Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

[retteacher]

Everyone:

I hope all is well. I've been making as many meetings as I can. Last night's meeting was big & the sharings were wonderful...a lot of experience, strength, & hope. There was some discussion about the doubts we had when we first entered AA.
-Will I ever have fun wo/alcohol?
-Can I cope w/difficulties wo/alcohol?
-Can I rewire my brain to do wo/alcohol?
-etc.

I now know the answer is a resounding "yes." Yesterday, we went to our annual Italian cultural club picnic. There was a table of Italian wines...though not nearly enough for alcoholics. I wasn't tempted in the least & noticed most of the bottles weren't even empty when we left. In my drinking days, all I would have been able to concentrate on was how much I could drink.

I'm getting ready to do the 4th step w/my sponsor. I'm looking forward to uncovering some of the character defects that led to my drinking.

Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Hi everyone! Today is my birthday - and I'm a big 2 years old! That sounds so incredible when I remember not knowing if I could even do one day, or two days, let alone a week, or 30 days (which truly sounded like an eternity). I am truly grateful and feel so very blessed, and I owe it to AA.

Thank you to everyone on this thread for your contributions. Just lurking here was what got me "wanting what you had." Thanks to all of you who answered my questions about AA, and encouraged me to overcome my fears of people and new things and try it. It has absolutely been a life changer for me. I could not imagine life without it and my new friends - who feel a lot like a "best friend" (from my much younger days) who I can talk to about anything.

I'm on my 3rd Step, and actually starting my 4th (the inventory), like how it goes in the BB. My sponsor is breaking the inventory up into 3 increments, taking into account how I learn best (and my good old ADD. Too much at one time=chaos). I'm really touched she came up with that. Sometimes I'm not sure people get just how much ADD negatively affects our entire lives, or if they even believe it's real (it is, trust me!). It is estimated that 30-50% of untreated adult ADDers become alcoholics or addicted to other substances. We go off topic really easily too.

AA works so well that, while working at the very large retail store where I'm now employed, a customer asked me where to find the wine and beer, and I had to think about it! If that's not a successful program, I don't know what is! :H

I'm sending cyber cupcakes to everyone, but feel free to go have a real one (and don't forget the ice cream!). Have a wonderful day everyone, and much, much, much love to you all!!!!! :h - Lisa

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Lisa: Congratulations! I too couldn't put a few days together! What a gift sobriety is.

I was a special eduation teacher all my life & see how many fellow AAers are ADD. I absolutely know that alcohol was a way to self-medicate. Now w/AA there is a way out.

Again congratulations!

Love, mary

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Hello, All!!!!!

:goodjob:

Lisa,

Congrats on 2 yrs!!!!

You're right on when you said how incredible it is to remember when we started out even a week sounded like forever.

I have always enjoyed your posts.

I like what Louise said in last week's thread about how people here got her to stop trying to quit at home and put her in a chair at AA. I think alot of us here have started out that same way. I know for me I thought AA was not even an option for me. I wanted to quit at home, privately, just as I drank. I see now why that wasn't working for me. I was only trying to remove the alcohol, but not making any other changes. I am so grateful to the folks here who share themselves and gave us the courage and desire to "want what they have" enough to brave AA.

AA and MWO have not only been life savers, but I am learning how to actually enjoy life.

Have a super birthday!!!

HG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

HG: Every time you share I see myself. I too drank privately at home. I too wanted to quit privately. I resisted AA until I experienced a bottom I couldn't ignore. Thank God for the gift of desperation. Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Thanks Mary and HG! I can relate to that to. I drank alone, and thought I could help myself alone. I did acknowledge that MWO was definitely helpful - but I never asked for help myself, I only gave out advice!

Yes, life can be enjoyed - once I gave it a chance and learned how (oh - I have to participate! :H). Pre AA I never really did, and though I am still a work in progress, I'm finding it's not quite so scary, and often quite enjoyable. Interesting how I often felt very alone, yet continued to isolate myself. What I really like about AA is there is no pretense - you get to know others on a much deeper level. That can be difficult in the outside world, but if nothing else, it has taught me to see others differently, as living breathing souls who deserve respect for that, at the very minimum. This helps me be more open and interact instead of just trying to avoid human contact. I heard a saying at a meeting that was something like, "when you spit in your fellow man's eye, you are spitting in God's eye." I didn't exactly spit, but neither did I acknowledge. I thought that was OK. Now I know that sometimes it does make a difference to someone just smile at them, or help them in even a small way.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14


:yougo::yougo:CONGRATULATIONS LISA ON 2 YEARS SOBER!!!:yougo::yougo:


You would not believe the huge smile I have on my face after reading your post! I am so happy for you. Very funny story about having to think where the booze is where you work! Now THAT is PROGRESS!

HG - so wonderful to hear from you. So glad that life is changing for the better for you!

I SWORE I would NEVER go to AA. EVER. :H Shows what I know about it!

I will say again that sponsoring others is such a gift. I can't wait until you all are sponsoring others (or maybe you already are!!!).

