AF August Angels - week 3

[papmom3]

AF August Angels - week 3

Sped and SD-HUGE CONGRATS on 60 days!! WHOO HOO!!

Sped-so proud of you going to all lengths to stay sober! And cycling to a meeting to boot! You go girl!!

SD-I truly hope Monday is not as bad as you are anticipating it to be. Deep breaths and positive thoughts OK?

Chill-One of the great gifts sobriety has given you is the ability to know yourself. You might be dragged to that knowledge kicking and screaming but in the end you do what is right for you. Its a hard thing and I admire you for it. Ken will understand if he is truly meant to be with you.

Lav-I'm so happy orders have started rolling in. No rest for the weary right? How are the girls holding up with all these storms?

Speaking of weary-our Travelista, Miss Rusty! My word what a week you have had with a colossal bore!! She must have very severe self confidence issues to act the way she does. I'm so glad your week is over and you can relax at home for a few days. Hope it's sunny and warm where you are so you can enjoy some pool time before heading out again.

Dew!! You're back! We've missed you so! Sorry you are not feeling up to par but taking some time off is brilliant and I'm sure you will reenergize in no time. Here's hoping the weather in Scotland stays sunny and warm for you.

Star-yes-that crystal rock thing sounded amazing! How do you find these things?

Rustop-hope all is well in your busy busy world.

All is well here in Pap world. Still waiting out the job search thing. Trying to get up the courage to call job #2A and ask for an update. I'll also be letting them know there is another opportunity out there and I need to know if I should pursue it. Very afraid of what the answer will be but it must be done. Monday.
Spent the day with my dog show friends at our club's annual Specialty. I ended up working the awards table which was very exhausting but fun. I learned more about the sport of Conformation in 3 hours than I have in the 8 years I've had papillons!! For instance, did you know that in Conformation a dog is allowed to poop or pee in the ring with no disqualification??? I didn't either! Doesn't work that way in agility that's for sure! :H Seriously tho, i did learn much more than that.
This weekend I start getting the tools together to start my new way of eating and living, Paleo style. tomorrow a trip to the Farmers Market for a weeks worth of fresh veggies and then on to Trader Joe's for grass fed beef, jerky and sausage (I hope). I have lots of non grass fed/non natural pork in the freezer as well as some grilled chix breasts. I will use them despite the non Paleo source because I refuse to throw them out, hormones or not.
Sunday I will be cooking for the week. I've bought a pull up bar for the door way and a nice thick exercise mat so I can start my Cross Fit program correctly. $38 in equipment beats $150 a month any day!!

Didn't all asleep until after 3am last nite and up at 7 with a rude awakening at 5:30 due to the dog next door being out and DD needing to let the world know. Hoping for an early nite and easy sleep tonite.

See you tomorrow!!

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - week 3

papmom, the chickens don't seem to be bothered by the storms - guess they're just too dumb :H
The dogs have been pestering me without mercy.......really.
Watch your pocketbook shopping for Paleo eating
I'd never survive eating like that. I don't eat beef or sausage, have already eliminated dairy (had to), I love grains & beans (cheap source of protein & fiber). I do love my veggies though

Wishing everyone a sound night of sleep

Lav

[Chillgirl]

AF August Angels - week 3

Good morning all
Enjoyed my Chill night but ate way to much chocolate, will I never learn :no:

Sped - belated Happy Birthday and good for you on sticking with AA. I too didn't agree with load of their thinking but at the time I got huge comfort in just being with other addict and hearing their stories. For the rest of my life I will always feel a need to seek out PLU's (people like us) from time to time. To share that mutual understanding is a wonderful relief from the sad lonely days when I coped alone with my dirty secret. That's why checking in here is so important to me.

Papmom - I have no idea what Paleo is but you sound determined and that's 90% of the battle. I look forward to hearing your progress. I continue (when I'm not OD-ing on chocolate) to eat well with as little processed food as possible. I know the difference in how I feel when I stick to it and it's wonderful both mentally and physically. I hope your well rested today.

Lav - I don't eat red meat either and try to avoid dairy as much as possible. I use soya milk and when Im cooking for just me I live on veggie stirfries.

