T.O.T.M. to you all
I was just thinking yesterday how dependency is slightly different for all of us.
For some the initial few hours/ weeks/days are really taxing. For others it's the middle -when you've gotten through the rough stuff and the seeds of doubt creep in - and for others still it's having gotten throug the first few months and staying sober that's the hardest.
For me, initial stopping has never been that hard but it's sustaining the sobriety that I haven't cracked (YET!)
I guess that's why there's a wise saying "Anyone can stop drinking. Staying stopped is another story."
But somehow this time I feel different. I'm ready for the attacks of the vapours, the "Do I really want this enough?" conversations that I'm prone to have with myself. I'm ready for the "You're not DRINKING?" comments I get from 'friends' who look at me as if I've just come of the space shuttle. I'm ready for the "I've had enough of this sobriety crap" after a few months when I've had a bad day. I'm sick of those negative thoughts.
I know the thoughts will come. I am ready and I'll deal with them as they arise, neither judging them or myself for having them. The witness in me will observe them and let them go. No matter how tough the day is-it is only a day and everything passes. I will let the drama pass and I'll remain sober, with hope, getting stronger and stronger by the day.
Have a wonderful day abstainers!
Treya
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