AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

[Kaslo]

As y'all like to say... WAKEY WAKEY!!!!

It is good to be home, and soon as I got here what with all the reno madness going on with peeps on this site I am looking around and I see... deck needs redoing, front door and porch need paint, lawn needs to be mowed (I know thats not officially reno, but looking at my garden it might qualify). Kitchen needs paint. That is all.

Dete did you take a pix of the flower with cowboy hat wall paper?

Does cream color go well with wine-colored trim and green tile?

Boy am I glad to have finished my field season!!! One thing is for sure....

Kaslo

[papmom3]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

Kaslo;1164841 wrote:
Does cream color go well with wine-colored trim and green tile?
Kaslo

Absolutely!!

[Treya]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

Hi Kaslo,
(And whoever else follows)
Not so good today.
My mother passed away yesterday -she was elderly and frail and so it wasn't exactly unexpected but it always a shock and so final when it actually happens.
I'm feeling strong urges to have a drink. Any advice is welcome.
Treya

[jennyneric]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

I'm so sorry about your mom passing Treya!:l About the urges. . .DG always says do something active, running, walking, cleaning, shopping. Me personally, I says at home, I eat,eat,eat drink a coke or have some ice cream, run around the block, play a game with the kids, call a friend and see if you can strike up a phone conversation, especially if there is someone you can call and say I feel like drinking right now, can you help distract me? Then talk about anything but drinking. . .you can do it! No need to throw all your work away, just surf the craving. My secret weapon is I tell the craving ok, well go to the store and get some "insert drink here" but after I do "insert something active here", then after I do that I tell the craving the same thing over and over till the shops close and hey then there is no point and you have another AF day! I don't know if that works for everyone but it works for me. . .I give in so the voice in my head shuts up but I still don't drink.:l

[papmom3]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

(((Treya))). I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. You are so right-no matter how expected, it still hurts like hell. All I can say is that while the AL will give you some numbing relief for a little bit, it does nothing to change the fact that your mom is still gone. One of the things we all have to learn when we go AF is to feel the feelings, no matter how painful. It's very hard but so worth it. Try to imagine how crappy you'll feel tomorrow-physically and emotionally, especially if after you start drinking you get out of control. You can post here all you want, hop on CHAT for instant support, crawl into bed and sleep, make some tea, call a friend.... whatever works to help you through the initial shock and pain. Once you get past this stage, you'll be better able to handle all that comes next. But not if you crawl into a bottle. Stay with us Trey-we'll get you through this.
:h :l

[Determinator]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

on the road so it's zoom zooming.

hugs to those in need xxxxxxxx

[Treya]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

Hi Guys,
I've been doing quite well with the cravings and they haven't been too bad until yesterday and today. I guess my immediate response to grief is to look to the bottle to numb the pain and to relax.
However, Jennyneric and Papmom -thanks for pointing out to me that I have other choices. I'd quite forgotten that. In fact there's nothing to stop me going for a run right now or go buy a huge cream cake. And you're right. I'd feel so bad that I 'd let my good work go to waste if I capitulate today and hit the wine. The next fews days will be hard because I have a journey of 200 miles to the funeral and then meeting my close family and friends -and there will be drinks after the service.
I just hope I make it through. Thanks for your words of support. They help.
Treya

[Doggygirl]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

((((Treya)))) I'm so sorry to hear that your Mom has passed. I have yet to experience the loss of a parent and I can only imagine how painful it must be -even if they have lived a long and full life. I guess the first thing that comes to my mind these days regarding painful things is that by drinking, I would still have the painful thing AND a hangover to go with it. I also know that if I take the first drink, I will want more more more. I really don't want the distraction in my life of constantly thinking about drinking and having to push back the thoughts, only to have them resurface, etc. If you choose to drink now, you just invite that cycle to continue on and on.

Taking a walk or doing something active to raise your endorphins is a much better plan. Our bodies have the most remarkable "feel better" tools built right in. I say use what you have! :l

Every day I start out with an ambitious list of work stuff I want to get done before school starts. And every day I don't get nearly enough of it done! Time to put my nose back on the grind stone....

One thing is for sure!

DG

[Doggygirl]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

Oh Treya - one other thought for you. "Hoping" I didn't drink was not nearly as good for me as DECIDING I wasn't going to drink. When I just hoped, that usually meant for me that I was going to cave, and was trying to let myself down with some gentle bullshit.

FWIW... there is no reason to drink over this. :l

DG

[LVT25]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

Hi Treya,
I am so sorry for your loss. As the others have pointed out, nothing is to be gained from drinking, but plenty is lost. You will feel so much better if you make yourself get through this without the al. You can do it, and your mom would be proud!:l:h

[Kaslo]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

Sorry to read of your loss, Treya. Its really something very few people can know how they are going to make it through, cant say it any other way. IMHO also, alcohol will not help, I can almost guarantee you will not have the numbing and relaxation you used to have years ago but an overwhelming blow of grief may hit you pretty hard. And you wont cope well. And you will feel like crap during and after. I know this from experience. My mom died back when I was self medicating with alcohol. Not a pretty sight.


Take care.

Kas

[DogLvr]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

Treya - I am so sorry about your loss. I'm sending out positive thoughts to you to make it through this impossible time. Be strong - and know you can conquer this!

AFM - good luck with the surgery - so glad to hear it hasn't spread. And ditto on what I said to Treya!

Take care all - I feel very lucky to have found this place - and get so much strength from all of your words.

[greeneyes]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

Hey ho fabbies!

Long day, but away from the house thank goodness.

AFM, what a relief I felt to hear the cancer had not spread. :l I have had you on a prayer list; I hope that's OK.

Treya, I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I have the same voice of experience as kaslo. I think that the loss of a parent(s) is a significant life passage for all of us. I wish I had been fully present for the first one. I look back through haze of that time with regret now. I wish I had honored my parent, myself and the experience by being clear headed and really "feeling" all aspects of it. I won't let that happen again.

Tomorrow is back to the wallpaper grind.

Chopra meditation #3 and then to bed. No coffee this afternoon so I'm excited about hours and hours of sleep (I hope).

[Lavande]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

Good evening Abbers!

It's actually bed time but had to stop by to say hello. I have been busy (in a good way) all day.

Treya, I am very sorry for your loss :l
I lost my Mom when I was only 32 & I still needed her so much, she was my support system. I have missed her everyday since, can't stop thinking about her. I think they remain such an important part of our lives long after they have passed. You have us for support & I hope we can help.

Welcome home Kaslo! Hope you don't overdo on the home improvement projects

Hello to all & good night to all.
Lav is beat & ready to sleep & wake up without a hang over again tomorrow

Lav

[LVT25]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 17 WEDNESDAY

I wish I had been fully present for the first one. I look back through haze of that time with regret now. I wish I had honored my parent, myself and the experience by being clear headed and really "feeling" all aspects of it.

Me too, Greenie. Except I was drunk through both my parent's passing--but not my sister's.:l

I miss my mom and dad to Lav-sure wish they were here to run some things by.:h