I'm off out early on my dog walk then to my spin class, getting on that bike is the highlight of my week and I swear it's better than sex

[rustop61]

AF August Angels - week 3

Good morning everyone

Sped and SD - Huge congratulations on your 60 days and belated happy birthday Sped.

Dew - Good to see you back.

Papmom - You learn something new every day and this thread is a constant source of information, fun and support for me.

Chill - Glad you got some me time. I will be following your example soon.

Lav and Star and anyone else I missed a big hello.

Tired but extremely happy this morning. Left on Wednesday morning for show but stopped on way as my daughter was getting her exam results. Well, she got 590/600, 5 A's and an A2. An amazing achievement and I am so happy for her. She worked hard all over her school years but as the final result is based on one exam, it does not always reflect that. Looks like getting into any university she wants wont be a problem. The Connemara show was some experience. We had bright sunshine the first day and she did well in the showing. Yesterday it lashed out of the heavens and they decided as part of the jumping course that you could bring the horses through a river. The levels were rising all the time and her pony got very spooked before he went into the ring. He's a bit of a baby with anything new. She decided to do the difficult jump instead of the river but brought it down. There were a few clear rounds before her so we decided to call it a day and did not wait for results, we were all soaked at that stage and had a 5 hour drive home. I am so relieved it is all over.

Going to take the doggies for a walk and have a nice relaxing day.

Have a great week-end everyone.

Rustop

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - week 3

Good morning!

Damp, damp & more damp here - crazy weather, fog, 90 % humidity - yuck

Chill, spin class better than sex? :H
Guess I'd better go look for a spin class for myself as well :H

Rustop, Wow on your daughter's exam results!!!!
You must be a very proud Mom
Glad you got home safe after your damp day at the pony show!

I'm determined to keep working on this house & not let things go around here even though I have to do it all myself. I will finish painting my powder room today
Wishing everyone a great AF Saturday!

Happy belated birthday Shelley :bday7:

Lav

[Stargazerlily]

AF August Angels - week 3

Good morning all...

Rusty, it's over and you hopefully don't have to associate with that particular person soon. I like my new job very much, there is no comparison. However, for some reason, I still get anxiety on Sunday nights.

Rustop, congrats to your daughter and you!! It is so wonderful when our children do well, as you (and I) worked hard to support and get her (them, my own kids) to where they want to go.

Chill, I too find it hard to get a balance between socializing and having time to myself. Your evening sounded great, even the too much chocolate. You can't eat clean all the time, at least I can't. I like to indulge on my time off a bit, but need to be careful not to go overboard!! I know what you mean about loving to exercise, it feels so good, whether it is yoga, cardio, cycling, walking....I always feel better after I exercise. As far as the comment about sex, I don't know what to say.

Papmom, glad you have your mat and are ready to go. I can tell you are going to be making serious changes.

Lav, the leaves here are starting to turn just a really little bit, but it was still 90 yesterday!! Whew, it was hot. I weeded for about two hours and am very please with the results. Hopefully, this is the last time I weed all year.

This was interesting, I had two women spill their guts to me yesterday, one a neighbor who I know slightly and the other a store clerk who was helping me take something out to my car. I wonder what kind of energy I was sending out. It seems to me that in this fast paced world, we all need someone to listen to us. There is a good old book by Taylor Caldwell, called The Listener. It is such an awesome book, she is one of my favorite authors, but I notice that her books are slowly leaving the libraries. Sad. Anyway, this book is about a place in a city, in a park, where people can go and have someone listen to them, for free, at any time. It is about there stories and the human need to be listened to and understood. It is not long, and although an old book, it is timeless. I feel that all of us listen to each other and that makes all the difference, no matter where we are on our journeys.

The philosopher in me is back....to all have a great AF day.

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - week 3

Star,
I'm going to add that book to my list ~ I think I've run across it somewhere.
You must be sending out healthy, calm vibes & that's why you are being chosen to be the listener
I have not had my needs met to be listened to or understood (on a reguar basis) since my Mom passed away. She was the only one who ever really understood me. No wonder I ended up so lost......she's gone 25 years next month. I think Sunday night jitters are pretty average. Monday mornings used to be complete hell at the hospital :H
Hope you have a nice day

[Chillgirl]

AF August Angels - week 3

Afternoon gals

Rustop - BIG congrats to your daughter! Fantastic results, you must be very proud of her. What does she want to study at University?

