Jaunty July - Week 2

[Lavande]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Good morning Jaunters & Happy Humpday!

My plan for the day is work this morning, meeting 2 girl friends for lunch then my daughter & Lily here for dinner - busy

I have gotten quite far behind on outside chores like weeding the veggie garden & flower beds because of the excessive heat & humidity. I get out there & try but en up dripping in sweat & attracting bugs within 5 minutes - ugh So, the weeds will stay put!!

Star, my friends son has managed to complicate his life (and his parent's lives) in everyway possible. At this point the kid is covered from head to toe in tatoos, has a combined drug & AL addiction, has just been released from jail, has a 6 year old daughter who lives with her mother (thank God)..........the list goes on & on. As far as I know he has no job right now & I don't even know where he is living. My friend was sure that she didn't want him back in her home because he is helpless & won't change his behavior. She is out some big $$ paying lawyer fees, court fees, etc. for him & he refuses to learn. He was jailed recently for DUI & non-payment of child support. It's a pathetic situation because my friend believes that one way or the other her son will be dead soon.
I'm sorry to tell you all that & I hope the future is brighter for your son. As parents all we can do is the best we can do......the rest is up to them!

Chill & Rustop, hope you are both having a wonderful AF Wednesday

Have a good day all!
Lav

[sdlovespackers]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Good Morning!
Chill--I thought I had read somewhere that you had read the Allen Carr book and you thought it had made an impact on your thought process. It was good and honestly made sense...kinda of repetitive, but that was probably ok...I probably needed to be told more than once for things to sink in!! HA!

Lav-I really do think my mind set has turned a corner. Like I stated previously, I'm not sure if it was the last time I drank (which I was alone painting in my house) or these awesome books that have really grabbed me?? WHatever, I'll take it. I see me counselor tomorrow again...I really want to work hard with her the rest of the summer to hopefully get at the root of "why" I choose to drink....among other (many) issues I'm sure I have..lol!!!!

Rusty--I thought about all you SO many times!!!! Wondering how everyone is doing. Often times I would just pop on and do a little reading to see if everyone was still around...always made me feel good to know that you were!! PLUS...we're getting close to football starting up again..gotta have someone to cheer with!! :l

Star, Rustop, Dew--These 30 days really have flown by...I can't wait to get them under my belt!! I think it will be a month on the 18th...I'd have to check for sure actually....It will be 4 weeks (if that makes sense) on Saturday...that I know for sure! I always thought this would be so hard in the summer...EXCUSES!!!!!!! ALthough, honestly I do worry about the stress of my job when I return to work....last year REALLY REALLY took a toll on me...the most horrible year I've ever had in 15 years in education!! Hopefully with new administration, it will all be so much better...and WAY MORE POSITIVE!!!! Thanks for all your positive thoughts and comments....I better go get my son ready for his baseball game!

Happy Wednesday to all (and to anyone else I may have missed)....Mr. G, thank you for your warm welcome back as well!!
SD

[Chillgirl]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Evening guys

I'm feeling a liitle bluesy today, I let my mind wander back to my lovely cottage in Portugal, thoughts of how I'd be enjoying late night swims by now and evenings on the terrace listening to the crickets. My beautiful country walks with Elle, yoga by the pool and the wonderful solitude I loved so much. Boy is life different now, I hardly have time to breathe, it's 11pm and I have only just sat down and really should be in bed. I'm up at 6am and won't get home tomorrow until 9pm. I guess I've been filling up my time to avoid having these thoughts and it has worked to keep me away from the dark side of the moon.
Even although my mind went there today, I'm not down about it. I have reach total acceptance but I guess being human a little sadness is to be expected. I miss my old life so much, I miss my home, my big brass bed and I even miss the noisy peacock who used to wake me in the morning. All I have here is the screeching of seagulls.....

Anyway no time for tears, tomorrow will be ultra busy and Mr B gets back from his business trip in time to take me to a great little bistro on the harbor on Friday for dinner.
No used arguing with reality... You only loose 100% of the time. The Universe has other plans for me, living a solitary life in the sun was not the path I'm supposed to be on, I guess it's kinda exciting wondering how it's all going to turn out.......

Happy humpback day

[papmom3]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Aw Chill, you made ME sad with your reminiscing! And I've never even seen your place in Portugal! It just sounded so lovely BUT it was also laiden with unhappy memories of your ex and drinking and uncertainty as to what would become of you, right? I think you're spot on that the Universe has some big plans for you and it's so exciting being a part of your journey, even if we are just virtual flies on the wall! Keep on Truckin' Chill!

