AF Daily - Sunday July 31

[Doggygirl]

Up and at 'em fABbies!

I am glad to be sober and unhungover today! Hope you other fABbies are too.

I am officially ready for winter. This summer has been so hot and humid. Yesterday was considered a "nice" day in the high 80's and pretty humid feeling to me. I'm just exhausted by it. I really don't care about my garden or anything outdoors for that matter! Whew. Glad to get that off my chest.

Not sure what will be on my agenda today besides a trip to the farmers market and the Egg Man. But whatever it is, it will probably be mostly indoors.

One thing is for sure..

DG

[Treya]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Marking???

Treya - I'm so glad you decided to come here and post that you are struggling today. I dont' know if you did this, but my M.O. is to try to cover up bad days/feelings, pretend all is OK and stuff everything. AL was a total part of that cover up. Being honest really helps me get in touch with the real me!!!! It has been quite a shocker for me to discover that "real life" involves good days and bad days, and that I don't really have to find a way to "pretend" (aka soak a bad day in AL). I hope your day gets better.

Good Morning all,

DG, you have NO idea how well this fits with what I used to do. It's me to a capitalT.
I have a habit of reinventing the past so that every day was a sunny day and glossing over the bad ones as if they didn't exist. But no more. I've learned my lessons. Life comes in good bad and indifferent days and as you say booze helps with none of em.
PS I got through it. I even went out for a meal with the other half last night and neither of us drank any A. It was an eon since that happened. Can't believe how he's supporting me. What have I to complain about?

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Treya, that is awesome you are getting support from your OH. I am very blessed in that regard as well.

Learning how to just sit with whatever feelings I'm having, and then let them go is quite a work in progress.

I hope your day today is better! But even if it's not, isn't it great to know that things will be OK.

DG

[universal]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Hi guys!

A great day yesterday and another one today. Have friends coming up today - they know that it is an alcohol free trailer and they are totally cool with it. Nice to have friends that understand.

Last night they did "new years eve" at the park with a dance and stuff. I told my BF that if he wanted to have a couple of beers it was okay with me. And you know what? It really was. He only had 2 and even though my other friends were drinking it didn't bother me at all because they all know I'm in recovery. I am finding that you really know who your true friends are if you tell them you are in recovery and they respect it. We had a lot of fun and this morning when BF left to go to work he took the last beer in the fridge and said "please know I'm not doing this because I don't trust you because I know one beer won't do anything for you - but I do know it would be a warmup so I would rather not give you any temptation at all because you are doing so well right now". For that he got a big kiss and a thank you for understanding hug.

I'm tired because I was up early to head him out the door and I tried but I cannot get back to sleep. Oh well. I guess I should tidy up for my guests. Day 59 here today, feels awesome. No desire at all right now and enjoying life! Love it!

Prayers to all that are having a hard time.

Uni

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Uni, honesty is such a relief, isn't it? I didn't realize how exhausting it was to try to keep secrets, manipulate what other people think of me, blah blah blah until I stopped trying to do all that. And indeed - we do know our true friends by who will accept our truths and love us anyway! :l Good that BF is very supportive AND very practical.

A couple weeks ago (after the ODouls stinkin' thinkin' episode!) Mr. Doggy and I were talking. I hadn't really noticed one way or the other, but there is never any beer left here after dog training. He told me he tells people to take it with them. He's not biting his nails worried I will relapse. He just figures there is no reason to have beer in our fridge, and I agree.

There was a time when I would have been offended if he told me that. I would have had a huge reaction like "DON'T you TRUST ME??????" I'm glad I can be calm now and not take his wisdom as a personal insult! :H

Have a good day with your friends Uni!

DG

[universal]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

I agree DG - just no reason to have it around. Why even give yourself the potential temptation?

I also am not afraid anymore to tell anyone that I am in recovery. What they think of me is really not my business and to be honest, I don't care anymore. What i think of myself is what's important. So if they judge, well F them, they don't understand. That's how I look at it now.

I really have found that the last program really worked for me. My mindset is completely different now. And I love it! :l

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Good morning you early rising Abbers :H

Hello DG, Treya & Uni! Hot flashes tried to push me out of bed at 5:30 & 6:30 but I stayed put & let the ceiling fan & AC cool me down I had my HRT increased last week so hopefully it will kick in at some point ~ tiresome

The rumor is that the temp is going to 92 today but with lower humidity. I hope so because I am seriously tired of this summer as well. I'm done with the garden as well, pulled the bean plants last night. I'll pick more tomatoes as they ripen but that's it!!

