AF August Angels - Week 4

[Stargazerlily]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Good morning to all.

Lav, Cass, I am relieved to hear that you felt the earthquake and are safe. I heard about it at work yesterday, and a colleague said her chair moved, so it was felt all over.

Lav, so Curves was fun and you felt better. I can relate as I sometimes want to stay home, but when I go out and exercise or run around, my mood lifts.

Dew, continuing to send you positive healing energy and glad you checked in.

I just have to work today and will hopefully het out to ride my bike before I leave. Balance, balance is the best way to go.

To all, have a great AF day.

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Good morning August friends!

Yep Star, I am trying to find some balance in my life - possibly for the first time ever.
I am sick & tired of living everyone else's life, if you know what I mean

Cool air coming in the windows right now, nice. But now we are watching the track of Hurricane Irene so everything is about to change......oh well

Wishing everyone a great day, will be back later!

Lav

[papmom3]

AF August Angels - Week 4

My goodness! Where was everyone today? Thanks Lav and Star for posting. So glad Curves is a fun place for you Lav and that Star, you are working hard to find balance. Something I need very badly.

I had some very bad news about both jobs-didn't get either one and was in a bad place earlier this evening. I just wanted to go comatose. I posted the details and I hope you don't mind if i copy and paste here:


So at 4pm today, my friend (possibly ex friend) who is also on the search committee for Job #3, who I trained, mentored and stood by for 10 years through a divorce, growing pains personally and in her career, comes into my office to tell me I didn't make it to the final round of interviews. Apparently the competition was fierce and the "committee" felt that after the phone interviews, 3 people had stronger recommendations then me. What???? All my recs were from my current school, one of which is the person who is retiring and whose job I was seeking.This person I work VERY closely with and unless I am blind, dumb and just plain clueless, she was behind me taking over for her. The other rec is my coworker, and the 3rd one is the person I worked with over in the Evening Div. I thought she loved me!! So, who betrayed me? I guess my phone interview was just a courtesy interview. This hurts as bad as any breakup I've ever gone through. I really feel stupid to think I even had a chance at being promoted and making some decent money. Oh, and to add salt to the wound, I never heard back from Job #2a. I had asked her to let me know either way by today.

So with no prospects on the horizon, I am feeling very very scared about my financial future but more so about what is going to happen to my "kids". If it were just me and the cats I would walk away from this house and find a cheap apartment. But I can't do that with 3 dogs and I refuse to give them up until I am forced to. I have the appraiser coming on Friday for the refi appraisal and I just have such a bad feeling that it's not going to go my way. If the refi does go through it will give me some relief but not enough. Well there is always Walmart or McDonalds for a PT job I guess. .

I sat in that liquor store parking lot for 15 min today on the way home. I read as many threads as I could on my phone and kept telling myself I was stronger than the hurt and humiliation. What would I say to someone else in my shoes? What have I said in the past? I was finally able to continue on home.

My friend came over after work and brought PF Chang's broccoli and beef and then we finished my nephew's quilt. All i have to do now is tie it off which will be laborious and time consuming but I can do it while watching TV the next 2 nights. I will try to get pics up by Friday nite-at the latest during the party on Sat.

I am thankful I didn't drink over this relatively small bump in the road, compared to what other's are going through.

Must hit the hay now and try to get some sleep.

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Get some rest now papmom

[Chillgirl]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Papmom - :l I'm so so sorry for your troubles and I was holding my breath reading about you outside the liquor store. In these situations is there not someone you can call? I don't have any here but in Portugal I had an ex addict friend who would always be there to talk me round or a contact frm AA. I hope when you wake up this morning your troubles feel lighter. As for your boys, they will be happy as long as they are with you, dogs just go along with us and if you had to move someplace smaller they would adapt even if it's not ideal.

I'm having a few wobbles here myself, the guy who pays me rent for my house in Portugal paid short this month and has now asked me to call him urgently. If he defaults on the lease there is no way for me to pay my rent here, my salary is only enough to live on and would not cover any of my rent. I will find out more later.

I have been very lazy all week and haven't made it once to the gym, I just can't seem to get motivated to get out of bed and in the evenings I'm way too tired to go. This gets me down as I so love how exercise makes me feel. I hope to make up for it on the weekend.

Right I'm off to walk Elle before work, have a good day Angels.

[Stargazerlily]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Good morning all..

Papmom, wow it really stinks that you did not get either job. Usually there are so many other things going on, political things, that influence someone else getting the job. And remember, they may not work out, and you are high on the list. I did not get a job I wanted and a few months later got a call that said the person who did get it did not work out. So, keep looking, you will find something better. I am so glad you were able to pull out of the parking lot and not drink. Imagine where you would be now if that had gone down. Instead, you have your dignity and respect and you AF time. We are here for you.

