobile and Lav running after her EB. Cass, I hope you are feeling better today. Im meeting my Mum and Sister for an afternoon of chatting, coffee and shopping.....

[Stargazerlily]

Joyful June - week 1

Whew, what a day yesterday. It was sooooo emotional. Why are things so filled with memories and so symbolic of who the person is? was? Anyway, I have to unfortunately say that I coped with three drinks....and I am not really happy about it. So, I have learned that it DID NOT help and in fact I feel more depressed today. I am totally committed to AF, and do not know why I thought that would help. There is no point in not being honest through, and I want everyone to know I am filled with regrets. I also value everything I have been through this year, and realize that living AF is the true way for me to continue.

Chill, your tale about the relative is frightening. So upsetting to hear about. Have fun with you mom and sister today.

Rusty, so glad to hear that you are looking so much better than last year. And your story about the fellow worker is tragic, too. There but for the grace of God go all of us.

Cassia, sorry to hear you are sick. Get better soon.

Papmom, how great to have a staycation. I wouldn't mind one, but that is not going to happen for me in the near future.

I have decided I do not want anymore of my Mom's stuff.....she gave me plenty when she was in the process of dying. It is just too much for me, and there is no reason for me to put myself through that anymore. She was my best friend and I am so glad I moved after she died. It was just too much, overwhelming even through it is almost seven years.

To all, have a productive AF day.

[Kaslo]

Joyful June - week 1

:new:

I thought I might post here, and say hello to all of you, you seem like such nice people, from all over and wish you all a lovely June. Some of you (Lav, Stargazer, P3) know me from the daily abstinence thread, I started posting about amonth and a half ago (?). I am just after 4.5 months AF.

Star, just read your post, and I know you are a long term AF person right? I am terrified of falling off the wagon and sinking into the mud again. Sometimes i tell myself it would be just a short hop. I am so admiring of the fact you can discuss it here, and I guess that is why I am here. I need help from people who understand this.

So for those of you who doent know me, it took me years of cutting down, trying to quit. My very worst time was ten years ago. I am 57 and married to a nice guy, with two grown kids, one who works for me and the other is raising two little gks on her own. My DH is kind of clueless about my AL problem, I was a closet dweller in that regard. I am a mad gardner and photographer in my spare time, and I run a small company, with from 2 to 5 subconsultants working for me. I am a biologist and toxicologist specializing in severe damage to vegetation and soils. I have to travel a huge amount for my job. Its interesting and lucrative but it runs my life sometimes. Chill, my mother was from Edinburgh, and so I grew up with a Scots influence. Such as it was. She was an alcoholic...ANYWAY. Greetings from Midloathian West, in the sunny climes of southern Kootenay mountains. Its great out there, and I wanna be in it. I am trying to get my garden ready for the Annual Garden Tour, in my little town of 7 thousand souls. Here is a pix of my fav tulip from this year. Hope y'all have a lovely day. And a great month. June is so beautiful, really. Hope this is not too big a file...I keep posting and reposting as I am trying to resize the photo, so it doesnt take over our LIVES. Ha ha. My apologies if its too big.

[Guitarista]

Joyful June - week 1

Hi folk's, and hello Kaslo,

All good here. Wishing everyone a safe, sober, and magical June.

L8tr, Yo!

[rustop61]

Joyful June - week 1

Hi everyone

A very rushed post from me. We have had the most amazing weather the past few days. My younger daughters shows have started again so I spent most of yesterday and today at a show and getting him ready. She did not get placed, he spooked at the water jump and there was huge competition in the showing. They were there from the UK and Northern Ireland etc. but such is life. It's a nice way to spend these beautiful days.

Star - so sorry the stress got to you. However, you posted and got right back on the wagon. It's a slip not a relapse. Are you still taking the vitamins, I find them a great help for the cravings.

Cassia - Hope you are soon feeling better.

Chill - Lovely way to spend the morning and it is nice to make new friends. Sad about your cousin, there but for the grace of God go a lot of us. The alcohol gene seems to be in a lot of families.

Jolie - Congratulations on 5 months, you should be so proud of yourself.

Papmom - Hope you are enjoyin the paphut.

Lav - Hope you are managing with EB, you will need a rest after this.

Kaslo - Welcome, this is a great thread with wonderful people on it. No judgements, just constant support. Love your photos by the way.

Rusty, Sooty, John, Dew and everyone else big hello and enjoy the rest of the week-end.

Rustop

[Lavande]

Joyful June - week 1

Good afternoon Junesters -

I have approx. 60 seconds to say hello to everyone
Busy, busy, busy here but good!

Star, I am sorry to hear of your trouble yesteray. We all know ahead of time that drinking resolves nothing but I think until we truly remove drinking as an option from our psyches we will continue to repeat the pattern. God knows I certainly did a hundred times or so before I made the commitment.

Hi G - where have you been?

Rustop, glad you've enjoyed some nice weather. The past two days have been picture perfect weatherwise here & now it's clouding upi for rain thru Monday night.