Still no word from Job #2a. Of course I'm thinking all these horrible thoughts-she didn't like me; she brought in her own person; I'm going to have to stay in this horrible job forever; I'm going to lose my house and on and on. The funny thing is that even tho I feel so blue right now and hopeless, I don't want a drink. I thought about how the wine would taste and it held no interest for me. All I could think about was the heartburn, headache and extreme fatigue it would bring me. I guess that's a good thing. So, B&J it is. I hate this being in limbo thing. I just want to know, yea or nea. Then at least I can plan what my next step is.

SD-I'm so glad you're back with us. I'm really excited for you and your change in thinking. Please stay with us from now on OK?

Rustop-can't wait to find out where you chose to go on holiday!! I'll google it and pretend I can go too :H

Rusty-how's your trip going today? Hope your client has stopped annoying you so much. He's worth it right?

Dew-I am so impressed with your meditation skills! I just can't keep my mind quiet so I end up giving up. I bet it would help me tremendously if I could just quiet the chatter.

Hey Star and Sped-how goes it today?

Anyone I missed?

Lav-did you have a good lunch with the girls?

[Lavande]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Yes papmom, I always have a good lunch with the girls, thanks for asking!
We've worked together & watched each other's kids grow up. graduate from college, get married, have their own kids.......it's like family I guarantee you they know more about me & my kids than my brothers do.

SD, I wondered if the job BS had gotten to you. I remember you talking quite a bit about the problems there. I sure hope for your sake that things change drastically. Put your quit date in your signature line so you never forget

Chill, I think we've both been forced (one way or the other) to continue our life's journey in ways we never imagined. Honestly, when I'm busy i don't sweat it much but when I have down time I start remembering the past & get nervous about the future.......all stuck that we have no control over

Dewdrop & papmom - I like the guided meditations on chopra.com & I have some CDs that I like.

papmom, go to Pandora & tune in calm/meditation music & just play it quietly in the background whenever you're on your computer. I had my laptop tuned in the whole 3 days I was painting recently & it was really nice

Time to say Good Night all!
Lav

[rustop61]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Good morning everyone

Had a lovely summer's day yesterday which was nice. One of my daughters had friends over for a BBQ last night and it was the first night any of us sat out on the patio all summer (ok patio heater was on but thats essential in Ireland unless we have a heat wave!). It's no wonder you miss Portugal Chill, the cold and damp get into your bones here at times. However, when we left Montreal, what I missed most was the snow and the skiing. I guess we all miss what we dont have.

Papmom - keeping fingers crossed regarding the job. The waiting is the worst. My choice of sun spot will be wherever I get a cheap flight to for a few days. Going to wait till tomorrow and if I have not heard from US will book then.

Lav - you are lucky to have such a good group of friends around you. Just being nosy, dont answer if you dont want to but did you ever discuss your drinking with them? None of my friends guess that I have a problem with Al. I have a very good friend who I walk with and I share most things with her but know she is very judgemental regarding Al so I would never mention it.

Star - Hope things have improved with your son. Being a parent is not easy, hand in there.

Everyone else big hello and have a great day.

Rustop

[Stargazerlily]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Good morning all...

Rustop, I am watching the news and they showed some film of London, it was dark and gloomy looking. Yikes. How fun to have a barbecue.

Lav, thanks for sharing with me. That young man is an addict, plain and simple, with all the usual problems that accompany that. Ha, am I judgemental or what? My son is not an addict, just an idiot, and selfish and immature too. Have not heard from him and I hope he leaves us alone for a time. I am really enjoying the peace, clean and calm in my home. He does not realize, I don't miss him one bit. I wish him well, but do not want him back in my house. However, we can't always get what we want.

Chill, of course you will miss your beautiful home, memories of warmth and the ability to take it easy, relax, swim.....who wouldn't. It was kind of like being on vacation all the time. But, reality intrudes. Now you are super busy, wouldn't it be nice to be able to work part-time? Sending you suppport and understanding.

Papmom, I understand the concerns about waiting to hear about the job. I hope it works out the way you want.

Sending encouragement to SD and Sped. To all, a lovely AF Thursday.

