AF Daily - Monday July 18

[Doggygirl]

UP AND AT 'EM FABBIES!!!! IT'S MONDAY!!!!! :b&d: No rest for the wicked!

Hot pepper flakes in the chard sounds like the perfect addition to Pappin' Pink Garlic Man's recipe. Thanks Lav! So is YB going to pay someone else to mow the grass? I hope so.

Lots of changes going on here. In addition to the possibility of school for me, it looks like we are finally going to close on rental property #1 on Friday. Can't recall if I mentioned that. Mr. Doggy's parents always had rental property so that is a __________________ (business? lifestyle? PIA?) that he is very comfortable with. I have already stated that I will do book keeping and that is all! Anyway, it's a foreclosure. The bank accepted our very low offer. :egad: It's in bad shape - copper pipes gone, somebody had a little bonfire in one of the bedrooms, etc. We expect to put $20 - 30,000 into it to make it habitable, but still be way ahead (even at todays prices). So it seems it should be a good investment in the long run. Mr. Doggy has a client that is mentoring him - this guy is a real success story in rentals. The new sober me is not worried about this. The old drunken me would have been climbing out of my skin with fear and worry. Life is good!

I woke up very early this morning (but slept well until that poitn!). I was laying in bed just thinking about how far I have come mentally. I was such a frustrated and angry and sad person before. And always looking for somebody to blame. Always angry and resentful towards ....well, anyone from family to strangers could be a target. The future seemed like one big dark cloud. I am SO GRATEFUL to be living in a more positive and hopeful mode today. There are still bad days where the mojo is gone. But they are so rare compared to days of old. It has taken effort to re-train my thought patterns. And I'm still working on it. (especially the part about not getting angry at strangers while driving LOL :H) Well worth the effort.

Sobriety rocks. That is all. One thing is for sure. I will not be drinking today, and I WILL be calling the admissions office in just a few more hours.

DG

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

Morning DG and all you fabarinos to come!

Thanks for the start, DG, I wondered what happened with the slumlord oops I mean house rental thing was going. :H Good on ya for setting that boundary clearly from the get-go. Lucky mr doggy has mentor!

And how true, the drama we created and then led into the negative abyss of our drinking life. Becoming AF is like finding a beautiful oasis in the desert. Or so I imagine anyway.

I posted a kale recipe. I think ya'll will like it. Re the swiss chard. I love to have it steamed over some quinoa and topped with a poached egg and hummus thinned with some fresh lemon juice and water. I leave the stemmy part in the swiss chard, cutting off the bottom only.

My back is better this AM and I too slept well.

Jenny, glad you posted yesterday, although I must say this confused me:
"I am struggling so I haven't been posting. I'm really quite happy right now."
Struggling is a happpy place?

P3, I hope your job phone call brings you what you want!

Last night I had peaches & blueberries with yogurt and a bit of agave nectar.... better than ice cream!

OK, bracing for this weeks drought and 100 degree heat wave. The heat index is always higter. Ugh!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

Hi Greenie aka Hot Sexy X-SpiderMama. Your kale recipe is uncooked? You must have much softer kale than I've had!! What I have been getting is really firm and tough. It's good when steamed to smithereens. :H Does the olive oil / lemon dressing soften it up in that 5 minutes? Or maybe that toughness is an acquired taste? (I really am pathetic when it comes to greens!)

Yes Jenny - not exactly sure where you are at. You know we will always be here if you decide drinking really isn't something you want to do.

I just saw the Hazelden reading of the day - more cosmic coincidence, just like the Christmas theme yesterday. :H

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Enjoying the Good Days

Good feelings can become a habitual part of our life. There is absolutely no virtue in the unnecessary suffering many of us have felt for much of our life. We don't have to allow others to make us miserable, and we don't have to make ourselves miserable.

A good day does not have to be the "calm before the storm." That's an old way of thinking we learned in dysfunctional systems. In recovery, a good day or a good feeling doesn't mean we're in denial. We don't have to wreck our good times by obsessively searching for or creating a problem.