Kaslo, so nice to see you & your beautiful photography here on this thread

Chill, I feel bad for anyone in such a down & out condition. It sounds like your relation needs some serious rehab/psych work to pull him thru. There's always hope:l

Well, need to get ready to attend my new neighbor's house warming party. Yes, EB is going with me. He's excited since he helped me bake some chocolate chip cookies to take along

Have a good afternoon all!
Lav

[ladybirdheart]

Joyful June - week 1

I am so sorry Star for all that you are going through. As you know I understand from my own experience that one can have all the tools, intentions, and months of success only to turn to alcohol, however briefly, again. I don?t want to go there ever again but I also have realized there doesn?t have to be any drama or lasting setback, just learning the hard way. I realize now I just can?t be in certain situations no matter how much I prepare. Fortunately they are rare, it would be awful if they were to crop up around every corner and I was confined to a closet. While I can?t talk about the nature of my personal circumstances in a public forum, avoiding those places I can?t negotiate at least for long without alcohol is the best I can do. Entering the territory of unresolved grief is something I too will avoid as by history I can not as yet just take alcohol out of the equation, and the best I can do is strengthen myself in the life I have built outside of this. It is a good life as is yours. You are a warrior to me as you know. Your eye is on the prize. You get all steely eyed about sobriety and are relentless and I love it. Tomorrow we can talk about all the thought provoking things that arise in your smart, always interesting brain. Love, Ladybird.

[Kaslo]

Joyful June - week 1

Ha ha, Lav, I finally caught your avatar at it. For weeks now I kept thinking I could see it move but thought it must be my AL brain playing tricks on me! VERY CUTE!

Kaz

[Chillgirl]

Joyful June - week 1

Good Morning guys

Star - I want to hug and scold you at the same time, I'm so so sorry you experienced these difficult emotions. Looking back on it today, can you see a way to have changed the outcome? I only ask to perhaps avoid it in the future. Life is so damn hard at times and I have taken to viewing it as what is necessary for us to learn. When things go on that I find over whelmingly difficult, I say to myself, ok this isn't pleasant but how can I best deal with it without breaking down in a heap and giving up which is very tempting at times.... I'm sending you buckets of love which luckily I have in abundance at the moment :l

LBH - your comment on unresolved grief stuck with me, in the past I tried so very hard to get over grief, I bought books on the subject to try to find peace with it but nothing helped. Now I realize that we never get over these deep losses, they are always a part of us. What we do is learn to find space for them, to live with the pain and accept that it is all part of what loving others brings. Our scars, both internal and external are beautiful, they are not ugly marks, but are reminders of what we have endured and survived.

:welcome: Kaslo and thank you for the introduction. I LOVED your photo, stunning! Can I ask you what camera you use, I have been toying with buying the Canon 550 as I'm interested in getting into photography.

Lav - EB stories awaited to make us smile...

[Stargazerlily]

Joyful June - week 1

Good morning all....

Thanks all for the supportive feedback. I let it happen and will make sure in the future, as much as possible, not to immerse myself in and relive the grief I experienced on Friday. LBH, I found your observations very helpful and will do the best I can to avoid situations that are so darn painful. I am not going to beat myself up about it as that will not be productive and I am not in some contest except with my self: to be the best I can be, AF. I am so grateful for the time in 2011 that has again given me months of being AF, I know how to live in this manner, and realize it is who I really am. Wanting health and wholeness in my life, alcohol has no part. The grief I continue to feel for my mother, and the horrible way she died, is something I will always carry with me. It is so much better, seven years later, but it is still fresh when I go to her home and look at pictures. I realize all I lost, my family lost. And there are other things going on with my family since she died that I cannot heal. Too overwhelming, so again, it is best that I do not go there.

Today is a lovely, cooler, soft summer day. I plan on some work and some play. There is something so special about June, the beginning of summer. I am focusing on gratitude, from the weather, the loved ones in my life, to my health. To all, have a great AF day.

[papmom3]

Joyful June - week 1

((((star)))). I can't even imagine what pain you are experiencing right now. Would counseling help at this point? Could it hurt? I have been thinking alot lately of how I will deal with my dad passing when it happens. He is in no mortal danger right now even at 84 he is really healthy and what problems he has are under control. But with the passing of my neighbor's dad it just brings it closer to home. I know that my first instinct when I'm alone will be to buy a bottle or 2 and bury my pain in booze. he is my best friend and I am closer and have always been closer to him than I ever was my mom. My mom and I never had that special mom/daughter relationship like my sis had with her. I've always been daddy's girl. I know, as you did star, that AL won't bring him back, won't help matters and may make things worse but I also know that for a few hours (or days) I will want to be numb, numb, numb. This may be something I will talk to my counselor about tomorrow nite so that I can start to figure out how to handle the pain when it comes, without the booze.

Chill-your insight into clearing a space for the pain and letting it live quietly inside of us was very interesting. Hmmmmm.

LBH-so good to hear from you! your writing as always is beautiful even when dealing with a painful topic. What is new with you?

[rustop61]

Joyful June - week 1

Hi everyone

Big hugs, Star, so good to see you back. I get so much out of this thread. LBH's comments, beautifully written as usual struck a chord with me as did Chills comment about clearing a place for the pain and letting it live quietly inside us. We all used Al in the past to help us cope. Papmom, good for you dealing with what is to come. It wont make the pain any less when the time comes but you will have your coping mechanisms in place and not jump into a bottle.

Having a nice quite Sunday. Went to mass and read the Sunday papers. It is nice to have some quite time. Hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday.

Rustop