AF Daily Sunday 3 July

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning everyone.

Beautiful sunshine here which puts me in a great mood. Thank you all for your kind thoughts yesterday. It certainly helps

[Loppy lugs]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

Oops don't know how that submitted but anyway....

Thanks everyone for the kind thoughts yesterday. Although it is very early days this business of stopping and examining every compulsion to drink and then dealing with the real issue rather than drowning it with booze does seem to be working for me. Also 16 days and no panic attacks, I am amazed, pleasantly obviously. I do however seem to be falling asleep all over the place. I know it is one of the bodies healing mechanisms but it does get in the way of doing other things. Can anyone remember how long this stage lasts. My sobriety in 2008 was helped by antabuse and exhaustion and feeling crappy is one of the side effects, so I m not sure how much was the coming of alcohol and how much was the medecine to help me.

Lav have wanted chickens for ages and even costed out an igloo (very cute hen house and run) to keep them in but realistically the fox problem around here is too bad. I don't even put the rabbits outside in the run unless I can sit with them. The local urban foxes really have no fear even in daytime. I have become especially careful about leaving the back door open since one of them has taken to crapping outside it (believe me there is no mistaking it for cat!!!!!). I think they can smell the bunnies. I have also decided to start collecting Zucchini recipes (although we call them courgettes over here). I might try growing some of my own because they sound like something even I couldn't kill. I planted out a pot of live rosemary from the supermarket a few weeks ago because I had only used a little bit. It is still alive so there is some hope.

LVT - Teenagers!!! I was the teenager from hell which is one of the reasons I decided to remain childless. However they turn into great caring adults so worth the wait. Although one of my nephews seems to want to remain a teenager for ever so we might be waiting a long time in his case. Actually he is sweet as he is just immature.

Kas an interesting post yesterday. I hadn't been on the site all the time I was drinking so when I logged back on I thought you had been on it for ages. I have always loved the AF daily threads even before they were called that because no one is mean. I haven't checked out many of the other threads this time but sometimes on the other threads people were angry and mean and picked on other people. I have never seen that here. People give tough advice when it is appropriate but that is different. I like coming here because it feels so safe and caring.

Bean good job on dodging the bullet on Friday night. When pushed to drink I have been saying that I have a few health issues at the moment (don't have to say that it is alcoholism). The other Saturday when pushed further that "one drink won't hurt you" I replied that did he realise how horrible that sounded, that really what he was saying was that he didn't care how ill I was he wanted me to have a drink to make me worse. He was mortified and said that he hadn't thought of it like that and just wanted me to have a drink to keep him company. I said no problem with that, just make mine a lime and soda please. I haven't tried AF beer but would worry that someone would come back from the bar with a normal one and I would have to explain why they had wasted their money.

Momof3 Hope your back improves soon and that the meds help. I know how debilitating pain is of its own account. Makes me cracketty.

DG Love the new avatar. I liked the old one because I knew it was one of your own. I don't know if I said before but I lost the bunnies I posted pictures of the other year. I lost them last summer, one to heart failure and one to pneumonia, just a few weeks apart. Have new house rabbits now. One is an English and the other is an English/Nethie cross. So very 101 dalmations looking. I have had them for about 10 months now and still don't have any decent pictures of them because they never stay still for long enough. I had forgotten what it is like to have young animals, they chew everything!!! I am on my way to Bluewater to buy a new strapless bra as my best one bounced out of the wash bin when I lobbed it across the room last night. Naturally bunnies found it and made it nice and lacey for me!!!! My fault because if it is on the floor it is fair game for rabbits.

Loved the AF Daily org chart. Where would we be without Greenie to keep us in order.

PM3 have always loved the sereniy prayer because it is so right, almost commn sense. So why is it so difficult in reality. I am a bit conflicted though because I don't want to become less trusting of people generally. So how to strike a balance? What a combination of emotions you went through yesterday. It must have been exhausting but congratulations on getting through without a desire to drink.

AA Happy Birthday!!!

Jenny Good luck with your papers but you are certainly putting in the work so you deserve to do well.