Enjoying our good days doesn't mean we're being disloyal to loved ones who are having problems. We don't have to make ourselves feel guilty because other people aren't having a good day. We don't have to make ourselves miserable to be like them. They can have their day and their feelings; we can have ours.

A good feeling is to be enjoyed. More than we can imagine, good days are ours for the asking.

Today, I will let myself enjoy what is good. I don't have to wreck my good day or good feeling; I don't have to let others spoil it either.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

A little pearl in there for me was not feeling guilty if I am having good mojo, but someone close to me is not. Somehow, I always feel guilty, or like I need to join in the sadness, etc. Especially if that sadness is justified. (i.e. my Dad who is so sad and afraid and sick)
Always more to work on - what a wonderful opportunity!

DG

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

DG, kales have diff varieties. This recipe is for raw, but it has to be that particular kind - black or lacinato kale.

Breakfast is served.........




The 2 fig trees (on either side of the crepe myrtle) are around 15 feet tall, to give you an idea of HOW MANY FIGS there are!

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

This is killer on some greens, and I don't like many greens. Balsamic Vinegar with Maple Syrup - $12.00 : Bittersweet Herb Farm, Re-defining Dining Since 1983

[AAthlete]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

Morning guys and happy Monday to all! Thanks for starting us off DG, and I love that Hazelden message. Not allowing others (or myself) to make myself miserable was (and still is) my biggest challenge, and it took a lot of letting go to get to a point I found my 'happy medium...'

Good luck on the rental place - sounds like a helluva lot of work - will you guys be using contractors to do all of that? Busy weekend for me between training rides/runs and house projects, but it always feels good to build a little sweat equity in myself and my home! Hope everyone has a great day!

[Treya]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

Hi All,
Thanks to everyone for all the support on my original thread but now I think I'll post on here to make things simpler.
Wow, I've made it to day seven!
Just been to the hospital for a procedure I was dreading but it was painless. It's amazing how much negativity we carry around in stupid thoughts and all for nothing at times.
Feeling very lively today -it must be the healthy food regime kicking in.
Did someone say there was a recipes section? I'd love to have a look.
Best news of all-my other half who enjoys his red wine as much as I do-has decided to join me on no al this month and is currently making some homemade soup. He volunteered this himself and so I couldn't be more delighted. We can support each other hopefully.

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

Good Morning Abbies... IS THAT A FIG??? So cool. Nice photos as well. Its 5 something here and I have to gear up and get out to the truck. Everyone have a great AF day.

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

'Absolutely no virtue in unecessary suffering' - I like that statement

Good morning Abbers!

Taking my girls (daughter & Lily) to the Brandywine River Museum today
Something fun & different. I haven't been there since my kids were little & took them to see the train display at Christmas time........

Hello to everyone & wishes for a great AF Monday!
Lav

[momof3]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

Good Morning Fabber Abbers,

DG, I was struck by your post about how your life was full of negativity when you were drinking. Mine too. I recall waking up every moring feeling just awful--physical symptoms from drinking and just feeling so ashamed and emotionally drained. What a horrilbe way to start each day, huh? Now, I wake up bright and early and look forward to the possibiities in my day. I'm happy that life is unfolding for you in such great ways and that you are exploring new possibilities.:goodjob:

Greenie, Wow, you have some incredible healthy recipes. Keep posting please. I love the Kale recipe and the blueberry yogurt. Yum Yum. Happy to hear that your back is feeling a little better. How about the mojo factor?

Lav, Happy to hear that you are getting out and about with your girls.

Jenny, Thanks so much for posting to let us know that you are okay. I appreciate your honesty. If you look at my MWO join date, you will see that it took me a full year of attempting to moderate before I finally realized that I could not do it any more (and I had a series of quitting/relapses for about 2 years prior to that). My life was going down the toilet and I felt so badly about myself. I initially quit for my children's sake because I did not want them to grow up with memories of a mother who always had wine on her breathe and who was not fully present for them. Then quitting was eventually for me.:l

Hey Treya. Glad you are here and that you are doing well. Just hold onto your memories of those positive feelings during the times when you might have an urge to drink. So wonderful that your OH is supporting you in this. Yes, there is a recipe section. Look around on the site. Healthy food, supplements, and exercise are important staples of my sobriety.

P3 Let us know how your call turns out.

Loppy--Congrats for making it through a tough weekend without drinking!!!!

Later
M3

[jennyneric]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

Good Morning! Let me explain. I am struggling with not drinking, meaning I am drinking, not everyday though. Last week it was just Friday, this week Friday and Saturday so I recognize progression. Also I was affected by drama this weekend, there is always drama but it doesn't affect me as much when I'm AF. When I say I'm happy I mean the AL has not depressed me yet, however this morning I am feeling a bit weepy. I know y'all are here for me, I just feel like a lair. I keep saying its the end and its not. Other than that I don't really feel bad about the drinking. P3 you asked if I'm trying to mod. . . no I'm not trying to mod, I can't mod, I'm just drinking. I know it's only a matter of time till I'm in trouble again unless I stop drinking, once I start I can't control it. I'm just so tired with all the family drama and the work and the school and the lack of help with house chores I just don't know if I can fight one more thing. I know the no drinking has to come first but how do I tell all that other stuff that it is last? It's all important stuff that I want to do too. Grrrr, I didn't drink last night and I won't drink during the week but by drinking on the weekend I am just wasting it! I drink 8oz of vodka every time I drink, enough to get drunk, not enough to make you puke or do stupid things, just barley though. Thanks for listening.

[momof3]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

Hey Jen,

I know first hand that the Summer can be challenging when you have kids at home. I feel as if my house is always a mess and I am often find myself running interference with kids fighting, etc. All the while meeting my work obligations.

From my experience, drama became much less of an issue once I had some sobriety behind me. I'm not as reactive or attracted to it. What I used to call drama is now a typical life challenge that I am facing; some of them being much more difficult than others. It is how "normies" live their lives and those of us who cope by drinking alcohol have to learn new ways of coping.

And, for me, quitting alcohol had to absolutely become the #1 priority...it was the only way. Once it was, everything else fell into place.

Thinking of you and offerring you :l Do be very careful and don't stray too far away.

M3

[momof3]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

Hello to AA!! Yes, a little sweat equity is a great thing!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

((((Jenny)))) I'm so glad you came here to post what you are going through. This journey is rarely, if ever, as straight forward as "well, I'm not going to drink any more!" and then VOILA - it's easily done and we move on. I kept drinking LONG after I knew I didn't want to any more, but couldn't seem to stop. I also understand how much energy DRINKING requires, and also how much energy STOPPING DRINKING requires. Either way it can feel like a monumental load, especially when the rest of life demands time and attention too.

All I can say Jenny is that in my own life, it has been worth every bit of effort it took to get through that most difficult early time. It's not always that hard - not even close. As you pointed out - you know where this viscious cycle will lead. I give you a ton of credit for being honest with yourself about that, rather than thinking something is going to miraculously turn out different. Mean time, please be careful, OK? It only takes one bad drunk for lives to be changed radically.

I'm off (late) to volunteer and then to go to the community college to try to register. Got the chargeback form in my inbox a couple minutes ago!!! :yougo:

DG

[momof3]

AF Daily - Monday July 18

Doggygirl;1149138 wrote: ((((Jenny)))) All I can say Jenny is that in my own life, it has been worth every bit of effort it took to get through that most difficult early time. It's not always that hard - not even close. DG

Ditto what DG said. It was so worth the effort it to stop drinking...for me and for my family and friends. Because it was not only me who was suffering from my drinking; they were too.

And, it is not really that hard once you put a stake in the ground and say to yourself, "this is it, I am not going to drink anymore." The more sobriety I got behind me, the better I felt and the more I could experience all that life has to offer without drinking. There does come a point when you wonder, "Why would I ever drink again?"

Woot!!! Woot DG!!!! Onward to your next life adventure!!!!

M3