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    #16
    AF Daily - Tues 7/5

    Hello friends,

    Papmom. I never ever found anything that made the All One palatable. It ruined every smoothie I put it in. I know it is an awesome product, but I just can't do it.

    Took #2 son and a couple of his friends to the 4th of July rodeo by myself last night. Hubby was busy all weekend and helping his mom so he couldn't go. I was a little put out at having to go alone, but I got over it. He asked me if I was mad and I said no, just not too excited about going alone. The boys are at the age they asked me to drop them at the gate as to not be seen with me. It was ok, I found some friends to sit with and was able to keep an eye on both my sons. The fireworks were good. Glad it's over.

    I'm feeling pretty shite this morning. I serve in our church as and "Elder" (even though I'm only 29). This is the local governing body of the church. Anyway, our pastors left in April, and we have to hire an "interim" pastor to fill in and help us find our new "permanent one". After we hired this interim pastor, they had to be approved by the higher ups and then he had to resign his current position. In the mean time he went far far away to his daughter's wedding. So, an announcement was made in church that we've hired an interim, but we can't tell you who it is yet. That was like a month ago! So, I got a phone call from another elder this morning, that she had heard from other people in town who we hired. We haven't told our own congregation, but other churches are talking about it. Well, I feel responsible because I DID tell someone. And then I told someone else because they needed a counselor. I know my mother in law heard me but I told all of them they couldn't tell anyone. My mother in law goes to another church. I do feel bad, but it's not the end of the world, I should have kept my damn mouth shut though. I personally think a month is too long to try to keep a secret like that in a small town like ours. What is done is done. I called the other elder back and told her I may have let the cat out of the bag.
    Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!

    I overslept this morning due to lateness of the rodeo and then of course the boys had to shoot fireworks after...so I better get in gear. Looks like a few days of severe thunderstorms again.
    _______________
    NF since June 1, 2008
    AF since September 28, 2008
    DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
    _____________
    :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
    5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
    _______________
    The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

    Comment


      #17
      AF Daily - Tues 7/5

      hahahahahaa, oh no, the fashion police are coming to get me if I wear the Gman suit in pastel blue/lemon yellow. it looks a tad....metro? let me see if I can put together something more befitting using my questionable sewing skills. ok, I can't freaking sew anything, but my hearts in the right place.

      Moi preggers? the only thing fertile here is my imagination as usual

      Doggygirl my long weekend would have also been one long, tragic painfull waist of life and time and money. whew! i shudder at the thought. yay for AF-ville!

      almond milk is way better than soy milk but why don't you make your own? you can do it much cheaper and when you look at the protein content on the box it's obvious they are not using very many almonds in there! also when you make it yourself you can pre soak the almonds for 24 hours to remove the lectins and make your almond milk MUCH more digestible.

      off to the tire store finally. yeesh!

      zoomba roomba

      be well
      nosce te ipsum
      (Know Thyself)

      Comment


        #18
        AF Daily - Tues 7/5

        Kaslo, I started laughing over your song and thought of "movin' to montana" by frank zappa

        Montana Lyrics by Frank Zappa
        sigpic
        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

        Comment


          #19
          AF Daily - Tues 7/5

          Hi All

          Good for you Jen on weathering the boss's party and I'm also glad that they didn't give you a hard time about the drunken episode. I have just defriended someone on FB who I used to work with 10 years ago (and haven't seen since). Every time he wrote on my wall (and I mean EVERY), he would make some reference to me drinking, swearing or smoking and a few days ago, wrote a whole spiel detailing a drunken night when I didn't behave very well. I think he thinks it's funny or something but I am so over it, I just decided to get rid! It's no secret among close friends and family that I have 'enjoyed' a few too many drinks in the past but I don't need him writing that stuff for other family members, colleagues and new friends to see. Anyway, it was 10 YEARS ago. I think that takes the biscuit for dragging up the past, don't you?!

          I am trying really hard to figure out what is different about my mentality towards AL right now. Because there are times (like now) when being AF seems completely effortless and then other times when the cravings are intense and extremely powerful. I want to be mindful (as opposed to mindless) about how, why and what I am doing or not doing that makes this so - in order to deflect the temptation when it inevitably arises. One thing that is unusual just now is not having a date in the future that I am thinking I'll want to celebrate at. You know...there's always a wedding, birthday, end of school, exam results, it's Wednesday, you're happy... I think I am grateful for the few months AF i have already had as it showed me what it was like to go to all sorts of social functions etc and not drink. I did drink at a wedding in May but it was pretty controlled and I didn't get drunk and now I can easily contemplate another such occasion and the thought of being completely AF. This is good. In the past, there was always something on the horizon (as there always will be) and even if I was committed to being AF in the moment, my brain would be thinking about 2 months down the line and about what and how much I would drink at whatever the event was. Madness.