Time to start doing all those things I didn't do yesterday because I fell asleep for 3 hour immediately after I posted.

Take care.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

Happy Sunday Loppy and thanks for getting us started!!! Sometimes when you are the first poster, it's good to start with a short post anyway - lessens the chance of cross posting and ending up with 2 threads. So that worked out great!! I am so sorry that you lost your bunnies - especially so close together last year. I know they mean a lot to you like the doggies do to me. So happy you have a new pair though! I hope you can get pictures one of these days. LOL on your lacey bra!!!! Are bunnies potty trainable? How does that work? What a great reponse to the "just have one" guy. I think it's good you took the time to do that. I'm sure he'll think about "oh just have one" before he says it in the future. Pressuring someone to have a drink is really very self centered. As he said - he wanted you to drink with him and keep him company.

AA - :bday7: I think AA is traveling for the weekend with his son, yes?

Jenny - so glad you checked in!!! Do you have a solid plan for the two events?? Things like eat before you go, arrive late, have an exit strategy, bring something AF and special to drink....something along those lines? Much safer than just hoping it's OK.

P3 - another great post. It sounds like the funeral was difficult. I love how you described that you WANTED to feel it instead of numb it. That is the kind of personal growth I still have to really work on. Not so much wanting to numb things with AL, but really being willing to face the true feelings. ((((P3)))) The avatar - I joined a challenge for July in the Fitness section and there seems to be a running "pink" theme. So there you have it.

Lav - Zukes/Courgettes are funny, aren't they? If the weather conditions are good for them, LOOK OUT!!!! ZUKES ARE COMIN'!!! My plants look very healthy are are flowering, but still only 2 tiny zukes a couple inches long. Last year???? Oh my. I had enough for all of us here and some to sell on e-bay too. What are you up to today?

M3 - how is your back today? I hope the change to ice helped it feel better! Plus the meds!

Hello fabbies yet to come!!

Well, I gotta make breakfast then go to Weight Watchers. I am not looking forward to this weigh in, but I've learned that I do much better if I just go face it than if I try to run and hide.

Have a good day one and all. One thing is for sure....no booze will be crossing these lips today.

DG

[papmom3]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

DG-good luck with WW-I feel the same way. I didn't want to weigh in yesterday either and had a great excuse with the funeral and all but I did and guess what?? Stayed the same! After diving into the dessert table at both events I am back on track today and will track every day!! A few people at the funeral said they could see a difference in my face already and that is only with 8 lbs gone so I have a ton of motivation now.

Loppie-that response to your friend was BRILLIANT!!! Oh my what guts you had to say that too him and I am so proud of you for doing that!! My guess is he's got a small (or large) problem himself and for you to say no thanks really hit a nerve with him. We drinkers can be so selfish-it's all about us isn't it? "C'mon, one drink won't hurt!!" Would a smoker ever say that to someone who had quit ciggies? NO!! But AL, drug and gambling addictions are just so incidious and selfish. Again, good on you and I will remember that line if I am ever in that situation.

Well, I've got about 6 or 7 freecyclers coming in 30 min to dig up the rest of my perennial garden and front gardens (I hope). I am so excited to "gut" these beds and start over. My SIL has some neat dwarf ornamental grasses for me when I'm ready and they will look fabulous in front of the tall Zebra grass I hope to get ON SALE!! in September from local nurseries (or maybe a freecycler!!). I am ready for my yard to look the way I dream it every day-neat, tidy, peaceful and serene. All beds edged and mulched. I know I shouldn't be doing this in the middle of summer as I will sacrifice the beautiful albeit messy color I still have but nows the time. Fall will be too busy with no chance of time off (because I WILL get this job2A!!).

I'll try to post some "before" pics when the garden was at its peak a few years ago, then I'll take pics of it gutted and then of course "after" when it's remodeled.

Ok, gotta go pick up dog poo!!

[Lavande]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

GM Abbers!

Just finished rearranging my chickens again :H
I introduced the 4 youngters into the big flock yesterday but 3 of them apparently were just not ready So, I put them back into the nursery for now ~ the 4th one seems to be holding her own. I just have to be sure the others are letting her get to the feed & water. The pecking order thing can be nasty at times. Chickens can be mean sometimes :H

My day will be spent dodging T storms & putting a 2nd coat of paint on my bedroom walls. I chose a silvery/blue color hoping it will make me feel calm. Well, at least I can hope!!

Have a good AF Day Loppy, DG & everyone!

Oh, and HAPPY BD to AA

Lav

[LVT25]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

Hello friends,

Thank you for getting us started this morning Loopy. How many bunnies do you have? I always thought my boys should show rabbits at fair, but knew I'd be the one taking care of them and honestly had enough of that in vet tech school. They are cute thought and I'll bet much, much easier than teenagers!:H

DG, I snooped around a little to try to find you on facebook. But there are many with your last name. If you (or anyone here) would want to friend me, send me a pm.
Laura Engals I am not. But I am doing more stuff that yb's and the like should do, simply because I have to. FYI--no potholes, just some washouts in a road where they had buried a water line. It went fine by the way. I am surprised I didn't fall in the way the rest of my day went.

Yesterday was pretty great. I got the rest of my plants planted in the greenhouse. I waited on the herb garden because there was a high chance of storms last night and I did not want $40 worth of plants to get pounded into the earth. I made a cute little topsy turvy planter that my sister had started for me, but I see it blew over in the storm. I hope I can get it straightened up and then I will post a picture.

It was kind of nice to get out last night, even though I did do dishes for about 3 hours straight. Had a nice visit with my eldest son, who also helped for a bit. Even saw an old friend. I thought hubby might want to go out and socialize so I was prepared to go with him, but he said he was going to just have one or 2 with the guys and go home, so I decided to come home and check on my son and his friends. AND I was tired.
Well hubby decided to stop off at the bar because his friend from out of town was there. Of course a few people asked about me. I am feeling like a fuddy duddy again--that people must think I never go out and do anything fun. On one hand I would have loved to visit with some friends I have not seen in a long time, on the other hand, it's not that much fun talking to others when they have been drinking.
Not much on the agenda today. Was just invited out to breakfast from the friend from out of town. So I guess we'll do that, go to church and hopefully play in the dirt some more. It is suppose to get hot, so we might head to the lake later.
Happy birthday to AA. Hope he is enjoying "The Good Life" in Nebraska.
Have a sober day all!:h

[Bean]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

Morning everyone.

Now I am wondering what is this AF Daily org chart you speak of?!

Lop, that WAS a brilliant response to the guy pressuring you to join him in drinking. And SO true that we'd never (hopefully not) say that to someone who had successfully quit smoking or gambling. Definitely one to remember. Thanks!

I was watching a follow up episode of Intervention yesterday. One girl had been a heroin addict, she managed to quit eventually. At the first time, her family were advised to go to therapy to heal themselves and support her but they never went. By the time of the follow up, they were still watching her every move, crying, saying how much they wanted her to be better etc. The interventionist pointed out that SHE was doing the work and successfully so and the only people who hadn't done what was asked of them was the rest of the family. It gave them pause for thought and they all said they would go to support groups & therapy in order to support her recovery. But surprise, surprise, the final comment was that she was sill doing well and none of the others ever went to any therapy...

I wondered what you all make of that? It must happen time and time again. When I broke up with my guy recently, he finally admitted that my drinking really scares him. But throughout our relationship he went on and on about how he wanted to help me (and still wants to), but it kind of p***es me off because, to my knowledge, he has never ONCE looked up any info about dealing with AL or addicts on the internet. There is so much information out there but I feel like people just talk the talk but don't walk the walk and then blame you when you relapse. I know that the desire and commitment to be AF has to come from the individual and the buck always rests with us but...how much do you think is the responsibility of the family and friends to educate themselves and be prepared to do some work on themselves to aid the recovery of the addict?

Just my thought for the day. And now...late for work as usual! Hi to all. Enjoy this Sunday.
Bean

[Determinator]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

Happy Sunday ABers across the fruited plain!

Loppy, bunnies ate your bra? oh my....that's a new one for me

Bean, sorry you're feeling disillusioned about others and the way they relate to our issues. I think it's just a par for the course here....nobody will understand us like we do and that will never change. At least we are not alone. thankfully!

well, got the car all packed to go shooting with a buddy and have a flat tire so I'm waiting for the hardware store to open, then going for a bike ride in the 100 degree weather (slowly!) to get a repair kit.

Bear do check in!

be well everyone and all to come

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

Yes Bear - come out come out wherever you are! Every one of us here can relate to your struggles of late, and also to the AWESOME AF patch you have had - your best ever. Whatever the rest of the world does or doesn't understand...all of us here absolutely understand the cunning, baffling and powerful nature of AL.

P3 - I love your perk! And congrats on a total of 8 down. I hear ya on the stuff that gets overgrown - then has to be remodeled. We've got so much space in our yard that is in dire need of remodeling, and yet I'm wanting to spend money on stuff to put in empty spaces elsewhere. I need to just get my a$$ out there this fall and move it around! You ARE going to be busy with Job 2A!!!

Lav - how can you tell that the 3 chickies weren't ready? Did they sustain pecking injuries? Or were just outcasts? How could you tell the other one "made it?" Just by seeing it get to the food and water? I think females of many species are the ones to worry about. I think women are harder on other women than men are on men. I know that female dogs will fight to the death in a way that is different from how males posture for pack position. And now hens!!!!

LVT -

...it's not that much fun talking to others when they have been drinking.

...that people must think I never go out and do anything fun.

OK. If the queen were here, this is what I think she would say. (where is she BTW??) I think she would suggest if you don't have fun talking to others when they've been drinking, then don't - and stop worrying about what anyone thinks of it. AA is so full of corny sayings it's cringworthy sometimes. Until I hear ones I like, then of course they are AWESOME sayings! Anyway - a fave of mine:

Your opinion of me is none of my business.

That's one for the ages. I've had to work really hard (and still do) to stop worrying about what other people think of me, and to stop letting that guide some of my behavior. My guide to choices and behavior needs to be based on something else.

Det - I hope you are not biking very far in 100 degree heat for a part!!!! :egad: Please be careful. I know you are a very very macho man, but even macho men have limits - OK?

I don't know what's up with my knees. Every once in awhile I will have a "twinge" that is REALLY painful and keeps me awake all night. Then it's fine in the morning, and off I go. I won't mention I walked 10K after the Weight Watchers meeting this morning because you guys would all advise against it. (But see? I don't care what you think! :H) There are a lot of really really cool trails through all the forest preserves in my area. I need to get out and explore / enjoy them more. One part of today's trail went behind some :shocked: HUGE homes. Big enough for several families to live in. I had no idea there were houses THAT big anywhere near here!!! I wonder if any of those people collect condom tins?

Oh Lav and Det - when you start your new business venture, I expect a portion of the profits. That is all.

Well, I'm going to read on in the other David Kessler book I checked out from the library. The name of this one is "A Question of Intent" and is about the FDA v. Big Tobacco. I'm getting a better appreciation for the FDA and the truly daunting task they face given all the forces surrounding that agency - politicians, lobbyists, big business. Oy! It's an interesting read so far. Lots of things I never considered before.

Love you fABbies! :h

ONE THING IS FOR SURE!!!!

DG

[bear73]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

hey l am here - 3 days sober - had great weekend at friends/watching roller derby/eating and sleeping lots.

The wine of Thursday - I spontaneously stopped on way home to buy it. I don't usually physically crave alcohol when I have stopped but this time I have - that scares me.I'm gambling aren't I,why am I risking it?

This part of me keep piping up with 'you're not THAT out of control' I think I need to add YET to that sentence. I am out of control to an extent - what would make it enough - liver damage?lost job?relationships?Home?

I wouldn't be trying to give up at all/cut down if there was no problem would I?
I have tried to cut down and it's not been successful for any period of time of more than a month usually (or not at all this time!)

