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    AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

    WAZZZZZZ UP Dudes?

    HOLY CRAP!!! 30 AF Days is finally here. I thought it would never get freaking here. It seems like forever ago when I woke up hung over and said this crap has got to stop. Mrs. IJM and I are going out of some ass fajitas when we get off work this evening. I have a big weekend planned. As you know I’ve mentioned more than once my motivation issue. Well this weekend will be a test to see if I am getting it back. I wrote out a complete list of things I need to accomplish before Monday. I have little check boxes next to each one. I love checking stuff off a task list. May sound strange but I guess it is whatever works!

    **WARNING** Mushy moment…. I really do owe a good portion of getting this far AF to everyone on the MWO site. You don’t know how each of you have made a difference. My support group is also my lovely wife and my best friend. I did not want to tell them that I had failed and I certainly did not want to log into this site and tell each of you that I had failed – that is how much I feel about each of you. Mrs. IJM does not read my posts – she wants me to have my privacy so I can say whatever I want. But it is really funny. Because I tell her about stuff I am reading, sometimes she will ask things like “What’s the update on Greene’s renovation”, “Has Doggie given you any words or wisdom lately”, “what kind of dogs does Pap have”… etc. Anyway, thanks for being there for me. I know I will be leaning on each of you as I work on my next goal of 60 days!

    Ok, mushy stuff is over.

    Grennie – I really really really hate wallpaper. I hate taking it off a wall as much as I hate putting it on a wall. Because Mrs IJM is so OCD (remember, she doesn’t read these posts) everything has to line up perfectly. If the next sheet is a micron off from matching the design on the last sheet I have to rip it down and try again. I have learned a new art to profanity when it comes to wall paper!

    Det – you might appreciate this. Just got a new handgun recently. It is a Taurus 1911 45cal. I took it to an indoor range to try it out. After one box of rounds I must have really gotten tired because my accuracy went to crap when I started the next box.

    LVT – I guess dropping off my laundry with you would be a bad idea?

    Treya – You are in my thoughts. I hope the healing has started.

    M3 – Sounds like you were seeing the same head doctor as me. I am taking the exact things you described. I hope to be off the Lexapro in a month. However, I love the Ambien. I have never slept as good before taking it. It is so awesome waking up refreshed! Maybe now that I am not passed out in an AL induced coma in the evenings maybe the Ambien could ever go away at some point!

    Doggie – I may be related to your dad (which would make us related…. Just sayin). I am EXTREMELY forgetful even though I am only 29YO (plus 17)…. I walk into a room and forget why I went there. I have a tendency to repeat myself. I told Mrs. IMJ three times during a single day last week about a school event we needed to go to.

    Ok, time to hit the shower, then drive to carpool ( my day to load up a bunch or 7th and 8th graders in my truck and drive them to school.) I’m lucky, in the mornings they are still half asleep. I pitty the moms that pick them up in the afternoon when they are totally wired!

    The IJM thought of the day: I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

    Have a great day all!

    IJM

    #2
    AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

    WAY TO GO IJM ON 30 DAYS!!!! :jumpwow:roud::threesome:You're darn tootin' this is a big milestone!! Without the 30 days, where would the 60, 90, 120, 365 be????? It's ODAT and one foot in front of the other but man is it ever worth it!! Once we realize we have no control over AL, it all seems to fall in place. I would no longer put AL in my body than I would nicotine or cocaine. The latter I have no doubt in my mind it is poison. It just took me longer to realize that of AL but I do now.

    Deter-so glad you recognized HALT and took steps to stop the cravings. I'm sure RW would look the other way regarding dessert if it meant no AL (although I do think he likes a touch of it every now and then). As long as you don't go into full blown non Paleo I think you'll be fine. Remember, its a lifestyle, not a diet. Feel free to throw this back in my face in the future :H

    Speaking of guns, I've had the strongest urges lately to go find a shooting range and see if I've still got the accuracy I had when i was 13. Nothing to do with anger-I think it has to do with how strong I'm feeling these days. I'm not even motivated by fear. I just want to see if I still got it and like it. But, $$$$ is an issue so that urge will just have to wait. But can't you just see it? A pink pearl handled beauty???

