Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I was able to make all 3 weekend meetings this week. It felt good to do that. I can see why people taper off meetings. Sometimes I feel: "Why bother...I don't feel tempted." However, after listening to story after story of relapse, I can see what that leads to. So, if I can go to a meeting, I do just that. What would I have missed? An hour of channel surfing or of puttering around the house. I can do that any time.

I'm working my 3rd step right now. I think for the formal part of it, I'm going to try & make a list of all the people & situations that I have to turn over to my HP. I'll try to make the list as comprehensive as possible. There's a lot that I would like to control that I really have no control over at all...e.g. other peoples' moods & behavior. Right now I'm in the reading part of working the step. After I read everything I can about step 3, I'll do that writing assignment I mentioned above.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Hi Friends, I've been away for a while but recently noticed a charge on my bank statement that I did not recognize. I found out it was from the subscription portion of this site and have been charged since decided to try it in Aug '08. I realized right away that it was not for me and cancelled but for some reason have been charged for 3 years without knowing about it. MYO is refusing to give me a refund and I don't think I should let this go. This is what I sent to them. Please let me know what you think.

>
> >
> > Dear Missy,
> > As I mentioned below, I called CCbill yesterday when I noticed the charge
> > on my statement and that is when I realized I had been charged for
> > something I cancelled in 2008. I told them to cancel it and they said I
> > would still have my subscription through July so I went to the site just
> > to see and I did not have access. I knew I cancelled the month I ordered
> > it. Obviously you are aware of this since your records indicate I was
> > only a subscriber for only the initial 3 months. Your records probably
> > also indicate all the $ I spent at your store trying to get better. Not
> > to mention the $ I spent on Topamax (a medication your site endorsed) and
> > the horrible side effects I had or the $$$$ I spent flying across country
> > to see a "healer" that many on your site insisted had cured them.
> > To tell you the truth, I believe MWO is giving many false hope!
> > Alcoholism is a disease. Very few "problem drinkers" can moderate. Now
> > that I think about it...what a racket your company has going! Preying on
> > unfortunate victims who don't understand their disease.
> > When I walked into AA in Jan '09, I knew I couldn't drink like a normal
> > person. I had tried everything, so I was grateful for having been through
> > all the "trying to moderate" without success because it made me realize I
> > had to quit. Unfortunate that I spent so much $ on that path when the
> > doors of AA are always open and FREE.
> > I expect a full refund from the day I cancelled. I have a wonderful lawyer
> > who happens to be in AA who would be all over this if I told him.
> > Missy, please don't take this personally...I'm sure your are just the
> > messenger

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Okey: I think you have to do what you think is best for you. If you think that letter will work for you, then go for it.

As far as moderation: I know it wouldn't work for me, because I tried it for years & years. However, that doesn't mean that everone w/a drinking problem has to abstain. Whatever works. I don't think that AA is the answer for everyone either. My brother & son stopped drinking completely on their own. I really try to avoid black & white thinking whenever possible. The world is full of possiblities, & AA is only one of them.

For me, resentment in any form is my #1 enemy. That doesn't mean you can't go after what you want or seek justice in this case. It just means that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to get emotionally caught up in this whole thing.

I joined MWO in 2007. I didn't subscribe or take any of the supps. I knew in my heart that I needed a lifestyle change, & there was no magic bullett for my problem.

Take care...I hope this is resolved quickly & to your satisfaction.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Hi Mary, Okey, and all to come. Mary, thanks for starting things off this week. I know what you mean about feeling complacent. I've been on red alert as I have been attending less meetings, etc. HP does for me what I cannot do for myself sometimes. HP sent me some revitalization in the form of a possible new sponsee. :H That will motivate me to keep it fresh, whether it ends up being shorter or longer in duration.

I'm heading out early Friday morning with 2 gal pals for Founder's Day in Akron. Is anyone from here going by chance? If so, would love to hook up!! It should be a very fun getaway. Mean time, I've been busy as a beaver so not around here as much as usual. All is well though - just busy!

Okey, I can understand feeling frustrated with the situation. I think Mary's words were wise - do what you feel you must while being wary of resentment. How are you otherwise?

