wed 29 june af

[bear73]

Morning all - drank again last night with friend - met in pub.Had 4 drinks when planned to have none,then 1 or 2 - it's hard to stop when i feel a bit drunk.Oh yeah, I conveniently forgot I have a drink problem!

I feel awful today - back to one day at a time and no opening of self help books for me - here,Philip Tate book and SMART website is enough

Bean - definitely too much naval gazing going on round here - today i will rest/rehydrate/buy some nice (healthy) food for lunch - clean the house and do some gardening.
Later I may go to the gym/skate if not.

Onwards.

[Doggygirl]

wed 29 june af

Hi Bear and thanks for getting us started today. And P3, thanks for helping with the morning kick off!!!

Bear, is going to bars a good idea? I had to change my "people, places and things." From everything I've been reading lately (at an extremely basic level) about how the brain operates with memories and neural pathways, there is a good scientific explanation for why this change of scenery is suggested as an important thing in early recovery. I have very little issue today with going to a bar for a specific non-drinking reason. A business networking event. And then, even after 3 years sober, I eat before I go, and always have an early exit strategy. Meet friends in a bar for "drinks" when theirs will be AL and mine AF? That's just not my cup of tea. I don't care if my friends drink, but I do not enjoy being with them when they do. I have tried to pursue other activities which allow socializing in settings where drinking is not the main focus or preferably, not going on at all. That's just me and I know others are more involved with AL settings. For myself, I just don't see the point. I battle the sugar monster too, and I would not care to meet friends at the ice cream parlor and try to watch them eat ice cream while I have some celery sticks. I would rather organize a different activity with my friends.

Volunteer work has been a very nice social outlet for me where there is no booze involved, and we are together for a common purpose that is positive. Opportunities abound for stuff like that. (in the US anyway!)

OK - Off soap box... :soapbox:

P3 - it sounds like the sewing machine is a good deal, and for something you really enjoy. For $89 I could see being able to save that much money pretty quickly by making things instead of buying things. Your post made me think of my Mom who is a sewer. At one point she bought a really old sewing machine - but it was one she could use for heavy things including some leather (thin leather, but still) as well as upholstry fabric. She would repair her own horse blankets and halters and she also did some light upholstery with it (i.e. chair cushions). You are very creative and thrifty so I'm sure you can make good use of it!

Well, time for breakfast. This season has been so strange, we are FINALLY expecting to get our "spring" weed/dandelion treatement on the yard this morning. And FINALLY finish the porch painting which was decided upon during the winter and we were "first up" for the project with out painter. Sheesh.

I'm also going to the gym this morning for a demo appointment of TRX http://www.100wizard.com/wp-content/...8007818-84.gif. Has anyone here done this?

It's supposed to be another GORGEOUS day here, and I plan to enjoy it to the fullest. I hope you all do too. One thing is for sure...

DG

[momof3]

wed 29 june af

Good Morning All,

Bear....ditto everything that DG said. Plus...quit the self-sabatage and step into your OWN power. I know you have it in you.

Hi DG, How are things going for you? I have heard great things about TRX and will be interested in hearing your experience.

P3. I read your post on the other Wednesday thread. Sewing machine is a great idea...good for you. I am happy that you are finding joy in the quilting. I don't take my sewing machine out nearly enough. I find it so relaxing when I do.

Later,
M3

[papmom3]

wed 29 june af

Sorry bear for posting over your post. How did I miss it?
I can't add anything more. DG is right on-the only way you're going to be able to get a handle on this monster is to NOT put yourself in those kind of situations. I LOVE her ice cream parlor analogy! That hit home for me!

I've called the sewing center and left a message to hold one of the machines for me. Now I'm getting excited even tho it totally is NOT part of my very carefully crafted and limited budget but at that price and that quality a machine I can't go wrong. I'm not saying I'll be making my own clothes (although my sister would probably say that would be an improvement over my WallyWorld wardrobe!:H) but I do want to be able to make belly bands for the boys and hopefully if my idea works out, be able to sell them on Etsy or Ebay, and of course continue with the Quilting.