    Hugs to everyone who needs one and I will check in later. Off to my breed Specialty to cheer on some friends. And after, maybe Whole Foods??????
    New Birthday: May 8, 2010

    "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

    KO the Beast!!

    Comment


      #3
      AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

      Hi guys!

      WOO HOO IJM!!!!! Congrats on this awesome milestone in your life!!!! Oh, and you can blame the forgetfulness on Post Acute Withdrawal (otherwise known as PAW). It happens to all alcoholics and can last for up to 2 years - includes forgetfulness, feeling hungover even when not drinking and all kinds of fun stuff. Whenever my brain is not functioning properly I always laugh and say "not my fault, it's the PAWS!!!" LOL

      Today is a busy day again, just doing mundane stuff, but stuff I need to get done. Then off to the trailer again for a couple of days. Supposed to be a nice weekend so i'm looking forward to it.

      Hope the rest of you abbies have an awesome AF Friday!!!
      Every day is a day to start over and remember that I am powerless over my addiction. I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
      :h

      Comment


        #4
        AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

        Morning fABbies!! Congratulations IJM on this fABulous milestone!!!!!!! :goodjob: There is a party going on somewhere in your honor.

        Det, I'm very proud of you for choosing dessert over AL. OMG after a long day, I can't imagine getting grilled about expense reports. Actually, I can't imagine that after a short day. Uggh. May today be better! When do you get home?

        P3 are you just watching the specialty???? I 'm sure that's fun too but I hope you are able to present your own dogs! I think a pink pearl handled tough chix weapon sounds AWESOME!!!

        Uni, I cannot WAIT to be your uninvited guest at the trailer!!!

        Greenie - I am glad you got out of the house for some good free food and company and something other than WALLPAPER. Sorry to hear about your Dad too. This is all hard. Sometimes my mind gets reeling in the forward direction to that place called "worry" which is so unproductive. I just have to keep reeling myself back to this moment in time.

        LVT I'm always thinking of you guys too. LOL it reminds me of being young and having imaginary friends. If anyone could hear what I'm thinking sometimes when I'm talking to all of you, I would get locked up. Do they still have nut houses? I don't think so - I think (very sadly) people with mental problems and no $$$ just end up on the streets. I digress.... :nutso:

        I too had a conversation with Mr. Doggy last night about Ass Fajitas. :H

        IJM, I think the CRS (Can't remember shit) will improve a bit with time. Maybe. I can't help you with the hopeless math. :H

        I am skipping leads group this morning just because I don't feel like it. Did I tell you guys I ran into a woman at that recovery coalition meeting who I worked for in high school? Then years later I worked for her (now XFH) husband. My Mom worked for her, and then her XFH for many years. It's a small world.

        I will say that my sleep has been improved since starting the Leptin protocol and making the room as dark as possible. I still wake up a couple times but I'm falling back to sleep right away (usually), and I'm waking up less often. It was getting REALLY bad there for awhile.

        Life is good. One thing is for sure, I could make it bad again in a heart beat with a drink. So I'm not goin' there.

        Special Friday shout out to Jenny and anyone else who needs a special vibe today!

        DG
        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


        One day at a time.

        Comment


          #5
          AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

          :banana:CONGRATULATIONS ON 30 AF DAYS, IJM!!!:banana:

          Good luck with your do list and enjoy your ass fajitas tonight. I'm going to another art exhibit reception tonight - maybe I'll get lucky and they'll be on the h'ors d'ovures table.

          Im not going to hang wall paper after this removal. I will not be hanging wallpaper ever in my entire life after this. I'm painting so the removal is a real pain in the arse because the walls have to be sort of perfect. The current problem is where the the drywall is injured (like skin peeled off a burn before it's healed), it wants to form horizontal wavy wrinkles. :wahh:

          M3, glad you're back safe. Did you have a good time?

          LVT, just holding your friend in a space of love is the best you can do, IMHO. Worrying only gets in the way of that so you can quit now. :crowned:

          Treya I hope you are in or on your way to a peaceful place about your mom's transition.
          :l

          Det, OMG!! about your boss and the 3 year expense report!! I would have wanted to choke him!