Hope all the other AA friends around here are doing fabulous.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

DG: Have a wonderful time in Akron. My husband & I went up to VT last summer to Bill W's house. I wonder if you get to see some of the early AA stuff that is there in Akron: Dr. Bob's home/grave? If so, it's quite a feeling. Drive safely. Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Hi Everyone...
Oky...mary said it so well for me, hope it all get sorted out for you soon.x
Mary...It always helps me to listen to people's story after relapese.
DG ...wish i could be there with you, have a lovely time...
I was just reading last weeks AA thread and the post you posted DG is very powerful.

About the past, sometimes i find it hard but i have come to accept my past and i have moved on, but i find it harder to accept the effect i had on my own kids while i was drinking. I know my drinking has effected my daughter i was going to open a thread about it, but am a bit of a coward..... At last my daughter had her appointment with the paediatric therapy team to do with her back pain that she gets 24 seven in pain. At the end of the meeting i felt a bit put out, the nurse ask my daughter if she needs the talk to someone about her pain and how she is feeling inside her.( she did open a bit and talked about how she feels and about her school) My daughter said yes and the lady said that the mental health team do groups session with people that are going through the something or kind of pain everyday and it would help her to talk about it and that she pointed out that she is not going mental. I had to change her school because of the travelling but also she hates the school she is at and all i want for her is to be happy. If i was drinking all i would of cared about would of been my drinking and me sad to say. AT least today i can be there for her when she needs me. I know it will help her to talk to someone, i feel like am looking in a mirror when i look at my daughter, i just dont want history to repeat itself....
Thanks for reading,,,, today i will not drinking, just for today.x Take care all x:hx

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Catch: You probably know the line in the promises: "We won't regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." I honestly can't say I'm there yet. There are many things that were so embarrassing that I do regret them. All I can say about your daughter is that she has her own HP who is guiding her life. My kids have their HP's too. I did the best I could. Now I go forward in our relationships. That's all we can do. Mary

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Hi everyone. I am a long-time member but, haven't been here in a long long time. I now attend AA and currently have 7 weeks sobriety. Hope I can join your little group as I recognize most of you.

Oky, I remember you as well and your trip to Vermont. I am a long timer here. I am sorry to hear that your experience here has been seen as so negative. It definately is a journey for all of us with many ups and downs and rarely ever any straight lines. I echo what others have said in that I hope this does not turn into a resentment as they are never healthy.

Look forward to getting to know you all...again

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Greetings all. DG, wish I could be at Founder's Day with you and get another hug. But I'm off for nine days in Orlando working a trade show. I will have to get to a meeting somehow. The past two weeks I have been to my home group everyday. Now I'm spoiled.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Precious: I remember your name, & I welcome you to this thread. Congratulations on your 7 weeks sobriety. You've passed the hardest part in my opinion. I too am a long-time member of MWO though not as long as you. I tried & tried to get sober just through the support I got here, valuable as it is. I just couldn't. In Feb. 2009, I had a horrendous drinking experience that landed me in the hospital. That was it! I knew I had to do something different. I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic & that I'm powerless over alcohol. I did that on March 23, 2009 & haven't had a drink since. These have been the best 2+ years of my life in terms of my personal growth, regaining my integrity, & getting honest w/myself & others. Life has its ups & downs though: my father died during my first year of sobriety & my daughter was diagnosed w/breast cancer right after my 2nd anniversary. I stayed sober throughout all that & am a better daughter, mother, & grandmother for it. I thank God for AA. I've found meetings & friends there that support me on my journey. I have a sponsor (I would recommend that) who is helping me w/the 12 steps. PP, if you have any specific questions or comments you like to ask/share, please don't hesitate to PM me. Good luck & again, congratulations.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Hi friends!! Quick check in before I leave with the girls for Akron. One of the girls has been 29 quite a lot longer than most (probably all) of us here. She struggled with alcohol in the days where nobody knew WHAT to do with alcoholics. She was locked up in more than one mental institution before she found her way to AA, which was not as prevalent in her early alcoholic days. And then it took her several years to finally "get it." She has now been sober 16 years. She is well knows throughout local AA circles for her devotion to the program and her service to AA. She is someone I look up to and I'm so excited to spend the weekend with her, and also my other AA friend.

Precious, I remember you too!! Congratulations on your 7 weeks. That is AWESOME. I got my start on sobriety here at MWO, but something was missing. I went through a difficult relapse and it took me a long time to get back on the wagon. Even after 8 months of sobriety, I was very fearful of relapse. I was afraid it would sneak up on me and I would not be able to prevent it. And I was afraid I would never be able to get back on the wagon again.

I saw someone posting here who also goes to AA. I saw so much personal growth in those posts over time. I saw a person who was dealing with the regular ups and downs of day to day life a lot more calmly and effectively than I was. That is what prompted me to give AA a try. It has added so much to my sobriety. I have a healthy respect for my powerlessness over AL. I am as suseptible to relapse as the next person. However, I now have a program that when I work it, that gripping fear is just not there. The compulsion to drink is gone. I love that. And all the tools for dealing with life are a huge bonus. Not to mention the friends I've made along the way. I hope your experience is similar! I look forward to hearing your thoughts here on the weekly AA thread.

On Wednesday I was at my regular morning meeting and the topic of resentment came up. An old timer said something that for me was very powerful. He was sober 15 years and then relapsed over resentment. He struggled for several years and thankfully, was able to get sober again and has been for 10 years now. (yes, hes' been 29 a long time too!!!) He has really studied resentment since it caused him so much pain. He said "I realized that judgement always preceeds resentment for me. So what I have to really watch out for is making judgements about people." WOW. I coulda had a V8. I thought about a huge resentment that I tackled early on at AA. It was towards my brother. It was bitter and it took me a long time to let it go. Even today, it will try to sneak up on me. And sure enough...the foundation of that resentment lies in my judgement of him - I think he should be involved in our family life differently than he is. THAT is what I have to let go of in order to really be released from this resentment.

I was also thinking that judging others preceeds gossip too - another issue I am vigilently working on.

Phil - I hope you find some good meetings in Orlando to get you through the trade show! I want to hear about them!!

Catch, I think it is awesome that you are present for your daughter TODAY. This is the only day that counts.

Mary, I love your posts. You have such a wonderful way with the written word. I hope your daughter is doing well!

Hello to everyone else. Hopefully will have some interesting stuff to post about Founders Day next week!

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

DG, what a terrific post! Judgement before resentment. Thanks for sharing that.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

DG: I too know about the "sneaking up" thing. I have 2 judgements/resentments that have been difficult for me to let go of. Whenever I think of the 2 people involved, my mind automatically goes into judgement/resentment mode. It's not pretty.

I too have been thinking about gossip. It's something that gives me a false sense of intimacy w/the recipient of my gossip. If I don't talk about others, then I have to talk about myself. Sometimes I really don't want to do that...especially if I'm going through something difficult.

Mary

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Hi all,

Not been on the forum for a bit as I was ill and then went to stay at my parents for a bit. Still been doing AA and have some really good news.

I'm 5 months sober (how did that happen??!) and have just been made secretary of one of my local meetings! It meant a lot as it was the guy who asked me to do my first chair who asked me to take over from him as he's moving back to the US. I'm excited but nervous. My first one is on Monday and I'll let you know how it goes!

Hope everyone is well. I see a few new names, so welcome to you all. I'll post again when I have more time, but just wanted to drop by.

K x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Jun. 6 - Jun. 12

Kimberly: Wonderful news! 5 months! Congratulations!

I hope you'll be feeling better soon. When I was drinking, my health was eroding. Even w/good genes, I was jeopardizing my body. Since I've been sober, I feel 100% better. I get the rest I need wo/using alcohol to fall into a fitful sleep (which is what I used to do). I have more real energy instead of nervous energy.

How do your parents feel about your new-found sobriety? I have a son who got sober in his late 30's, & we've noticed a huge change in his personality. All those years of drinking & pot smoking really drained him. He's still shy but is much more interesting & with it.

Take care one & all. It'll be a quiet day today w/a few AA friends coming over for a light supper then a meeting.

Mary