Here is my message from the Universe today-thought it was spot on!!

Some will hear, but not listen.
Some will listen, but not understand.
And some will understand, but not act.
But, Pam, OMG, once you have a new job and more money... rest assured these very same friends will call you "lucky," as they secretly begin to move with their own dreams.
Love to love you,
The Universe

This is from the TUT website (Mike Dooley). Not sure it's the same "Universe" that you guys subscribe to but the only other one I could find was a paid subscription and this one was free. I like it so far. Already have a vision board posted on it!! Yep, got a LOT of work done yesterday!!

[bear73]

wed 29 june af

Hey there - thanks for inspiration and straight talk as usual - it's nearly 1pm and I almost feel ok now. What a waste! It's scared me how much I wanted to drink yesterday - and wanted to drink MORE.I was drunk sat evening and really wanted to get drunk Tuesday(couldn't even lie to myself that I'd only drink at weekends)

Mof3 - particularly like the 'own power' thought - self belief and commitment to myself are what's needed in spadefuls(in general - at work, with weight loss,with self confidence).

Time for a quick lunch/then shower and cleaning/gardening in a minute. Plan to make the most of the sick day.

[bear73]

wed 29 june af

ooh hi Papmom - sorry missed yours as well!
Getting the focus back now, need to be here more.

Think rational recovery book didn't work for me as the aspect of 'forever commitment' felt too much at this stage - like the 1 day at a time approach with all changes and the SMART thinking.

[AAthlete]

wed 29 june af

Bear, thanks for getting us started and for being honest about your drinking. I've always believed that up until I take that first drink, I have the power to say yes or no. However, once the first drink passes my lips and the craving sets in, I'm powerless to control what happens from there. DG was spot on in that you can't put yourself in those situations early in your sobriety and expect to have much success. You mention that it scared you how much you wanted to drink yesterday - I'm betting that the voice in the back of your head told you it would be okay to go to the bar and just drink AF drinks, when all along it knew you would drink.... Remember our disease is cunning, baffling & powerful...

Anyway, I'll hop off my soapbox as well and get my butt back to work. Was painting the house shutters black last night to help pull out some of the darker color in the shingles and think the really turned out great. So, one more thing off the list, a couple of hundred more to go! :H

Morning to everyone else. DG & M3, you both are turning into quite the workout machines - I'm going to have to start coming to you for motivation! Awesome to see you both some passionate about that aspect of your lives. Brought the tri-bike in today for a little ride at lunch since the weather is going to be so nice.

P3 - love that quote and it is so true!

[LVT25]

wed 29 june af

Hello friends,

Hang in there Bear and Bean! Just don't quit trying ok?:l

I guess you all think I'm nuts for my love of hot weather.:H I was just so tired of winter and I absolutely HATE the cold. I will take 100 degrees over 30 degrees any day! (As long as I can come home to my nice cool air conditioned home). Of course 75 or 80 would be optimal. We don't have a lot of humidity (compared to you all east and south of me) but I'm also strange in the fact that I prefer it to be humid rather than hot, dry and windy--sorry Det! Anyway, thanks for posting that link DG. I don't know enough about Dr. Mercola, he kind of gives me the impression of a medicine man. But I do like his theory about the sun not being our enemy! I'm going to check into this a little further!

Pap--my mom and my sister were both awesome seamstresses. I learned how to sew mostly in 4-H, but never learned to love it. But I'm glad I know how. My sister was an avid quilter--she had a huge computerized quilting machine in her basement....I assume my brother in law has that sold by now. But I asked him if I could have her sewing machine. She also collected antique sewing machines, I think she had 18 of them. She turned their family room into a sewing room. Gosh I miss her.

Ok, so I am going to go to work before the heatwave hits. No AC for me until later this afternoon. Have a great sober day all.:h

[Lavande]

wed 29 june af

Good morning Abbers!

Running late this morning - could be due to seriously disrrupted sleep again.
I'm causing myself a lot of angst (again) over something I cannot control. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary - enough said......

bear, I agree with everyone - stop setting yourself up for failure & stay out of the bars & pubs. There is no sense in putting yourself in that kind of situation if you don't want to drnk AL!

DG - that thing looks like a freaking torture device to me :H
Good luck!!

Greetings M3, AA, papmom, LVT & everyone!

I currently own two computerized sewing machines. I've been sewing since the age of 12 but never got into quilting. I did clothing for myself & others, kids of course & even did a wedding gown for my sister-in-law a hundred years ago. I stitched every cutrain panel in my house, pillows, etc. I've always found sewing to be relaxing even when I was having problems when a project. Can't tell you how many times I've thrown a project in the corner & stomped off. But, the next day I could pick it up & continue on until it was finished
My embroidery machines are commercial & totally separate but everything is set up in my home shop Now I feel like sewing something

Wishing everyone a good AF Humpday!

Lav

[jennyneric]

wed 29 june af

Good Morning! I had a fab day yesterday. But today the stinkin' thinkin' is here an LOUD!

P3 can you send me the instructions for belly bands? I got all the stuff a month or two ago but have never gotten around to doing them. I want to work on that this weekend.

I'll check in later!

[Doggygirl]

wed 29 june af

Hi again folks! Just zoom zoomin' through. Hi P3 (love the message!), AA (have fun on your lunch bike - it is TOTALLY gorgeous today!), LVT - (IMO Mercola is a "shock jock" with the way he presents information - but sort of interesting. I've started to unsubscribe a zillion times and can't bring myself to do it LOL!), M3 & M3 - more on TRX in a mo...

Jenny - It is likely that some days will be great and you won't think of AL at all at this stage, and other days the voice might nag a bit. Just keep hanging in there. We CAN change the mental channel! For me, doing something active (go for a walk, week the garden) seems to work better than doing something passive (reading, watching TV).

TRX WOULD make a perfect torture device Lav! We could do some REAL damage to YB with that thing! :b&d:

It was very interesting. And I will say that in the 30 minute "demo" I probably spent between 5 and 10 actual minutes working out, and I will likely be sore tomorrow. That speaks to either my lousy level of fitness or my age. Since I am 29, I will blame the fitness level! Actually, I have been off of weight training for probably about 2 months now so it's high time I get back to resistance work. TRX would be an interesting choice. The demo exercises today involved a LOT of squatting and lunging. So I really need to see how my knees feel before deciding whether to sign up (and pay) for the class. Mean time, there are so many other FREE classes included with my membership doing other stuff that I need to just start going to some of them.

I pass by the local off track betting place regularly in my travels. I'm not a gambler - have only gambled for fun on business outings, cruise ships, stuff like that. I've only been inside this OTB place ONE time - sober - for a business after hours Chamber event sometime last winter. Today, a sneaky little thought crossed my mind. "That would be a good place for a drink. It's dark in there. Quiet. Nobody would know."

I don't get little thoughts like that very often any more. And usually I just laugh and change the channel and don't give it another thought. In light of the discussion earlier today about bars and memory and mental pathways and stuff, I chose to really think about that little urge. It sort of suprised me that I would have a thought of drinking in a bar where I have never drank. And that I pass by regularly and don't have that thought.

I think the pathways in the mind are just strong, and nothing to mess with. This was just a reminder that I can't take my sobriety for granted. It was also just a confirmation that I don't like going to bars, and just don't unless there is a prevailing business reason to be there. I am very sure that is the right decision for me. Maybe that's why that thought popped up - just to solidify that for me.

OK - zoom zoom. One thing is for sure...

DG

[momof3]

wed 29 june af

Back for a quick check in.

P3...I received that TUT message (Mark Dooley) today too and it was about being a yoga teacher. Funny how that showed up the day after I applied and was accepted into the program!! I am happy you made the decision to purchase the sewing machine. Who knows where it may bring you? I so appreciate how you don't get "stuck" where you are; that you keep moving and taking action. You rock P3.

Bear, I think it is really great that you keep coming back and keep trying. And, that you are open to everyone's feedback and tough love. I know that all of us have told you before that you should stay out of the bars; that it's a sure set up for failure. So, my question is, why do you keep setting yourself up for it? What's going on deep down inside that causes you to step into the same pothole? I know when I keep doing the same thing over and over, it is time for me to get real with myself and do some soul searching.

DG, There are alot of upper body exercises associated with TRX to...just wait, you'll see. Oh yes, I have those sneaky little thoughts from time to time too (about drinking). Fortunately, they are not overwhelming and I see them as a reminder to stay vigilant.

Wow, all of these seamstresses here...Lav, LVT.

Later,
M3

[Kaslo]

wed 29 june af

Good day, eh?

Bear, I never know when to kick arse or to commiserate, and would like to do both. I guess I read the words of people who have been successful and they all say find replacement behaviours, learn why you drink and fix that, as best you can, and dont put yourself at risk. I think that alcohol does something to the brain, sort of like parastic biology, to ensure that it doesnt KILL its victim, but rather maintains the victim so it will allow the parasite to survive and keep replicating. Maybe I am going out on a biological limb but AL seems to make us pretend to ourselves we are coping, and does everything it can psycologically to make us believe its ok to carry on consuming. WE do this to ourselves. Whats with that?

DG, good luck with the TRX. Does anyone remember 5BX? Ha ha. LAV, M3, P3.... sewing was a pastime for me. Never did much in the recent past. Used to make my own coats for heavens sake. Everytime I buy fabric, its way more expensive than ready-to-wear, so I gave up... but used to enjoy it. LV, I too lost my only sister in 81. I miss her as well. Anyway I have an horrendous amount of work to do, so must go. The hub has a chance to move back to Vancouver Island to Victoria again.... we have to think about that. Everyone have a great day. Bean n'Bear thinking of you. kaslo

[greeneyes]

wed 29 june af

Two threads and I had a hard time finding EITHER of them!! :H I'm such a creature of habit, I look for AF Daily.... and if I don't see that I assume there isn't a thread. Duh!

The bathroom is coming together! I had a phase where I didn't like it so much (when all I could see was the shower. But now it's really shaping up and I really like it. I might love it when it's all done! I have to figure out affordable window TX now though. First thing I looked at would be $450!! NO WAY!

LOVED the line about not wanting to meet friends at an ice cream parlor and eat celery sticks, DG! :H How true!

Bear, ditto on the advice.

Kaslo, can I have your house and garden if you move?

P3 - that's the same universe. I love the daily message & wish they had it on weekends. I too have a sewing machine and I want to make a cover for the dog bed innards now that little doggie stopped destroying everything. Sorry I didn't get to the fabric store when I had the 50% off coupon. In HS I used to make fully lined dresses w/ covered buttons and all that jazz.

Hidey Hi to all - gotta cook some dinner and go run a couple errands. Going to the river at 7AM to walk is keeping me sane. :h to everyone!

[Determinator]

wed 29 june af

A tad early for once! Hidy Ho AB-enators!

Bear, there's no room left on the soap box, sorry just know your loved and we are here.

Kas, what a good analogy on the parasite mechanism....creepy and appropriate.

DoggyGirl, i used to sell the TRX system to law enforcement and military at my previous company. it's an awesome system with some really unique movements. I should have brought mine with me so I can workout in the hotel but I forgot it. d-oh! some of the abdominal exercises are just killer.

Bars are icky disgusting places! on my last binge I went to the local pub for the first time ever. even drunk and depressed I looked around and thought to myself: holy sh*t these people look like hell! and it could be a window into our future if we maintain that lifestyle.

off to an early steak dinner and then back to the hotel room to catch up on work emails and early sleep.

be well friends