          Lav I'm behind on the meditations already. I've got to do them earlier or do them standing up because I keep falling asleep.

          DG, leptin thing is about sleep?? I'll have to revisit that.

          Uni, I'm glad you're squeezing all you can out of "summer at the cottage". It just seems like your little haven of sorts. I'd like to be on the uninvited guest list too!

          Kaz, have plans to haul your kayak around and play in the rivers now that you're back? Another uninvited guest list I'll volunteer for!

          Lav, you seem to have had a good bit of work lately! Cha-ching!

          DogLvr, what's on your plate this weekend?

          Jen, I hope you do well today whatever your choices are. I have to say I'm glad I don't have to wrangle with how much I can, can't, will, won't, want to, wish I hadn't, think about, yada yada yada,.... drink. There is SO much peace in the absence of that for me. Grateful, grateful, grateful that is over.

          Shite, it's 9 AM! Gotta get a move on!
          sigpic
          Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

          Comment


            #6
            AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

            Good morning Abbers!

            IJM, hope you are proud of yourself today! We are all proud of you
            Don't hurt yourself with the fajitas tonight :H

            papmom, there's a gun club about a mile or two away from me so I hear them often. Seems kind of a dumb hobby to me ~ I'm happier doing something constructive with a sewing machine :H

            Uni, enjoy your weekend. I'm jealous of your nice weather. It has been seriously damp here all week. I took a walk across my yard to see my neighbors yesterday & noticed lots of wild mushroom-like things growing in the grass!!

            DG, it is strange running into people from your past like that
            Had a few heat related awakenings myself last night caused (I think) by some extra stress this week, oh well.

            OK, time to get in gear! Hope everyone has a fantastic AF Friday!!

            OOPS! Hi Greenie!

            Lav
            AF since 03/26/09
            NF since 05/19/09
            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

            Comment


              #7
              AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

              Hello friends,

              It's a beautiful cool fallish feeling morning here again. It is weird when you can see the humidity!

              WAY TO GO IJM!!!!! the first 30 days is THE longest! The rest will fly by-I swear! :goodjob:

              My hubby loves his guns, he just got a new one, but it's a secret. AK something???????
              Anyway, it is convenient when he buys his own birthday present, and I don't have to worry about feeling guilty about spending money on myself. Pap--I think a pretty pink handgun would be lovely. They have pink and pink camo BB guns and bows too. I am seriously considering maybe taking up bow-hunting. At least take the hunter safety class and go from there--if I find some free time!

              The closest I came to divorcing my 1st husband the first time was during a wallpapering project. I told my current husband we would NEVER be doing that together. Luckily, I have a MIL and SIL that LOVE to wallpaper! Greenie-I feel for you trying to get that shit off and then paint. I removed a border from my son's room, and you can still see where I didn't get all the glue off!

              I am still trying to find time to do the guided meditations as well.:upset: Maybe instead of the 1 hour of computer time in the morning and evening?

              You guys all have a great sober weekend!:h
              _______________
              NF since June 1, 2008
              AF since September 28, 2008
              DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
              _____________
              :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
              5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
              _______________
              The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

              Comment


                #8
                AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

                You guys are all on the INVITED list!!! Next summer, come to Ontario and we can do a retreat at the trailer!!! Swimming, suntanning, vegetating! All the good stuff! :h
                Every day is a day to start over and remember that I am powerless over my addiction. I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
                :h

                Comment


                  #9
                  AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday



                  ASS FAJITAS ~ It's what's for dinner!
                  sigpic
                  Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                  Comment


                    #10
                    AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

                    Good Morning guys, and thank you so much for the special shout outs. I did my final yesterday in math and made an 87! I made an 80 in the class! That is soooo awesome! I'm going to try a sober Friday today. Last weekend I drank Friday and Saturday 5 drinks a piece and sleep like crap and have been tired all week because I don't get good rest when I drink even alittle. I know what I need to do, I need to say I will not drink today and I will be so thankful tomorrow when I get a good nights rest and feel great! I think I may take the family to putt putt for some family fun tonight.

                    Congrats IJM on 30 days! It feels great huh!