Star - It sounds like you are in a good place right now and its obviously reflecting outwards. I love the idea of the book. We all need our sounding boards. My 1st thought when I went to my 1st AA meeting and heard how everyone poured their hearts out, was that this is what everyone need, not just addicts, we all need to open up and get whats inside out there.

Lav - Im so sorry for the hole in your life where your Mum was. My Mum is my biggest confidant and even though I dont always agree which what she has to say, I always want to hear her advice.

I met one of my oldest and dearest friends today. She lives a couple of hours away and this is the 1st time we've got together since I moved back. As always we could talk forever and it was such a joy to spend time together. I'm going to do todays meditation (Sped check out thechopracentre.com) then im heading over to Ken's. We are out to dinner with two other couples tonight. I have to say Id much rather be having a repeat of last night and curling up in my jammies to watch the 1st of the new X Factor. I having serious doubts about my need for interaction with people, I love being alone and NEVER feel lonely. In fact I get a little anxious about going out and much prefer to stay home. Weird perhaps but its when Im at my most happiest.

[papmom3]

AF August Angels - week 3

Rustop-Yes huge congrats to your daughter!! Fantastic!!

Star-interesting book. I'll have to check it out.

Chill-no need to force yourself to do anything. If you are in a place right now where you're truly happier being alone then that is what you should do. However, just be sure it's not a way to avoid feelings of anxiety over social perceptions, getting serious with someone (Ken), doing the hard work it takes to become a total person. I know first hand how much easier it is to stay home alone with fav TV shows than to make the effort to go out and be with people. Just make sure you are aware of the difference. I don't want you to end up a lonely, fat 55 yo like myself with no love in her life because you have so much life in you and love to give!!

this morning was spent cleaning out my fridge and washing all the shelves and bins to properly welcome the new fresh food I bought at Trader Joe's. I still have the side shelves to clean but overall it looks like new!! I was pretty much able to keep to my $100 budget although I had to go to a special health food store to find the coconut oil I'll use for cooking. That only ran me $4 over budget. Not bad. This evening I'll be searching for Paleo friendly recipes. Still not happy about giving up my peanut butter and bagels w/apples tho. It's about the only think I'm not thrilled about actually. The rest of the program I think I can do easily with some preparation.

It's very warm out but thankfully not humid. Must go hang the clothes out now.

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - week 3

Ah, better now.....sitting with my feet up

Chill, I'm about to listen to today's meditation & I hope it's better than yesterday's (JC was a turn-off for me, I didn't even bother to finish listening to him)
It's true, finding balance in my life has always been a big problem. I lost the important women in my life way too early. Friends are friends - not the same as female relatives. Having three brothers was never any sort of help, they're idiots mostly. Funny my husband turned out to be an idiot too.

papmom, please be sure to do some research on the side effects of primal eating. I just read a blog where many people talked about diarrhea - eeewww. Elevated cholesterol & triglycerides levels & developing hypothyroidism are major concerns. Low carb eating means putting yourself into ketosis (fat burning) & that can damage your kidneys. I hate to be the party pooper here but that sort of eating style is just not good for everyone. Just want you to be careful :l

OK, enough for today - wishing everyone a good night!

[papmom3]

AF August Angels - week 3

thanks Nurse Lav!! I will be careful. I"ve done a lot of reading and there's some good explanations for the increase in the cholesterol and triglycerides and its not as bad as it looks. I will make sure that I get blood work done next months to make sure my kidneys are doing OK. I'm going to stick with lean meat and fish and lots of veggies/salad. I've found some recipes for bagels and bread using coconut flour (yes, I know it's not a carb) which will help me with my bagel obsession. I really need to do something to break this sugar addiction. If this doesn't work, I will try going gluten free but stay away from the sweets.

