AF August Angels - week 1

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - week 1

Well,
The YB was his usual self ~ talked about absolutely nothing relevant.
All he wanted was a free dinner & well wishes for his 2nd spinal injection tomorrow
Good damn thing I wasn't counting on anything more........ I really wasn't.

I successfully moved on of my young hens into the large flock today. If she's still alive in the morning I'll go ahead & move another one in :H
These birds have been challanging :H

papmom, hope you are enjoying your time off & getting that painting done

[Cassia]

AF August Angels - week 1

Evening angels. Just checking in from my new place. Will post some pictures soon.

Chill - I totally understand where you are coming from. I have had moments like that myself over the last few days. I would say that your change was a bit more dramatic because you changed your lifestyle. I think p3 is right. Try and make time to feel like chill again. I do wonder if part of it is actually anxiety about new relationship masquerading as missing Portugal? It is an amazing feel to be in love but I know from my friends recent experience in that it made her para. She thought she was going to mess it up or she didn't deserve it which is just daft. Anyway, I am just throwing it out there.

My stuff arrives from Glasgow on Thursday. It will be in customs for at least ten days and then I will need to schedule delivery. It will defo bring back some memories and no doubt be excitin but also difficult. I guess there is no going back now. X

[Chillgirl]

AF August Angels - week 1

Papmom - I love you! You give me the advice I'd give to someone else, why do we never give it to ourselves??! You are right, its up to me to fit part of that Chillworld into my new mainstream life. At the moment I never have a spare evening aside from doing cleaning, chores and shopping. Im going to allocate one evening a week when I only do "me" things, like catch up on Hayhouse radio, read, meditate or just slob out and eat popcorn.

Cass - I really appreciate your comments. You may be right, I DO very much feel my new relationship is too good to be true and im very much waiting for it to all go wrong which is insane considering how much I believe in the power of our thoughts! Maybe in some sabotagical (i doubt thats a real word :H) way id find it easier to say it didnt fit with the way i want to live my life, but that life is well and truely over and I wont ever be going back to it. Ken is quite honestly the best thing to happen to me in so many years but after so much going wrong in my life I seem to have a protective shield around me which keeps out the good as well as the bad.

it will be wonderful for you to have your belongings again, I think having them over there will make you feel even more at home, whats the latest news of Hubby's arrival?

Lav - what can we say, no suprises from YB :huh: next time he wants a free dinner give him a take out and send him on his way.......

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - week 1

Hello angellic ones......

The day started off busy so I'm just getting a chance to say hello & wish everyone a happy AF hump day

EB is looking forward to meatballs at Mi Mom's house for dinner so I need to run to the store.

chill, great idea! Next time I'll order YB a pizza & just toss it in the window of his truck :H :H
I do kind of resent the time I spend trying to be nice when he doesn't deserve or even appreciate it if you know what I mean

Oh well - wishing everyone a fabulous AF Wednesday!
Lav

[sdlovespackers]

AF August Angels - week 1

Hey all--

I wasn't going to post anything Chill, since I don't know you as well as the other gals but...so many times I've posted things or how I've been feeling only to erase them and repost a more generic post...so not to sound corny....or over step by boundaries.

When I read you describe how you don't look on the outside like you feel on the inside...I think that part is to be expected (and what scares me about dating) because you end up having to "give a little of yourself away" so to speak...to rather...letting someone into your world (at some point). It seems (maybe more so for women, I dunno...maybe it's me) I tend to lose myself pretty quick and tend to put someone elses' needs before mine...forgetting to make sure I remain happy in the relationship as well. Last night, as my son and I are TOTALLY slobbed out watching Shark Week week both running back and forth to the fridge for drinks, chips, ice cream...I loved it!!! Will someone else be ok with that if I let them into my life...or would I EVER be able to get to the point again to be able to act so freely in front of someone??? Does that make sense...I feel the same way as I walk around in my own skin...I'm not sure anyone really knows the "real me"....and I'm not at all saying those are your feelings. I guess, my bottom line was with a new, albeit wonderful relationship, there is bound to come a mix of emotions...I would (if you feel comfortable) be open with him so he doesn't mistake anything as you "not being happy with him"....men!! Sorry for my long babble...and if I overstepped my bounds.

Lav--as long as I'm on a roll...I wouldn't even order him the pizza...throw in the carry out menu as you wave him on by!! :H He knows how to dial a phone...when he needs something! OOwwwww...someone must have put a little BI--OTCH in my Cherrios this morning!!!:H

I need to take my son to Dr.'s appt...but I shall return...with my perky self!:H
Have a great Wednesday!
SD

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - week 1

SD - you crack me up :H :H

YB ran out of here 16 months ago & at the time (when someone mentioned that maybe I would find a new love) my response was: It will be a cold day in hell before I go man-searching again :H
I understand your feelings about feeling comfortable & just being yourself. I think I lived in a semi-hostage situation for way too long & am not looking to go there again

I still miss talking to Dill & our bus driver Sooty especially on Hump Day

[papmom3]

AF August Angels - week 1

Lav-I'm with SD. YB lost the old Lav when he walked out on you. He didn't deserve you before that and he definitely doesn't deserve you now. Too bad, so sad but he's going to have to go through this back thing alone. Unless he's willing to be a real partner to you again (was he ever?) I say wave him on by -I wouldn't even throw the menu at him(bitch ) but then again that might explain why I never got married or had a stable long term relationship!! He should be very grateful that we're virtual friends and not in the flesh ones living in his town :H

[Rusty]

AF August Angels - week 1

Good Steamy Humpday Afternoon AF August Fans,

Lav....special hugs to you....and here is what I have to say about YB. The next time he wants to come back, propose to him that you will help him write his autobiography, "My Life As A Weenie.":H So sorry you are dealing with all of his BS. I miss Dill and Sooty, too. I hope they're ok.

Chill-dear one....I think all your feelings are normal, and P3, SD, and Cass are right on (or spot on, as you say ) with their responses. I've been on this forum for a bit and I know for several years, you didn't have a full-time career....you were a "corporate wife" as we say in the US....you didn't work but your role was to support your husband in his career. Now, you have made a major move....you work full-time, and you have a relationship, and wow, that's quite a load all at the same time. Now, you are contributing by helping someone grow their business, and the life "in a field" as you described, is maybe meant for someone much older. I know you....you are here for a purpose....and I think one of them is to be closer to your family....mainly your sister who says she needs to cut down on AL. I think she's quietly reaching out to you, and how wonderful that you are close by to fill that need.:l And yes, yes, yes, plan a night to do something just for you...and just, Chill.

Cassia...thinking good thoughts for you in regard to your belongings getting here quickly.

Papmom......you are wonderful....but could you please publish a glossary of terms for your abbreviations? What is an SB and an OB (not an obstetrician...I know that!:H) Glad you had fun this weekend. Are you pursuing another job opportunity?

This summer has been wonderful so far....gosh, being AF means all the difference in the world!! I never thought I would feel this way about the AF lifestyle. I still have cringe moments, though....guys, if you ever tire of me telling you about my cringe moments, please PM me, and I'll stop. I'm serious. Well, I found another business mistake that I made 2 years ago due to my drinking. Yup. Fortunately, it is not evident to my client, but it is evident to me. Now, I have to fix it very carefully so the client does not know. Did I steal? No. Did I inconvenience him? No. But....it could have inconvenienced him. But, deep down, I know, I KNOW, the reason this is happening is that lest I forget, I could go down a very dangerous path, and I'll be damned if that happens again. Since I've been on vacation, I've been doing some soul-searching. I know damn well that when my drinking was at its worst....my brain was not functioning like it should have been. So, in order to show my loyal consulting clients that I am grateful for their business...I have contacted my clients and told them all that "You are the customer of the month, and you are getting a 30% discount on my services." Well, it's been successful....and I'm hoping that the pain of my drinking past lessens some day. I want to make amends for the pain I've caused people. There are days when I really cry.

Dew-how are you feeling, dear one?

Star-have you heard from your son? My best friend was over on Monday and she told me she's fed up with her son and she's tired of enabling him. So, like you, she is taking action. She feels relief now.

Ok, I'm going to work out.

I love you guys. Thank you for being here for me.

[papmom3]

AF August Angels - week 1

LOL Rusty!! SB = Snowblower and OB = Outback (as in Subaru).

Where is Jolie and Sped and Dill and Sooty and Cyntree? Come out come out where ever you are?? Who else is missing? I wish John would come back. I miss him a lot!

Productive afternoon. Went to 4 local banks to get info about refinancing this money pit of mine. Sometimes it really pays to do this sort of thing in person rather than rely on websites or via the phone. One bank's underwriter turned out to play golf with some retired administrators from my school. The last bank i walk into I was fired from 35 years ago!!:H Damn place hasn't changed a bit except for new paint colors! I was able to give her some history about an embezzlement that happened while I was there and was the reason I was fired. No, I didn't embezzle, the teller next to me was taking from my drawer AND her drawer!! But by doing so she made me look incompetent. No wonder my drawer never balanced!! Anyway it was good fun talking about it. the other 2 banks (mine included) have rates that are too high and don't participate in the special program I want to use. It's very possible this program will save me almost $300 a month in payments!!

I also had a phone/web presentation by a rep from One Block Off the Grid.
1BOG Home Solar Power Discounts - Buy Solar Panels for Your Home! I found them through a google ad on FB (facebook Rusty ). I found the presentation facinating and although I'm not sure adding solar panels to my roof will be cost effective when you take in the monthly lease payment, it's still better than 10 years ago. I wish I had 12 grand to pay the whole thing up front. Then I'd really make out!! Anywho, great info all around. I still have other companies to talk to and then make a decision.

Tomorrow is painting day at least for the Paphut. I'm getting very unmotivated to paint my bedroom. No idea why.

time to go eat dinner and then chill for the nite. Very tired today for some reason and it's not that hot or humid out!!

[Cassia]

AF August Angels - week 1

Hey all! Just sitting here in my apartment enjoying the fact that it has cooled down a bit and I don't need to put on my air conditioning. I just wanted to share my good news with all you lovely people. I was designated as the main person for the NY/NJ office for sba leaning which is a government sponsored program. It helps businesses that are struggling or just starting out get bank finance. It is a huge growth area for the bank and will be very high profile. I have to go to Boston next week for training and meet the rest of my team. This is a fantastic opportunity to shine in front of some very senior people. This all arose because I expressed an interest in it. It is the type of lending that is close to heart which truly helps businesses grow and improve. I am fair chuffed with myself.

P3 - you know where I am if you want to chat and go through what they are offering u. I really hope I works out for u.

Rusty - I think it's brilliant how much you are reflecting on the past and realizing how much better your life is without al. You are the consummate professional and imagine that this came thru even when you were drinking. Your customers are lucky to have you.

Love to you all!

Xx

[papmom3]

AF August Angels - week 1

Congratulations Cass!!! this is what I admire about you-you take the lead and have faith that you are the best one for the job and you look at the big picture. You don't seem to let insecurities or self doubt have any real estate within you!! If you have any free time during training and have access to transportation I would love to meet you in Framingham. It's about a 30 min drive for you from Boston. I live 50 min west of Framingham but work there so it would be a great half way place to meet. I do understand how packed training can be and the last thing you might want to do is get in a car and drive after a whole day of stuff being shoved down your throat (as exciting as that stuff is!!) so will totally understand if this is not the right time for a meet and greet. Anyway, PM me if you want to hook up.

The refi program I'm hoping to qualify for is the DU Refi Plus program through Fannie Mae https://www.efanniemae.com/sf/mha/mharefi/. I still have one more bank to look at who also offers this program and then I can decide who I'm going to apply to. Right now the interest rate is 4.25% with a good credit score, 3K closing, NO PMI (whoo hoo!!) and monthly payments in the high 800's. Also a LVT of 105% which means I can roll in the closing costs even if the value of my home is what I owe or a little below. I'll PM you Cass as I get closer to applying and esp when I get the Good Faith Est. Thank you!! :l

Rusty I too am so impressed with your introspection but please don't be too hard on yourself. The 30% discount is an awesome gesture on it's own merits, especially in this economy and I'm sure greatly appreciated. It may help assuage your guilt somewhat but I'm with Cass-I'm betting you made less mistakes than you thought. The past is a great reminder but we can't change it. Keep moving forward and be the best Rusty you can be from here on in. Love ya girl!!

Speaking of being the best we can be, I just signed up for Oprah's new onlie course she'll be offering in October: Own your Life. I can't link to it because it keeps bringing me to the sign up page but if you sign up with you email, it give you a summary of what to expect. Sounds really good!!

[Cassia]

AF August Angels - week 1

Hi P3! I will check it out and see what are bank does. Just a thought...have u checked your credit report? You can so it online for free annually. You have to pay another $9 for your score but I would highly recommend it. A good credit score is usually 675 or higher. Also if there is anything adverse on your report or anything that's incorrect then u can add a note or get it corrected. X

[papmom3]

AF August Angels - week 1

I did do the big 3 a couple of years ago but never got my score. In 2007 I refinanced and at that time my score was 700+. I'll look into again tomorrow or Friday and I'll cough up the $9. Great advice!!

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - week 1

I don't feel like talking about banks & mortages tonight :H

Cassia & papmom, put your heads together & get the job done
Congrats on your promotion (?) Cassia - sounds great!

Rusty, your clients are lucky to have you - really!
Now don't go & give everything away :H

When YB was here yesterday he said (his idea) that he would email me today after his procedure to let me know how things went. I haven't heard from him so am I supposed to just assume he is OK? This is his typical self-centered behavior
Well I had EB, his mother & littl ebrother here for dinner tonight so that was a good distraction. Nothing like a 2 1/2 year old to keep you distracted :H

Good night all!

[Stargazerlily]

AF August Angels - week 1

Good morning all....

Rusty, sounds like the AA making amends step, and it is refreshing for the soul. Sometimes it is easier to blow off how our drinking affected our work or relationships and I applaud you for being so courageous and honest with yourself. You have some so far and seem to be making permanent positive changes. Sending you strength and hope. My son is OK, he came over for dinner last night, he is struggling with less hours at work, but did well in school. I don't want him back at home!!! He is hardworking and has goals, he is just immature. Nothing like your friend's son who is addicted. I have a friend with an addicted son and it is just horrible, he is a liar and a thief, and virtually unemployable. Whew, at least I have been spared that.

Chill, working full time is a handful, I know I have worked full time for about eight years and it leaves so little time for yourself. But,it is a necessity. I think part time work would be the best. I can see where you would have a little anxiety in your new relationship, and only time will tell....but you have certainly done the work on yourself to be ready for a meaningful life with a new partner. It is built on honesty and being AF, totally different than with you husband. But, you are in a different phase of your life. Take that time for yourself, I need to do that too!!!

Cassia, good for you on your work promotion. How exciting!!! Hope you make the big bucks too.

Papmom, I love how you continue to explore all your options. I am waiting to hear about our refinance process. I do not want to pay PMI either.

Lav, sorry your hopes were again crushed by hubby. He just keeps on doing the same things and sounds really annoying. Being taken for granted is rough.

To all, have a great AF Thursday.