I wasn't sure if my new sponsee and I really have enough in common for this to work. But she is a new gem in my life and as we get to know each other better, I just see her as a gift more and more. She has battled such difficult addictions (heroin and crack cocaine) and is wining the fight for today. She is learning that she is NOT defined by her past life as a drug addict and all that entailed. She can choose a better path today. She can define who she is NOW today. I am so proud of her. If she can stay clean and sober then maybe I can too. She is doing something today that is very brave for her. When she called me just to talk about her fears and her thoughts about it, I knew we had finally made a connection.

Brings tears to my eyes (in a good way). I am so happy to be in the land of the living finally!

DG

[louise]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Congratulations on your 2 years Lisa. Just a quick hi to everyone. Glad to hear everyone is doing well. I just got back from a trip to Seattle to see friends. Rather emotional as it was my first trip without my husband (we recently separated). I was a wreck when I got off the plane but had my handy phone list with me. When all I got was answering machines I finally called my nephew - who I knew was in AA but he did not yet know I was. He was great, if a bit surprised. Tomorrow I go back to work. I have been blessed to have 9 weeks off to work on myself. I have been going to many daytime meetings so my schedule is going to have to change. I'm a bit worried about fitting in everything (I started my 4th step - very time consuming and emotional!) but I'm sure I'll be ok if I keep my priorities straight.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Louise: You're doing great. Making those phone calls was such a big step! You'll fit the meetings in while you're working. You'll be seeing different people at the evening meetings, & that's a good thing. I find it's not a good thing to get complacent. I have to keep challenging myself. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Yes Louise - good for you making the calls. Good for you being honest with your nephew as well. Good that you can support each other now! I find as I "come clean" with the people close to me, I am feeling more and more like a whole person instead of the old me. I always had one face I presented to the world while I tried my best to hide my "dirty little secret." The more I can just be honest and be me with my loved ones, the better I feel.

As you go back to work, remember the AA saying "Take it Easy." Don't stress out. Just do your best and all will work out as it should.

Mary - I agree with you about complacency. I was getting a bit restless until new sponsee showed up just in the nick of time to change it up a bit for me.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

I too lived a double life, w/ the secret drinking lurking in the background. That was the one thing that caused me the most angst. I wanted to be the real me but couldn't because of all the subterfuge of hiding the drinking.

Yesterday, I had a couple of AA girlfriends over for breakfast. We had a great time speaking from the heart about what was going in our lives. It feels so good to do that.

Take care one & all. I spoke to my sponsor. We're going to start my 4th step after my son & family leave at the end of August. In the meantime, I'm reading all I can about the step. Looking forward to doing it.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Good to see y'all here. I have been driving about 110 miles each day for work this week ( Arlington to McKinney, TX). Two years ago I would have used that drive home to drink a six-pack of Bud. Wow, I am so glad I don't have to live like that today.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Gosh Phil: The crazy things we did while we drank! I thought driving under the influence was pretty OK as along as I wasn't completely blasted. I've been noticing so many accidents in the paper lately. I'm sure a good percentage of them were alcohol related.

Last night's meeting was on step 3. There was much talk about God/HP w/plenty of people expressing doubts but taking the step anyway. When it comes down to it, I have to be willing to do anything to stay sober.

I'm finding that I use my program more & more on life issues than just on staying sober. My relationships need an overhaul, as I neglected them while I was drinking. For me, it was all about going along to get along, because I had my dirty little secret drinking. Now, I'm finding that speaking up for myself is something that I have to continually work on. If I just keep quiet about everything, I build up resentments...& we all know that resentments are an alcoholic's #1 enemy.

[DogLvr]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Hi all - I don't usually read the weekly threads - but I had to say Congratulations to you Dancelot - 2 years is awesome!!! :goodjob::goodjob::goodjob:

What you said about ADD really hit me too - I haven't been diagnosed for it, but I know that I was a hyper child - and I still jump all over the place - whether it's cleaning the house (starting something in one room - then walk to another room and notice something to be done there - and forgetting to go back to the place I started - arghh).

I guess AL just would calm me down (initially), and maybe - not sure - I used that to calm my mind....hmm - you've given me something to think about.

Have a great weekend..

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 8 - Aug. 14

Phil, I lived in TX (Sugarland, near Houston) in the early/mid 80's. I want to say that in those days, it was not illegal to have open liquor in the car and people other than the driver could be drinking away. Only the driver couldn't be "drunk" or "drinking while driving." Either that, or the people I hung with were making it up as they went! Anyway, they used to bemoan the change of law from when drinking while driving was fine - just don't be completely drunk. Only is Texas where EVERYTHING is bigger! (and wilder, and crazier.) I too am glad to not be combining drinking and driving any more, in any iteration.

Mary, it always helps me to hear that people don't have to have a "perfect" conception of God and HP and be 100 comfortable in order to take step 3.

DogLvr, it's great to see you! Miss you on AF Daily! Hope all is well.

DG