Chill, never a dull moment, huh. I hope that your renter pays up. I sometimes need a break from exercise and it sounds like you are listening to you body and maybe need a little rest.

Lav, hey, are you going to be affected by the Hurricane?

I have to get off early today and hopefully leave early too. So, no time for reflection. Have a productive AF day.

[rustop61]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Hi everyone

Rushing as usual but just wanted to send cyber hugs to Papmom and Chill. Well done Pap for driving out of that parking lot. Think of how much worse you would feel this morning. Hope everything works out financially. Hard times everywhere. We were out to dinner last night with both girls and boyfriends. Lovely night and great meal. However, my older girls boyfriend is out of work. He left school early and has worked the last 2 years. His Mom believes once they reach 18 move out and fend for themselves. The lease was up on the place he had been staying and the leaseholder has immigrated. He has been staying in hostels in the city while trying to get something. It was 11.30 by the time the meal was over and he was heading into the city by bus. We knew he would not get in anywhere and he has not the security of going home. We ended up putting him up for the night. I really dont want to adopt a 3rd but it is dangerous at that time of night so what can you do.

Weather is ugh here today so did not get much of a walk. Brought both doggies to the vet and got my car checked. Off now to do my favourite chore - ironing!!!

Rustop

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Good morning all!

Wow! It looks like we need to do some serious group manifesting here

I have always had an aversion to thinking about money & money matters. I think I just figured if I worked my a$$ off then everything would be OK. That doesn't doesn't sound very intelligent these days, does it? Yet financial planning is something we would all benefit from......

Chill, I truly hope your renter comes thru for you! I have no idea how I would handle that situation.

Star, I'm sure there will be heavy rains & floods in these parts Saturday & Sunday. Fortunately I am far enough inland to not get the most serious winds from a hurricane. I'm saying this with my fingers crossed
I'm heading out later for some bottled water, etc. The generator we installed here shortly after moving in has been on the fritz since last winter. I keep telling YB that it no longer starts up for it's weekly test run but he doesn't seem to comprehend...... No power here means no water, no toilet flushing (yuck), etc......

Hi Rustop!!!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Thursday

Lav

[Dewdrop]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Papmom I was so sad to read your news you are clearly very disappointed and hurt yet you did the very, very best thing and drove home without the booze and I am so, so proud of you. I know that you feel helpless and despondent but I just know that things will turn around for you; you try so hard and are such a positive person things will somehow work out I feel it in my bones :l A good night?s sleep can often let us see things in a different light so hang in there as we are all sending good vibes your way ? I just wish I could do more.

Chill more hugs your way :l renting out property is not for the fainthearted, it?s very easy when it goes well but becomes a nightmare when problems arise, but especially since you are so far away and so dependent on the rent. I think it is very encouraging that the tenant is trying to contact you which suggests he wants to sort things out, he could have just not paid the rent for a month or two and then done a runner. I so appreciate how you feel when you are not exercising, I have struggled these past few months and really miss my regular power walking/jogging. I have started walking for 30 mins at a time this week to get me back into the swing of things but it is so easy to lose the momentum once you stop and it feels like starting from scratch

I?ll catch up with you all later, I have my monthly meditation group tonight and it?s my turn to host it so I?d better run a duster over things and at least clean the bathroom. It?s a beautiful evening so we might do a walking meditation in the garden first, anyway better scoot........

Dewdrop :h

[Chillgirl]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Evening Angels

Papmom - I hope you are ok and feeling better. We sure all take our turns on the dark side of the moon. Isnt it good that we do so at different times so when some are down the others can pull them up.

Dewdrop - Thank you for your words of encouragement. Im glad to hear you are getting back to exercise, for me its always been my greatest therapy.

Well its been quite a day and I never cease to be amazed and what life has to teach me. My old car was due its inspection today and it failed :upset: the cost to put it right is over ?250 which is half my monthly living expenses. However bigger burdens weighed on my mind re the rent from Portugal. It turns out my pool pump needed replaced and the tenant was withholding the cost of this which he had paid. I cant make any personal calls during working hours and certainly couldnt call Portugal so I'd text Oliver, my husband this morning asking if he would call the tenant to find out what the problem was. (The house is still legally owned by him) Not only did he call the tenant and get back to me with reassurance but he will also meet the cost of the pump! So at the end of the day my car bill I can live with....