                    Traya hope your doing well today!

                    Have a great day all, I will check in later.
                    You always succeed if you never stop trying.
                    Everyday we choose the direction of change.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

                      Congratulations, IJM on 30 days!!!! That is so awesome (unlike that "Ass Fajita" pic above).....

                      Lav-just wanted to pop on and ask if you got any of the torrential downpours last night that we got.....I would love to know how many inches we got...it was so hard, I thought it was hailing too....I got up around 2am just to go check! Lot of lightening and thunder too...I opened my blinds for that show.

                      And Happy Friday to all of you wonderful people!!
                      Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

                        :H I had the dogs driving me nuts overthe weather last night Grateful :H
                        Action News said there was peanut sized hail in Oxford
                        I was too damn tired to get up & check :H
                        AF since 03/26/09
                        NF since 05/19/09
                        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                        Comment


                          #13
                          AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

                          greeneyes;1165648 wrote:

                          ASS FAJITAS ~ It's what's for dinner!
                          OMG!!!!! :H I can't wait until Det sees this! "It's what's for dinner" indeed! :H

                          Greenie - the whole premise of this protocol is to balance out the ebb and flow of all these hormones the way it's supposed to be instead of all screwed up from eating and snacking all the time, right before bed, etc. Interesting research and lord knows I don't need to be eating right before I go to bed based on anyone's plan! Mastering Leptin by Byron Richards seems to provide a layman's explanation of how all these hormones work and work together that I have come across so far.

                          Grateful - good to see you as always! Hope the bad storms are past you and Lav by now!

                          Jenny, congrats on a good grade in math!!! I start back to school next week and I'm excited and nervous at the same time! If you can do it, maybe I can do it too. YOU GO GIRL on sober Friday and some putt putt.

                          Uni - IT'S A DEAL!!

                          LVT - I have always admired bow hunters. Knew several who did that years ago when I lived in Missouri in the Ozark hills.

                          Lav, was Johnny a part of your heat related awakenings last night? (don't worry, I'll share!)

                          Went to the mall today, ostensibly to return a couple of things which I did. And then I went to the shoe department. I asked the young kid to help me with trying on a pair of flat, casual boots. He comes out of the back with those, and these really hot looking ankle high boots with a high, but not TOO high heel and cool zipper trim. VERY hot. He said "I think these would look great on you." Of course I bought them. He has a very bright future at Carsons and will probably be President & CEO in no time. :H

                          I've also had to buy some big ass jeans from eating too many ass fajitas for dinner. :upset: Oh well. Such is life. I'm AF and that is what counts!

                          DG
                          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                          One day at a time.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

                            Hello All,

                            IJM, AKA BIG DEAL, what are you doing on your 30 day anni? Hmmmm? Oh, and the ambien. I loved it too but I used to drink on it and that was wayyy bad so I gave the ambien up when I stopped drinking.

                            Greenie, Vaca was not so good. It rained the entire time we were there. I am not a happy person when I am cooped up in a house with lots of people. I hope that all of you weren't eating popcorn and watching me have a near meltdown while I was there...not a pretty site. :HI was happy to come home to the warm, sunny weather.

                            Jenny, congrats on your math exam. I am thinking that you are close to giving Al up for good. Be careful and stay safe until you do, ok?:l

                            DG, Fajitas, Leptin? I have not been keeping up on the threads like I should. When do you start school?

                            Lav, you are getting some crazy weather in PA these days.

                            LVT...hugs to you.

                            Gotta get a move on and get a few things done before the end of the day is here. I'm leaving Monday for a business trip to Denver.

                            Hi Grateful,

                            M3:h
                            AF Since April 20, 2008
                            4 Years!!!
                            :lilheart:

                            Comment


                              #15
                              AF-DAILY AUGUST 18 Friday

                              M3 I am so sorry the weather was crap for your vacation. I saw the forecast so took my popcorn to Uni's. What do you do when you are cooped up with people? I don't like that feeling either....

                              School starts next week. Monday I should be able to sign in and get going on my on-line classes and Tuesday I'm on campus! :yougo:

                              Are you going to start Yoga teacher training?

                              DG
                              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                              One day at a time.

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