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Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

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    #1

    Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

    Hi Everyone:

    I don't have a lot of time, but I thought I open this thread up to you. One of the lines in last night's BB story really struck me: "It 's not how much you drink...it's what drinking does to you." I know from listening at speaker meetings that there are people that drank way more than I did. Probably my age & physical condition had a lot to do w/that, as I couldn't cope w/huge quatities of alcohol. I drank plenty, but not as much as some. I could use that as a rationale for drinking again. "Maybe I wasn't so bad."

    I definitely was bad. As I said, I drank very abnormally.
    -Once I opened a bottle, I couldn't stop...a sure sign of alcoholism.
    -I hid my drinking as much as I could.
    -I did things when I drank that I'm not at all proud of.
    -etc.

    So, it's not how much but what it does.

    Mary
    Wisdom, Courage, Strength
    October 3, 2012
    Tags: None
    #2
    Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

    Hi everyone,
    Thank you Mary for starting the thread,
    This to really stoodout for me to... Its not how much you drink its what drinking does to you....
    I notice i was changing big time in my brain chemistry, if i go out with friends for a drink, the drink just made me feel like i had power it give me courage in the wrong way, i also did not give a shit at all about anything. I remember walking outside the restaurant after eating my meal and picking up two bottles of wine and walking out of the restaurant with them the waiter ranning after me and i was going mad at him because i wanted to drink the bottles on the way home. I think in the end i would of been like my brother getting into trouble and am not like that at all. It made me go a bit mad. The last year of my drinking i was losing my temper really bad towards my family for no reason at all, and could not remember anything the next morning.... Sometimes i did not have to drink a lot for it to make me feel this way ! plus i was blacking out a lot early too...
    I need to write this stuff down to remind myself not to pick up...
    Yes your right it what it does to ya in the end.
    Have a lovely week all and keep safe.x:l
    Formerly known as Teardrop:l
    sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
    my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

    Comment

      #3
      Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

      I don't want to dwell on all the bad things I did while I was drinking. But, you're right, I must never forget how it was.

      Cunning, baffling, powerful.

      I hear stories on daily basis about what happens when we start to take our sobriety for granted.

      M
      Wisdom, Courage, Strength
      October 3, 2012

      Comment

        #4
        Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

        Mary, such wise and frightening words: "Maybe I wasn't so bad."

        I shudder just reading that again. yet our primitive middle brain will indeed say this to us, maybe in different words.
        nosce te ipsum
        (Know Thyself)

        Comment

          #5
          Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

          Deter: It's so nice to see you here. I try not to let the gruesome details of my last drunk get too far from the front of my mind. The stinkin' thinkin' could weedle its way in & lull me into thinking I might be able to drink like a normal person. No way! I see how normal people drink...I didn't drink anything like that. How are you doing? I don't get around MWO the way I used to a couple of years ago. Mary
          Wisdom, Courage, Strength
          October 3, 2012

          Comment

            #6
            Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

            I went to a small meeting last night that was just starting up. There was a lot of emotion there. The one thing I took away from the meeting was the speaker's description of the vicious cycle. I sometimes forget about that.
            -Getting up.
            -Going through the motions of the day until I feel I can drink.
            -Getting the booze.
            -Anticipation as I open the cap for the first time.
            -Drinking much more than I want to.
            -Passing out.
            -Waking up & doing it all again.

            Not a pretty picture.

            Mary
            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
            October 3, 2012

            Comment

              #7
              Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

              "going through the motions of the day until I felt I could drink." WOW - that was me to a tee for many years. The time I felt I could drink got earlier. Then I really couldn't wait until a time I thought was appropriate - I couldn't stop myself from just drinking. That was the long slow battle for me that just got progressively worse, little by little, over the course of many years.

              I have never drank like a normie either. Normies like my husband have a drink or two and say "I'm feeling this - I better stop." Huh? "Feeling this" is what I was after and I wanted to "feel this" more and more and more.

              Catch - I was lashing out in anger, especially with family / DH, a LOT in the last couple years of my drinking. I was turning into a mean drunk and that was when I really crossed the line with my husband. I am so grateful I'm not living like that any more.

              Founders Day was awesome. If you ever get a chance to go - GO. So much AA history in Akron. One of my favorite events was a presentation on the history of the Big Book. It's truly amazing how it nearly didn't happen. Seems like an HP touched that process for sure. Mary, I would love to visit Bill's home as you did.

              Have a great day everyone.

              DG
              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

              One day at a time.

              Comment

                #8
                Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

                DG: The weekend sounds marvelloous. What those guys went through to get the BB published, establish a world-wide organization, & make the 12 spiritual steps understandable to all alcoholics. It's truly a miracle. Mary
                Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                October 3, 2012

                Comment

                  #9
                  Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

                  Greetings all from Orlando. I'm in the middle of a trade show. It ends Friday.
                  Lots of drinking opportunities but I have felt no desire. Went to two meetings so far. Thanks for AA, the rooms are a sanctuary to me.
                  Funny, when I run into people I've not seen for awhile, they say "wow, Phil you look good".
                  Imagine that is what 18 months of sobriety can do for ya.
                  Love and Peace,
                  Phil


                  Sobriety Date 12.07.2009

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

                    Phil: I get that comment too. What a huge toll drinking takes on our bodies. Mary
                    Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                    October 3, 2012

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

                      Hi everyone. Met with my sponsor last night and I'm working on step one. I have to make two lists. 10 things that illustrate that my life had become unmanagable (the consequenses) and 10 instances where I can see how I was powerless (ie: broken promises to myself/others0. I am going to a meeting at lunch time and then I'm off to Vegas. We are going with another couple and he is in the program and has been sober for 12 years so I am going to go to meeting while I'm there.

                      Wish me luck but, more importantly pray for my ass!
                      Sometimes I wonder...."Why is that frisbee getting bigger?"...and then it hits me.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

                        Hi Phil! I think it's awesome you are getting through these trade shows sober, and also getting to meetings to help get you through. Any lengths, right? I too can appreciate that comment. I look much closer to 29, my actual age (:H), today than I did a few years ago that's for sure!

                        PP - have fun in Vegas! How awesome to be traveling with a kindred spirit. I hope you will tell us what the meetings on the road are like! You and Phil are our road warriers.

                        Well, I officially have a new sponsee. There are many different approaches to taking the steps. (although the steps are the steps!!) The way my sponsor did it with me was to read the Big Book together taking the steps as we go. So that is where I will start with my new friend.

                        PP - I love the exercise your sponsor gave you!

                        Todays meeting held a couple of really good messages for me. 1) the importance of service work and the gifts that brings into MY life and 2) looking for guideance from HP sooner rather than waiting until I'm in deep doo doo begging for help.

                        Have a great day all!

                        DG
                        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                        One day at a time.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

                          PP: Have a wonderful time! I know you will. Your lists are going to be very revealing. I like the concept. If we don't remember how unmanageable our lives are when we drink, then we'll just drink again.

                          Service Work: My sponsor has been in AA for 27 years, & still looks for new opportunities to do service. She calls AA her medicine.

                          HP: I'm trying to seek HP's guidance for my life.

                          Mary
                          Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                          October 3, 2012

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

                            Met up w/friends, including sponsor, at last night's step meeting. it was great. The step was 10, & the focus was on restraining ourselves so that an amends doesn't have to be made.

                            In the second paragraph of the reading (I paraphrase): there is no justifiable anger...also, whenever we are hurt or resentful, regardless of how justified it seems, we always have a part. That is so difficult. I don't carry around a lot of resentments. But over the last few years, I've been deeply offended by 2 individuals. I don't think about these resentments every day, but whenever I think about those people, I do feel the resentment & hurt again. Let Go & Let God helps whenever they come to mind. I'm trying.

                            Hope all is well.

                            Mary
                            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                            October 3, 2012

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Weekly AA Thread - June 13 - June 19

                              Mary, accepting that I always have a part in resentments is difficult for me to. I like to feel self righteous. But humbling myself to really consider my own behavior and thinking I what I need to do.

                              DG
                              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                              One day at a time.

                              Comment

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