I have no other plans for the day but I should be dealing with YB later. Wait until he sees how shabby looking the grass is here. He's not likely going to be able to cut it so I'm going to plant the idea in his head that he needs to find & pay someone to do it - it''s not in my budget.

Wishing everyone a good AF Sunday!
Lav

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Good day, eh? Enthusiastic nod to DG, Treya, Uni, Lav. Its a lovely cool morning here, and blue sky too. Lav, I too am undergoing the blessed Change as they call it. Have been since 2009. I think its different for me because I dont live in a hot humid climate. But I still get a baking at least a couple times a day. I am glad that Uni and Treya are getting the support they need, its vital. Well, it just makes it so much easier. I wouldnt say I havent had support, its just that my H doesnt believe I had a problem and doesnt think I needed to quit. I KNOW i needed to stop, because it was making me sick, and there was a time when I drank too much. Granted that was 12 - 15 years ago, but still. Im done, but not for the same reasons most people have here. DGirl, thanks for your kind words re champaigne. Two sips doth not a sudden exit from ye wagone make, but it did satiate my curiousity about if I still liked the taste of it. I dont like the taste of it, that much is clear.

So my exiting news is I was paid recently, and bought a new Rav 4 for my H, a little toyota SUV that is like a station wagon. Its gonna be great, gets here in two weeks, probably when I am in the arctic, but still. IJM YES I did try it off road when I test drove it. Half the roads here are off roads, rocky, washed out and steep, so yeah. Did well.

AND even MORE exciting, I also got myself a kayak! yesterday tried a couple different ones, at Helmans on the lake east of Nelson, and found I liked the inflatable one the best, so I have one that goes in a box, and so when I go on my next holiday jaunt some where, i am taking my kyak with me. Meanwhile, I am packed to go up to Nancy Green Lake this morning for the maiden voyage. I inflated it in the front hall last night, just to see if I could put it together myself and it is waiting for me down there. It fits in the back of my truck pretty good. I have ortho issues from the arse down, two hip replacements, a major knee surgery and ankle surgery, so my legs are not flexible for getting in and out. I have to work on that!! Got quite wet basically rolling out into the shallow water yesterday. So off we go this morning. Will post a pix of this for sure.

Everyone have a lovely AF day. I will as well.

kaslo, of the lake.

[momof3]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Good Morning Fabber Abbers's

Returned from the beach with my 2 youngest girls late last night. We had an incredible 3 days. Weather and waves were gorgeous!! We spent 7 hours on the beach on Friday and 6 hours on Saturday. The girls were in the water almost the entire time. Lots of sunscreen and no sunburns! I alternated between water and underneath my beach umbrella....taking no chances after my melanoma scare last year.

Treya, I started drinking at 15 years of age so I never really learned how to handle the ups and downs of life. Now I know how. I remember that early on in sobriety, the swings were more dramatic. I also had a few "tests" early on, e.g., a friends suicide; my brother's several admissions to hospital due to drugs. But I came through it and it made me stronger. In some ways, I feel fortunate to have an alcohol addiction. It has forced me to be in touch with my emotions and to learn healthy coping mechanisms. I see lots of "normies" who handle stress or feeling blue by overeating, shopping (too much), overworking, etc.

Uni, Wow, I'm very happy for you. Honesty is the path to freedom isn't it? PS. Hubby may have 1 or 2 bottles of beer in the house but that doesn't tempt me in the least (although I would not have had it in the house 3 years ago). If friends come over with wine though, I send them home with anything that is left over or I dump it down the drain). Wine was my drink of choice and I'm not going to mess with that!!!

Well, as far as the weather goes....even though it's been a hot one. I'm not looking forward to Winter. I hate the shorter hours of daylight!!

Going to work today so I have some time during the week to go pick my oldest up at camp.

Prayers to AFM.

Kaz, Hope you have fun with the Rav 4. Good that you are moving on after the 2 sips of champagne. If it were me, I would be asking myself why I thought it was okay to have those 2 sips.

Later,
M3

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

M3 I guess my answer to that was I was curious if I still liked the taste of it. I didnt really like it, although I used to like it.

Perhaps I do not belong on this board. I am not sure I've paid my dues. I do not think I had the same level of addiction to AL that others had here. I quit because I found myself feeling ill from small amounts of it, and at one time, I did drink too much for several years in a row. But that was some time ago.

I am one of the people who has stopped drinking because it wasnt good for me, it wasnt pleasant any more, and it was starting to influence my health too much.

In the past, I would have classed myself as a binger. Because I would drink a bottle of wine in one go, by myself. And at one point that escalated to every third night or so.

I dont know about the various severities of AL are but I found solice and friendship in the people here who are a constant inspiration to me. But I DO feel like I have not paid my dues.

kas

[Treya]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Treya, I started drinking at 15 years of age so I never really learned how to handle the ups and downs of life. Now I know how. I remember that early on in sobriety, the swings were more dramatic. I also had a few "tests" early on, e.g., a friends suicide; my brother's several admissions to hospital due to drugs. But I came through it and it made me stronger. In some ways, I feel fortunate to have an alcohol addiction. It has forced me to be in touch with my emotions and to learn healthy coping mechanisms. I see lots of "normies" who handle stress or feeling blue by overeating, shopping (too much), overworking, etc.

Mom of 3 you make some really good points. Thanks.
It's strange. I don't anticipate getting through the tough times with any difficulty. Oddly I can handle that kinda stress. It's the good times I have difficulty handling-the parties and the kind of subtle, casual temptations that I'm barely aware of-that's when I'm afraid I'll start again. But forewarned is forearmed. If I keep raising my awarness about when I MIGHT be tempted then maybe it won't catch me by surprise and I'll be ok. I can only do my best and I'm hopeful.
T

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Treya,
The more we become aware of our triggers the better armed we are.........
You can now adjust your plan accordingly

Kaslo, happy kayaking to you! I haven't done anything like that since my early 20's & I have no joint replacements!!! Have fun but be safe
My understanding about AL abuse is if you think you have a problem then you probably do. If you think you need to quit & do then good for you! You most certainly do belong here on the AF thread, please don't think otherwise. We all had different levels of AL abuse I think. I used wine to self-medicate a pretty serious depression brought on by YB's unwillingness to get his own depression treated - if that makes any sense. I simply got myself hooked on the numbness & preferred to stay that way for way too long. When I finally found the right treatment for my own depression then giving up my wine habit wasn't all that difficult. I had much more trouble giving up my smoking habit, believe me. But in both instances feeling supported by the good folks here helped me more than I can ever say. I love my MWO friends :l

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Lav, I hope the conversation with YB goes well. I'm sure he will come around eventually. Especially when he realizes that your army of fABulous friends are all sitting on the sofa eating popcorn and ready to come to your defense! :b&d:

Kaz, for me anyway, this thread is not about dues paying and who has paid what. It is quite simply about a committment to wanting to live an AL free life. You have always indicated that is what you want and unless something has changed, then you belong here!!!!!!!! I think there is reason for all of us to celebrate anyone who figures this out before the really horrible consequences set in. I don't think I would expect to get much support on this thread saying that any sort of drinking is a good idea. It's just not for people with an AL problem at any stage of it. You might recall a couple weeks ago I brought up my own stinkin' thinkin' about an O'Douls and that was certainly not met with a rousing "ODouls is a great idea - why didn't you have some?" (and I'm glad for that - I do not EVER need to hear that drinking real or fake beer is a good idea!) I am with M3 - I would be asking myself why I thought it was a good idea to taste champaign just like I was asking myself about the ODouls recently. Kayaking sounds like fun - especially in your gorgeous part of the world!

Treya, one thing that was critical for me was FULLY accepting - 100% - that I can't safely drink, ever. I was a walking relapse waiting to happen until I came to believe that deep down inside.

M3 - your beach weekend sounds AWESOME. I was standing at the end of my driveway - I can't believe you forgot me! :H

Well, farmers market done. Off to make some lunch. Then when that settles, a long walk despite the heat.

One thing is for sure..

DG

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

Kaslo;1156116 wrote: I dont know about the various severities of AL are but I found solice and friendship in the people here who are a constant inspiration to me. But I DO feel like I have not paid my dues.

IMHO, there are no dues. It doesn't matter if one glass every night was too much for you. AL was interfering in your quality of life. You are a fABulous asset to the board in you open sharing your navigational experiences of an AF life. I think it's important for there to be a representation of how people STAY sober and enjoy life. For example reading about the Montana wedding. In that open manner of sharing, you are a source of inspiration to others. You never know how a story you tell may be the very thing someone (lurkers too) may be needing to hear. Solace and friendship are a part the support game plan too, as so many of us were so terribly isolated. That is all. :crowned:

Hello to everyone. Sorry to not stay and chat but my mojo has gone missing.

[momof3]

AF Daily - Sunday July 31

BAck again then zoom, zoom.

Kaz, Ditto what the trio of smart women said--Greenie, Lav, and DG. They are so wise at the age of 29!! You are a valued member. It does mean that you are subject to the same tough love that all of us are though :l

DG, I was going to pick you up but after I got IJM at the end of his driveway, there was no room left...he brought a surfboard, guitar, loungechair and that darn barbeque grill and a whole bunch of those tough questions that he always posts. Next time though okay?

M3