Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

[retteacher]

Hi AAers: I hope all is well. I'm doing fine...busy weekend w/the g-sons.

Last night's BB meeting is really picking up. There's an ebb & flow to the meetings that I'm starting to notice. Even though it was hot last night, every seat was filled. It was gratifying to see. We're starting to do committments: People from other groups come to speak at our group, then we go & speak at theirs. It takes service & the program a little farther afield. I'm pretty sure I'll participate.

Last night's BB story emphasized the working of the steps w/a sponsor. I see that going to meetings alone is not a way for me to progress. I needed to get a sponsor & begin work formally on the steps in order to put my program on a higher level. It's easy for me to coast, thinking that just going to meetings is enough.

The person in the BB story related that he had gone to a therapist for his "depression" & never told her about his drinking. At the end of the session, the therapist handed him a BB & told him to start going to meetings, that he was an alcoholic. I too went to a therapist & didn't reveal my alcoholism. She never asked & I never told. Obviously, the therapy didn't go anywhere, because of my deception. I've since heard others say they sought help but didn't talk about their drinking. Denial. It's pretty strong stuff!

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Mary - you will have fun having guest speakers at your meetings, and going off to other places to speak or to support your friends who are speaking. Can't wait to hear about it once you get going! I don't go to a lot of night meetings but our Saturday night meeting at the club is like that. Different groups will "sponsor" the meetings for a whole month, and provide the speakers. One interesting month was when people who carry the message in the prisons and jails were speaking. I stayed up past my (early) bed time to go listen to some of those! One month recently, one of the Chicago area young people's groups provided the speakers. That was very interesting too.

We have talked in meetings here too about the deceptions with therapists or medical practitioners. Indeed it is impossible for these people to treat us effectively when we are lying. I never fessed up either.

DG

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Hi all,

I have been so busy of late that I haven't even popped onto the boards! It is amazing how life is suddenly opening up. I am finally getting some direction in what I want to do in my life to make me happy, and so I have been doing stuff around that.

I have decided I want to be some sort of holistic life coach, using coaching, NLP, mentoring, hypnotherapy, that sort of thing - and probably focussing mostly on individuals who really need help. So I have joined a hypnotherapy course, have applied and got an interview as a voluntary mentor at an ex-offenders project on Monday, and have been doing lots of learning and signed up for more courses. I am also taking my first martial arts lesson tomorrow - I've wanted to do that for ten years!

And I was seven months sober yesterday which is the key to it all! I'm now on Step 3, and it is difficult. I don't quite know how to do it, because I want to feel I've done it properly. I don't really want to say the prayer - I've spoken to some atheists and some have said the prayer and others not. My sponsor has never had someone who is quite so anti-god! And I don't really believe in handing my life over. I am an outcome-focussed existentialist and humanist, haha, so that doesn't help. I can't trust and I don't have faith. I've been wondering if I could get around it by writing something out for step 3, like what it could mean for me.

For me, I am willing to hand my sobriety over to my HP ~ which is AA - totally and utterly. I haven't done this last 7 months, AA has carried me. And I am willing to practice acceptance of certain things outside my control - AA has already taught me this, but 'handing over' my will seems a bit extreme, especially as I have many goals that will require lots of my own will and directivn to get there. I wonder if it would be possible to do step 3 that way - just consolidating the way I understand and can use the step?

K x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Hi Kimberly. CONGRATULATION ON 7 MONTHS SOBER!!!!! :yougo::yougo::yougo: That is so awesome. I am smiling HUGE reading your post about all of your goals and the actions you are taking to get there. I can totally relate as I will be starting school in a couple more weeks to hopefully become a certified addictions counselor one day. Taking the classes is the first step. I think you will be AWESOME as a Life Coach!

As far as turning over my will and Step 3, here is how I think of it. I have no idea if this will give you any ideas or not. I think of "my will" as whatever it is I want to do. I think of "HP's will" as my best understanding of the RIGHT thing to do. Sometimes my own will is at odds with my conception of HP's will. Sometimes I would rather do the selfish thing than the right thing. For me, this choice happens many many many times in the course of a day. Simple things - do I cook a nutritious meal for dinner, or do I eat junk food and let my husband fend for himself after a long day? Do I put the shopping cart back where it belongs? Or do I leave it next to my car which is convenient for me but extra work for someone else? Do I respond to the person who needs a ride to a meeting? Or do I ignore their voice mail?

All day long I have choices of right or selfish. I believe I am turning my will over to HP when I am doing my best to do the next right thing. When I'm not sure what that is, I believe I am turning my will over when I sit in quiet meditation and "listen" for the answer. Or call my sponsor or another trusted mentor for some wisdom rather than automatically doing what best suits me in a selfish sense.

I think it's awesome that you are open minded enough to search for answers that will work for you, rather than just reject the idea entirely. I think it's great that you are asking other atheists how they worked through it. I have faith that you will get it sorted in a way that works for your sobriety!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Kimber: Congrats on 7 months. That's so great.

I am not the most spiritual person in the world. I'm very much in this world, & when I hear people talk about God, I feel kind of envious. I try not to overthink & do have to act "as if." I have a lover power & a higher power within me & try to tap into that whenever I have that opportunity.

There's a great speaker meeting I've been going to on Tues. nights. I feel a higher power in there when people share & talk about recovery. I think the spiritual part of the program is pretty simple.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[louise]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Greetings from a long lost member. I haven't been around much the last two years. I was having a lot of physical pain (needed a hip replacement, finally done!) and emotional pain as well. Unfortunately I had not yet totally surrendered to never drinking even one drink again and I'm sure you know what happened. Periodically I would come to the boards just to read, and every time you all were a sea of calm here and an inspiration. I started going to AA June 2nd and celebrated my 2 month birthday yesterday. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I just wanted to thank you all for being here and helping me to quit trying to do this from home and put myself in a chair in a meeting.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Louise: Your post made me feel emotional...to think that we were part of the reason you tried AA. I wouldn't be sober today wo/AA. I was at the end of my rope & had to do something different. My own will/power wasn't working. Please keep coming & sharing. We all need inspiration, & today you are it. Congratulations on your 2 month birthday. It gets easier & easier & better & better. Our lives may have its ups & downs, but we can always count on our sobriety. To me, it's my most precious gift. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

louise!!!! :yougo::yougo: I remember you and your wonderful balloon avatar! It is so good to hear from you. I'm sorry to read about your rough patch, but am so happy you kept coming back here, and that you were willing to give AA a try to see if it would help you. Congratulations on your 2 month birthday! I love coming to MWO but I equally love going to meetings and being face to face with people just like me. I hope you will post with us when you can!

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Kimberly, I left out something that is important to me re: my will / HP's will and turning it over. I feel true inner peace when it seems that my will and HP's will line up and are the same. When what *I* want IS the right thing. For me, those are the moments when I feel a bit of clarity about "turning my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand Him."

DG

[Kimberley]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Hey all,

Thanks for the congrats and the advice - it has given me something to think about. Welcome back Louise - great to see you and a huge congratulations on your 2 months! Yeah I did the same as you FINALLY went to AA and tried it properly. And happy to say I haven't picked up since.

Went to my mixed martial arts class yesterday - I went on my own, which I am giving myself HUGE kudos for. I am usually a scaredy-cat about such things! I loved it and can't wait to start going regularly Yet another example of how my life is openin up greatly now I'm sober and less insane thanks to AA and you lot here of course!

K x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

"my life is opening up." I like the way you describe that. Mine was sure a teeny tiny dark place in the end of my drinking. My life has opened up too! Cool that you are enjoying martial arts on your own! Lots more flexibility that way, I would imagine.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Last night's step was step 2. Lots of good sharing & plenty of people expressing skepticism about what an HP is. I try not to try to figure it out. I try to find a spiritual connection through prayer & readings, but I wouldn't say I've had any huge spiritual awakening. I'm assuming mine is more gradual. To me, that I've been able to stay sober for 2 years is a bonafide miracle. That's proof enough for me that an HP is working in my life.

Program friends are coming for pizza & a game later. I like that social part of the program...who knew life could be so much fun wo/booze? M

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Hi Everyone

Kimberley congratulations on 7months AF, Step3 without using HP or prayer , i will try and give it a go......... To me i think it a good idea to write it down like you said how you think step3 is to you.... Without you realizing it your doing step3, YOUR taking CARE of yourselve, this is what this step is about owning our power to take care of ourselves. It all about finding valuing loving and trusting yourselve. To turn our will and lives over. Sometimes it important not to run on our own will. for me i have to think twice, and it about the way i re-acted and plus i would have you talk to my sponsor. I hope that makes sense.

WOW Louise, well done on 2months AF, so glad that you come on here, and reading posts that lend you to AA how. is that!

You know am learning so much about myself today, how and why i dont like to get too close to people. How i like to be on the outside looking in.( always have been that way before i was drinking) Sometimes i want to be in the middle and then i dont like it. For me it all about learning to trust and dont like getting hurt. See if i keep my distances with everyONE i feel safe. A very good friend pointed this out for me today and it so true, even though i dont like it but deep down it true.... Glad i have good friends that understand ME today!



Take care and keep safe. L:hve 2u all:l



.

Take care all

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Wow. What a great way to enjoy Friday night. I'm so happy to be part of this group. It keeps getting better.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 1 - Aug. 7

Thank you Phil. I love when you come here w/your positive attitude. M