How do you battle with that other voice that says ' just one' 'not bad enough' 'give up tomorrow' ?

[Determinator]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

Bear, so good to have you.

why negotiate with a voice that wants nothing but to hurt you? instead you must lay down the law preemptively every day. I start my new day thankful to be AF and thankful for my AF friends, family and support network here. the voice will try to get our attention but we just keep walking straight ahead.

[Kaslo]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

Good morning, whats left of it, to all Fabstinators! Slow morning here. Call from the bro. long breakkie on the deck. Dusting off the canoe, and seeing its gots some chips on the surface of the bow, gonna stick it in the pick up and take it down to the river.

Thanks to LAV and LOP, I now want chickens AND rabbits! Rabbits with a lingerie fettish, OH...kayyyy.
Mof 3: as a several time orthopedic train wreck, dont make me count the breaks and replacements and issues, I highly recommend 10 min of ice 3 xD to start, then heat and ice, then heat. And if it flares up, ice again. And some gentle stretching. Hopefully its muscles and tendons and they heal well. You are such an athelete though, I am sure you know what to do to fix it.

Happy Birthday AA. Nice to spend it with your son.

Jenny, I see you have thrown yourself into studies, thats really great, and you seem to be able to have knocked off the sauce even with all that strain.

DG and P3 I wish I could go to WW. Its not a fun group here, let me just say that. ANd P3 congrats on 8 lbs. I want to do that. I havent spent any time on dieting just concentrated on nixxing the you know what. Its been 5.5 months now. So maybe I can do it.

Lav, chickens are just like people in so many ways. Birds are a lot smarter than we give them credit for, even though chickens DO appear to be a few bricks shorter than us. Or maybe I am easily fooled. AND Lav, you totally deserve to have a blue silver sanctuary. My thing is nice bedding. Have you bought any new stuff yet to go with the whole enchilada??

LVT... I am looking forward to pix, I love looking at photographs, and when it comes to garden plants, well I am addicted what can I say. I also think in response to your comments on being around drinkers and how you might be missing out on the contact, I can TOTALLY relate to that. I think for myself, I have to get past my attitude to people who drink, to excess or otherwise in a social setting, and concentrate on the social setting. The conversation isnt about AL, after all. I can see myself becoming a real wet blanket. I can be judgemental at the best of times. I am obv not going to jeopardize my sobriety, its such a hard fought for treasure, but I have to some how let others be what they are and not be afraid to be around them because they are drinking. Any hints on that would be most welcome.

Bean, I hear you about the dissapointment of not getting enough support or understanding or even appropriate behavior from friends and fam. I sincerely believe many non AL people just do NOT get it. Not only that but they are maybe afraid and put off by our quitting, because of the stigmatism of mental illness and failure associated with AL dependancy, even thought thats a pile of crap... I am sure both ignorance and fear and laziness all feed into a division between AL and non-AL people. I told my daughters once there were two kinds of people AL and non-AL, and they both dissagreed, and were shocked because they THOUGHT I had a few more dimensions in my thinking than TWO. BWAAA HAA HAAA!

Anyways, enough horse-shite from the mountains today. We are off to see if we can get the canoe into the backwater from my point in the river, as the water is very high. The Columbia usually ROARS into the confluence with the Kootenay here, but because of the high water in the upstream feeding rivers into the Koot, ie. Slocan, McPhie Creek etc, the Columbias current is way down, its lake like on the surface, and we should be able to shoot up the rapids here. Noodle around in the backwater and feed the mosquitoes, then turn and shoot down stream. Dont worry, I will be wearing a good life jacket. Then its off to work on the pond in my Balinesian hot dog stand.

As DG says....One thing is for sure....