[Lavande]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Hello Jaunters,

I cannot believe the temp dropped into the upper 50's last night - where did that come from???
Was able to sit out on the deck last evening, do some moon watching without sweat pouring off me.

Rustop, I do have good friends & they know everything there is to know about me
I appreciate their non-judgmental support, don't know what I would do without them!
Hope you find somewhere nice to go on vacation.

Star, my friend's son does indeed have every possible problem going on but it's all been his choosing. It's sad because his mother bent over backwards to get him the approprite help 7 guidance. I hope your son finds his way, anything is possible

Well, time to get some things done. Wishing everyone a terrific AF Thursday!
Lav

[Dewdrop]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Late post - Well thank goodness tomorrow is Friday and the start of the weekend, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for good weather but the forecast is not good... again?? What is happening to our summer it really stinks so far? And reading all the posts it seems it’s not that great across the globe either. I often try and keep a week off for October in Scotland because that is often a lovely month and the trees are turning bronze and the autumnal scenery is beautiful. I like to go hillwalking before the harsher, colder weather settles on the hills because you really need a lot of experience to be safe on them.

Rustop thank you for asking and I am trucking along okay with my treatments, I don’t think I will be fully comfortable and happy with the situation but I am resigned to the fact that I need them and they are, in fact, saving my life. That sounds a bit melodramatic but I have discovered 3 family friends who didn’t go to their doctor for ages who now have secondaries and their prospects are not good. I am still working on my attitude and acceptance , however these are early days and I do need to be kind to myself - why is that so difficult to do? Hey and my prognosis is good!! Star :l my thoughts are with you.

P3 I have to say my meditation is the one thing that grounds me and keeps me on the straight and narrow and probably the skill I appreciate and love the most. However, I know it’s not for everyone and it does take a while to really get into. It is not something you can teach yourself (in my opinion) and I would definitely recommend a week meditation course if that’s possible, or even a weekend, so that you can really learn all the techniques and carry them forward. Guided cd’s help and support that and a meditation group is also a fantastic tool to tap into. It has definitely stopped the chatter in my mind and I can stop and relax myself in times of stress, although I do still have times when I go into overdrive but they are fewer and farther between. I meditate every day at some point and if I can’t I really feel deprived, I really feel it helps keep my sanity in this mad world we live in.

Dewdrop :h

[papmom3]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Hey Dew-I'm very glad you are seeking acceptance for your condition and the treatment and to hear your prognosis is good! Are you looking into any real life support groups?
Thank you for the info on meditation. I did a lot of thinking today as I tried not to fall into the pit on stinkin' thinkin' about this job thing or lack of action. My mind would not stop, my body was antsy and I think I know why I drank for all those years and why now I eat. I'm looking to turn off the chatter and to quiet my body. I need to find a substitute for the drinking and eating. Some people run-not sure my body is built for that but I won't rule it out. Some people meditate. Some people do yoga. etc etc. Meditation is very handy as you can do it anytime, anywhere. So, I need to look into that and soon. I won't go back to drinking but I can't keep eating the way I am at the moment. Whether or not I get this job isn't the problem. It's how I deal with stress, uncertainty, or any myriad of things that life is made up of.

Hugs to all who need them and please know that I love you all. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have this site to come to every day. For 10 min or 30 min, my mind quiets down and that is priceless!!

[Chillgirl]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Good morning jautaroonies, its Friday!

Papmom - hugs right back at you :l I hope you hear about the job today, can you perhaps call her? Say you wanted to know how things stood before going into the weekend. I totally understand the eating and drinking for comfort. I still eat compulsively when I'm unhappy, I will eat a whole 300g box of chocolates till I feel sick of an entire pack of cookies. Luckily because I'm more in tune now with my body I hate the sugar hangover so don't do it so often. But when I do I go through the self loathing afterwards the same as I did when I was hungover. I've tried at analyze the why of of this and all I can come up with is that Im an easy addict. I smoked for year too although despising it at the same time. The good news is I have learned that I can be addicted to good things too, like exercise and healthy eating, checking the contents of everything I eat. Channelling the compulsions to being tidy and organized and going through certain spiritual rituals. I think Dewdrops idea of a meditation course would be great. I have been on numerous retreats and now find I can meditate alone although I prefer guided ones like the chopra centre which Lav mentioned. I wish they would run another of their 30 day courses which is a great way to get into the habit.