I didn't like yesterday's meditation either-his voice got loud and hyper at a couple points and I really could not relate to the visualization presented. I hope tonite's is better. I too love Davidj's voice and wish he would do the whole challenge!!

[rustop61]

AF August Angels - week 3

Good morning everyone

Where is that 'me' time I have been dreaming about!!! So far today, I have been down to let the horse out, walked the dogs, picked up my daughter who stayed with a friend last night and been to mass, all before 12 noon. School starts on Thursday so I guess there is no point getting used to lie in's. I too need to do something about my eating habits, will be back to weight watchers come September.

Hope everyone has a good and relaxing Sunday.

Rustop

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - week 3

Good morning friends!

Dark & damp as usual here
This weather is definately contributing to my foul mood of late.....

Rustop, you know what?
Looking back now, I think I was better off when I was crazy busy with kids & didn't have time to think about my own troubles. Now I find I have way too much time to dwell on them & that's not good

My latest crop of anxiety is related to two things:
1. My daughter, SIL & Lily are moving at the end of September. They are going back to the area where we all originated from ~ they will no longer be around the corner which has been a sense of comfort to me.
2. Both of the new babies are being Baptized next month which is wonderful but I'm feeling so uncomfortable picturing myself attending these events alone......there is nothing I can to change any of this & I need to just get over it

Enough from me - wishing everyone a good AF Sunday!

Lav

[papmom3]

AF August Angels - week 3

OH Lav!!! I'm so sorry to hear the news of the move!! Wish I could give you a huge hug. How far away will they be?

I don't know what to say about the Christenings. I totally get the not with a partner thing. I hope you'll be able to see it from a different angle by the time the events happen.
:h

[sdlovespackers]

AF August Angels - week 3

HI All!

Lav--I'm sorry to hear about your family moving as well. Hopefully it's not too far away. I know how important having family around can be (my mom and sister both live about 6 blocks from me!)

I again apologize for not posting since Thursday....I've been reading and everyone has been having such wonderfully positive posts, I honestly didn't want to be the downer on it all. I should of had a premise of the day to come on Friday when I got into bed and rolled back the covers only to find my dog had somehow gotten out of the kitchen, jumped up into my bed and peed at the head of my bed (and then covered it because the top of the comforter wasn't wet!!!) HATE HER...but another story.....Friday back to work was awful!!!!! I cried for hours when I got home....didn't sleep Friday night (actually spent most of the night online looking for a different job...anywhere)...had the worst headache all yesterday...my mom finally brought over some "good meds" that just kind of dulled the pain...still have my headache today...but am going to try to give it a couple weeks until the new principal gets more settled and less stressed and try talking to her again. She comes from a Middle School perspective and before that worked in a High School...never an elementary school....I don't think she has a clue what my job is or what I do or how I interact with kids!! Bottom line, I came back to a closet of a room/office...where my old room (HUGE ROOM) that I could hold groups, all my supplies and winter clothing...all kinds of things for the children would all hit...including my desk...is sitting empty. This closet doesn't fit a small round table...and they ordered me a smaller desk!!:upset:

You know as I sat bawling on the floor Friday night...so many things going through my head...the night before, the hour lecture my mom gave me on how my son knows he has control and how I'm doing him a disservice by not holding him accountable and teaching him the value of a dollar...blah, blah, blah...she was well into a bottle of wine...tried several times to get off the phone with her...anyway...I just sat there bawling thinking...I'm doing and DID everything I could POSSIBLE for my son this summer to STAY HERE with my son this summer....I was ONE MORE DRINK from rehab....and knew...KNEW if I didn't stop drinking that's where I was going!!! I knew it was going to be hard....super hard...because I have no support here...none....everyone around me drinks ALL THE TIME!!!!! Yet criticizes me for everything I do...or that yes, maybe I am having a hard time right now...maybe doing this is hard and doing it alone is even harder...but I keep doing it!!! I can't get into my counselor next week cuz she's booked...I see next Monday....sorry to just unload...I'm just so frustrated and stressed.....but I'm not going to drink because being sober is the one thing I KNOW i'm doing right in my life right now!! Thank you ladies so much for always being here....you have no idea how much it means...:l:l:l
SD:upset: