AF Tuesday June 7

[momof3]

Good Morning Fabber Abbers

Just got back from my morning boot camp and thought I would start us off this morning.

Thanks for the birthday wishes yesterday and the great discussion on our "out of the box kids." I was not prepared for how ill equipped and downright insensitive that the education system can be for kids such as ours. We had one public school that was absolutely wonderful for her but when I started looking into the middle school, I said no way.

Kaslo, I am sorry to hear about your daughter. The bullying can be devastating. My daughter has had similar experiences and the last time it happened, I threated to sue the school if they did not find a way to get the kids to stop. But unfortunately, parents often do not know that it is happening because the kids are too ashamed to say anything. When I read about the work you do, I can see my daughter doing the same thing. She has a passion for nature beyond what I have ever seen.

Back to work today. The weather is going to be super hot.

Uni, I'm wishing you all the best during your time away and I hope you get exactly what you need.

Okay, off to walk the doglet (that's what I call my dog. She's a Shih Tzu and my husband says she really isn't a dog).

xxoo
M3

[greeneyes]

AF Tuesday June 7

Fabbies!!

Thanks for the start M3 - hope you had a delicious birthday yesterday!

Shhhh.... don't tell little doggie but I'm going to the river with my bike instead of her. And I better leave now as it's going to get hot fast!

Check on you fabbies later!

[Marshy]

AF Tuesday June 7

Mornining Mom3. Belated happy birthday! 29 again?

Hi Greenie & all to come.

Went to the Tracey Emin exhibition yesterday which was mostly great. I like her emboidered blankets and neon signs but the box of rusty nails and used tampons were not really my thang :H
Hayward Gallery & Visual Arts | Southbank Centre.

I'm taking my girlfriend to meet my family for the first time at the weekend. I spoke to my mum yesterday and she says she wants to discuss her funeral arrangements with us all on Sunday. God, they were words I never wanted to hear. So I asked her if she wanted me to go by myself if there are are going to be serious family discussions going on but she said she wants to meet my GF. It's going to be a very weird and difficult time. My GF says it's a sign that my mum has reached a level of acceptance and is putting her house in order. I just don't think I've accepted it yet.

[momof3]

AF Tuesday June 7

Hi Marshy,

Yep, still 29 and holding.

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I think she is wise and brave to discuss her funeral arrangements. She is thinking of you I am sure she wants to make things easier. Having the experience of making funeral arrangements for both of my parents, it is nice to know that you are honoring what they would like. It is really very sweet that she wants to meet your GF too. Won't it be nice for you to get your mom's blessings, but it is disorienting when things such as this happen all at once.

My dad met my boyfriend (now husband) for the first time at my mom's funeral. My ex husband was also at the funeral and my grandmother was quite confused by it all because she thought we were still married.

PS Your GF sounds like a really solid and supportive person. I forgot to mention that I loved the picture you sent a few weeks back of the two of you. Cute couple.

M3

[greeneyes]

AF Tuesday June 7

Marshy;1127004 wrote: but the box of rusty nails and used tampons were not really my thang :H
Hayward Gallery & Visual Arts | Southbank Centre.

My GF says it's a sign that my mum has reached a level of acceptance and is putting her house in order. I just don't think I've accepted it yet.

Please tell me that box isn't pictured before I click the link.

Ohhhhhh......marshy. :l I find GF's take feels rather comforting. As I watch you go through this being full present, it is rather healing for me as I gently forgive myself for not being able to do that for my mother during those kinds of things. And I'm grateful that you are sharing. :h

[Marshy]

AF Tuesday June 7

Thanks Mom3 and Greenie. It does help to hear about other people's experiences about this.
Mom3, that must have added to the strangeness of the day.
Greenie, I can completely understand drinking through this. It's so difficult to cope with. I'm glad you are forgiving yourself.

Greenie, no tampons on the website - you have to pay to see the good stuff :H As well as all the rooms in the gallery, there were a couple of outside terraces that were part of the exhibition. One door to the outside was labelled "Baby Things" or something like that. So we went out and there was a totally empty space. We sat on a bench and talked about my mum and looked at the London skyline, then went to go back inside and there by the door was one tiny, dirty baby shoe. Art, eh?

OK, I'm off to meet GF and freeze in the lido. Have a good day all.

[universal]

AF Tuesday June 7

Morning abbers - I didn't drink yesterday after hearing the sad news and I am grateful for that this morning.

Marshy, my mom went through all her arrangements with my sister and I. It was difficult but when she passed it did make life so much easier because we knew exactly what she wanted and where to find the information. As people get older they tend to recognize their mortality more and want to ensure that their children aren't left with a burden. That makes your mom a strong woman indeed. And I'm glad you will have GF there to support you.

We had a big thunderstorm here this morning. I'm happy to be here at the trailer/cottage for the last couple of days before I leave. It is my happy place. Nice and quiet and serene. I may take a long walk later if the rain holds out.

Have a fab AF day guys.
Love and hugs,
Uni

[LVT25]

AF Tuesday June 7

Hello friends,

I haven't had a chance to catch up on yesterday's thread yet, I don't even remember what I posted! but wanted to pop in and say hi.

Marshy, I understand how you are feeling. I was told yesterday that our friend with cancer is making arrangements for his burial. He is younger than I am and he and his wife are some of our bestest friends. It was so hard to hear. But I have been thinking about making some of my own arrangements, esp about burial, because there are so many choices, and I asked my sons what they thought. Of course no one wants to talk about it, but it certainly makes it easier on the family later. My parents nor my sister made too many arrangements except my parents did have their plots and headstone. My sis wanted to be cremated and she told my bil he could do what he wanted. I think he is still talking about planting her with a tree at our farm. Tough subject--I really feel for you, nice that you will have some extra support.:l

Life with teenage boys continues to be interesting. #2 son and his friend came home Saturday night and announced that they had kissed girls--with tongues.:upset: I could hear my jaw hit the floor! Seems they were playing spin the bottle. I saw the mom hostess last night and she has a big road rash from her forehead to her chin. I asked my son what happened and she said all the adults were drinking (at their son's 15th birthday party) and she somehow fell on the driveway. Not cool.

It was hot here yesterday, I enjoyed it thoroughly. Another busy day of catching up. maybe I can get some more garden planted this evening.

Have a great sober day all!:h

[Lavande]

AF Tuesday June 7

Good morning Abbers!

M3, I just remembered there was a pre-school teacher who had the balls to tell me to my face that my son was 'a social deviant'. I told her she had no idea what she was talking about And boy was I ever right!!!
We, as parents have to fight a little harder for these kids & not allow uninformed adults get away with such damaging remarks.

Greenie, leave the AC on for your doggie ~ she'll appreciate it

Marshy, I remember my Mom going to the cemetary to pick out her own plot just a few months before she passed away. I think it gave her a sense of comfort but it just about took me apart. I'm glad you have GF there to support you, this is a rough time :l

Uni, glad you decided to stay safe & not drink yesterday. I am hoping for the best for you over the next few weeks.

Running outside now to feed & water the 'girls' then right back in to suck up the AC

Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!
Lav

[Lavande]

AF Tuesday June 7

Cross post LVT - hang in there with the teenagers

[papmom3]

AF Tuesday June 7

Calling All Fashionistas

Marshy, I feel for you. My dad has everything all set even tho he is not in any mortal danger (except his sailing trip this weekend with friends turned a bit scary and he was at the helm. Hmmmmm, not sure I'm likeing the idea of him getting his own boat anymore). He's told all 3 of us what he wants and it's in writing. I know I have to do this soon too but I just can't.

Uni-good job girl! Enjoy your last day at the trailer and in nature. It will put you in a good place for the rehab center.

LVT-You and Jennie and M3 and Lav sure had to deal with some serious stuff with your kids. Not envious at all. Sounds like everyone is doing the best they can and all will turn out fine because of it.


Below are pics at my first attempt to personalize the Paphut. I need your honest opinions on color and design.

1. It's bubblegum/fushia pink. Should I go lighter?
2. Should I keep the beige stripe
3. Should I paint the beige stripe pink?
4. Should I have one big solid block of pink without the white stripes inbetween?

Sorry the pics trying to compare the before stripes and after stripes are dark-they really don't do what it looks like justice.

[Kaslo]

AF Tuesday June 7

Buenos dias Abstinistas! Its going to be lovely here. DAY OFF FOR MOI. Sort of.
Edited this as simultaneously posted with P3: the camper looks great!! (Id love to have one of those.) I would take the pink and beige stripe all the way. Go Pap!

Uni, I can relate to the need to be in a peaceful place.

Thanks M3, for the kind words regarding my daughters struggle. She was bullied severly and I never knew, certainly the school people didnt bother to let me know, and she hid it. She had very white hair and an attitude, so that singled her out. Anyone a bit different can have a rough time.

Marshy, i also ssw the lovely photo of you and your partner. You both look like such great women. And she sounds like she is your touch stone. Very lucky, both of you, to have found each other. Your mom prob realizes that??

I wish that I had had more time to be accepting and supportive of my mothers death. I was traveling in Indonesia at the time, and it was not possible for me to even be there. Something I will always regret, I think.

So many of you had a chance to spend time with a parent deciding what had to be done before they died. I had a conversation with my mom about it, but it was months before she died, when we didnt know a major stroke was looming. In the end it was a battle with the brother-executor to respect her wishes. He was such a box of farts about it. I should tell the story some day. Its actually macabre and funny at the same time, but my mom would have been horrified. And brother 2 hasnt spoken to him since. I have since spent some time with a dear friend who died in hospice in Feb of this year, and that taught me the value of achieving peace and acceptance and making the best of whats left.

Anyway, so many of us have or had challenges with children. Mine are both adults now thank God, and that IS a lot easier, and I do enjoy them now.

I have to do invoices and look at some historical aerial photographs of a mine site with a pollution source and see what happened there over the years, because living memory differs. And weed my garden. It promises to be a lovely morning here in the mountains.

kas

[greeneyes]

AF Tuesday June 7

AWESOME bike ride! I'm SO chuffed!!

P3, I love the pink stripes and think you should make the beige one pink as well!

Kaslo, I can relate to the loss of a parent not quite bringing out the best in the siblings. We recovered and resumed the status quo, such that it is (snide smirk smilie thingy).

Way to go uni!

[greeneyes]

AF Tuesday June 7

box of farts :H:H:H

[scottish lass]

AF Tuesday June 7

wow - it is amazing the commonalities. I am going hom in July to celebrate my parents golden wedding anni and they told me that they have made their end of life plans and want to share with me when I get home.
I am delighted that they have done this. I work with dying people and their families, it is so hard when people do not know their loved ones wishes - facing death is hard, even though we know it is inevitable - any thing to make the process easier and less fraught is such a huge gift. I am dreading the day with eitehr parent, but it will be good to know that my brother and I will be abl eto carry out their wishes - my brother and I are not at all close, so it could have been a very tough time, and hopefully these plans will allow us to celebrate their lives rather than be caught up in arguements and tough choices....