AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

[Determinator]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Happy Un-hung Monday Aberooooos!

having a nice slow-ish Monday and I'm A OK with that.

great jobs IJM and Treya! glad your feeling better. AF life is indeed grand.

DoggyGirl, i'll be hitting you up for that link (you could have guessed LOL) it's amazing how that even with that enormous rush of strong chemicals we don't get the perceived pleasure anymore from that toxic crap. where as _________ is always wonderful as it should be! speaking of which, Dx has been gone for waaaay too freaking long. grumble, grumble.....

Cinders, I'm a secular recoverer (is that a word?) was raised very religious now I'm a recovering Christian

arritey, time to peel some garlic for breakfast.

be well

[universal]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Hi guys,

LVT - I can't get pics to load on this silly thing - I will see if I can get hubby to take a pic when I get home and I'll send it to DG (as she is my official photo loader! LOL - I'll get some new ones of Boo too).

Kas - I am on disability leave right now so yes, I have the summer off. But I am still doing a lot of therapy and work on myself. The trailer is my serenity zone to do the work I need to do.

I did a crapola load of gardening around the front of the trailer today. I am exhausted. There were 4 bushes that I hated that I had to pull out. I landed on my ass quite a few times when the roots finally came loose! LOL But it's done. Now I can finally do the garden stone in memory of my mom that I've been wanting to do to put in the garden - the space is cleared and ready for it now.

Have a good one guys!

[Accountable for Me]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Hi!

Just a check in from me....

I am booked for surgery on September 1, and am having some anxiety about losing a boob. Then I will be meeting with the Cancer Clinic to determine what type of chemo they will be using and then treatments will commence. Having some anxiety about losing my hair. :upset:

Other than that I have been trotting along pretty well. Haven't turned to AL for 'comfort' and just wiggling myself through all of the Doctors/surgeons/MRI/Biopsy etc appointments.

One thing tho, is that I have become extremely isolated. I can't muster the energy to 'hang' out with my friends the past two weeks. I simply lost my mojo for socializing. I was on the phone with my BFF yesterday just bawling and asking her to not think I don't care and that I am sorry for hermitizing myself since finding out I have cancer. She is suck a wonderful friend and is completely supportive and understands. I have to admit, that since I became friends with her earlier this year, I cannot believe how 'true' of a person she is. She is such a 'real' friend. Something I haven't had in so long..... since I spent the better part of the last 10 years turning to dear old alcohol. So, this makes me feel good, but I still can't muster up the energy to visit, or have her visit me lately. Makes me feel like a shitty friend.

My sister got married to a real dufus, mother's boy, on Saturday. I was the only one in the WHOLE family that wasn't invited. :H She is such a stupid, do*che bag. Here she was phoning and texting me when I received word about this cancer. Pretending to be all upset. (we haven't spoken prior since my dad's death in December) But once I got the diagnosis that it is probably not a death sentence, she stopped talking to me again. Personally I don't care, but I told my mother yesterday, that all updates about me will not be coming from me to her. period.

Well that is all my lovelies. I will check in after my surgery (or maybe before).

Much love as always. xoxo

[Doggygirl]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Hi again fABbies!

AFM, it is so good to see your post and get the update. I can't even imagine how unsettling it must be to think about losing a boob, and other possible side effects of treatment. Sister (my AA sponsor) did not lose any hair so maybe you won't lose any hair either! One day at a time, right? I'm so happy that you have such a good friend in your life. I bet she totally understands that you will go through phases and I bet she will be supportive even during times you don't feel up to socializing and visiting. AL DOES NOT PROVIDE COMFORT. But friends do! :l

Uni the garden memorial sounds really lovely! And of course I am happy to be your official picture poster. Can't wait to see the tattoo and also how much Boo has grown!

Det, I PM'd you a link - let me know if that works. I am a recovering Methodist. I felt the earth tremble a bit right there, and I'm sure it was my granny rolling around in her grave.

Cindi - I'm so happy you are able to spend some quality time with your Mom. All AF days are good ones but especially when we can be "there" for loved ones in ways that we simply cannot when we are drinking. I too have done a lot of spiritual searching since sobering up. Seems many people do. I strongly feel the life force that connects us all. I'm just not sure I can describe exactly what it is that connects us, if that makes sense? May we all enjoy the journey.

Well, zoom zoom. I need to get in some exercise today.

One thing is for sure...

DG

[Kaslo]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

I was raised by wolves.

Here is my kayak photo from yesterday, as promised.

[Doggygirl]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Kas -another fab picture as always. For some reason, I thought of the movie "Deliverance." :egad:

Finally got course info for one of my on-line classes. I'm reading the Grading Policies/Procedures section, and found that 20% of my grade will be based on "Discussion Board Participation." I should be ready for that after my time here, yes????? :H

Lav - how are you doing today? Did you go to Curves and check it out?

DG

[Lavande]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Hi all!

Yes DG, I did go to Curves & liked what I saw there so I'm signed up & will be returning first thing in the AM
The owner is exactly my age (not 29) & we had a great talk. I think just getting my A$$ out of here 3 days/week & mingling with other people will be a huge help for me mentally. I am so friggin isolated here in my home shop in cow country - it's kind of pathetic
I was glad to see & try out a few of the machines -they are doable & not the big nasty things I remember from my last attempt going to a gym in 1982!!!!!!! God, that was awful.
It was a picture perfect day here, sunny, 80 degrees, nice breeze & no humidity. It's was about damn time too :H :H
I think you are going to like your online classes, I did

Kaslo, I'm glad that piece of wood in your pic is not your kayak :H

Hi Greenie, LVT & everyone! Where's Marshy?

[Kaslo]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Deliverance is about right, donno how many of yez have been to the Kootenays but its the Canadian Ozarks, just ask Bean. Lol, Im glad thats not my kayak too. The Curves thing is great, but I found I hurt myself a lot on the machines trying to be a wad, I guess. as my 21 year old would say.

kaslo

[Lavande]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Kas- the machines at Curves looked tiny & delicate compared to the things I remember.......
21 year olds should watch their mouths :H

I have never been in your region - sounds rustic?

[greeneyes]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Kaslo;1167255 wrote: I hurt myself a lot on the machines trying to be a wad, I guess.

ROFL!!! Kaz, too funny!!!!

Lav, I'm glad you're excited about curves. I need to get my arse back to the gym too. I remember myself posting about being happy about swimming... what happened to that?

AFM, :l. Husb #1's wife had breast cancer and a mastectomy and she's completely on the other side of it. She looked so cute with her cool hats and then really short hairstyles. You've become such an incredibly strong person since kicking the AL, I'm so impressed with how you handle yourself. I'm sure your friend knows how you appreciate her. Remember that it's important to allow people to be givers.

Now I'm in the bathtub room part. That old wallpaper glue is a bitch.
sand sand sand
spackle spackle spackle
sand sand sand
ugh

Somebody came by the house about 6 PM to pick something up - office related. I was barefoot, a little sweaty and pretty much covered in drywall dust. But as I stood there chatting, I kept thinking how nice it was to be able to do that and not be reeking of booze. Funny I still think of that, but it was such an ever-present issue that the sense of freedom from it is still strong.

[Cinders]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

This is what I was afraid of

"Cinders, I'm a secular recoverer (is that a word?) was raised very religious now I'm a recovering Christian "

When I posted about trying to find my spirituality. I absolutely know that spirituality and religion are two separate entities.

I was just hoping for some input.

Det. I can understand wanting to be "out from under the yolk" of religion. That is what my parents were seeking and found.

But there is not "perfect place." Eden is gone.

I was truly praying that some of my Christian friends could help with the dilemma I am in.

I am lost in the Zen kind of thing and the Tsai kind of thing. I have actually been there and lived that. I trust in a child who was born in a manger and at age 13 started preaching to the the rabbis and the masses against the oppresion he was under. He said "Love G-d above no other, love children because they are pure, and after that, try to do the best you can and if not, G-d loves you anyways." I have no other religion that cares that much for its people.

Unfortunately, there are many "religions" that want to take you on and make you theirs.

I won't do that.

I want to be in a place where I can open my heart to my Higher Power and trust that he is listening and I want to be in a place where I can take my grandchildren and know they are safe.

I know you can imagine what I am thinking of. The priests that have abused their young ones and the ministers that have, also.

Geez.

I just want to land in a place where I can "know" my grandchildren are safe and loved and a place where I know I am loved, too.

Where is that???

Love,
Cindi

[universal]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

That place is in your heart Cindi.........:h

[ItsJustMe]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Evening all –

Just buzzing in for a quick minute to tell everyone hi!

Dental appointment was not that bad…yet! I get to go back tomorrow morning for a deep cleaning (2 hours). They asked if I wanted anesthesia and I told them to biggy size it! I am a baby when it comes to pain! Then they are going to give me a list of things that need to be done. I sort of feel like I am a house that just sold and they are doing a punch list!
But hey, it’s about time I dealt with it.

Looks like I am not the only “list” person. I found a great iPhone/iPad application to help me with this. It is called Evernote. It does a whole lot more than just lists. I pretty much have my life in it – notes, lists, recipes, you name it. I won’t take up the thread talking about it but it is a very cool app so PM me if you are interested and I can give you a once over easy of how I am using it.

Treya – tidy the home office was one of the three things that were on my list that didn’t happen. So it is still there…

LVT – I tried the counselor route one time. Maybe I didn’t give it a chance but it just didn’t work for me. I found an MD that could address the issue from multiple directions seems to work for me much better. A big plus is that he understands how I feel and can refine it to tell me what is actually going on in my head chemical wise that makes me feel the way I do. As a science person, that really helps me. Keeps me from thinking I am going crackers!

Kaslo – I would love to get back into photography. When I was a kid I had a dark room and developed black and white prints. Last time I checked into doing color I would have to take out a second mortgage just to get started. Digital is great but there is just something about the nostalgia of 35mm SLR photography. My digital camera is a Nikon SLR but my old standby is a 30 year old 35mm Nikon FM.

Cindi – Over our 23 years of wedded bliss Mrs. IJM and I have only disagreed on two things – prochoice/prolife and religion. We disagreed on it when we were dating and just never talked about either too much. The choice/life thing is something we were able to put aside and agree to disagree. Religion is all together different. I grew up in a very formal Presbyterian environment. Her in a much more relaxed and laid back Baptist environment. We could never agree on a church. But I plan to put all that aside now.

DG – What sorority are you pledging… Rush week usually starts the first week of school :H:H:H When I was dating, AOII and Phi Mu were my personal favortes!

AFM – I can’t possibly image what you are feeling. However, it might comfort you to know that I have two female co-workers that went through exactly the same thing over the past couple of years. One lost some hair and the other did not at all. The one that did grew back pretty fast. Both had a total mastectomy rather than one. They both came out with flying colors.

Ok, off to bed. My day started out at 4AM and I am fading fast.

Later!
IJM

[papmom3]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Busy thread today!! Loved reading everyone's comings and goings as I usually do.

AFM-Things will move fast for you. Check out wig companies now while you have the energy-your local support group should be able to give you great referrals. If I wasn't told my co worker and my sister's SIL had both lost their hair, I would never have known. Both their wigs were the same color and same style as their regular hair. And both grew back their hair just lovely. Make sure you are fitting in some pampering now and after the surgery when you are stronger. This is one instance where YOU are the most important thing. Your friend knows this and she is there for you no matter what your mood or emotions. As are we. :l

Cinders-good luck with finding your Place. I think Uni is right-ultimately it is in your heart. I was raised Protestant and I do enjoy going to services every once in a while but I feel closer to my higher power in nature. I don't have grandkids tho so my experiences are different than yours. I do understand tho your desire to find a safe place for them to be and learn.

DG-you should kick arse on the class discussion board! :H

Greenie-yep-very freeing to be able to answer the door or the phone and not worry if the person can tell you are shit faced. So very glad those days are over!!

Kas-awesome pic!! I too am glad that wasn't your kayak!!

Lav-You will LOVE Curves!! There was only one machine I sort of got hurt on-it was the squat machine. You have to position yourself just right and take it SLOW!! Which of course I did not do. Ouch. I think this is an awesome thing you are doing for yourself and I bet it changes perspective on a lot of things!!

IJM- I just love your energy and your willingness to open up to us. Your wife is a very lucky person!!

Det-same goes for you! And garlic to boot! Glad you enjoyed the company-its good in moderation!

LVT-I can't even imagine what it's like to be a parent of teenage boys, even tho I'm an Auntie to 2. So far so good with them. I'm sure your guys will be just fine!

So I made the call this morning to Job #2a. She even answered!! Said she had a student in her office and promised to call me back in 2 min. I'm still waiting!! I sent her an email after lunch laying it on the line and asked her to give me an answer by Wed. It's in the Universe's hands now. I've done all I can and more. Should also hear this week if I made the cut to the second round of interviews for job #3. More waiting.

Must hit the sack now. I'll check in tomorrow. :l

[Doggygirl]

AF-DAILY AUGUST 22 Monday

Cindi, I hope you find where that place is for you. :l:l I wish I had a road map. I hope you find what you are searching for!

Part 1, the easy part of a 6 part homework assignment for ONE class this week.....holy cow I better dust off some student skills starting NOW!

DG