          Anyway, that's my 2 cents for the day. I have an assignment that I REALLY need to put some work into and have been employing all my very best procrastination techniques! Must get to it.
          Have a great day all
          Bean

          Comment


            #20
            AF Daily - Tues 7/5

            Hi Everyone :new:

            Alcohol is making me crazy, so I'm committing to being AF - hope it's okay to join you here. I've been reading on the site for quite a while but kept trying to moderate. Same old story - can't do it. Alcohol just affects me differently than it used to. I had a pretty bad melt down reaction to something that should have been sad, but not life shattering like it hit me.

            Anyway, thanking you in advance for your support. I see the support and am happy to have found you!

            PS

            Comment


              #21
              AF Daily - Tues 7/5

              Welcome Place Seeker! This is a great bunch here on AF Daily, IMO. I love the support I get here everyday for my AF life! I tried and tried and tried to control my drinking over the course of many years. I just couldn't do it either, and things kept getting worse not better. It was hard to stop drinking altogether, and I didn't get it right on the first try. But here I am and here are all the others too. If we can do it, you can do it too.

              Bean, there are times I'm not surprised by one of those AL thoughts if it's a situation where I might expect it. (i.e. I'm heading into a situation where I used to drink, so the thought of drinking is there). That actually is very rare these days, although of course it happened a lot at first. What is more disconcerting is that these days, an occassional random thought of drinking will pop up at the oddest times. I treat this as a stern reminder that my enemy AL is indeed cunning, baffling and powerful. I really don't know what triggers those seemingly very random occassional thoughts. I just take them as a lesson that I need to always have my guard up. I can never take sobriety for granted. (will also say that I have not felt a "white knuckle" moment in a very very long time. Over a year perhaps?) So...I'm not sure if logic works 100% with this particular foe - at least not the way it's been for me.

              Greenie, your mention of Zappa reminds that I woke up in the middle of the night last night and could not fall back to sleep. So I turned on the tube (I know..I know..) and there was a show on about Jimmi Hendrix. What a one of a kind guitarist he was. His outfits would have really stuck out like a sore thumb in Montana though.

              Det - come on. Admit you have been busted about your Garlic Man suit! I bet you are happy Dx is home now!!!! We do not want to hear the details of your :l_____________:h.

              LVT - I'm glad you ran into some friends at the rodeo! It's funny. Mr. Doggy and I are both very independent spirits and we don't necessarily enjoy the same things - or enjoy them at the same degree. We have settled into a pattern where we do some things together but lots of things separately and I've gotten really OK with that. Allows me to be adventurous (and him too) without having to worry about whether the other one will take an interest. Maybe that will get more comfortable for you too? And your boys won't be teenagers forever...at least I hope not!! :H I am so sorry to hear what happened about the preacher situation. :l

              Kaz. A one-legged man in a butt kicking contest? :H I seriously want to come swim in your pool. And listen to you tell stories all day long.

              Jenny - it's great that you got in lots of swimming, showed off your AF bikini bod, and hung out with whoever was young enough not to be drinkin' and druggin' yet. GOOD FOR YOU. I bet you are really getting a nice tan too.

              I need to get busy and do some work but somehow I still feel like it's holiday weekend.

              DG
              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


              One day at a time.

              Comment


                #22
                AF Daily - Tues 7/5

                Hello AF friends!

                I wanted to drop in and let you all know that I am doing well and still sober. Loving life, minus the computer problems I had at home. Got some sort of virus that wouldn't allow me to log on to the net. So, I had to go in and work from the office for a month. :upset: But now I am back working from home and in the nick of time with Little AFM being on summer holidays.

                Things are good. I am feeling good and starting to work on my inner-self so I don't relapse like I did on April 22nd. Starting to find peace with my dad's passing, and trying to find peace with my tortured relationship with my mother. A work in progress, I am, and it is going forward - so I'm happy.

                My eldest daughter, graduated high school with honours last week. I am so proud of her. She also went to group therapy and her attitude has done a 180. She had a lot of anger with me about my drinking in the past along with just being a teen with low self esteem. She is blossoming into a very fine young lady! She is so much better off than I was at that age. I couldn't be happier for her!!

