Mary, I hope everything is going better for you. I'm learning to utilize more of my AA tools - such as calling my sponsor when I am having a crisis, instead of a day or a week later. Getting over asking for help (not something that comes real naturally to me) is a big, big step. Then following her advice.... I have a bit of a resistant streak or stubbornness or something. Or just a plain "I don't want to!" I'll put it off, but find when I get around to it, I feel a lot better, and whatever I feared or whatever usually isn't anywhere near as unpleasant as I think. I've still got the old alcoholic mind that can go to some really warped places if I let it. Retraining from my old way of doing things is definitely work.
Catch and Kimberly - that's great you two got to meet up! One thing I do love about AAs is it really is like old friends, even when you first meet. Something that is incredibly rare in the "real world" - or that's been my experience. It's great to see how your programs are helping out in your real lives!
Catch, that is so cool you could hook up your friend with your other friend's son! It's such a difference to meaningfully participate in the world vs just watch from the sidelines. Sometimes in big ways, and sometimes small, but making a positive difference to somebody.
Kimberly, I agree about the desperation factor when we are getting sober without AA. I didn't always feel desperate, but that I had to just be oh-so-tough. Eventually that wore me down. I could only fight for so long. It sure felt good when I could finally learn to "let it go." I credit AA for that.
I went to a speaker meeting tonight and out for coffee with 3 others, plus a totally new guy. I love being able to get to know others on such a different level. I like being able to talk honestly to men - something I realized I know very little about. Before I could only relate to them as either buddies to kid around with, or potential boyfriends (?) which made me really put up my guard and be pretty fake when I think about it. No wonder I had relationship problems.
I haven't been able to get to too many meetings because of my work schedule - well honestly I guess I could get up and out of the house a little earlier most days! Anyway, the point is, I do treasure my AA time and the meetings I do get to. I'm scheduled to work on birthday night, unless I can find someone who wants to switch Saturday for Sunday. My sponsor told me to contact the member in charge of it, and tell her to get me a chip, and to call my sober sister and ask her to introduce me. She said to put it in motion "as if." Hmmm... we'll see. I'm half done - I still have to contact my sober sister ("Mom" said so...
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DG, that's cool about the classes you are taking! I need to check back on the old threads - I've read bits and pieces. Did you happen to hear the NPR show "Fresh Air" (June 23) where she interviewed this guy talking about the brain and pleasure and addiction?
'The Compass Of Pleasure': Why Some Things Feel So Good : NPR
I was going to post that back when I heard it, but haven't come on here much, but hearing you're studying that field reminded me!
Hi to Phil too, and anybody else that drops in here I don't know about! Coming back here really makes me miss you guys, and it's also a reminder I can do something else "AA" when I can't get to a lot of meetings (the 24/7 one we got right here!).
Much, much love to you all, and I hope everyone has a wonderful week!
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