Im still having major doubts about my new relationship, not about Ken but about whether I want to be in a relationship at all. I have cut back on seeing him from 4 nights a week to only 2 and havent seen him since last weekend. Now Friday is looming and I start to get anxious. I just want to come home from work and curl up alone with Elle instead. Its a real dilema as he is as perfect as any man could be and I can find no fault with him other than the space he takes up. He is the sweetest natured man I have ever met, he's kind, funny, interesting, loving and handsome. He has a beautiful country home which he wants me to share and as you already know I utterly adore his son but......I have this overwhelming feeling at times that I want to opted out of everything remotely normal. I do however realize that I need to be 200% certain of this before I act on it and I will give it some time. My life has undergone so many changes in just 3 months, new Country, new Town, new home, new job and new relationship. If I wasnt a little wacky Id be worried :nutso:

[Dewdrop]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Well I had a lovely evening with my meditation group they are such a great bunch and it?s so good to spend time with like minded people. None of my friends meditate regularly and the people I work with think I?m a bit odd with my interest in meditation and spirituality so it?s good to be around people on the same wavelength. One of the group who is an ordained Buddhist is organising a Friendship and Spirituality Weekend at the end of the year and has invited me along. Also a new member joined our group tonight and she lives only a couple of miles away so I am hopeful we can become friends as she enjoys hillwalking and other interests I have. I feel a whole new group of friends have opened up and are still opening up to me and it?s all because I found MWO and stopped drinking.

Actually it?s a year today since I joined MWO and I was reflecting this evening how far I have come and how much my life has changed ? and all for the better. I was in such a bad place and in such bad way this time last year that it?s difficult now to comprehend how I ever got to the stage of drinking a couple of bottles of wine a night. As you guys know I did have a few drinks in February (or was it March I can?t remember now) over a weekend but during the past 365 days I have been AF for 363 of them and I?m pretty pleased with that. Although I?ve had a health scare these past few months which has knocked me sideways a little I know for a fact I would never have coped if I had still been drinking. But I think the best thing I have gained this past year is peace of mind, contentment and the knowledge that whatever life throws at me I have the tools and support here to cope. It?s funny to think that a virtual world of friends can mean so much - you are all lifesavers :thanks:

Well I?m off to bed as it?s a late one for me and I need my beauty sleep, see you in the morning.

Dewdrop :h

[Lavande]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Dewdrop, congrats on your AF year minus 2 days!!!!!!
I am very happy that you are doing so well & enjoying your meditation group
Virtual friends have come to mean a lot to me as well :l

Chill, you have the universe in your back pocket girl :H
I'm glad your finances have worked out, for the most part

I wasn't expecting them but my daughter, DIL & all the babies arrived at lunchtime & didn't leave until 8:45 pm. Turned into a fun day!

Not it's time to get serious prepping for this hurricane blowing up the coast
What a crazy weather week, for sure!

Wishing a good night to all!
Lav

[sdlovespackers]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Another crazy work day...followed by doctor apts...then our school open house....i'm beat!!! All i have time for (or the energy for) is one GIANT group :hug: And an extra one for Papmom:l

TGIF (tomorrow) LADIES!!!!
(very emotional week here)---withdrew my son from his parochial school and enrolled him in my school....UGH!!! BEST decision I ever made!!!!! He LOVES IT and is so much happier!!!!
SD

[papmom3]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Hi All-just wanted to check in and let you all know I'm OK. Spent most of the night in the basement again due to nasty T-storms. They are not over but I'm exhausted and MUST get to bed!! Up early tomorrow to clean clean clean for the appraiser, then do mega work from home plus tie off the quilt. You would have thought I would have done that while I was sequestered tonite but no. I'll check in tomorrow. Good posts today!!

[Chillgirl]

AF August Angels - Week 4

Good morning from lazy Chill
Alarm's gone off but instead of the gym I'm still in bed with my mint tea, I've decided to enjoy the decadence instead of feeling guilty, it is what it is.

Dewdrop - what a wonderful post! I love reflection and we should remember more often how far we have come. Like you, my drinking had crept up to 2 bottles of wine a night, just thinking about it now gives me a headache :H I was buying wine yesterday in the supermarket for Ken this weekend and there are no pangs whatsoever when I'm in the wine isle. In fact I find it a really depressing place to be and can't wait to get out of it, I swear I can now feel the negative energy in all those bottles.

Lav - in the words of David Ji "I am the Universe" how apt the meditation was last night after my money issues.

Papmom - you sound your busy energetic self, what insane weather you guys are having, here it just rains and rains....

SD - thanks for the group hug, sending some group love right back at you :groupluv:

Wishing you all a wonderful Friday