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

Bean!! I think I missed you the first time around. And I did read your post and I did have thoughts about it too! I think it is optimal and wonderful and fabulous when family or other significant people in our lives WANT to support us, and are also willing to take ACTION to learn how to support us. However, it doesn't always work out that way. I have been trying really hard at every turn to concern myself only with what I'm doing, and not what is outside of my control - including what other people are or are not doing. I found it really hard at first. But just like not picking up the first drink, it is getting easier with time. Another thing I've come to realize causes me a lot of trouble is passing judgement on others. Big ones, little ones, no judgement on my part is helpful to my sobriety or my life. I've realized recently that every time I feel a resentment (not a feeling I want) - a judgement generally preceeds that. Every time I engage in gossip, which is something that leaves me feeling rotten these days - it's generally preceeded by a judgement. So the minute I feel my mind drifting towards judgements of others, I am really really trying to change the channel right away. Being happy is much better than being right, I am discovering. Anyway....those are the thoughts that came to my mind when you were asking for input.

Bear, whenever that voice starts up in my head "just one.." etc. I KNOW that I need to adjust my thinker. My two main ways of doing that are MWO (read / post) and AA (call someone / read some materials / go to a meeting). My thinker always gives me a huge warning when it wants to engage my drinker. The WORST thing I can do is isolate entirely, or isolate from my sober sisters. (and brothers!) If ever I am thinking "I don't want to log onto MWO" or "I don't want to go to an AA meeting" etc. - that is usually a VERY good sign that I need to log on and/or get to a meeting NOW. Thankfully, these thoughts are almost non-existant these days. Sober time matters (IMO) and is very helpful (IMO) in the mental battle.

Kaz - I hope you have a WONDERFUL time canoeing today! Did I spell that wrong? Probably. There is only one kind of people. Sober ones. Any other ones are ANIMALS!!!!! (JUST KIDDING!) :H :h I'm feeling rather punchy today.

Det - I thought of you as I was chowing on a T-Bone steak for mid-afternoon lunch. Grass fed of course. I hope you can find a way to get some grass fed beef butcherd for you and Dx. I know you would really appreciate and enjoy it!

OK - NOW I'm off to my book. I will not eat ice cream I will not eat ice cream I will not eat ice cream that is all one thing is for sure

DG

[Determinator]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

stupid car. that's all I got to say about that.

[papmom3]

AF Daily Sunday 3 July

most of them are Det. Most of them are. :l

I'm beat. My perennial bed is just about empty save for the tall things. I've decided to keep one peony (gave the other one away) and move it to the front, keep the phlox for now and rescued a loney aster that at one time was part of a huge plant but this spring got smothered. I replanted that in the back of the garden whereas the original plant was in front-nice to see esp. when all the butterflys landed on it but looked out of whack size wise. I just have one more row of junk to dig up and then I can rototill (if I can find one to borrow) or take the pitch fork to the soil and turn it over, amend it with VERY aged and wet manure that has sat in a bucket for over 5 years and then wait for the fall to buy my blueberries etc. Hopefully will get to that tomorrow.

I also drained most of my 30 gal tank that I abandoned in Feb/March. I thought I was super smart and stuck the manual vacuum hose into a short garden hose that I ran through the window and over the porch railing (beats dumping multiple buckets of water). However, I negeleted to make sure the union was OUTSIDE the house, not inside nor did I keep an eye on it. Just a small flood in the living room :H :H. Easily cleaned up with a towel (s) but now I can't get the suction to work anymore as there is only about 3 inches of water left. Will save removing the decorations and rocks for another day and then dumping the water if I can lift the tank up and out the door.

I have no motivation whatsoever to do another darn thing, nor do I feel like cooking. I think I'll have the rest of my breakfast-sauteed veggies and kidney beans mixed with super grain rice from trader joes, eggs and cheese. It was quite good and my own creation!

Bean and Bear-I can't think of one more thing to add to what everyone else has contributed. I know!! And no I"m not sick :H. Keep fighting the good fight and stick tight with us.

Lav!! Silver/Blue! my 2nd favorite combo next to silver/pink!! Can't wait to see it.

DG-now I want ice cream!! Too filthy and tired to go get some tho thank god!!

M3-how ya feeling today?

Kas-hope you had a wonderful canoe trip. I used to love canoeing. Haven't done it in years.

I think I need a cold shower (and no, not because of what you are thinking!). It's really humid here although not that hot. I just feel yucky.
see you all tomorrow.