Dewdrop - the weather down here has been beautiful all week but the rain is due today and to last the whole weekend :upset: I have Monday off as a holiday for Glasgow fair and it would have been wonderful to get out and enjoy a few days in the fresh air. I had provisionally planned to sail over to Cumbria tomorrow and cycle round the island but won't go if it rains. Being tough on ourselves is another habit we must learn to break, I would never be so harsh to people I care about as I am to myself. Self love is where we must start though and it will be an ongoing lesson for life. Sending you loving kindness.

Lav - I miss the moon too! I used to watch it every night on my last dog walk, it's usually too cloudy to see it here.

Star - I hope you are feeling better, upset at home has a horrible impact on our nervous system. Im wishing you some peace and relaxation over the weekend.

A shout out for everyone else to check in and say hi. Rusty are you still in your Chateau or are you heading home?

[rustop61]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Hi everyone

I too can identify with the overeating, sugar binging. Still do it sometimes but am getting better. Papmom - I highly recommend doing a meditation course. I did a 6/7 week course during the winter and I find that even though I have not had time to meditate every day or do the yoga/body scan my thinking has changed. Instead of worrying/obsessing about things in the future I just live in the here and now. This is a huge change for me. I plan to go back doing it when things settle down at the end of the summer.

Chill - We had the most amazing moon the last few nights. Weather is not promised very good here for week-end but keeping fingers crossed as daughter has show on Sunday. Your plans sound great for week-end and even if you dont get to go to the Island and cycle, you can always put on the waterproofs and wellies and get outside.

Have to bring my daughter to a horsey shop for stuff she needs so have to go. Hope everyone has a great week-end.

Rustop

[Lavande]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Greetings Jaunters!

Did a little moon viewing myself last night. The full moon always causes me so much angst but it wasn't as bas as usual this time.......so I guess that's good :H

I have work to get to but first I'm going to take advantage of Maxie being out of the house & get some vacuuming done. The dog hair is disgusting. She's out with my son-in-law on a dog training job this morning. He uses her as the 'distraction' dog for the trainee :H

papmom, send me your address, I have a good CD to share with you - you'll love it
Believe, I knolw all about the frantic mind chatter!!!!

Dewdrop, good to know you are progressing well

Hello to chill & Rustop & all of the missing Jaunters. It may be time to send out a search party

Have much dog hair to vacuum!
Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!

Lav

[sdlovespackers]

Jaunty July - Week 2

Morning All!!
I've been so busy popping in and reading up on some other threads (which I don't think I ever did in the past)...I'm not sure I posted here yesterday!:H
Yesterday I went to see my counselor again...although I really liked my last one, I think this one really pushes issues more and is much more direct...which I need!! She said she doesn't have a concern about my drinking but since I seem so concerned about it she thinks its good I'm avoiding AL right now. I thought this was a funny comment for her to make, because the doctor that wanted me to see her (the Psychiatrist) seemed like he was one phone call from wanting to admit me to a 30 day program??? Maybe they haven't spoke?? I saw the Psy. yesterday too...he asked me if the counselor and I had come up with a plan...I told him that before I had even seen her I came up with a plan and that on Saturday I would have 4 weeks sober....went through my plan....all he did was smile, close his folder, said he was happy for me and said he'd see me in 4 more more weeks??? WEIRD!!!
I know that dr has no reason to believe me when I say things feel different or that I know I can do this...hes heard it before...I guess it doesn't matter what he thinks...I know how I feel. I knew he didn't believe me one bit. I think normally I would be discouraged by that...but honestly, I really don't give a flying crap what anyone thinks....I'm not doing this for him or my counselor or anyone else, but me!! I'm the only one that has to believe I can do it and I do!!
Sorry about my little rant/vent...guess I was a little bugged about that!:H
Hope everyone is having a FABULOUS FRIDAY!!!! I need to learn more about this meditation/yoga you all talk about...DEW--where can you take those courses???
Well--off to another baseball game and then onto the lake for the weekend---it's only suppose to be like 90 degrees here with like 95% humidity!!!!!! YUCK!!!!!!!
PEACE!
SD

[papmom3]

Jaunty July - Week 2

thanks Lav-just PM'd you. I need this! Just got a call from mechanic-$600 bill due today and I only can scrape up $250 by depleting my savings account and maxxing out my credit limit on my new CC. Hopefully Dad can front me the $250 which is on top of the $100 I owe him for car payments the last 2 months. Might have to sell the Paphut but will wait until I hear definitively from job #2a.