                I will check in from time to time. Much love to you all! xoxo

                Comment


                  #23
                  AF Daily - Tues 7/5

                  Greenie, I LOVE Frank Zappa. My favorite album is Burnt Weenie Sandwich. He was such a wonderful person. Miss him still.

                  Welcome to Placeseeker. Your name sez it all. I am also relatively new here, and found the perspective here from the 39 year old long time members to be very useful and just a great bunch of people. Or is it 29?

                  I had an episode yesterday where I was very browned off at my husband for spending two weeks wages to buy himself a kayak whist I paid the taxes, and bought the daughter a vacuum cleaner, plus a bunch of other nuisances, and even though I am almost at 6 months, I would have drank every drop of wine in the house if there was still some here, I was so furious. but I got through it using a few mind tricks I learned here. People here have taught me a few things, that is for sure.

                  DG will send private plane when I win the lottery.

                  Love

                  Kas
                  Kaslo

                  Stopped the madness: February 14, 2011
                  Status: Happy:h

                  Comment


                    #24
                    AF Daily - Tues 7/5

                    evening all, still here sober must run x
                    one day at a time

                    Comment


                      #25
                      AF Daily - Tues 7/5

                      Welcome Place Seeker! This is a great bunch here on AF Daily, IMO. I love the support I get here everyday for my AF life! I tried and tried and tried to control my drinking over the course of many years. I just couldn't do it either, and things kept getting worse not better. It was hard to stop drinking altogether, and I didn't get it right on the first try. But here I am and here are all the others too. If we can do it, you can do it too.
                      Thanks Doggygirl - wise words and so helpful to know it can be done.

                      Welcome to Placeseeker. Your name sez it all.
                      And thank you Kas - I am definitely trying to find the right niche for myself - am tired of it revolving around drinking.

                      Strength to us all!

                      PS

                      Comment


                        #26
                        AF Daily - Tues 7/5

                        I missed saying hello to AFM, I wondered how you were. Strength to us all, indeed.
                        Kaslo

                        Stopped the madness: February 14, 2011
                        Status: Happy:h

                        Comment


                          #27
                          AF Daily - Tues 7/5

                          Determined to do it in rehab!

                          Hi, all.

                          Started the rehab program today. Didn't realize that there is nothing scheduled on weekends, but during the week it is from 9:00 until 3:00. Had to meet with psychiatric nurse today, then psychiatrist, then finally got to the last session of the day, but was called out by the social worker who will be working with me this week. Guess the one I'd normally have is on vacation. The room is not so nice--wish i'd brought my own bedding! But I share a bathroom with a woman who has just come over from the detox side after two weeks, and she is similar to me in age and seems nice. Has gone home to get more clothes, etc. and will be back tonight. I will walk to an AA meeting tonight. A couple of times a week they are right at the rehab center. No wireless, though, so had to come to the public library--only a ten minute walk. I have to pay for this myself, so am determined to beat it this time! Talking about my OUI to the nurse, doctor and social worker brought it all back to me. Will have a court date coming up at some point, and have no idea how long I'll be without a license. It's been six weeks now. Just hope it isn't for a year.

                          I'll try to post my progress every day. Have my CDs with me, and have the wonderful support of this group!

                          :thanks:TDN
                          "One day at a time."

                          Comment


                            #28
                            AF Daily - Tues 7/5

                            TDN, I'm just starting out but will look forward to hearing about your experience. I really hope you get some good tools to help you stay sober. Best of luck.

                            PS

                            Comment


                              #29
                              AF Daily - Tues 7/5

                              Kaslo - I allowed my husband to drive me to drink years ago. You can bet you bottom dollar that won't ever happen again!

                              TDN, wishing you the best in your rehab program. I think a person or two here might be able to share some of their experiences with you. What a great chance to make things right

                              For those of you wondering -
                              here's what my room looks like so far. New bed, dresser/mirror & night stand in place. Absolutely nothing on the walls yet & I need to look for a lamp or two, etc. I'm happy with the 'calm blue' walls. They work out well with the silver carpet

                              New Bedroom pictures by elkmills - Photobucket

                              Oh - and there's no mess in there yet either :H
                              AF since 03/26/09
                              NF since 05/19/09
                              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                              Comment


                                #30
                                AF Daily - Tues 7/5

                                Yes, Lavande, I see no mess, very neat and tidy. It looks very soft and soothing. I love the color of the walls. And the dark dresser is a stunner. Botanical prints on the walls, maybe?

                                Kaslo

                                Stopped the madness: February 14, 2011
                                Status: Happy:h

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